Fifty Shades Complete
by newgirl3366
Summary: Keeping with the story as EL James wrote it. This starts with Teddy at 6wks of age and explore's Ana's and Christian's new roles as mother and father.
1. Chapter 1

*I do not own any of these characters. All characters belong to E.L. James and Fifty Shades of Grey*

*This is my first try ever at a fanfic please be honest and let me know what you think. If you like it I will do more. *

It is July and a rare midsummer afternoon rain is falling over the sound. I sit in my rocking chair slowing moving back and forth. Hearing only the patter of drops on the window, my own voice humming a lullaby and the soft grunts made by Teddy as he nurses at my breast. This is peace. This is tranquility. This is my own piece of heaven in my own home. Gazing out the large window I feel content. The gray clouds reflected in the water match the color of my son's eyes. At only 6 weeks old he already has the eyes of his father, but he is a perfect combination of us both. I feel the warmth of him against me and I can't help but let my mind drift back over the past year. So much has happened, so many unexpected things. All of which led up to this moment, in this house, in this nursery. And as I hold my baby in my arms I know that I would not change a thing.

"Ana," Christian's voice calling wakes me from my thoughts. He smiles at the sight of Teddy and me as he walks in the nursery. "It's almost time to get ready to go in to see Dr. Greene for your appointment." I sigh; I wish I could spend all afternoon here with my baby.

"I know," I smile up at him. "Will you change Ted and dress him for me while I dress?"

"Sure baby." Christian reaches down and caresses Teddy's soft cheek before lifting him from my arms. I readjust pale blue night dress and stand to tie my robe by around me. Christian's long fingers stroke my cheek turning my face up to his. His lips gently graze mine. "I love you Mrs. Grey."

"I love you Christian," I breathe. "I'll go and have my shower and dress." "Ted and I will be waiting for you." He turns and walks to the changing table. Softly speaking to our son he lays him down and begins to change him. _What have I done to deserve this beautiful man? Beautiful in every way. _

I step out of the shower and reach for a fluffy towel. Drying myself I turn and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Staring back at me is the body of a woman, the body of a mother. I am not the same girl who fell into Christian's office. At least not in my eyes as I observe my nakedness, there is nothing to hide. I skate my hands over my body. My breasts have swollen and the skin on my stomach is loose and creased from where I carried Ted. Then there is the scar from my cesarean. I absent mindedly trace over it with my fingers. Christian assures me I am beautiful to him and that nothing has changed. Does he not see what I see? He never has I suppose. He sees me as beautiful and breath taking. I see my pale skin, my blue eyes too big for my face, my brown hair. I see nothing remarkable about me and now I see my body with these alterations from womanhood and motherhood. Sighing I finish drying myself and head to the closet to search for my clothes. I settle on a deep red button down dress. The buttons run from the collar to the bottom hem which hangs just below my knees. This will be functional should I need to feed Ted while we are out today. I take my panties and nursing bra from my top drawer and slip them on then my dress and I step in my flats. I am ready to head to my 6 week postpartum appointment with Dr. Greene.


	2. Chapter 2

*as always I do not own these characters.*

I find Christian waiting for me in the great room with Teddy tucked into his car seat carrier; a sage green receiving blanket loosely covering his little legs. Its summer but the air is damp today.

"I'm all ready to go. You two ready?"

"Yes." He bends down and nuzzles my hair. "I can't wait for tonight Mrs. Grey." I smile shyly up at him. I know what he speaks of and I know he is dying to get the green light from Dr. Greene to touch me again.

As I finish dressing Dr. Greene sits down with her notepad and pen. "You are healing well Mrs. Grey. Do you have any concerns or questions? How is breastfeeding going?" Stepping back into my shoes I sit down in the chair next to her.

"Breastfeeding is going very well. Teddy is a good little eater." _How can I tell her about my feelings where my self image is concerned? Should I even mention it to her?_

Dr. Greene seems to sense immediately that I am holding something back from her. "Mrs. Grey that is good to hear. How are you doing though?" She emphasizes _you_.

I shift nervously in my chair. Out with it Ana, tell her how you feel. "I'm doing fine I guess. I'm…I'm just. Oh I don't know. It's just that things are different now. I'm tired all the time with taking care of Ted and then having to recover from the surgery I just haven't felt like well, _me_ for a long time it seems." There I've said it.

"Your body has been through many changes in the past 11 months Mrs. Grey. What you are feeling is quite normal. What you need to do is give yourself sometime to adjust and recover. Medically and physically speaking you are doing very well but to be tired both physically and emotionally is normal. You need rest. Take care of yourself as well as Ted. You must remember to take care of you though. If you are tired take breaks and try to avoid stress. Stress can have adverse effects on your milk supply."

Time for me, yes I need that.

"As far as any physical activity goes I am giving you the all clear to resume your normal daily lifestyle," Dr. Greene smiles.

I blush, I am sure she is talking about sex. Ok here it goes… "I'm not sure I feel up to it though. Is that normal?"

"Mrs. Grey it is perfectly normal to not feel ready for sexual activity yet. Do not feel the need to rush into anything. As I said before, give yourself time. Your body has been through many changes."

"Thank you Dr. Greene. I feel better hearing this. I also need to ask you about birth control. I would like to go back on the pill." Yes, I definitely need birth control, no more babies for a while.

"I can prescribe a pill which will be safe for you to take while you are breastfeeding."

She writes a script down for me and hands it to me. "Be sure to make your next annual appointment on your way out and call if have any questions or concerns."

"I will thank you." I take the script from her hand and leave. I feel better having spoken with Dr. Greene about my concerns. I am not sure how I am going to broach the subject with Christian though. I love him and I know he loves me and wants to demonstrate that to me again, and soon. I am just not sure if I am ready.

I walk back out into the waiting room. "Ready for some lunch Mrs. Grey?" Oh, we are going out? I had thought we would just go back home. "Sure." Actually I am starving. I thought after having Ted my appetite would return to normal but the demands of nursing have made sure that didn't happen. Christian picks up Ted's carrier and the three of us head out to the SUV. As we drive through Seattle I think of how peaceful and natural this seems; just the three of us, our little family unit, driving and going out for lunch. I can't help the smile that plays on my face. Christian seems to mirror my expression and feelings. He reaches over and squeezes my knee.

"How was your appointment?"

"Fine. Dr. Greene told me I have recovered well and can resume regular activities. She also gave me a script for birth control pills."

His eyes dart to mine with concern. "Is that safe for Teddy?"

"Yes. She was sure to give me a prescription which is safe for breastfeeding mothers."

He relaxes, "Good. We can go get that filled after lunch."

He pulls up to a small sidewalk bistro and gets out of the car coming around to my side he opens my door. As I get out he reaches for Ted in the back. "Leave his carrier Christian I will put on my wrap and wear him. I'm sure he's going to want to eat soon." Once I have my wrap on Christian hands Ted to me and I adjust him so that he snuggled against me. His little eyes are still closed as he sleeps soundly. Even amongst the sound of people talking and traffic passing by. The rain has stopped and sun is beginning to peak through the clouds, it is slowly turning into a beautiful summer day. Christian wraps his arm around my waist and we walk in the bistro door.


	3. Chapter 3

*I do not own these characters. All rights go to EL James.*

We are seated in a small corner booth. The bistro is warm with rustic red walls and smart black furniture. A few large oil painting depicting European sidewalk cafés adorn the walls. The atmosphere is serene with soft music playing and a candle flickering in the petite frost glass lamp which sits on a black and white checkered linen table cloth. The waiter comes to take our drink orders. "Sparkling water with a wedge of lemon for both of us please," says Christian and the waiter disappears.

"What would you like to eat Mrs. Grey?"

"I think I will have the warm summer pasta salad. The fresh vegetables in it sound delicious."

When the waiter returns Christian orders salmon with asparagus for himself and the pasta salad for me.

"I've missed this." I murmur to him.

"Missed what?" He asks cocking his head to one side, gray eyes shining at me with love.

"Us being together, I've been so tired and busy with Ted. I've missed you." And it's the truth. I love my baby boy more than life itself but I have missed my husband. I have missed Christian and Ana.

"Me too." He takes my hands in his across the table and strokes my knuckles with his fingers. "It is nice to be out together again Ana. Watching you with Ted, it makes me love you even more. More than I ever thought possible. I didn't know I could love you more than I already did but I do." His eyes are earnest; I know he is speaking from the depths of his soul. I feel tears prick the back of my eyes.

"Oh Christian, I feel the same every time I see you with him," my voice is almost a whisper.

Teddy begins to stir against me and his clear gray eyes open to gaze at my face. I hear him make a few grunts and I know he is hungry.

"I need to feed Ted. Will you hand me one of his blankets?" Christian reaches into the bag and hands me a green receiving blanket which I drape over my front.

"Here?" I can hear a twinge of panic in his voice.

"Christian he's hungry. I'm covered." I reason quietly with him. He nods and smiles. I sigh inwardly; I was worried about how Christian would feel in regard to me nursing in public. I quickly unbutton my dress and my bra putting Ted to my breast. He nurses quietly and contentedly. I catch Christian smiling adoringly at me when I look up at him.

The waiter returns with our lunch and I am so hungry. Nursing Ted does that me, makes me hungry and thirsty. It is then I realize I have already drunk my entire glass of water. The water returns once more briefly to refill our glasses then disappears again. I can tell by his nervous glances and quick retreat that he is a bit uncomfortable with my nursing Ted. Well let him be. Ted has a right to eat his lunch too. Christian and I enjoy our meal and each other's company. My salad is mouthwatering with warm penne pasta coated in olive oil and shaved parmesan, tossed with fresh roasted vegetables. We talk about his work, going to visit his parents, and how things at Grey's Publishing are going in my absence. It feels good to have this casual time together. The fleeting thought of when I will go back to work crosses my mind but I decide not to bring it up. As much as I yearn to go back I am not sure if I am up to it yet.

Once we have finished our meal I take Ted to change him while Christian pays. When Ted and I return to the table we make our way back out to the SUV. Christian puts Ted in his seat and I get in. We are quiet on the way home, basking in the bliss of the day. I feel Christian's hand grasp mine. As he rubs his thumb to and fro over my knuckles that familiar but almost forgotten feeling resonates deep in my belly. Maybe it is the beautiful day we have shared as a family or maybe it is because it has been so long but I feel that pull toward Christian. I gasp softly turning my eyes up to his smoldering gray gaze. He puts my hand to his lips and grazes it softly with kisses. "I love you Mrs. Grey. I want you so much." His voice is deep and soft. I swallow and smile shyly at him. Looking ahead I continue to hold his hand the entire way home. I need this man like I need air to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4

***I hope everyone is enjoying my story. My goal is a positive mood for the story. I want to show normalcy and how Christian and Ana are adapting to their new roles as parents and life as a family. I am also wanting to go into more detail about The Big House. Please let me know what you think. As always I do not own these characters.***

I spend the rest of the afternoon exhausted from our day out. This has been our first real day out since Ted's arrival. Christian has insisted that any visitors come to the house to see us instead of us going to see them. I put Teddy in his crib after changing him and make my way to bed myself, I need a nap. Christian is down in his study working. Idly I think about the day before drifting into a restful sleep. I feel Christian's lips on my forehead stirring me from my slumber. "Hey sleepy head, are you going to wake up?"

"What time is it?" I ask rubbing my eyes.

"It's nearly 6 o'clock. Mrs. Jones has dinner ready. Do you want me to bring it up to you or would like to eat downstairs?"

"I'll come down. Let me check on Ted."

I swing my legs out of bed and walk down the hall to the nursery. Ted is awake, bright eyed and gurgling to himself. He is such a quiet and sweet baby. Everyone including me has been amazed by his tranquil disposition. I lift him into my arms and make my way to the changing table. Talking to him I change his diaper and refasten his footed outfit with yellow and green ducks on it. "There you go sweet baby boy. Mommy's got you." I pick him up and make my way to the rocking chair; adjusting myself and Ted so that he can eat his dinner before I go to eat mine.

As Ted is finishing I hear a knock on the door. "Come in," I call.

Mrs. Jones walks into the room. "Mrs. Grey would you like for me to take Teddy so you can go eat your dinner?"

"Sure Gail, Thank you." She takes Teddy from my arms. "I'll be back to bathe him after I've eaten."

"Yes Ma'am." She smiles and turns to Teddy. "We are going to have playtime aren't we big boy?"

I make my way downstairs to the kitchen where Christian is pouring himself a glass of wine at the island. "What would you like to drink Mrs. Grey?"

"Milk please." I would love to enjoy a glass of wine too I pout to myself. I know Christian would not like it at all if I did though. Dr. Greene has said that one every now and then is ok but he will hear nothing of it.

We sit down at the circular kitchen table made from a subtle golden distressed wood, tucked in the corner of the room by the bay window. The bright summer sun illuminates the kitchen through the large window over the sink. I love this room; it is probably my favorite room in the house. The walls are simple and white as are the cabinets. The back splash is made from ceramic tiles. They are an earthy brown color mixed with delicate tans and shades of white. In the center of the room is a large square shaped island made of white wood but edged in the same distressed wood which the kitchen table is made of. On the back side of the island are four matching wooden spindle chairs. The counter tops and top of the island are a smooth slate stone colored in blues and grays. There is a large wood burning fireplace on the wall behind the island. A pronounced white mantle is above the fireplace and the pepper pictures we bought on our honeymoon hanging above it.

Dinner is quiet with the exception of the birds singing outside. Mrs. Jones has opened the window and I hear their sweet songs as well as the wind blowing in the trees. I am enjoying my spaghetti carbonara and sautéed green beans fresh from the garden. Mrs. Jones has worked tirelessly in her garden all summer and the fruits of her labor are divine.

"Dinner was delicious," I say to Christian wiping my mouth. I didn't realize I was so hungry. I've actually finished my meal before him.

"Yes, Mrs. Jones has out done herself yet again." He agrees. "Ana I need to go to the office tomorrow. Roz and I have several meetings we need to attend. Would you like for my mom to come and help you with Ted?"

Christian has been mostly home with me since Ted was born. When he has gone to work he has never been gone a full day and Grace or Kate have been with me when he has not.

"There's really no need Christian. Ted and I will be fine. Mrs. Jones is here to help me if I need her."

"I know baby, I just hate being away from you two. I miss you both when I am."

"We miss you too but we'll be fine I promise. I will call you if I need anything."

"Good." He flashes a beautiful smile at me and my heart almost skips a beat.

I scoot my chair back and stand taking the dishes to the sink. "I need to go and bathe Ted."

"I'll come and help you." I feel his arms around my waist and his lips in my hair. Turning to face him I look into his eyes and caress his cheek with my hand. His lips move down to mine and he kisses me. I can't help but move my hands to his tousled hair and he deepens the kiss groaning softly. His hands move to the small of my back holding me to him. My legs feel weak and I have butterflies in my stomach. Oh what he does to me. When he breaks away I am breathless. "Come let's go bathe our son Mrs. Grey. Then I can have you all to myself later." He takes my hand and together we walk up the staircase.


	5. Chapter 5

*I love reading your reviews! Thank you all so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I do not own these characters, all rights go to EL James.*

Christian is cooing softly to Teddy has he kneels beside me at the bathtub. His long white shirt sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and he is washing his son. What are usually strong hands soften as they touch and caress Teddy's legs, arms and head. I adore watching him, the father of our child. He touches Teddy now with the same tender wonder as he did when he rubbed my pregnant belly not so long ago. My hand reflexively reaches down to touch my belly. Even though I know Teddy is here with us now I still wake sometimes and reach for my expectant belly. I miss feeling him move inside me. My thoughts wander to this morning in the bathroom and how I feel about the shape of my belly. I smile down at my son and move the unpleasant thoughts from my mind quickly. I do not want to taint this moment with melancholy.

"All done Ted, are you ready to dry off?" Christian reaches for the blue hooded towel hanging next to him and picks Teddy up wrapping him in its warmth.

"Are you coming Mommy?" He asks pulling me from my reverie.

"Right behind you Daddy," I reach down dumping the water from Teddy's tub and hang his wash cloth on the hook to dry.

Once Teddy is dressed Christian hands him to me. Taking my place in the rocking chair I allow him to nurse as I rock him to sleep. Christian sits on the floor at my feet watching me. He takes our sleeping son from my arms and tucks him in his crib. Before turning on his mobile and monitor he kisses his baby cheek and I hear him whisper, "Goodnight, sleep tight."

I yawn sleepily watching them.

"It's bedtime for you too Mrs. Grey," Christian puts his arm around my waist and we walk down the hall to our room.

"Bath?" Christian asks as we enter our vast bedroom.

"Yes please. I need to go take my mini pill first, I'll be there soon." Opening my purse on the bedside table I take the packet out and reach for my glass of water from earlier. Taking my cell phone out I set the alarm to sound at 9pm every day. This will remind me not to miss a pill.

Walking in the bathroom I find Christian leaning over the enormous tub pouring in a scented soap. Jasmine, I recognize the scent so well. The bathroom is warm with steam and enveloped with fragrance. I drink in the sight of my husband dressed only in his jeans now. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my body his lips finding mine. I whimper as my body responds to his touch. I feel his hands in my hair, moving down stroking my face, my arms and my breasts as he pulls my camisole over my head. My skin moist from the steam is pressed against his. He begins to leave soft kisses in the wake of where his hands have been. This is not the first time he has touched me since Ted was born, it is the first time for this intimate touch though. _Oh…I need him._

His hands move down over my belly and he sinks to his knees in front of me. The words are out of my mouth before I can think. "Christian, no please," I shrink away from his touch at my stomach embarrassed by what I have become there.

"Ana, what is it?" His voice is soft and laced with concern, his gray eyes stare into my blue.

"I just can't. Please not there." How can I make him understand how I feel?

"Have I hurt you? Please tell me what is wrong." He rises to his feet and strokes my cheek tenderly.

My bottom lip trembles. "Ana", he whispers and runs his thumb across my lip. "Please don't cry tell me."

"I'm just not the same as I was Christian. My belly looks hideous now, stretched and creased the scar. It's just too much for me to bear. And I'm so tired, exhausted even. I'm not the same." Tears begin to flow as I finally find the courage to speak what has been in my mind for weeks.

"You are beautiful Ana, all of you, every part of you."

I shake my head 'no' and my tears refuse to stop streaming down my cheeks. Silently Christian holds me in his arms, swaying me back and forth, soothing me. "Bath?" he finally asks again. I nod my head 'yes' and slipping off my sweat shorts I step in the bath. He joins me rubbing my legs and feet with his subtle hands. I know he is lost at my feelings but so am I. I can't find anymore words right now to express how I feel. We sit silently together in the bath for what seems like an eternity. Being with him like this helps, finally feeling that connection that has been suppressed for so long.

When I finally step out of the bath I wrap myself in one of the large towels hanging beside the shower. Christian follows suite and taking a smaller towel he begins to dry my hair.

"Please talk to me Ana. Tell me why you feel like this?" he pleads.

Moving to face him I sigh, "I feel overwhelmed Christian. So many things have happened; so many things have changed inside me, outside of me too. Sometimes I don't feel like the same girl I was before. The same girl you fell in love with."

"Things have changed Ana. We have grown together. I love you. You are a beautiful mother to Teddy. Being with you, having our family, it feels like more. All of the possibilities you had me dreaming of becoming my reality."

_More, _that word still holds so much promise when I hear his voice speak it. _More, _it was our beginning.

"Please Ana, let me love you." He kisses my lips tenderly, like a man who adores his wife.

"Yes," I breathe against his mouth.

"We'll take it slow. Anything you don't feel comfortable with tell me and I'll stop."

I nod slowly and he picks me up in his arms cradling me against him. His warm, strong, muscular chest, this is where I belong. This is where I want to be. My towel drops to the floor as he carries me from the bathroom as he gently lays me down on our bed and joins me.


	6. Chapter 6

***I love reading everyone's reviews. In this chapter I have continued the normal peacefulness but I hope to shake things up a bit soon. Let me know if you have any ideas of something you would like to see happen and I will take it into consideration. I am planning to take this at least up until their 1st wedding anniversary which is at the end of July.***

I lie content in Christian's arms feeling replete. He is running his fingers up and down my back. I sigh, "I love you Christian."

"And I you Ana, more than you will ever know." He turns on his side taking my face in both of his hands. "Please do not ever feel ashamed of your body Ana." His hands move down to my swollen breasts. "I love the changes here because you nourish our son, it is a miracle for me to behold." My breath hitches and his hands travel down to my belly. "I love you here because this is where you carried our son as he grew inside you. I marvel at how strong you are. At how strong your body is, to do what it has done, create a new life. Thank you for giving me our son Anastasia." _Oh my. _His words do what they always do to me. I feel the passion I have for him streaming through my body. I raise my lips to meet his and soon we are lost in each other again.

When I awake the next morning the room is blanketed in the muted light of early dawn. I rub my eyes and glance at the alarm clock, six o'clock. Ted only woke to nurse one time during the night and I feel rested. Christian is wrapped around me and breathing deeply. I hate to wake him but I can hear Ted beginning to whimper over the monitor. Slowly I try to climb out of bed careful not to wake my sleeping husband but I fail.

His eyes open to meet mine. "Good morning Mommy." He smiles.

"Good morning Daddy. Our son is awake; I need to go to him."

"Stay here. I'll go bring him to you before I have my shower." Standing Christian slips on his pajama pants, they hang in that way. _Oh._

A few moments later he returns holding my little man. "All changed and ready for breakfast Mommy."

"Come here my sweet boy. Did you sleep well last night?" I take him in my arms and he latches to my breast immediately. "You were hungry weren't you sweet boy?" I ask him stroking his little hand with my fingers. He grasps my hand and holds my index finger tightly. My little blip, he melts my heart.

Watching me and Ted with affection Christian asks if I want anything to eat or drink. "I would love a banana and milk thank you." I smile back at him.

"Coming right up Mommy," He says and disappears going downstairs to the kitchen.

The morning has gone by pleasantly. Christian left for work just four hours ago; he has already called once and emailed me three times to check on us.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Missing You Two

**Date: **July 10 2012 12:08

**To: **Anastasia Grey

I am still missing you my beautiful wife and son. I hope your day is going well. I will be home by 5 o'clock.

Christian Grey

Completely in Love CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

**From: **Anastasia Grey & Teddy

**Subject: **We miss you too Daddy

**Date: **July 10 2012 12:13

**To: **Christian Grey

We both are doing fine. Teddy is helping Mommy bake some bread. We can't wait to see you.

Love you xxx

Ana &Teddy

I love him. Downstairs I put Ted in his swing on the kitchen island.

"Do you want to help Mommy cook Teddy?" He is up from his nap and his bright gray eyes watch me intently as I move about the kitchen.

I have loved having Gail here to cook for me these past few weeks but today I feel like being in my kitchen. Opening the window I let the warm summer breeze float in then turn to grab the ingredients I need for a loaf of honey wheat bread. As I knead the dough I find myself humming and realize this is another normal moment with my son. Do I want to go back to work? Yes, of course I do but when? I miss my job but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be away from Ted for long periods of time yet. Covering the bowl with a damp cloth I set it aside to rise.

"Mommy's ready for lunch sweet boy, are you?" I lift him out of his swing just as Gail walks in the room.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Grey. Would you like some lunch?"

"Yes, I'll go and feed Ted then come back down. The bowl on the counter has bread dough resting in it." I point with my chin in the direction of the bowl.

"When does it need to go in the oven?"

"No worries, I'll take care of it Gail. Will you just put together a sandwich for me? I won't be long."

Teddy naps for most of the afternoon. It is around four o'clock when he wakes up. The afternoon is warm and lovely outside. I put my wrap on and adjust Teddy next to my chest. "Let's go outside baby." I coo to him and touch his face.

I sit in one of the large chairs on the stone patio outside of the great room. The breeze and sun warm my body and my soul. Today has been pure heaven. I let my eyes gaze out over the sound. The summer flowers dot the grassy meadow and sway in the wind, each one doing its own delicate dance. I shield my eyes and watch the boats sailing over the clear, cold waters. Teddy makes faint gurgling sounds and blows bubbles on his tiny pink lips. He begins to fuss and I stand to sway him. Moving back and forth in a mother's dance as old as time I soothe my baby boy. I begin to sing to him a lullaby I remember from my childhood.

_Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep my little baby.  
When you wake you shall have  
All the pretty little horses.  
Black and bays, dapples, grays,  
All the pretty little horses.  
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep my little baby.  
Hush-a-bye, don't you cry,  
Go to sleep my little baby.  
When you wake you shall have  
All the pretty little horses._

When I finish I begin to hum the tune but hear a faint clicking sound behind me. I turn to see Christian with his camera. The camera I gave him on our honeymoon. I give him my shy smile and he beams back at me.

"So picturesque Mrs. Grey, I could not help myself."

Ted has quieted and gazes up at me with a serene face. "We missed you today Daddy."

Christian sets the camera on the stone table and moves towards us. "I missed you both today." He puts his fingers on my chin and kisses my lips tenderly. "A walk Mrs. Grey?" he holds his hand out to me.

"With you, always Mr. Grey." I place my hand in his and feel him squeeze it. He lifts it and brush his lips across the back. Then together we walk through the meadow.


	7. Chapter 7

***I do not own these characters. All rights go to EL James. I'm so glad you all are enjoying this story!***

I am jostled from sleep for the third time tonight by Teddy's cries over the monitor. My bedroom is still cloaked in darkness with only the insipid light from the half-moon hanging over the water casting dim shadows. Glancing at the clock I see it is only two in the morning. I feel Christian stirring next to me. "I hear Ted Ana, I'll fetch him." He mumbles sleepily and rubs his face. Teddy is usually a perfect sleeper. Deep inside I wonder if something might be wrong, it is not like him to wake this frequently at night.

"There, There son, look see here's Mommy." Christian comes back with a screaming Ted in his arms.

"Was he wet?"

"Not really, but I changed him anyway."

Taking Ted in my arms I look down at him and try to soothe him. "You can't be hungry again can you little man? Surely not. Christian will you get me his drops? Maybe his belly is hurting. Is your tummy hurting sweet boy?" I nuzzle him but his crying does not cease.

After giving him his drops I try walking with him, swaying him, singing to him, nothing suffices his crying.

"Try feeding him again baby." Christian strokes Ted's head as I sit back on the bed next to him. I slip the strap of my night dress down and help Ted latch to my breast. He suckles immediately but cries out and stops turning his face away from me. I pick up his pacifier from my night stand and urge him to take it. Finally he does and seems to drift off. "I don't want to put him back in his crib tonight Christian. Will you bring his bassinet in? I'd like to keep him beside me tonight."

"Sure baby."

Ted sleeps fitfully next to me for the remainder of the night. My senses are on constant alert for his crying and by morning I have had little to no sleep. When I awake I notice that Christian is not in bed but Ted is finally sleeping soundly. Getting to my feet I decide on a quick shower before he wakes. After my shower I quickly dry my hair and wrap my robe around me, anxious to get back to Ted. I find that Christian has changed him and is coming back in the room with him.

"Here let me feed him."

"Are you hungry?"

"Banana and milk please." I don't know why but that has been my choice for most mornings. My body craves it.

Taking Ted I open and my robe and put him to my breast. He latches quickly and I whimper from pain. What was that? I feel a burning pain in my breast as Ted nurses, it is almost unbearable. Walking back in the room Christian sees my face. "Ana what is it? Are you ok?" He asks concern etched on his face.

"No. This hurts Christian. Feeding Ted hurts. I don't know what's wrong." I hear panic in my voice. This has never happened before. I need to feed my baby, he is hungry but I cannot tolerate this pain, this burning in my breast. Pulling Ted away from my body I notice white spots inside his mouth, he is wailing again. Is he hungry or is he in pain like me?

"We need to call Mom Ana, something is wrong." Christian's voice is urgent and I know he is scared.

He grabs his cell phone from the bedside and dials Grace. Wandering to the other side of the room I hear him telling her about our sleepless night. He nods and turns to me, "Have you had any other pain Ana?"

"No not really, not until now. My skin seemed dry yesterday so I applied some lanolin."

I hear him relaying the information back to Grace. He is pacing back and forth, barefoot on the dark wood floor. The morning sun beams shine and reveal worry etched on his face. Nodding once more I hear him say, "Thank you Mom. Yes, see you soon. Bye."

Sitting back on the bed beside me he caresses Teddy's face. "Mom believes you and Ted have thrush. She says it's nothing you did wrong; it is a yeast infection that happens to nursing moms and babies sometimes. We need to call Dr. Greene as soon as the office opens. You will need an antibiotic as well. Mom will be over soon to check on Ted."

"How do I feed him until then?" I look down into the pitiful sad face of my baby boy. I need to feed him.

"Let me make some formula for him Ana. Mom says we can feed him with a syringe but to avoid bottles so as not to cause nipple confusion."

I nod my head resigned, I am exhausted, sore and I know my baby is hungry.

Thankfully Ted drinks from the syringe. "Let me take him baby, I will finish feeding him you need to rest."

"Don't you work today?"

"I'm not going anywhere until I know you and Ted are ok." He takes Ted from my arms and calmly coaxes him to nurse from the syringe.

After examining both Ted and I Grace determines that we both do indeed have thrush. "I'll call in an antibiotic for Ted. You'll need to rub his antibiotic on your nipples Ana, every time you nurse him for the next week. I can let Dr. Greene know I have given you the medication but you'll still need to call her office and let her know what has happened." My apprehensive gaze meets her eyes. She smiles warmly and takes my hands. "Ana, you did nothing wrong, this happens. You will both be fine. I'll go and give this script to Christian so he can get the medication for you. In the meantime rest. Do you want me to stay with you today?"

"No, it's ok Grace. Kate is due to come over later; we have wedding plans to talk about. We'll be fine."

Kate is coming for lunch; she is bursting with excitement about her impending wedding day. We have one month left before the big day and so much left to plan. I was grateful when she decided to hold off until after Ted was born to have the wedding. Otherwise I would have been as big as a house in my matron of honor dress. I just hope I can keep my eyes open this afternoon and not fall asleep on her. Ted has fallen asleep in my arms. Gradually I lay him down in his bassinet next to my bed then lay down myself. I'm just beginning to drift when Christian comes in.

"Hey there my sweet girl," he talks softly to me and kisses my forehead. "I've sent Mrs. Jones out with the prescription for you two."

I yawn and nod my head. "Sleep now beautiful girl. I'll wake you for breakfast later." I try but can no longer keep my eye lids open, they are too heavy.


	8. Chapter 8

***I was kinda iffy about writing Kate, let me know what you think***

Three hours of extra sleep makes me much more rested. I yawn and stretch then lean over to check on Ted. Discovering that he is not in his bassinet, I walk down the stairs in search of him and Christian. I find them in the kitchen, Ted in his swing and Christian at the stove.

"Cooking Mr. Grey?" I raise an eyebrow at him and cock my head to the side.

"Eggs and toast Mrs. Grey. Are you hungry?" He beams his heart stopping smile at me.

"Famished, and how are you little man?" I turn my attention to Ted. Sitting in one of the spindle chairs at the island I talk to Ted and push his swing back and forth while Christian puts the finishing touches on my breakfast.

While I eat Christian explains the medication his mom prescribed to me. I must remember to use the Nystatin after each feeding and allow air to heal me whenever possible. It should also be applied to Ted's mouth several times a day as well. Apparently moisture is what causes and worsens the thrush. I am relieved to know that I can continue to breastfeeding Ted. I know I will need to begin pumping soon in preparation for returning to work but it is imperative to both Christian and I that Ted be exclusively breast milk fed and I want to provide it solely from my breasts for as long as possible.

After I finish breakfast Christian helps me apply the medicine to Ted's mouth and my breasts so that I can feed him. After some coaxing Ted finally latches and eats. Relief floods through me. I have acetaminophen I can give him if need be but for now at least he is eating well. Once he is sure his son and I are fine Christian departs for work. Promising he will only be gone a few hours and that Gail is here should I need anything before Kate arrives.

At 1:30pm I hear the doorbell ring. Taylor steps into the great room, "Ms. Kavanagh is here Mrs. Grey."

"Thank you Taylor." He steps aside and turns to go to his office.

Kate walks into the room all tight white jeans, pink tank top, perfect hair and bubbling with excitement. She grabs me into a hug, "How are you doing Mommy?" She says with her glowing Kate smile.

"We're doing well," I hug her back. "Grace had to come over this morning. Ted and I have a nasty case of thrush but we are both improving. Did you bring your planning book?"

"Got it right here matron of honor," she holds up her pink wedding planner.

"Well let's go down our check list and see what we still need to get accomplished. Would you like some lunch? Mrs. Jones has made chicken salad croissants and a fruit salad with yogurt dressing for us."

"Sounds scrumptious! Can we move to the kitchen to work?" She asks.

"Sure." We head to the kitchen. "Gail we'll eat and work in here. Do you mind checking on Ted for me?"

"Not at all Mrs. Grey. Let me know if you ladies need anything."

"We will. Thank you."

I make Kate and I's plates then we sit and eat. We spend the afternoon discussion final fittings, vows, music and menus. Kate's and Elliot's wedding is sure to be the social event of the year in Seattle. They will be married at The First United Methodist Church in Seattle on August 4th at noon. The church is magnificent and has a historic charm. When she chose the venue we visited and she immediately fell in love with the intricate wood work, stained glass windows and the deep red carpet running down the aisles. She has picked a deep burgundy and crisp white as her colors, her flowers are simply roses. So refined, so Kate. The reception will follow at the Grey's home and her parents have spared no expense making sure their baby girl only has the best.

Closing the book Kate turns to me, "So, how have you and Christian been doing? I know having a new baby can be stressful." Leave it to Kate to go straight for the gold.

"He is so helpful and attentive Kate, to both Teddy and I. He has been amazing. I could not ask for a more thoughtful and wonderful husband." I grin at her. I know she and Christian have not always seen eye to eye and spend most of the time on the outs with each other. But to her credit she smiles and grabs me in another hug.

"I'm so happy for you Ana. Now let's go see that sweet baby. Auntie Kate has been missing his sweet little face."

"He looks like you and Christian, Ana. He is so perfect." Kate is holding Teddy in her arms, playing with his little hands. "You are getting so big Mr. Teddy, yes you are. You need to stop growing so fast. Auntie Kate can't shop fast enough for your clothes."

"Oh, Kate," I giggle at her. "Don't listen to a word she says Ted. Auntie Kate never minded a little extra shopping time."

She beams at me, "Well your Mommy got me Ted. She's right; I'm going to spoil you rotten."

I lay Ted's baby mat on the floor and Kate puts him down for some tummy time. We sit cross legged by him, playing and talking to him until he begins to whimper to eat.

"Time to eat sweet boy," I declare picking him up.

"Do you prefer that I leave Ana?"

"No need Kate, unless you want too."

"I'll stay," she smiles.

"Good. You know, one day soon this might be you."

"Oh no, not yet," she laughs nervously. "I don't think Elliot is ready to be a father and I'm not sure I'm mommy material yet."

I take her hand with mine. "When you two are ready Kate I know you will both be wonderful parents. Christian and I…" my words falter. "We weren't ready when the news that Teddy was coming came. I was scared, he was terrified. My getting pregnant that soon after being married was not planned." The words tumble out. I have never shared with anyone what occurred when we first learned about little blip.

"Ana…" Kate whispers. I know she is shocked by my revelation. "I thought when you told everyone that it was early but I never knew…"

"I was on the shot. It failed. Christian went solar when I told him. He walked out on me." I swallow hard. "When everything happened and I was put in the hospital, I was newly pregnant then. We had just found out and we weren't speaking."

Kate's face is pale with realization. "Christian was so terrified, petrified even before you woke up. I expected that but it was to an extreme extent. Now I know why."

I nod at her. "Once I woke up we talked, we talked a lot. Things began to improve slowly. Christian worked so hard to accept things the way they were with blip on the way. It was something beyond his control and not in his immediate plan. Teddy is a miracle though." I look down at my baby gently nursing. "He has been a beacon of hope for both of us. He showed Christian pure, unconditional love; how to give it and how to receive it. Christian and I are completely in love with him. I could not imagine my life without him now. So, whenever your little bundle of joy comes along Kate. I know you will be a wonderful mother."

She reaches for both of my hands. "I love you best friend, sister." She chokes out.

"Ditto sis."


	9. Chapter 9

***Quick question...I cannot see my story when I go to the 'Fifty Shades Trilogy' section of . I see other stories but I can never see mine. I can see it when I click on the direct link in emails though. Where are you all seeing it at? And thank you for reading!"**

Lying in bed that night while running his long fingers through my hair Christian asks me how my day was with Kate.

"Oh you know how Kate is. She is effervescent with excitement about her wedding."

I feel his smile against the crook of my neck. "Yes, Kate and Elliot, sometimes I still can't fathom it."

"Christian be nice!" I scold him playfully.

Turning to face him I adopt a more serious face. "Spending today with Kate, it brought to my mind something I have been pondering for a while."

"Oh?"

"I would like to ask Kate and Elliot to be Teddy's Godparents." Gazing into his eyes I search for some kind of response to my declaration. He is quiet for a few moments before he speaks.

"That's a wonderful idea Ana. I concur whole heartedly. I couldn't think of two better people to help look after our son."

He strokes my face, "You think of everything Mrs. Grey. What would I ever do without you?"

"Well, there's good news Mr. Grey. You don't ever have to think about that because you will never be without me. "

He shifts and his lips hover above mine. I lift my face to meet his and he kisses me deeply. His tongue persuades my lips to part and moves with mine. His taste, his smell, his passion, my senses acutely drink all of him in.

Breathing intensely he breaks away. "Good because I will never get my fill of you." His voice is low and husky. Kissing my lips once more, gently, he murmurs, "Let's sleep now Mrs. Grey. Our son will wake us soon."

"Are you sure?" I rub against him suggestively.

He laughs. _Oh I love that sound._ "I see Sex Mad & Insatiable Mrs. Grey is back. Yes, I'm sure. You've had a busy day and did not sleep well last night. I'll get you later, I promise."

"I will be holding you to that promise Mr. Grey." I half pout at him.

"I know you will. Sleep well my beautiful wife." He kisses me once more then lies down, pulling me to him, my back to his front.

Thursday is an uneventful day. Ted and I stay home, still recovering from the thrush but both improving. Christian goes to work, promising not to be gone long but I know he will probably work the whole day. Taylor has gone with him, something about Christian having meetings to attend at several different locations today. I'm sure he will be visiting Grey's Publishing and it makes my heart long for work. My subconscious and I begin to devise a plan; if I'm not ready to go back to work completely yet then perhaps work can come to me. Gail is with me during the day to help with Ted, and I long to read and edit manuscripts again. I miss my job. I can't help but miss professional Ana too. It would be nice to have a reason to do my hair, dress nicely and not be frumpy all the time. At dinner tonight, that is when I will address this with Christian. That way if he isn't terribly thrilled with the prospect he will have time to cool off before dinner at his parent's home on Saturday.

After putting Teddy down for his afternoon nap I check my blackberry and find an email from Christian.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Late Tonight

**Date: **July 12 2012 13:15

**To: **Anastasia Grey

Baby I am going to be late coming home tonight. Work has been hectic today. I will see you around 9. I'm so sorry. I miss you two.

X

Christian Grey,

Missing my Wife & Son CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

My heart sinks a little reading his email. This does give me the opportunity to have him to myself this evening though. Ted will be in bed already when he gets home. Perhaps I can have Gail whip up something special for dinner.

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Special Plans

**Date: **July 12 2012 13:18

**To: **Christian Grey

We will miss you dear husband but I think I can make it worth your wait. See you at 9.

ILY xxx

Anastasia Grey

My phone pings almost instantly. Grinning to myself I quickly respond. My inner goddess who has been scarce for weeks now nods in agreement. I know I've got his attention.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **You have me intrigued…

**Date: **July 12 2012 13:23

**To: **Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey, just what exactly are you up to?

Christian Grey

Curious CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Tut tut

**Date: **July 12 2012 13:28

**To: **Christian Grey

Mr. Grey I'm not telling so stop begging. You will just have to wait to find out.

xxx

Your, Ana

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: **Little vixen

**Date: **July 12 2012 13:33

**To: **Anastasia Grey

Mrs. Grey you are incorrigible.

Christian Grey

In Anticipation for Tonight CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I hug myself and smile. Maybe can I not only talk with him about working from home but maybe I can finish what we started last night. My inner goddess gives me a high five and I scurry downstairs in search of Mrs. Jones.


	10. Chapter 10

***Adding a little spice here ladies. Let me know what you think.***

Leaning over the kitchen table I light the two long taper candles I have set out. Mrs. Jones is putting the finishing touches on the dinner she has prepared for Christian and I.

Watermelon and Che'vre Salad with goat cheese, oranges, basil, arugula and a lime vinaigrette. Herb Roasted Chicken Breasts with fresh roasted vegetables, roasted new potatoes and a pan au jus. Dessert is an orange and almond bread pudding topped with crème anglaise and a white chocolate garnish.

I expect him home any minute now. Stopping to check my reflection in the hall mirror I comb my fingers through my hair, adjust my chocolate brown wrap dress and pinch my cheeks for a little color. Perfect. Moving to the iPod dock I set it to play my favorite Jim Brickman piano instrumentals. The first notes of 'Your Love' fill the hall, great room and kitchen. Mrs. Jones was surprised when I picked the kitchen for dinner tonight; she'd thought I would have rather us sat in the dining room. The kitchen was my choice though. We always sat at the kitchen bar when we first were together at Escala. The kitchen feels more us, more intimate.

She has set the table and put our salads out. "The chicken and dessert are in the warmer Mrs. Grey. Do you need anything else?"

"No thank you, this looks wonderful. I appreciate it so very much Gail."

"Well, if that's all I'll go look in on Teddy. I have his monitor with me Mrs. Grey. I will let you know if he needs you."

I smile and thank her once again. At that moment I hear the front door opening, the voices of Christian and Taylor echo through the hall. Taylor's footsteps reverberate on the wooden floors as he makes his way to his office. Christian appears in the kitchen doorway and my heart stops; I can feel it in my throat.

"Candlelight and music Mrs. Grey, very romantic." He stalks me from across the room with graceful ease. He kisses me and murmurs against my lips, "I do believe you were right my incorrigible little vixen, this was worth waiting for." _Oh my. Will I make it through dinner?_

Finally I find my voice; I think it had hit the floor along with my stomach.

"Are you hungry Mr. Grey?"

"For food or other things?" His voice is low and seductive as he pulls my chair out for me. I am grateful to sit, I'm not sure my legs were going to hold me up for much longer.

Sitting down to eat Christian asks me how my day was and about how Ted is doing. We talk casually enjoying the delectable meal before us. He tells me about his visit to Grey's Publishing today. We are working to launch and eBook side of the business. Christian believes it will be very profitable and I agree. It was a relief to me when Roach approved my pitch to him on the subject just before my maternity leave began. I use this time to bring up my idea about my working from home.

"How were Claire and Hannah today? I ask taking another bite of my chicken.

"Good. They both send their regards."

"I miss them." He watches me intently so I continue. "I miss work."

Christian says nothing but takes a sip of his Champalou white wine, the brilliant light from the flames dance in his eyes. I know he's waiting for me to continue, intrigued by where I am going with this.

Taking a deep breath I continue. "I would like to work from home until I feel ready to go back full time. We could have one of the spare rooms upstairs set up as an office for me. That way I would be near Ted's nursery. My hours could be as few or as many as I want them to be. I could still be with Ted and work when he naps or when Mrs. Jones is with him."

"So you want to go back to work, how soon?" His tone gives nothing away.

I run my nails across the table, tracing the distressed wood grains. "I'm not really sure. I do know I am not ready to leave Ted yet."

Silences drapes across the room. I take another bite of my food trying to fill the uncomfortable void.

"Is this topic of conversation the reason for all of this?" He asks waving his hand, indicating the romantic dinner I had set for us.

"Partly," I hesitate. "I wasn't sure how you would feel about me wanting to work again."

"Ana," he takes my hand and holds my gaze. "I want you happy. I do wish you would stay home with Ted but I have always known you are ambitious in your work. It's one of the things I love about you. Yes, we can set a study up for you. Ana, I am your husband. You can ask me anything at any time." Turning my hand palm up he plants a warm kiss in the center of it. I feel it instantly connect in my groin. Biting my lip I stifle a moan.

At a loss for words I slowly nod my head yes.

"Don't bite your lip Mrs. Grey. I want to do that."

"Don't you want dessert first?" My voice sounds shaky with desperation.

"Yes, and I want it here. In the kitchen. Now." He rises from his chair and walks to the doorway pulling the heavy wooden pocket doors closed. _Oh my, we're going to christen the kitchen. _My inner goddess is already on the island naked and popping grapes in her mouth, waiting impatiently.

Christian pulls me to my feet and grasps the tie of my wrap dress, tugging it my dress comes undone. Cupping his face in my hands I feel the stubble, soft and rough at the same time. I pull his lips to mine and consume him with my kiss as he consumes me. His hands move over my body, feeling their way through familiar territory. He swallows my soft whimpers with his kiss and moves to nip my ear, trailing kisses down my neck. Suddenly he scoops me into his arms and carries me to the island, climbing up to join me his lips continue to travel down my body.

My breath is quick and staccato. "Christian…please." I whisper.

I feel his smile against my inner thigh. "Oh Mrs. Grey, you have only to ask."

I feel his mouth _there. _Running my fingers through his soft, unruly copper hair my body bows to his fervor. I am lost. Lost in the ecstasy that is my husband, making love to me.


	11. Chapter 11

I lie panting on top of Christian. My cheek pressed against his chest as my breathing returns to normal, the sound of his heart beat is drumming in my ear. For seconds, minutes, hours, I'm not sure which, neither of us says a word. The flickering flames from the candles are the only luminescent light in the room. Raising my head I stare into his placated gray eyes.

"Would you like to eat your dessert now Mr. Grey?"

"I just did Mrs. Grey, you were delicious." His voice is mysterious and seductive. _Oh, _a tingle runs down my spine.

"Would you like some bread pudding?" I ask grinning.

"Yes, but not here. I want you in our bed Mrs. Grey."

Hesitantly I move from my comfortable position. Christian helps me off the island and quickly slips his clothes back on, I follow suite.

Opening the warmer door I reach for the dessert. My eyes follow Christian as he moves toward the freezer.

"I have the dessert husband."

"I know. But I like _vanilla_ with my bread pudding." He reaches in the freezer and pulls out a pint of ice cream. Opening the drawer in front of him he takes a single spoon in his hand and places it in his mouth. I nearly convulse on the spot. _Oh my, Ben & Jerry's and Ana. _

"Come Mrs. Grey." He motions to me with his index finger as he opens the pocket doors.

I smirk as I follow him. "I'm sure I will Mr. Grey."

He flashes me his devastating white smile. "Oh I can guarantee that Mrs. Grey."

The pale light of the moon casts beams across our bedroom walls and floor, peaceful bliss. That's what this is. I sit between Christian's legs, my back to his sticky front. He is propped against our ornate mahogany headboard eating orange almond bread pudding. Sharing spoonful's with me.

"Hmmm…" I murmur appreciatively. "This is so good it should be considered sinful."

I sense his grin as he moves my hair aside and kisses my neck, softly nipping and nibbling me.

"I thought you wanted the ice cream with your dessert?"

"I rather enjoyed having it on you instead of the pudding. It tasted better on you." He nips my earlobe then feeds me another spoonful.

I could stay here with him like this forever. What a lavish evening it is turned out to be, perfect in every way.

"Last bite," his whispers and pops one more spoonful of dessert in my mouth. I look up and he kisses me gently on my lips. "I love you Mrs. Grey."

I answer him by turning my body so that I am facing him. I run my fingers through his soft chest hair and can't resist kissing him there. The clank of the spoon on the bowl sounds next to me as he sets it on the night stand. My lips find his and we are lost in each other's kisses again.

"You are ravenous tonight."

"Only for you husband." His moans low in his throat and almost crushes me to him.

"My Ana," he breathes.

All too soon our passion is interrupted by a cry over the baby monitor.

"That'll be our son Mr. Grey. Let me go check on him." I clamber up from the bed and grab my robe. "I'll be right back." With a quick peck on the lips I am gone.

"What it is little man?" I lift Ted in my arms and walk back to our room.

"What's wrong Ana?"

"Nothing he's just hungry. It's time to eat isn't it Ted?" Handing Ted to Christian I scoot back to the comfortable seat I had just left. I open my robe and Christian places him back into my arms.

Ted suckles hungrily at my breast making his usual soft grunts as he eats.

"I love this," I say sighing contentedly.

"Me too," Christian says mirroring my tone.

"You're not upset because Ted interrupted us?"

"Never, you and our son, I love you both more than life itself." I know he speaks the truth. Having Ted, It's like Christian has fallen in love with me all over again and I with him.

"Christian?"

"Hmmm…." He says kissing my hair and caressing Ted's face.

"I want to ask Kate and Elliot to be his God Parents when we are at your parents' house on Saturday." I'm looking forward to Saturday. It will be our first time taking Ted out to visit with family.

"Yes, we can."

"Good. And Christian…"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I know he is smiling and faintly he begins to sing to Ted. The same lullaby I sang to him a few days ago on the patio.


	12. Chapter 12

** I stretch my body, trying to ward off wakefulness** a little longer. I am comfortable lying in my bed. Hesitantly I open my eyes in the dim morning light I can see my son sleeping next to me. Ted is cradled in his father's arms. One of Christian's arms is over his tummy rising gently as he breathes and the other is cradled around his little head; after an early feeding our sweet baby boy wanted to stay with his Mommy and Daddy. Taking this rare occasion I drink in the sight of my two boys sleeping. Both are serene in their sleep, so much like each other. Today we are taking Ted on his first trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Grace and Carrick are completely in love with their first grandchild. Watching Grace with Ted and Christian tugs at my heartstrings. I know for her to share this time in her son's life with him is bliss. She glows every time she sees Christian and Ted. I slip out of bed, careful not to wake them. It's Saturday, Mrs. Jones is off and I want to make breakfast for my husband.

I decide on pancakes, bacon and eggs for breakfast. It has been so long since I indulged in what used to be my favorite breakfast. Placing the griddle on the stove top I turn it on and open the cabinets to collect my ingredients. The smile from watching my two boys sleep earlier still has not left my face. _Yes, you are a blessed woman_ my subconscious agrees with me. The idea of what my life has become never would have crossed my mind a little over a year ago, but now here we are. My life is paradise, what did I ever do to deserve this? I glance up from whisking my batter to see my beautiful husband and son standing in the door way.

"Good morning Mommy." Christian smiles. "We missed you when we woke up."

"I decided to make you breakfast before we get our day started." I beam back at him._ Will I ever not melt for this man? Is it normal to lust after ones husband the way I do mine?_ The question still lingers in my mind after all this time.

"Well it smells delicious Mommy." He says sauntering over to me. "And so do you." He purrs kissing me on the back of the neck.

Ted gurgles and coos. "Isn't Mommy pretty Ted?" Christian coos back to him and Teddy smiles at him. "Look at that smile Mommy. Did you see that?"

"Teddy did you smile at Daddy?" I tickle him under his chin and he beams at me. "Mommy needs to write this down in your baby book, doesn't she? Teddy's first smile, July 14th 2012."

I set about to finish making breakfast. Teddy looks on from his swing while we eat, gurgling and cooing at us the entire time.

"Ok mister, time for your breakfast. Daddy will you load the dishes?" I pick Ted up from his swing and hold him to me, slipping the strap from my night dress down, allowing him to nurse. "After you eat its bath time young man then off to visit Grandma and Grandpa."

"My Mom is so thrilled because we are coming today. She can't wait to spoil her grandson." I can hear the pride in Christian's voice; pride for his Mom because he loves her so and pride for his son because he is ours.

** After changing Teddy and dressing him** in his navy blue onesie shorts outfit I reach for his baby book on the shelf above his changing table. I inscribe today's date on the line next to _Baby's First Smile_. Briefly I scan through the album. Admittedly I haven't had much time to work on it. I'd only put in his hospital pictures, wrist band, prints and his birth certificate but as I thumb through the pages I discover much more as been added. The first few pages are covered with photographs of my belly as it grew each month. Smiling I remember Christian taking pictures of our hands covering my pregnant belly and of him kissing Ted from the outside of me. There are so many more though; pictures of me sleeping with my hands protectively resting on my expectant belly, pictures of Ted sleeping in my arms the day we brought him home, and finally the pictures he took of Ted and I dancing on the patio just a few days ago. My eyes well up with tears as my fingers run over the photographs.

"Your Daddy loves us so much my little Ted." I whisper to him in awe of the photographs. Ted gurgles back at me. I put the book away and scoop him up in my arms. "Let's go, off to see Grandma and Grandpa"

**When we pull up in front of the Grey's house** Ted has fallen fast asleep in the back of the SUV. "I'll get him Ana, will you get his bag?"

"Sure, just leave him in his seat. When he wakes I can put my wrap on."

Grace, Mia and Kate greet us at the door, the trio of baby lovers. They cannot wait to get their hands on him. "Oh let me see my Grandson." Graces eyes dance with glee.

"He's asleep Grandma," I smile at her and she grabs me in an embrace.

"It's so good to see you Ana. How are you feeling?"

"Good, thank you."

We all make our way in to the living area. I can see Carrick out on the patio grilling; Elliot and Ethan are with him.

"I think I'll go say hi to my Dad. Are you two ok?" Christian asks once I am seated on the couch.

"Sure, you go. We're good."

He bends down and gives me a quick peck on the lips. "Let me know if you need me."

I catch a glimpse of Graces affectionate smile as she watches her son tend to his wife and baby.

We all start chatting warmly and making conversation while Ted remains asleep in his carrier on the floor beside me.

"We were just talking about wedding plans." Kate beams at me. "We have our final fittings next Tuesday at 10, is that ok for you Ana?"

"Should be fine, Mrs. Jones can watch Ted for me if I need her to."

"Also, the girls at work are having a shower for me next Friday. I was wondering if you would be able to come."

"Sure. Just let me know the time and I'll be there."

Kate sighs, "Good."

I turn to Mia, "We need to discuss the final details about the party we are planning too." She gives me an exaggerated wink. Kate has no idea what we are planning for her bachelorette party. She is going to love it though. Kate loves clubs and has recently become a karaoke fool. Mia and I have rented a limo to drive the entire bridal party through downtown Seattle hitting the top bars and clubs for her bachelorette party. The entire bridal party is planning to stay at the Fairmont Olympic that night but I haven't broached that subject with Christian and I'm not sure that I want to be away from Ted anyway."

"I don't know what you two are up to but I wish you'd give me at least a hint." Kate grins at us.

"Just dress hot, way hot. That's all you need to know. Are you going to stay the night with us that night Ana? Please please please so yes." Mia turns to me winking once again.

"I'm not sure yet. I know Christian is going out with the guys and will be home late." I feel very uncertain about leaving Ted. Mrs. Jones would be with him while we are gone but I have never been away from him for more than an hour or two, I'm always back in time to nurse him.

"Ana," Grace says gently taking my hand. "I would love to keep him that night so you and Christian can enjoy the parties."

I look into her sincere eyes, a grandmother asking to watch her son. "I only hesitate for feeding purposes Grace." I say my voice soft and small.

"Have you considered using formula some Ana? Especially for you when you go back to work" Kate asks piping up.

"We feel very strongly about Teddy being breast fed Kate." My voice is firm and matter-of-fact.

"You could pump then you know?"

I love you Kate, please don't try to tell me how to feed my baby. Looking around I notice Grace and Mia are looking anywhere but at Kate and I. The tension I am feeling is obvious.

"Christian and I would rather him nurse from my breast for as long as possible. He's never had a bottle before. I know I'll have to do it someday soon but I'm just not sure when." Hopefully that will suffice her curiosity. I turn to Grace, hopefully putting this conversation with Kate to rest.

"I'll talk to Christian and let you know is that ok?"

"Of course Ana, it's important for the two of you to decide how you want to take care of your son. You're his parents; you both know what's best for him."

I can't help but think that what she said was not only directed at me but at Kate too. Sure my night out at her bachelorette party will be cut short due to Ted's feedings but he's my baby and I've got to put him first.


	13. Chapter 13

*Resurfacing some tension between Carrick and Christian, Christian and Ana, Carrick and Ana in this one. I am going somewhere with this, trust me.*

**Carrick comes in announcing that dinner is ready.** We all make our way outside to the patio. The Grey's have set a lovely outdoor dining table complete with fragrant lilacs and hydrangeas in tall glass vases. I put my wrap on and Mia helps me arrange my still sleeping Ted in the wrap. Under the bright afternoon sun we all enjoy a lovely meal of steaks with grilled onions, potatoes and asparagus. Carrick can grill a mean steak I think to myself as I slice another bite. Kate seems a little aloof towards me. I'm not sure if I'm just being paranoid or if she really is standoffish. Hoping it's the later I try my best to smile and participate in the lively conversation around the table. Idly I wonder if today is a good day to ask her and Elliot about being Ted's Godparents in light off the spat she and I had earlier. Christian doesn't know about it though and I'm not keen on bringing it up to him either. The last thing I need is one more mark against Kate in Christian's eyes.

Ted begins to fuss talking to him soothingly I try to calm him. He only quiets for a short time and begins to cry again. "Excuse me everyone." I stand from the table to go inside and tend to Ted.

"Do you need help baby?" Christian asks taking my hand.

"No, I'll be right back. He just needs to be changed and fed."

Walking through open French Doors I hear everyone's voices behind me. "Does Ana need a place to nurse Ted?" The voice is Graces.

"No Mom, she'll change him and come back to eat while he eats."

Silence, I hear a man's voice hushed say something else.

"Dad she wears a cover. Ana has a right to feed Ted." Christian's voice is coarse.

"Yes she does son but everyone at the table might not be comfortable with her doing so out here." This time I know who the voice belongs to, Carrick.

Burning tears well at the back of my eyes. I was so looking forward to today and now it's turning out to be dreadful. Kate bickering with me and now this with Carrick not wanting me to nurse Ted in front of everyone, I'm covered for heaven's sake!

"If Ana is comfortable with it and is decent then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks."

I dash away my tears with the back of my hand and pick Teddy up putting him back in my wrap. I know Christian is angry, so am I, angry and hurt. Looking behind me I see Christian standing to come inside. Quickly I grab my cover and head upstairs, I need to get away.

"Ana!" I hear him calling after me. I know I should stop but I just can't I need remove myself from this situation. "That's great Dad. She heard you and what you said!" I hear Christian shout at his father.

"Christian do not take that tone with your father" Grace admonishes him.

"To hell with this!" I hear Christian shout again as I slam the door to his bedroom upstairs.

My body is convulsing with sobs and I can't stop the shudders that are ringing through me.

I sit on the bed and burry my face in my hands. Quietly the door opens.

"Ana," his voice is laced with concern. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry you heard that. I'm so sorry for what my Dad said."

Sitting next to me on the bed he wraps me in his arms and I cry on his shoulder. Ted is crying too. Sniffling I wipe my nose with the back of my hand. "I need to feed Ted. I can't go back down there Christian. This day is not turning out the way I expected."

"Shhhhh…don't pay any mind to my Dad ok? He will apologize. I'm sure my Mom is setting him straight right now." His long fingers being making quick work of unbuttoning my white blouse. He hands me a handkerchief and unsnaps my bra, guiding Ted to my breast to nurse.

I lay my head back on his shoulder and feel his strong hands stroking my hair, soothing me. Slowly my sobbing subsides. My breastfeeding Ted is so important to Christian. He is supportive but also very avid that I nurse him directly from my breast. _ Why? _It is important to me to for bonding and because I know my milk is best for him but does it go deeper than that for my husband?I gaze into Christian's patient gray eyes as I ponder these thoughts.

"Maybe I need to start pumping so we can have bottles to bring with us." I blurt it out quickly, not putting my thought behind my words.

"Ana do not let my father's ignorance influence you that much."

"It's not just that. Kate wants me to stay the night at the Olympic after her bachelorette with the rest of the bridal party. I can't do that if I am exclusively nursing."

He regards me and waits for me to continue.

"I'll miss Ted like crazy but deep down I'd really like to go Christian." My voice is small; I am trying to gauge his reaction.

"We do not need to discuss this now." He's dismissing me.

"But Christian, I'll have to pump at some point when I go back to work and what about our Anniversary? Don't you want to go out just the two of us to celebrate?" I stare down at my knotted fingers. Ted is still nursing peacefully despite the turmoil in the room. "Your mom says she can keep Ted the night of the bachelorette."

"Anastasia I said we can discuss this later." He is still stroking my hair but his voice is firm. I have not heard this tone towards me in what seems like forever. _It's the bachelorette thing my subconscious rolls her eyes at me. He doesn't want you going to a bachelorette party, hello!_

Deep down I know she's right. _Oh, Christian please trust my decisions_. Life has been so perfect, our life is so perfect, too perfect perhaps.

Sighing I decide that I am not going to get anywhere right now with this. I will approach it again later.

"We can home now if you would like?" Christian says abruptly changing the subject.

Do I want to go home on this sour note with the family? No.

We hear a timid knock on the door. "Christian…Ana…" Graces worried words come through from the other side. "I don't want to interrupt you but please when you are ready I'd like to talk to you both."

Christian glances at me, "ok?"

"Please let your mom in Christian." I plead with him. I pull Teddy's blanket over my chest as Christian opens the door revealing Grace standing there, wringing her hands with a worried look on her face.

"I'm so sorry for what Carrick said Ana, I wish you hadn't heard that. I wish he hadn't said that."

"Dad needs to apologize to Ana himself, Mom."

"I know Christian and he will. Carrick is just very old fashioned and set in his ways. I'm not trying to justify what he said just trying to make you understand."

"There's nothing to understand Mom. Ted has the right to eat with the rest of his family." Christian is persistent; he is not budging on this.

"I agree with you son and I have spoken to your father. Please give him a chance to apologize."

Christian sighs resigned and waves his hands in the air. "It's Ana who he hurt; it's up to her if she would like to hear him out."

Grace turns her remorseful eyes to mine, still red from my earlier crying.

"When I am finished feeding Ted I will come back down." Grace breathes a sigh of apparent relief and moves toward me. "Ana dear I love you and Ted so much. Please always remember that. I am your biggest champion."

I smile kindly at her words straight from her heart.

"Ok I'll leave you three. Mia has made dessert and I know she doesn't want you to miss it." She smiles and walks out the door.

"My mother, the eternal peace keeper," Christian says turning to me.

"I suspect she has to be to keep the peace between you and your father." I am aware my voice sounds stern.

Christian's lips flatten into a firm line but he chooses to say nothing. I'm not sure I will ever find the courage to blatantly point it out to him but the way Christian reacts to his father is a huge catalyst. The way he overreacts only inflames his father further making Carrick all the more determined to make his son see things his way. Silently I hope the relationship between Christian and Teddy does not grow to be like he and Carrick's.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hesitantly with an uneasy** gnawing feeling in my stomach I step back in the family room, Christian's hand around my arm. My intention is to go back to the patio with the rest of the family but Carrick's voice calling my name stops me. We turn to see him standing in the doorway, his face his remorseful.

"Dad," Christian observes him sternly.

"Please son, will you have a seat. I need to talk with you both." Carrick motions towards the loveseat. We both sit. I can feel tension radiating from Christian's body; his muscles are tense and he draws me closer to him.

"What I said earlier…it was inappropriate and out of line." He begins.

"Yes it was." Christian's voice is gruff.

Laying my hand on Christian's I attempt to calm him.

"Ana, I meant no ill will towards you or Teddy. You both are a cherished part of our family. I realize my ideals are probably prehistoric in your mind's eye but I can't help the way I feel." He takes a deep breath. "I can and will however put them aside for my family."

Glancing up at Christian his face is still taut with anger. "My son has the right to eat with the rest of the family Dad."

"Yes Christian, I recognize that. When I was being raised though feeding babies was simply not done in the public eye unless it was from a bottle. I do respect you and Ana's choices for your son though and will not speak out against it again."

"Good."

"Thank you Carrick." My voice is small and shaky. I hate confrontations like this. I especially dislike the ones between my husband and his father. "Shall we go out and see what Mia has prepared?" I try to change the mood and the subject.

"Yes, let's," Carrick smiles at me and stands.

Christian lends me his hand to help me stand, I am still wearing Ted against my chest. Gazing down into his bright gray eyes an idea hits me. "Grandpa would you like to take your grandson out on the patio for me?" I ask him taking Ted out of my wrap.

"Of course," He beams at me and then at Ted. "Come here to Grandpa." Carrick holds his arms out supports Ted's head with his left hand pulling him close. "Let's see what your Auntie Mia has made for dessert."

Christian is watching the interaction between his father and I closely.

"Are you two coming?" Carrick turns back to us.

"We'll be there shortly." I smile at him reassuringly and he exits to the outside.

"You are astounding as ever Mrs. Grey. Your capacity for forgiveness never ceases to amaze me." Christian takes me in his arms, tilting my chin up with his fingers.

"I love your family Christian; it's as simple as that. Why wouldn't I accept his apology? We all make mistakes."

"Oh Ana…you still mystify me. Your capacity for love, your virtue, your empathy, my beautiful wife," He breathes the last three words against my lips. His kiss is tender, passionate and deep. He holds my body to his with one hand in my hair and the other on the small of my back. "I love you Mrs. Grey." His words are soft as he kisses my eyes and my cheeks. I give him my shy smile.

"Let's go have dessert." He takes my hand once again and leads me to join everyone on the patio.

It is dark when we leave the Grey's that evening. The disagreement between Carrick and Christian seemed to have only been a bump in the road. However, the moment to ask Kate and Elliot to be Godparents never presented itself. I could still feel resentment in the air from my friend, partly because of our initial conversation though I suspect Christian's outburst at Carrick only added fuel to the fire. We are quiet on the way home, each pondering our own thoughts. Ted is asleep, no doubt exhausted from his afternoon of play with Mia, Kate, Elliot and Ethan. They are all completely smitten with him. He is a lucky little boy to have such a plethora of love surrounding him. I wonder if Ethan will ever make an honest woman out of Mia. They are obviously in love with each other. Casually I wonder why he is holding back on popping the question. Before I know it my head is leaned against the window and I am beginning to doze. We are swathed in the dark Washington night sky, dotted by millions of sparkling stars. I feel Christian's hand squeeze mine just before I drift off.

**"We're home sleepy head."** Christian nuzzles me into wakefulness. "Come; let's put our son to bed so you can sleep yourself."

Groggily I follow Christian up the stairs to Ted's nursery. He undresses him and puts his sleep clothes on while I unpack his bag.

"Here let me feed him." I pick Ted up from the changing table and make my way to the rocking chair. As I unbutton my blouse and guide Ted to my breast Christian takes his watchful place on the large slate blue area rug at my feet. Streams of moonbeams streak across the dark wood floors and illuminate the walls which are the same shade of blue as the rug.

"I love watching you with him." He whispers hoarsely. I can almost hear the sound of unshed tears in the back of his throat. _Oh Christian._ "Watching you feed him and care for him Ana, its euphoria to me, that my son has a mother who loves him unconditionally."

My heart constricts and I feel a lump in my throat. My mind wanders back to notions I had this afternoon at the Grey's. The observations I had made in regards to Christian's insistence on Ted being nursed from my breast and his unwillingness to discuss anything else. Does this go back to his birthmother? The thought plagues my mind. It is essential to him for his son to be cared for in a way he wasn't. Is that it? What can I say to him to reassure him that I love our son and him unconditionally? His gray eyes full of wonder and reverence never leave the sight of me nursing Ted.

Once Ted is finished I burp him and lay him down in his crib. Christian strokes his face and whispers, "Good night, sleep tight." Putting his arm around my waist he kisses my hair. "Come Mrs. Grey."


	15. Chapter 15

***So ladies...who is your Christian Grey? Mine is Henry Cavill, ooo baby.***

** Walking to the night stand** I pick up my pill pack and pop one out. "I'm going to have a shower," I say walking toward the bathroom. Christian is emptying his wallet, keys and blackberry from his pants pockets. I stand in front of the mirror drinking my water. I look tired, I feel tired. The day was busy, no wonder Ted is so tuckered out. Strong arms wrap around me as Christian approaches me.

"I'll shower with you." He mutters smoothing my hair away from my neck, leaving soft kisses and nibbles on my skin. A shudder runs through my body at his touch.

Turning on the warm water I step into the enormous stone shower, letting the water wash over my weary body. Christian is behind me lathering my hair, massaging me, loving me. Carefully he rinses my hair and I take the shampoo from him. He likes this. I wash his hair then his body. Running my hands across his shoulders, feeling the muscles down his back, his hips and back up his chest and defined abdomen, I want to reassure him of my love. Before Ted we were both unquenchable, we could never get enough of each other. Now the physical adoration we felt for one another has waned some. I don't want that for us. We need touch, it is what makes us, us.

Stepping out of the shower I reach for a towel and dry myself, Christian follows suite watching my every move. I reach for my night dress hanging on the back of the door but his hand stops me.

"Ana please, I need you. I need to feel you."

I can see the desperation in his eyes. He pulls me to him, skin against skin, and kisses me with wild abandon. Bending down he scoops me into his arms and carries me to our vast four poster bed. The luxurious down comforter and satin sheets embrace my body as do his arms.

"I'm here for you Christian," I pant. "Only for you."

His hands feel their way down my body and back to my face. Moon beams and the dim light from my lamp etch his face as he moves his body over mine, parting my legs with his left.

"I want to make love to you…the mother of my son." His hands are caressing my face as he gazes deep into my eyes. Asking permission? Adoring me? I'm not sure which or maybe it's both.

He groans low in his throat and sound inflames my blood. His lips move down my body, his breath hot against my skin as he tenderly kisses each of my breasts. His tongue brushes each nipple and I whimper feeling the sensitivity. His fingers trail down past my breasts, over my stomach where he stops to caress me.

"Ah…so beautiful Ana," His wonder his evident. I bow under him and rise to meet his touch.

Long fingers continue down and he cups me, moving two fingers in a circular motion he breathes again. "So ready…" I feel him shift. His body is completely covering mine, his elbows and hands are on either side of my head, cradling me in his passion.

"Let me worship you with my body Ana." It's a plea from the deepest depths of his heart and soul. Pulling his face down to mine I kiss him, accepting him, cradling him in the most intimate way. His body dictates mine and requires me to move in rhythm with his. I can hear his breaths, harsh and short in my ear. My own mirror and mingle with his. I feel like he is trying to climb inside of me, we can't get close enough to each other. My legs tighten around his waist and I reach my hands around to his back, feeling every sinew of muscle.

"Give. It. To. Me. Ana…please." His words are my undoing. I call out his name and he stills crying out mine.

As I regain consciousness I am aware of Christian's head resting among my breasts. Gently I reach down to run my fingers through his hair.

"Are you ok?" My voice is full of concern.

"I need you Ana. I need you here with us."

"Christian, I am here."

He moves to lie beside me, pulling me in his arms tightly. _Oh Christian, what is it? _

His hand brushes over my breasts once more, marveling at the swell of them.

"I need this for Ted. I need you to care for him and give him everything."

"Christian I do."

"I can tolerate you working from home but not you being away from him. Please Ana, come home after the party. He needs you."

I sigh, now I know why he is feeling this way. It is about the suggestion I made for me to pump so I can go back to work eventually and go out with the bridal party. Deep down I know what the cause for these feelings in him is. But I want to go back to work, I want to go out and neither of those things means that I love Ted any less.

"Christian, me pumping so I can work or spend an evening out does not mean I don't love Ted."

"He's a baby Ana, he needs his mother." _Just like you needed your mother Christian, I get it._

Somehow he needs to put the ghost of his mother to rest. Perhaps Flynn could shed some light on this for him, for us.

Running my thumb across his lips I stare into his gray eyes. Full of love but hidden in depths is still the longing for the maternal love he did not receive in his first years of life.

"I'm here Christian, for both of you. Let's sleep now, ok?" My mind and body are weary from the day. I'm not sure how to approach this subject with Christian. I want to be mindful of his feelings but I won't let this control me either.

He kisses me and pulls me closer. "Yes."

I drift off into a peaceful sleep marred only by the thoughts of my husband's malnourishment for love from his birthmother.


	16. Chapter 16

**Crying, I can hear crying**. I must wake up, Ted is crying over the monitor. Forcing my heavy eyelids open I can see nothing but darkness. Picking up the monitor I make my way to the bedroom door. As I walk further away the sound seems to lessen. I hold the monitor up to my ear, no sound. The hair on my arms stands on end, Christian! My feet can't move fast enough to get me back to my bed. Flipping the bedside light on I temporarily blind myself but am able to see Christian. Tears are streaming down his face, his eyes still closed.

I begin shaking him, "Christian, Christian wake up!" Oh God, he's having a nightmare. It's been so long, why now?

His eyes open and stare into mine. "Ana?" He chokes out my name.

"I'm here Christian. I thought it was Ted crying but it was you." I wrap him in my arms, holding his head to my chest. His body is trembling as his tears continue to pour down his cheeks.

I hear Ted's cries over the monitor and this time I know it is him.

"Get him Ana, you must get him!" His voice is almost hysterical.

"I am Christian. I need to know you are ok. Please what's wrong?" My voice pleads with him.

"Ana! He can't wait, he's hungry!" He tears himself from my arms and runs in the direction of Ted's cries before I can think to move he is coming back in the room with him. I am bewildered by everything that has happened in these few minutes. In my bleary state I have hardly had any time to digest it all. I know he's had a nightmare and can only imagine what horrible parts of his early life he was remembering.

Christian puts Ted in my arms and I immediately allow him to nurse hoping it will soothe them both. Sitting down next to me it is apparent that Christian is completely awake and beginning to relax. After some moments have passed he says the words I have been waiting to hear.

"I had a nightmare." This is his explanation for his frantic behavior I know.

I look into his eyes, "I know." My voice is tranquil as I reach a hand up to feel his rough cheek, dusted with stubble. "What was it about?"

For a moment he hesitates and I'm not sure if he's going to open up to me or not. Finally he begins to talk. "I was hungry, so hungry. My stomach hurt. I was crying it hurt so much and she wouldn't feed me. She just left me there by myself and shut the door in my face."

Laying down he puts his head in my lap. I stroke his hair and run my hands down his back trying to help his fears subside. His fear is palpable in his words and in his voice.

"I don't want my son to ever be hungry."

"He won't Christian. He has you and I to take care of him."

"But if you're not here and he won't take a bottle, he'll be hungry Ana. He needs you."

"Christian this is something I will do slowly. I will never leave him if I think he won't eat any other way. I will never let anything bad happen to our son. Please believe me." I beseech him.

"Ana I…"

I know he is lost, my lost boy. He is a grown man, my husband and father of our child but he is still a boy in need of love and reassurance in so many ways.

"Let's talk to your Mom about this ok? Maybe she can talk to us and give us suggestions on how to make this transition with Ted easier. I don't want to give up breast feeding him. I just want to know I can pump and give him a bottle when I need to."

I feel him nod his head in my lap. Ted begins to turn away from me and I know he's done.

"Will you burp him for me so I can get the medicine?"

Christian sits up and takes Ted in his arms. I watch him kiss Ted's soft baby face. "I will always take care of you son." His voice is a hoarse whisper.

**Christian and Ted are still asleep** when I wake up. Just like before our son is safely wrapped in his father's arms. Smiling sleepily at the sight of them I decide to bring breakfast upstairs this morning. Flipping the last omelet out of the skillet I place it on the warmed plate. Two plates complete with omelets, fresh fruit and honey wheat toast sit on the breakfast tray. After pouring my milk and Christian's coffee I carefully carry the tray back up to our room. I put the tray on our nightstand and move Ted's bassinette over near our bed. Leaning down I pick him up, still asleep, and lay him down. Christian stirs instantly, feeling his empty arms.

"He's in his bassinette Christian. I've made breakfast for us." I reassure him and reach for the tray.

Sleepy gray eyes open to meet my blue. He smiles but I see a fleeting look of uncertainty as he remembers last night.

"Omelet, toast and fruit Mr. Grey?" I smile trying to lift his mood.

"It smells divine Mrs. Grey." He sits up crossing his legs and we share the tray between us.

We eat draped in silence.

"I'm sorry about last night Ana," he finally mutters under his breath.

I reach across and lift his face level with mine. "Please don't apologize. I understand Christian."

"I know."

"Let's talk to your mom about this and if you still feel hesitant perhaps bring it up with Flynn?"

He nods resigned to my suggestions. "I know you will always take care of Ted in my heart Ana but sometimes I just can't make my mind believe it. You are nothing like her. I can't help the memories though." This is an enormous divulgence from his soul.

"What if we invite your mom and dad over for dinner tonight? Have a bit of a re-do of yesterday? She can talk with us then maybe."

"Yes."

"Good." I sigh. "I'll get dinner arranged then and call them after I feed Ted."

He clasps my hand in both of his. "I'll call her. Thank you Ana. I love you."

Leaning up I place my lips on his. Gently with my other hand I run my fingers through his unruly hair while I kiss his lips. He wraps me in his arms cradling my head with one hand and lays me down on the bed. I feel his warm lips running kisses along my jaw and back to my lips, stroking my tongue with is. "I will love you forever Mrs. Grey."


	17. Chapter 17

**Our family dinner is more relaxed** in comparison to the occasion yesterday at the Grey's home. The atmosphere is casual as it is just Carrick, Grace, Christian and I. The conversation is warm and flows between us. Occasionally Ted makes a grunt or gurgle causing everyone at the table to turn in his direction and smile.

"I'll help you clear the dishes Ana, dear." Grace says as I stand.

"Great. Grandpa would you like to take your grandson upstairs and rock him for his nap?" I take Ted from my wrap as Carrick's eyes light up at my suggestion.

"Sure thing, come to Grandpa Teddy." He tucks Ted in his arms and carries him upstairs.

Once the dishes are cleared and everything is put away Grace takes the opportunity to discuss the matter at hand with Christian and I.

"Well, now that cleaning up's all finished shall we go sit and talk?" She smooth's her hair from her face and gestures for us to all go in the family room.

Christian and I follow his mom; we sit on the couch while she chooses a wingback chair across from us.

Reaching into her briefcase next to her she takes out a folder and notepad.

"First I'd like you for you both to share with me your concerns in regard to bottle feeding as opposed to exclusively breast feeding."

We look at each other and Christian takes my hand.

"I'm worried that he won't feed mom and that he'll go hungry if Ana's not here to nurse him." The words seem to spill out of his mouth and I know they are his worst fears revealed.

"Ana, do you feel the same way?" She asks turning to me.

I consider my words carefully. Not wanting to upset my husband or belittle his fears.

"I want to learn how to do this for Ted so that doesn't happen."

She smiles, "Good. I've brought some information here with me to share with both of you. Doing a combination of bottle and breast can work and can even be beneficial. Up until now those intimate moments of feeding Ted have belonged solely to you Ana. If you choose to do a combination though Ted will still get the nutrients from breast milk but he will be able to have an intimate bond of feeding time with others too, mainly you Christian."

I watch Christian blink as he tries to digest what his mom has just said.

"The most important thing is to find the right bottle for Ted." She hands us a pamphlet with different brands pointing to the one she recommends most.

"More infants have success with this brand, the nipple is most like their mother's nipple and they have less nipple confusion. Once you have pumped the milk out give it to him immediately the first few times. It will be close to the temperature he is used to and have someone other than you feed him his first few bottles. It would be good for you to do it Christian. He might be confused if Ana feeds him from a bottle because he nurses from her."

"What if he won't take it Mom?" His voice is almost panicked. I squeeze his hand and he glances down at me for a second before his anxious eyes return to Grace.

"Hold him close to your body like Ana does when she nurses him; put milk on the nipple to let him know what is in the bottle and don't give up. It may take a few times of trying and he may not eat as much when it is from the bottle. This will mean he may want more frequent feedings when he is nursing but that is normal. It would be best if Ana is not in the room when you try because some babies can smell their mothers and know they are near." She reaches across the table between us and touches her son's hand. "I can help you if you want son."

He looks down at me again, asking my permission and I nod yes.

"I can pick up these bottles tomorrow Grace, I already have a pump. We can try this in the next few days." I hope her words have comforted Christian in some way.

"Here take these papers and read them together. When you are ready to try let me know."

"We will." I smile back at her and squeeze his hand again.

**Soft lips brush my temple.** Opening my eyes I see Christian leaning over me. He's dressed in a navy suit, crisp white shirt, no tie. Geez, the sun is up how long did I sleep? I remember Ted waking a few times in the night for feedings.

"I'm heading to work now. Maybe you and Ted can join me for lunch if you feel up to it?"

I rub my eyes and sit up. "Sure, why didn't you wake me?"

"You were sleeping peacefully. Ted had you up several times last night and I didn't want to disturb you." He kisses my lips, lingering a bit longer than necessary.

"What time should we be at your office?" My smile is sleepy but my eyes gaze at my beautiful husband pensively. He looks delicious.

"Noon, see you then Mommy." He flashes me his million dollar grin and is out the door.

He seems so sure of himself sometimes but I know deep down he struggles with demons from his past. They haunt and tease him making him doubt himself. There is no reason to doubt what kind of father he is to Ted. My mind drifts back to the first time I say him in Christian's arms. How he thanked me for giving him our son. In that single glimpse of a moment I knew what kind of father my husband would be.

Ted's cries over the monitor pull me from my musings alerting me that he would like his breakfast. Peeling myself from my luxurious bed and blissful thoughts I make my way down the hall to his nursery.


	18. Chapter 18

***I love reading all of your comments and thank you to everyone who is following my story***

**A soft summer breeze **whispers through my hair as I turn the corner at Grey Enterprises & Holdings Inc. "Here's where Daddy works Ted." I say to my son who is sitting in his stroller staring at me. We enjoyed a morning out, just the two of us. I had stopped by an 'everything baby' shop for the bottles we needed and picked up a too cute sailboat jumper for Teddy that I couldn't resist. Shopping for Ted is much more fun than shopping for myself. The security guard at the front opens one of the large glass doors for me and nods politely. Signing it at the receptionist desk brings back memories of receiving my first 'visitor badge' not so long ago, although admittedly it seems like a lifetime has passed since that day in May 2011. Pressing the button for the twentieth floor we ride the elevator up to where Christian's office was located.

"Mrs. Grey," Andrea smiles warmly when she sees me step off of the elevator pushing the stroller. Walking over she can't help but peak at Ted. "I've been waiting to see him in person. He is just adorable; the picture on Mr. Grey's desk scarcely does this handsome little man justice." I know she's speaking to me but her words are directed at Ted. He gurgles and blows a few bubbles. She cannot resist touching his soft baby hands. "He is just a doll Mrs. Grey."

"Thank you," I gush like the proud momma I am. "Is Mr. Grey in his office?"

"He is just finishing up a meeting; he shouldn't be more than 5 minutes. Would you like to have a seat and wait? I'll buzz him and let him know you are here."

Thanking her again I wheel Teddy over and sit in one of the sleek black chairs. I remember how intimidated I felt when I was here for the first time. The white walls, floors and glass windows all look the same. It still catches me by surprise sometimes when I come here, where I first met him, and now I am his wife.

Five minutes later the door to Christian's office opens. He shakes hands firmly with the two gentlemen he had been meeting with then glances my way excusing himself and bids them a good day.

I stand just as he makes his way to me and wraps me in his embrace.

"Hi," he mutters softly in my ear so that only I can hear him.

"Hi yourself, having a good day."

"Yes, but it's even better now that you two are here." Leaning down he kisses me chastely on my lips. "Come, I'd like to show my son and beautiful wife off. Roz has been excited to meet Ted all day since I told her you two were coming," a father completely taken over with pride for his new son.

He reaches down taking Ted from his stroller seat and cradles him in his arms. "Let's go see Daddy's office and coworker's son."

I stroll behind them as we make our way in and out of a hall of office doors. Each time he shows Ted off to someone he beams brighter than the morning sun. Everyone is completely taken with Teddy and I can't help but notice Christian's chest swell a little when they tell him how much his son favors him. Roz is the last person we visit and she can't get enough of our little boy. She holds him, talking to him and swaying him back and forth.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, he is simply perfection. I'm in love with him." Her voice is deep and throaty; I can't help but notice the sing song tune she speaks in when she talks to Ted. "You must come back to see me soon Ted." She says handing him back to Christian.

Back in the lobby Christian tells Andrea to take his calls until he returns from lunch then we are off to eat.

"Would you like to walk to the deli down the street Ana?"

"Sure, it's a lovely day. Better than getting back in the car."

We stroll Ted down the sidewalk enjoying the Seattle summer afternoon. Christian asks what we have been up to all morning and I tell him about buying the bottles along with the baby outfit I could not resist.

"Do you have any other plans while you are in town today?"

"I was thinking of stopping by work. I've been dying to show Ted off to Hannah and Claire." I glance up gauging his reaction.

"I'm sure they'd love to see him and you."

Phew. Good. No resistance there.

We walk in to doors at the deli and I take Ted to change him while Christian orders our lunch; a perfectly normal, perfectly wonderful afternoon.

Lunch ends all too soon and we walk Christian back to work. He kisses me again promising not to be long this evening. "See you at home this evening Mrs. Grey."

"Ditto Mr. Grey," I run my fingers along his bottom lip, his lips pucker to kiss them.

"So romantic," I murmur against his mouth.

"I can't wait to get home, you smell divine." He inhales deeply with his nose in my hair then releases me. Swatting my behind lightly he says, "Take your car Mrs. Grey, no walking from here."

"Yes Sir," I smile and blow him a kiss before turning and strolling Ted back to my car.


	19. Chapter 19

**Our visit at Grey's Publishing **takes a bit longer than I had intended. Claire and Hannah love Teddy instantly and take turns holding him. I am pleased to have such an easy going baby; he doesn't mind the extra attention one bit. They are both anxious for my return to work. I admit to them that I am looking forward to returning but will be working from home for the time being. While they spend time with Ted I take a few moments to speak with Roach about me working from home. As I suspected Christian has already worked everything out for me but I feel good having spoken with Roach myself. He hands me a folder of manuscripts I can look over at my leisure as well as a few new ideas our advertising company has developed for our e-books venture. It feels good to have work in my hands. I didn't realize how much I've missed it until now. We bid everyone good bye and head back home. My new desk for my office was due to arrive today and I can't wait to see it. My office is being set up and I am more eager than ever to get cracking at work again.

**Singing to Ted I wash **his delicate skin with one of his blue wash rags. The warm water is soothing and lavender scented. Poor baby, he can barely keep his little eyes open for his bath. He is exhausted from his day of visiting. I took the opportunity to bathe him before dinner since Gail was still finishing up and I wasn't sure if he was going to stay awake much longer. Continuing my lullaby I dry him, diaper him and swaddle him in his sleep sack.

"Dinner then bed for you little man." I say walking in his room and taking my place near the window.

The sun has not yet set; nevertheless the sky is beautiful, filled with white puffy clouds delineated in hues of auburn and scarlet. The view stretches as far as the eye can see until the heavens meet the water.

I hear a faint clicking sound I recognize. A tall shadow falls across the floor, the shadow of a man, my man.

"So exquisite Mrs. Grey, I could not help myself." He murmurs softly in my ear. Setting the camera down on the floor he takes his place at my feet.

"How was your day Mr. Grey?"

"Perfect. My beautiful wife and son came to visit and have lunch with me."

"Your son is exhausted from his day of visiting. Would you like to tuck him in?"

I button my blouse as Christian lays Ted down. I hear the same words he speaks to him every night, "Good night, sleep tight." He switches of the bedside lamp.

"Let's go feed you Mommy."

Will I ever tire of him wanting to take care of me? No. It's what he does. He would be lost without it.

** "Thank you for the desk." **I say in between bites. Mrs. Jones has prepared a perfect garden salad complete with grilled steak and fresh focaccia bread.

"I'm glad you like it. Your book shelves and new computer will arrive tomorrow."

"Christian I don't need a new computer. My laptop will work fine." I really am ok with using my laptop.

"This will be solely for your work Ana. Let your laptop be for personal use. This way Roach can send you files you need for work. It can all be stored on this computer."

I shrug, "ok makes sense. He gave me a few files today and some ideas from our advertising company. I was hoping to look them over tonight."

"Maybe they can both wait until tomorrow?" He reaches under the table and squeezes my thigh.

I run my finger nails lightly up and down his arm which is resting on the kitchen table.

"Hmmmm…maybe they can. Then what will I do with my evening?" My eyes reach for the heavens as I ponder innocently, well maybe not so innocently, how I can fill the void in my evening.

"I think we can figure out a way to eliminate any boredom which may transpire Mrs. Grey." He leans over; I feel his breath hot against my ear, "especially if you roll your eyes."

I stop breathing and turn my eyes up to his. They are smoldering gray gazing at me. I swallow, "Stow your twitching palm Mr. Grey I was just pondering a thought."

"And what thought was that?" His voice is even lower; he takes a sip of his wine.

Tapping my lower lip with my index finger I smile then bite my lip. "How I can be of service to my husband's pleasure."

Standing abruptly he picks me up out of his chair. "I've got plenty of ideas Mrs. Grey."

Christian mounts the stairs two at a time until we are at the top. He swings the door open to our bedroom and lays me on the bed. Has he been planning this all day? I lay on the bed panting, watching him undress. He unbuttons his white dress shirt and tosses it to the floor.

"Enjoying the show?" He asks as he reaches for his belt. I scramble out of the bed and drop to my knees in front of him.

"Let me." With nimble fingers I unhook his belt and slowly slide it through each loop. His eyes are downcast, staring, and watchful of every move I make. I run my tongue across my bottom lip before biting it. I know the effect this has on him. His pupils dilate, his eyes grow darker. Unbuttoning his navy slacks I pull them down, then his boxers, my man.

"Hmmm…" I murmur to myself. He gasps and closes his eyes only briefly. I glance back up through my lashes.

"Watch me," I breathe.


	20. Chapter 20

***short I know but very very very sweet***

Christian moves his hands from where they are cradling my head and places them on my upper arms. _My inner goddess looks on smacking her lips, elated by our previous actions._ Pulling me to my feet his mouth finds mine. His tongue parts my lips and I moan against his mouth. Accepting, his persuasive desire I allow him to consume me with his kisses. His fingers find the top button of my blouse. Slowly he unbuttons each button, kissing my enflamed skin with scorching lips as he undoes each one.

"You. Are. So. Beautiful. Mrs. Grey. I. Have. Wanted. You. All. Day." His voice is raspy and deep. I have no idea what I have done to entice this craving he suddenly has for me.

"Why?" My voice is so full of breath it is barely a whisper.

His hands move to my back, unclasping my bra. He allows it to fall to the floor and runs his strong hands across and down my body.

My jeans and panties slide effortlessly down my legs. Kneeling he holds his hand out for me. I place mine in his and step out of my clothes.

Suddenly his tongue is there, worshipping me, beseeching me. I don't think I can stand much longer. His motions are relentless, pulling every ounce of sensuality from my inner being. My legs are growing weak and I feel my body begin to sway. _Oh God._ Standing Christian kisses me once more, walking me backwards toward our bed. He places his one hand on the small of my back guiding me as we fall back, our lips never breaking contact.

"Why?" Finally he breaks the kiss to answer my one worded question. His eyes peer into the depths of mine. His hands cup either side of my head. I am swathed in his body and tenderness.

"My Ana. My love. My wife. Mother of our son. My life."

With those words he moves one leg between my knees effectively parting my legs. Tilting my head back I feel him. He consumes me as I accept him. I brace myself with my hands on his upper arms. I can feel his muscles ripple with each movement his body makes. His lips kiss and tease each breast tenderly then travel up to nip my neck before finding mine again. I am on fire. That is what he does to me. He ignites and kindles my desire then quells it by dominating and satisfying the inner most parts of me. I feel myself climbing. Wrapping my body around his I cling to him as I let go. Again and I again I fall.

"Christian!" My voice shrieks at a high decibel, I am shattering inside. My throat is tight and I realize I am holding my breath. The feeling is indescribable.

He crushes me to his body and as he stills he groans deep in his throat.

"Oh Ana. My Ana."

I feel shudders running through his body and sweat beading on his skin as we continue to cling to each other like our lives depend on it. And they do. Without each other we are nothing.


	21. Chapter 21

**We lie in each other's arms **satiated from our love making. Christian is drumming his fingers up and down my arm. My head rests on his chest, my favorite pillow. I sigh feeling loose limbed and tranquil. The steady beat of his heart lulls me and I begin to doze. Just as my eyelids become heavy he stirs, moving to face me. His eyes search mine, I know he has something on his mind he wants to talk about.

"I want to ask you something Ana."

"Anything Mr. Grey." I stroke his face.

"I want to take you away for our anniversary, just the two of us for a few days. Only if we can transition Ted to using bottles some though."

_Oh? This is a change of pace from him not wanting me to leave Ted. _

"I'd love to take a trip, just the two of us. When do we leave?" I can't help my smile. Time alone would be heavenly.

"Friday the 27th. I want the entire weekend of our first anniversary alone with you."

Sometimes I cannot grasp that it has almost been a year since our wedding day. In a little over a year I have managed to meet the love of my life, marry him and have our first child together. The 27th, that will give us almost two weeks to help adjust Ted.

"Where will we go?"

He grins and taps his nose knowingly. "That's for me to know and for you to find out Mrs. Grey. First things first, my mom can come over tomorrow and help us with Ted. Is that ok?"

"I have final dress fittings with Kate in the morning. Afternoon is good for me though." Silently I wonder how things will go with Kate. We haven't spoken since Saturday at the Grey's home. Thinking back I am surprised she didn't call me today. Perhaps I should have called her. I don't want to shun my responsibilities as Matron of Honor however; I cannot help the twinge of hurt I felt when she very strongly shared her opinions on how I feed my baby. Kate has always made her thoughts and opinions prominent but this time it cut a little deep.

"What are you thinking?" Christian asks.

Will I ever learn to hide my thoughts or will my face always spell out what I am thinking? Do I want to broach this subject with him, I'm not sure.

"Tell me Ana. Something is bothering you I know." He is more insistent.

"It's nothing. Kate and I just had a little disagreement, we'll get past it."

I don't want to divulge any more information. He won't like what it was about and it will only make things more difficult.

"Ok."

Phew! I am thankful he does not press me on the subject. Shocked but thankful.

"Let's sleep Mrs. Grey." He kisses my lips and pulls me to him, my back to his front. I drift into a peaceful slumber dreaming of a scenic anniversary retreat with my beautiful husband.

**"I just fed him Gail," **I say packing my purse and grabbing my keys. I need to leave now so I can make it to the fitting appointment on time. My mind is frantic though; I can't help but feel like I am forgetting something.

"We'll be fine Mrs. Grey." She is holding Ted in her arms gently bouncing him up and down.

"Call my cell if you need anything. I won't be gone more than 2 or 3 hours. I will definitely be home in time to nurse him." I can't contain my nervousness about leaving Ted. He has been with me almost every moment since his birth over 7 weeks ago.

"Come here sweet boy, give me a kiss." Kissing his little cheek I feel a twinge of sadness. Be strong Ana, you can do this. "Thank you Gail for watching him. Remember call me if you need me."

"I will Mrs. Grey."

With that I turn and walk out the front door. Taylor has brought my R8 around to the front driveway. It has been months since I have driven it. Months since I have been anywhere on my own. Climbing in I adjust my mirrors and turn the key. The engine roars to life with its familiar deep sonorous sound. The weather out today is lovely. With the push of a few buttons on the door my windows roll down. _You can do this Ana. You can be you again and still be a mom. _Leaning over I take my sunglasses from the glove box, slip them on and flip on my radio. I put my foot on the clutch, shift the car into gear and pull out of the driveway. This feels liberating, the sun on my face, the wind whipping my hair and the road stretching out before me. I think I will enjoy the drive more than the destination itself.


	22. Chapter 22

**Climbing out of the car **I brush down my cotton lilac sundress. Trying to straighten out any wrinkles it might have acquired on the drive over. It's time to put on a smile and go be matron of honor. As I reach to pull open the heavy glass door to the bridal shop I see Kate inside with her two cousins who have flown in for the festivities and Mia. They are all seated on the plush cream couches chatting with each other but turn to face me as the chime jingles signaling my entrance. Mia is the first to jump up and run my direction.

"Ana!" She wraps me in her warm embrace.

"Hi Mia," my smile is content. I am pleased to see her. Mia is always genuine and happy.

Kate makes her way to me and hugs me as well. Letting me go she turns to her two cousins.

"Bridget, Cass, this is Ana my matron of honor and best friend in the whole world."

I shake hands with them and greet them pleasantly. They are both pleasant with me as well. Bridget is tall with long red hair, freckles and sparkling green eyes. Her sister Cass is a bit shorter and has the same freckles and green eyes but her hair is a darker auburn red. Kate's choice of words give me hope that all is well between us, but only time will tell.

"We were going to go to lunch after the fittings. I hope you'll be able to join us Ana." Kate says turning her attention to me.

"Sounds lovely," the sales associate and seamstress enter he room.

"Are you ladies ready to try on your gowns?" The associate asks.

"Well shall we girls?" I motion to everyone and we all go to the dressing rooms.

I am pleased to find that the seamstress will have to take my dress in a few more inches around the waist. It seems I have lost some of my baby weight around my tummy. The flip side of that is that she will need to let the top of my dress out a little more to accommodate my larger bust size. I guess this is what breast feeding does to a woman, gives her a larger bust. _ My subconscious nods and nudges me, reminding me that Christian does not complain about this alteration at all, cheeky little vixen that she is. _

Once the bridesmaids are finished with their fittings it is Kate's turn. The seamstress helps her dress in her gown. We are all seated on the circular sofa in the middle of the room when Kate exits her dressing room. She is stunning. All eyes on Kate as usual. Her gown is princess cut and consists solely of silk, intricate lace and diamonds. The diamonds stud the thin straps and are also intricately splayed on the bottom of the gown among the lace which embroiders the bottom. The bodice of her gown is a deep burgundy silk. Only Kate could pull off a wedding dress flushed with such an intense color.

Kate stands on the step among the mirrors and stares at her reflection.

"Well, what do you think?" She is breathless at the site of herself, and who could blame her. She looks stunning.

"Its breath taking Kate, you look gorgeous." I beam at her, and it's the truth.

Mia claps her hands and squeals excitedly. Everyone else chimes in mirroring the same sentiments. The dress is a perfect fit on Kate. She tries her veil on with it as well as the burgundy satin shoes she has chosen to wear. Watching Kate I am reminded of planning for my own wedding. This will be such a special day for her and Elliot, one that they will cherish for the rest of their lives.

After taking off her dress and safely tucking it back in the bag she tells the associate that her mother will be by to pick the dress up this week. I must go back in one more time to insure that my dress is ready. They will call when I need to schedule my last fitting. Here's to hoping I stay the same size between now and then.

Outside on the sidewalk we are talking about where to go for lunch. Kate exclaims that she could kill some tacos so we decide on Barrio's.

"Let's all take my car and ride together," Kate says motioning in the direction of parked BMW.

I glance at my watch; it's already a little passed eleven. I need to be home by one to feed Ted.

Anxiously I glance up at Kate. "I'm going to go ahead and take my car too. I need to be home by one for Ted." I hate doing this; we have had a wonderful morning. I'm hesitant that this will cause things to take a nosedive.

"That's cool Ana, no prob." She smiles at me and I feel relieved.

"I'll ride with Ana girls. We'll see you there!" Mia pipes up and heads to the passenger side of my car.

"I've always wanted to ride in your car Ana." She exclaims fastening her seatbelt and rolling down her window. She slips on her sunglasses as I turn the key. "We look hot Ana. Let's hit it babe." I laugh with abandon. How can you not when you are with Mia. I roll my eyes at her and signal to turn into traffic.

Lunch is perfect. We all laugh, enjoying the delicious food and lively company of each other. We split two large portions of Al Pastor and Grilled Steak Tacos. The girls each have a margarita but I refrain and have a Coca-Cola Pure Cane Mexicana. I'd die for a margarita though. I wonder if when I start pumping it might be easier for me to enjoy an alcoholic beverage every now and then. I'm going to have to talk to Grace about this. Half way through our meal my cell starts ringing; Your Love is King, sings from inside my purse. I take it out holding up a finger to let the girls know I'm answering it.

"Hi," I beam, knowing who it is.

"Hi," his voice drawls out from the other end.

"Mom called saying that she had an emergency at the hospital. She can't make it today. Will tomorrow morning be ok?"

"Sure, just let me know what time."

"Ok. She said she'll call me later. So, what are you up to Mrs. Grey?"

"Having lunch with the girls at Barrios, tacos and margaritas." I hear him begin to grumble. "Coke Mexicana for me, don't worry." I quickly correct myself.

"Good. Ted is too young for margaritas Mommy." I smile, his good humor returned quickly upon my correction.

"Yes, I know Daddy."

"I'll see you tonight?"

"Tonight," I whisper. Secretly I hope tonight is as good as last night was. I can't help my blush when I think about it.

"I love you Mrs. Grey."

"I love you too Mr. Grey."

We hang up and its then I realize everyone is staring at me. How is it that he can make me so flustered over the phone?

"Anyone want to guess who that was?" Kate asks. A cat like smile teases her lips.

"Like we don't all know!" Mia gushes.

Poor Bridget and Cass both seem a bit stunned by the sizzling phone conversation between my husband and I.

"Dang," Bridget says fanning herself. "That was hot. I hope my fiancé and I are still like that when we are married."

We all burst into a fit of giggles before returning to our tacos. I can't help what Christian Grey does to me even as my husband. He still makes me searing hot with his intense love for me. Idly I think every girl should be so lucky.


	23. Chapter 23

**I make it home in time **for Ted's lunchtime feeding. I have missed my baby boy but being out with the girls this afternoon was a dose of alone time I definitely needed. After feeding Ted I lay him down for a nap then pull out the information Grace gave me about pumping. After reading the pamphlets she gave me along with what came with the pump I decide to give it a try. Hopefully I can build enough of a supply up so others can feed Ted when I'm not at home. Even though I am positive to Grace and Christian about me not nursing Ted all the time deep down inside of me I am apprehensive. What happens if he won't take the bottle? What if I can't make enough milk for him? Putting away the literature I decide to give it a try. I won't know if I don't.

**Grace is here by 10 o'clock **the next morning. I woke up and pumped before nursing Ted this morning. Christian is working from home today and I hope to get some work done as well. _Please let Ted do well with this. _I know Christian is nervous but Grace is able to put him at ease. Her nurturing and peaceful demeanor means so much to me.

"When did you last nurse Ana?" Grace asks as she sits down at the kitchen table.

Mrs. Jones has gone in town to do some shopping today. I made breakfast and am busy tidying up the kitchen.

"At eight this morning, he usually eats about every two to three hours." I load the last dish into the dishwasher and set it to run.

"Good. It's best to try the bottle when he's not too hungry. Let's warm the bottle and give it a go." She smiles. Standing to comes to me and pats my arm reassuringly. "Don't worry Ana. He will be fine. We won't do anything he's not ready for ok?"

"Ok." I take my milk from the fridge and hand it to her.

I watch as Grace warms and prepares the bottle for Ted. "Christian is in his study. I'll go tell him we're ready."

"And I'll go see my beautiful grandson. Just let Christian come in the nursery. He has a better chance of success if he can't sense that you are around."

I nod and exit the room. I can do this. I can do this. I repeat the mantra over and over again in my head. Do other mothers experience anxiety like this? I don't know. All I know is for the past almost 11 months I have given my baby everything he needs solely from me and that is about to change.

"Your Mom's here. She's up in the nursery with Ted." I say peeking around the slightly open door. Christian's brow creases, I know with worry, as he looks up at me. "She's made his bottle and is waiting for you." I walk over to his desk and sit astride him when he turns to face me in his chair. He still doesn't speak he just nuzzles my breasts and holds me close. "You can do this Christian. I'm going to stay down stairs while you feed him ok?" I pull his face up to meet mine. "Your Mom will help you Christian. I love you."

"I love you more." He kisses me gently then stands and walks out of the room. I pray that this goes well. I'm not sure how he will handle it if Ted is upset and refuses the bottle. Leaving the room I go to the family room. I pick my book up from the side table and sit down to read.

The clock over the fireplace ticks and tocks, the steady sound is reverberating in my ears. It's the only noise I can hear with the exception of the occasional bird singing outside. My mind is not with my book. Every fiber of my being is in the nursery upstairs. I feel like an eternity has passed but looking at the clock I realize that only ten minutes gone by. I think I hear a cry, my ears strain to pick up the noise. Yes, Ted is crying. Oh God. I attempt to return my attention to the book but cannot. He is bawling loudly. I know Grace won't let it go too far but hearing him in distress is difficult. I stand and go to the kitchen for a glass of water. I need to move away from his cries. When I come back in the family room I can still hear him. Only two or three minutes have passed, but again it feels like much longer. Slowly the cries fade away, he quiets. Maybe he is feeding, please let him be feeding. Five minutes pass and the crying resumes. I feel tears slide down my cheeks. My baby is upset, he is hungry, and he needs me. Be strong Ana, you can do this. My milk begins to flow, wetting my shirt. I put my book down and quickly head upstairs. Do I go to the nursery? No. No. No. Grace will let me know if I need to come in. I will pump, that's what I'll do.

I go into my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Sitting down on the bed I begin to pump my milk. My cheeks are still damp from my tears which refuse to stop. I hear the crying cease once more, slowly but it does stop. Like last time I think maybe he is feeding. All too soon I realize again that he's not. Ted begins wailing again and my tears continue. Just as I am about to set the pump down the door flies open, Christian comes in. His face is panicked and filled with angst.

"He won't take it Ana he won't! You need to come feed him. Please Ana feed him!"

How do I cope with his hysteria and my own? I have to get control over my emotions.

"What does your mom say Christian?" I ask wiping my tears away with the back of my hand.

"She won't listen to me Ana. He needs you." Trepidation fills his soft gray eyes. He is pleading with me, begging me. He doesn't want his son to feel hunger like he did; when I don't respond immediately he becomes alarmed.

"And you need him. Please just stop this Ana and nurse him!" Is this anger or terror? I believe both. He is desperate for me to come with him.

"Christian stop," I say abruptly, hoping to bring him out of this trance. "What did Grace say?" I ask him again speaking each word slowly.

Suddenly the crying down the hall stops pulling both of our attention away from each other.

"Go check on him Christian. I'm right here." I urge him gently.

"He needs you Ana." His voice is gentler now but still fearful.

"He needs you Christian. Go check on him."

Doubtfully he stands and leaves the room. Wiping my tears away again I finish pumping and readjust myself. Looking up I see Grace standing in the doorway. She motions for me to come with her. I follow her down the hall. She steps aside as we get to Ted's nursery door, allowing me to enter first. I don't know how long I stand there drinking in the sight in front of me. It feels like minutes or even hours. My feet are planted firmly to the floor not allowing me to move. My heart is swelling so big I feel like it might burst from my chest. Standing near the large window, bathed in the late morning sun is Christian. Ted is in his arms, his little head cupped by Christian's strong hand. His face is pink from his earlier crying which now seems to be forgotten as he nurses from the bottle.

"He just needed a little convincing." Grace murmurs from behind me. I turn and smile at her. Reaching up she wipes a single tear from my cheek.

"You all did fine Ana. He may need some more convincing until he gets the hang of it but just keep trying. Be patient. Don't force him and he will get it."

I nod, chocked by my tears at her words of encouragement.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." With that she turns and walks back down the hall.

Christian looks up and his eyes meet mine, marveling gray to blue. I can see tears on his cheeks which mirror mine. I walk over to him and lean my head on his shoulder, gazing down at our beautiful baby boy.

"I'm feeding him Ana." The statement is obvious but the wonder in his voice is amazing.

I stand on my tip toes and kiss his cheek, he turns his face down and his lips catch mine.

"I knew you could do it Daddy. All we needed was a little time."


	24. Chapter 24

**I am grateful for **the successful morning we had with Grace's help. She stayed long enough to help with one more bottle feeding before leaving. With minimal help from her Christian has fed him again and put him down for a nap. I don't know what I would do without her. She shares her knowledge with us and supports us as parents. She also understands the depths of her son's emotions and how they affect situations with Ted.

Taking my seat at my new desk I fire up my computer and set to work. Snacking on an apple with peanut butter I plow through two manuscripts making notes as I go. Roach has emailed me more suggestions from the advertising company and I look those over as well. My inbox pings with the arrival of a new email. It's from Roach. Reading through it I find out there is a meeting with the advertising company next Monday which he would like for me to be present at. This would mean almost an entire day at work. I want to do this. I smile almost giddy at the prospect actually. I've been itching to get back out there and challenge myself where my job is concerned. I email him back confirming I will be there then switch off the computer. Standing to stretch I look at the clock on the wall. Three hours of work, time has flown by this afternoon.

As I make my way down the hall I can smell enticing aromas from the kitchen. Gale is cooking something delicious again. I peak through Ted's door to check on him. He's still asleep. I cannot resist tip toeing over to watch him. His perfect hands are balled into tiny fists next to his face. I love his baby skin, so soft to the touch. Watching his tummy rise and fall with each breath he takes and hearing his sighs and grunts fill my heart with tender love. He begins to stir and sleepy gray eyes open to meet mine.

"Hey baby boy. Are you waking up from your nap?"

He blinks sleepily at me and his bottom lip comes out into a little pout.

"There there…" I whisper to him, picking him up I take him for a change then settle in my rocking chair. I yearn to feed him. Watching Christian feed him has been a blessing. I am elated that he was able to do that for our son but I ache for the bond Ted and I have when I nurse him. It's an indescribable euphoric feeling, feeding him from my body. I slip my shirt up, unsnap my bra and help him to latch. He eagerly drinks from my breast. I remember Grace saying that he may eat more when I breast feed him once he has started taking bottles part time.

"Grandma was right wasn't she Ted? You're hungry." I put my finger in his strong grasp and he rests our hands together against my breast.

Strong familiar fingers brush down my cheek. "Wake up Mommy."

The words stir me from my slumber. I must have dozed off while feeding Ted. This has never happened, I had no idea I was so tired. Blinking my eye lids open I see Christian kneeling in front of me. The collar of his white linen shirt reveals a hint of dark chest hair. _Mmm, I drink in the sight of him._ Ted is still eating so I couldn't have been asleep for more than a few minutes.

"I didn't realize I was so tired. I can't believe I dozed off." I yawn and rub my eyes.

"How long did you work this afternoon?" He continues to stroke my cheek.

"Three hours. I guess it wore me out more than I thought."

Ted begins to stir away from me. "Come on little man, time to burp."

"Let me baby." He lifts him from arms and sits back on the rug with him.

I roll my shoulders and stretch. I feel so stiff and tired. I guess that's what I get for falling asleep in a rocking chair. "I'm going to go have a hot shower before dinner."

"Would you rather I bring dinner up to you instead of eating downstairs?"

I hate to be lazy but that sounds good right now. "Yes, thank you."

I stand and pull my shirt back down then go down the hall. A hot shower will make me feel better.

Christian and I sit crossed legged in our bed eating chicken pot pie Mrs. Jones has cooked for us. Undoubtedly this is one of my favorite meals she makes. It is comforting and warm in my belly. My hair is wrapped in a towel and I am cozy in my white fluffy robe. These serene intimate moments with just my husband and I are some of my favorites.

"How did work go this afternoon?" He asks pulling me from my thoughts.

"Good." I say between mouthfuls. "Roach asked me if I can come in on Monday for a meeting with the advertising agency."

"I can do that for you Ana, there's no need for you to go in."

"I want to go Christian. I miss challenging myself at work, it's just one day. Baby steps remember?"

He sighs and shakes his head looking down at his bowl. I know he's struggling_. Give him a few minutes Ana. _I tell myself. He's come so far but still has so far to go. He's relinquished but yet achieved so much in such a short amount of time. I decide on a change of subject, I can see if I don't this might turn into a disagreement.

"Do you have any appointments this week other than work?"

I'm hinting at Flynn. I desperately want him to share with Flynn his accomplishments and feelings about feeding Ted. I don't want to come right out and say it though.

He just stares at me. "Friday I am going to Kate's baby shower at her work."

"I have an appointment with Flynn tomorrow if that's what you're asking. Would you like to come with me?"

"Only if you want or need me too." Why is he so disquieted by the subject?

He reaches for my hand. "I would like for you too. I need to talk about how I feel about your going back to work."

This is a moment suspended in time. I am shocked but almost delighted by his admission to me. Admitting his need to talk and work this out is an enormous measure for him to take.

"Ok. I'll be there."

"I'll come home before the appointment to pick you and Ted up. Maybe we can eat afterwards?"

"Maybe I can leave Ted here with Gail and she can feed him, give us some time together?" I suggest.

"Ana, I know I'm feeding him but I still have you here in the case that he refuses you are here to feed him. He's not ready for you to leave him when he needs to eat."

I know that in reality it is Christian who is not ready for me to leave Ted. Gail and Ted would be fine. I need to respect his reservations though, I can give him this.

"We'll be waiting for you then." Leaning up I kiss his lips. He sets our bowls aside and snakes his arms around my body. He begins trailing kisses from my ear down my neck.


	25. Chapter 25

*I promise there is more coming ASAP. I know I'm kinda leaving you hanging but I had to take a break from it.*

**Ted and I are waiting** in the foyer when Christian arrives the next afternoon. When I see his car coming down the drive I walk out onto the portico. Taylor leaves the driver side and opens the back door of the SUV allowing me to put Ted in is seat. Meanwhile Christian opens the passenger side door for me. After speaking a few words to Taylor, who turns to go in the house, he gets in the SUV and the three of us are off to Flynn's office. The drive is quiet and taut. I can tell Christian is anxious about the session ahead of us. I share the same sentiment.

We are ushered into Flynn's office immediately by his secretary, office assistant? I'm not sure what to call her but she is kind as usual and greets us warmly. Ted is nuzzled against me in my wrap sleeping soundly.

"Good to see you Christian, Ana." He shakes each of our hands briefly and motions for us to sit.

"And how is Ted doing today?" Dr. Flynn smiles as he glances at Teddy.

"He's doing well." I return his smile as I take seat on one of the green couches.

Christian sits next to me, taking my hand in his he rubs his thumb across my knuckles. Is he trying to calm me or himself? I'm not sure but I know I am edgy and I'm positive I show it.

Dr. Flynn picks up his notepad and pen and sits in a chair across from us. "Christian asked if you could accompany him today Ana." He turns to Christian. "Have you spoken with Ana in regard to your concerns which have brought us here today?"

I feel him tense and squeeze my hand. "I have approached the subject with Ana on various occasions."

I feel like we're dancing around the bush here, not quite getting to the point of the matter even though we all know what it is. Someone is going to have just spit it out. It might as well be me.

"He has hesitations about me returning to work. He is concerned that Ted won't eat without me there and is afraid Ted will be hungry." I don't glance at Christian. I keep my eyes fixed on Dr. Flynn.

"Is what Ana is saying an accurate account of how you feel Christian?"

"Yes." His voice is quiet. I feel his eyes on me but keep my stare straight.

"Dr. Flynn, we are working with Grace to transition Ted to part time bottle feeding. As I'm sure you are aware she is our pediatrician."

Flynn scribbles something down on his notepad then looks at Christian.

"How is that going Christian, your mom helping you both with him?"

"Well."

Why the brief concise answers? I know he's holding something back. I'm not prepared for his next words though.

"I don't want for Ted to be neglected by his mother. Ana does not need to work. Ted needs his mother to care for him." His tone of voice is flat.

It's like the wind has been knocked out of me. I sit there stunned and feel like the room is spinning, my head is spinning. Ted begins to stir and instinctively I pull my hand from Christian's to comfort my baby. Even Flynn seems momentarily dismayed by Christian's sudden disclosure.

To the doctors credit he seems to gather his wits, much more quickly than I can.

"And you feel that by going back to work she is neglecting Ted?"

"Well, isn't she? She won't be with him." He almost sounds accusing.

"How do you feel about this Ana?" Flynn turns to me but I can't find my words. My voice falters. How can my husband accuse me of neglecting our son? I'm angry, I'm hurt and most of all I am dismayed.

"I…I…I've never neglected our son Dr. Flynn. Grace is helping us. I want to continue feeding him. I just want to bottle feed him occasionally when I need to be at work or if I have something I need to do. I'm working from home now and I intend for it to stay that way for a while yet. I only need to go to a meeting Monday and then I have a few upcoming events to attend for my friend Kate's wedding." The words spill out of my mouth hurriedly, like I'm trying to justify and explain myself.

"You do not need to be at work Anastasia." The remark from the man sitting next to me cuts like a knife.

Determined blue eyes meet just as determined gray.

"We have been down this road a million times Christian. Do you really want to go down it again? I want to work, I like to work."

"Yes. I. Do. The last time we 'went down this road' as you call it things were different. You were not a mother then. Our son needs his mother. I want you to be with him. He needs you."

Flynn watches intently as he listens to the conversation being played out in front of him. Christian is adamant about his feelings but so am I.

"Being a mother does not mean I stop being me. I enjoy my work; it is part of who I am."

"You can work from home Ana. I just need to know that Ted is taken care of and that you are not gone to work at the cost of neglecting him."

There's that word again, neglect. I know where this comes from. I know it is from the deepest despair he has. He was neglected. I am not her though, he knows this. He has told me that I am nothing like her. Why are we going through this! Tears sting the back of my eyes and I grab a tissue from the box on the table.

"Let's take a break. You both have strong feelings on this subject." Flynn interjects.

I notice he has been jotting things down on his notepad during our entire exchange.

Taking deep breaths I try to calm myself. My heart feels like it might very well pound out of my chest. Ted starts to cry. Partly because it is time to eat and partly I know because I am flustered.

Standing I make to exit the room.

"Where are you going?" Christian exclaims.

"To feed our son Christian because I DO NOT neglect him." My voice is shaky but somehow my feet manage to carry me out of the office. I don't turn back to look at Christian's face. I need to get to the car. I need some quiet to myself for a few moments to feed my baby and calm my feelings.


	26. Chapter 26

Slowly my hands stop shaking. I'm sitting in the SUV with the engine running, nothing else is on with the exception of the air because the summer heat outside is stifling. Breathing in and out I focus on calming myself. I concentrate on the cold air blowing on my face trying to compose my feelings. Ted has finished feeding and I need to go back inside. Where are the courage and initiative I am searching for? Surely they are squashed on the floor of Flynn's office along with my feelings hurt by Christian's words. I will not run. I cannot stay here. I need to go back in. Reaching over I turn the key in the ignition to switch it off. I grasp the keys in my hand and open my door.

When I walk back in the office Flynn is talking but I don't catch his words. Christian's face is solemn and remains impassive as I take my seat again, beside him.

"Is everything alright Ana?" Flynn asks. I know he's asking if I'm ready to resume with the session. I nod my head when I really want to scream_ no it's not okay I can't do this I can't hear this anymore! _

"Ana I want you to tell me what kind of father Christian is to Ted." He picks his pen up again and props his notepad on his knee.

I glance up at my husband. "He's a wonderful father. The kind of father I always knew he would be. He loves me, he loves our son. He would do anything for us and does. He gives himself to us altruistically, without question. He loves us unconditionally." Tears threaten again. I've never spoken truer words. Christian closes his eyes, soaking in what I've said.

"Christian I want you to tell me what kind of mother Ana is to Ted."

I almost hear him swallow hard before he speaks.

"She's everything she just said I am."

"Do you have faith in Ana as the mother of your son?" Flynn stares at Christian, straight-faced."

"Of course I do. She cares for him. She encourages me when I doubt myself as a parent."

Abruptly Ted begins to cry. He's fussing and restless in my arms. I try to quiet him, speaking softly to him and cooing to him. I stand and begin swaying, bouncing him in my arms. The two men in the room are unobtrusive as they watch me with my baby. My efforts to calm him are futile, he continues in his protest. I turn to my husband and gently lay our son in his arms. I can sense his disbelief at my actions but I don't care. I know when I fail to comfort Ted that Christian can. Almost instantly the cries cease as Christian cradles our son in his arms. His touch and the sound of his voice cooing to Ted are familiar comfort to our baby. My mind flashes back to the many nights when I would lay in bed unable to sleep because my baby boy would not stop somersaulting inside of my belly. Every time Christian would frame my swollen belly with his great strong hands, lower his lips to my stretched skin and whisper, 'quiet baby, let your mommy sleep, shhhhh'. Then he would kiss my belly gently and miraculously every single time the moving baby would still and allow me to sleep.

I shift my gaze to Flynn who is watching us and I swear I see the slight hint of a smile playing on his lips. Finally Dr. Flynn speaks.

"I would like for you both to talk in more detail about your viewpoints on each other's parental roles as individuals. Also what you need from each other to support you and help you be confident in your parenting choices. I would like to meet with you both again next week."

I nod and Christian speaks. "I'll call to make the appointment."

With that Flynn stands and escorts us out of his office.

We don't go to dinner, we just go home. I don't question Christian about his decision as we merge onto I-5. I know he needs to be home with us, to soak in everything that has happened between us this afternoon. He may never tell me but I recognized the panic in his voice when I walked out of Flynn's office to feed Ted. I've heard that nature of trepidation in his voice before. If even for a split second he was alarmed that I was leaving him. I don't know how to comfort him and right now I don't know if I can find the desire. I need time too. We need to talk and deep down I know we will. I just pray that it is sooner rather than later. What we need to do to put the ghost of his mother to rest is a mystery to me but I recognize that it needs to happen. For him to not doubt me as a parent, for him to not doubt himself as a parent, it has to happen.


	27. Chapter 27

**I walk past my** bedroom door, down the stairs and keep going until I am at the door to the pool. I need time away to think and being active will allow me to do that. Taking one of my black suits off of the hanger in the shower room I quickly discard my clothes and slip into it. The concrete surrounding the pool is smooth and cool beneath my feet. Standing at the edge I hold my breath and dive in. Warm water surrounds me, cleansing me, grounding my thoughts. I begin swimming laps in the pool, back and forth from one end to the other. I don't know how many laps I make because I lose count. I swim until I am exhausted and can swim no more. At that moment I just float, letting the water carry my weight. I can only hear my breathing and my thoughts. Closing my eyes I surrender to the peaceful feeling which I have been longing for all day.

**When I make my **way back upstairs I find that Christian is not in our bedroom. I go into my bathroom to brush out my wet hair and tie it back. Hanging the robe I wore up from the pool on the back of the door I reach for my gray satin nightdress and slip it over my head. The bedroom is still vacant with dark shadows being cast as the last ginger glimmers of daylight whisper through the massive window. My feet pad quietly down the hall against the wood floor. Upon walking into the nursery my eyes dart from Ted's crib where he lies quietly sleep to my rocking chair where my husband sits hunched over, his head in his hands. I can hear Come Thou Fount playing softly from the speakers near the crib as I take in the picture before me. Slowly I step to where Christian is sitting and place my hand on top of his head. Running my fingers through his tousled burnished copper locks I silently wait for him to acknowledge my presence.

Unexpectedly his puts his arms around my waist burying his face against my stomach. He embraces my body like this for an endless amount of time. Finally I sink to my knees in front of him, putting myself at his level. He frames either side of my face with his hands and leans his lips to mine.

"I am so sorry Ana." His voice is hoarse with unshed tears. "I didn't mean it. I never should have said those words to you."

"I know." I soothe him and press my mouth to his. His warm lips coax mine apart as his tongue brushes against mine. A whimper escapes my throat as he deepens the kiss, holding my face in his hands. My stomach flips and flutters and I can feel that oh-so familiar feeling deep inside of me.

He breaks away, breathing hard.

"We need to talk." I mutter against his lips.

"I know." He kisses me again. "Come Mrs. Grey; let's go to bed so we don't wake our son."

I lie in bed as Christian changes in his pajama bottoms. Pulling back the covers he crawls in beside me and draws me to his side. I place my hand against his chest, the hairs tickle my palm. His heart beats a steady rhythm beneath my fingers. I feel him kiss the top of my head then he sighs before speaking.

"I know my feelings groundless Ana. I know that you will never be neglectful of our son, that's not who you are." He lifts my chin with his index finger. "You are a devoted mother to him, I could not ask for more."

"Christian, I…" My bottom lip trembles, I need to ensure him I am already aware of what he is saying.

"No Ana. Let me finish. Flynn and I talked while you were out of the room. I was so scared when you walked out, scared for a brief second that you were leaving. My need to keep you with Ted, it's because my mother was not with me."

"I know."

"You do?"

"I know you better than anyone, remember?"

He sighs again, a slight smile hints at the corners of his beautiful lips. "I do."

"Tell me what I can do to help you feel more secure Christian. I want to work from home but I want to be able to go out sometimes."

His grip around my body tightens. "I don't know what to do Ana. I need to move past this but I don't know how."

"Going to see Flynn was a start. We can have Gail help me feed him while I am here."

"Yes. I suppose we can."

"I'm here for you and Ted, always." Sitting up I lean over him and kiss him again. His hands glide down my body, my satin gown sliding against my skin. Melodic moans escape from my lips but are swallowed by his kisses. Entrenched in the back of my mind are unresolved thoughts. I know we have not overcome the real issue at hand here, the only thing we have accomplished his him apologizing to me for earlier. Surely he still has those fears and feelings though, they cannot be squashed so easily. My inner contemplations stay my desires and I feel myself slipping away from the moment.

I move back, laying my head on my pillow. Turning his body towards mine Christian follows me nipping and kissing at my neck.

"Christian…I need…to talk. We need to talk."

His tongue runs down to my chest, his hands drift across my breasts. "I need you Ana."

I turn on my side but his hands continue to travel down hitching up my nightdress, stroking me there.

"No." I struggle between my mind and my body moving away from him.

"What do you want from me Anastasia? I don't know what to do."

"I want you to stop comparing me to your birthmother."

"I know you are not her Ana. We've been here before." He runs his hand through his hair, his frustration growing.

"What you said earlier, it cut so deep Christian. I was sick from your words. I need time."

I swallow, carefully contemplating my next words.

"You need closure from your birthmother."

"Anastasia she is dead. How much more closure can I get?"

"We can go to her grave."

His eyes grow wide and dark. _Oh God, should I have gone there?_ My subconscious glares at me; this is asking a lot of him.

"Why on earth would you ask that of me?" I jump at the tone of his raised voice.

"Christian Grey do not yell at me. It is just a suggestion. Please think about it, talk with Flynn about it."

At that moment I hear little sighs and grunts coming from the baby monitor. I listen closely but they quiet. Turning my face back to Christian I begin to speak but he stops me.

"Aren't you going to check on him?"

"He's fine Christian, he's asleep, he was just moving around. Please just think about it. I think…"

Before I can get another word out of my mouth he is out bed storming down the hall to the nursery. Untangling my legs from the sheets I hastily follow him. I run down the dark hall and enter the doorway; Christian is standing over the crib where Ted is still blissfully sleeping. I reach down and touch my swaddled baby's cheek.

"See? He's still asleep, just dreaming maybe." I murmur, careful not to wake him. With the press of the button on Ted's music player the first notes of a lullaby fill the room.

I place my hand in Christian's and he allows me to lead him from the nursery.

"I'm sorry Ana, I thought…" He sits down on the edge of our bed putting his head in his hands. "I'll talk with Flynn about what you said. Just please Ana, I need you."

His face is still buried in his hands, he cannot see me. I slowly slip the straps of my nightdress off my shoulders allowing it to fall to the floor. I reach around and pull the hair tie from my locks and let them spill over my shoulders, curling at my swollen breasts. Placing my hands on his wrists I pull them away from his face. He looks up at me and I hear his gasp of adoration.

"Love me Christian, all of me. Possess every inch of me." My voice is breathy and unwavering.

He stands, discards his pajama bottoms and pulls me down on the bed with him. His kisses are insistent and demanding. My body craves his touch as his warm lips and strong hands travel down my neck, kissing each nipple in turn, down my stomach, my thighs, my legs, my toes. I am on fire, every part of my body singing for him. Abruptly he flips me over and continues his journey. This time moving up from my toes, the back of my shins, my behind, my back and finally he nips at my neck again.

"Your skin is so soft Ana, so flawless." He murmurs against my neck, his breath hot and I can feel his need for me pressing against my behind.

He pushes my legs up beneath me and positions himself. "Christian!" I call out. He was made for me, we fit each other perfectly. He bends over my body continuing to embrace me as my body shudders, crying out at his onslaught. I want him. I want this. I will never have my fill of him. I can feel myself building deep inside. My toes curl as my legs stiffen. _Oh, God and still he continues on. _I cry out loudly as my body grips his. "Oh Ana! My Ana!" He screams and stills behind me. I collapse on the bed, feeling numb but tingling at the same time. Christian lies next to me and pulls my body to his once more. We don't speak. I don't think I can find any words right now. They are all scattered around the room with my shrieking cries lost a few moments ago, veiled in the darkness.


	28. Chapter 28

*Ok Ladies. I am approaching a subject here that was briefly touched on at the end of Fifty Shades Freed. I realize this might be a little controversial but I am keeping with the original ideas set forth by Mrs. James. Bear with me. I realize it might be a little shocking.*

**Gurgling sounds and whimpers **from Ted meet my ears from the monitor. I glance at the clock, midnight. Rubbing my eyes I struggle out of bed. Christian's arm is drapped over my breasts now aching to nurse Ted. I reach for my nightdress, still on the floor where I discarded it earlier and slipping it on I make my way down the hall.

"Come here sweet baby, let Mommy feed you." I lift Ted from his crib and slip my strap down immediately allowing him to nurse. Serene tranquility fills my body as he begins to suckle. I lack this feeling of motherly bliss I have grown so accustomed to when Ted is fed from a bottle. My body longs for this bond we have shared together during these two short months. Sitting in my rocking chair I hum to myself, rocking back and forth. His tiny baby hand grasps my breast, so warm and so small against my skin.

Ted finishes and I sit him on my lap, grasping his face between my thumb and index finger I encourage him to burp. I love his grunts of refusal, so determined to argue with me but I always win getting the little burp from him. I giggle and smile to myself each time. So strong willed just like his parents.

"Okay little man, change, swaddle and back to bed for you."

Before I know it he is out like a light again so I can get back to bed myself. I wonder if all new mommies have as good of a baby as my little Ted is.

Christian stirs as I come through the bedroom door. He reaches out searching for me sleepily. When he doesn't find me he sits up suddenly.

"Ana!"

I rush to his side.

"I'm here, I just went to feed Ted." I soothe him, touching his face. I slip my nightdress off again and slip into bed. He touches my face with his hand and his mouth covers mine. His kiss is aggressive and greedy. His tongue commands mine, the feeling is divine.

"Is he alright?" He breathes against my mouth.

"Fine, he's asleep."

Christian groans again and guides me down until I am on my back. His body moves over mine as his mouth claims mine once more. "I cannot get enough of you." My hands move to his hair and cocoon his head against my body as his lips move down my neck to my breasts.

He needs so much from me. He is in need of a lifetime of love and nurturing to fill the void left by his birthmother. I run my fingers through his hair as he continues to kiss nip my breasts. I hear him groan in appreciation as his mouth closes over my nipple.

"Christian?" I call out in sudden shock, I feel my milk. He has always been careful not to linger at my breasts since Ted has been born but this time he has remained there longer. Deep down I feel flutters in my belly. _He is nursing from me. Is this wrong? This must be wrong. _My mind is in a tailspin. He lifts his face to meet mine. I swallow hard looking in his eyes.

"I need to pump, my milk is flowing."

"I know. Please don't Ana, I don't mind."

_What? _My subconscious is screaming at me in my head. I want to scream too. This is almost humiliating to me but as I gaze at his face I know it is not to him.

"You…want to?" I stutter out the words.

"I've wanted to taste your milk for some time. Please Ana, let me."

I'm speechless by what he has admitted to me. I stroke my fingers through his hair. Can I do this for him? Should I do this for him? So many questions are swimming through my mind I can't keep up with them all. His eyes are pleading; I nod my head slowly and watch as he cups my breast gently with both of his hands. Returning his mouth to my nipple he begins to suckle and I can feel my milk letting down for him. Christian is immersed in the jubilation he is receiving from nursing at my breast. A peaceable calm washes over me as well. I am giving him something he requires, a need not met in his early years. Am I meeting a need in me as well, a need to make him feel cherished and safe perhaps?

He continues for many minutes until I feel that both of my breasts have been emptied. I feel him nuzzle me before moving back up to stare into my eyes. His hand strokes my forehead and a kisses my lips softly. I'm sure the look on my face gives away my confusion but he says nothing about it.

"Thank you Ana."

I am stunned and again wordless. He pulls me close to his body and cuddles me until I drift back asleep. Thinking of what we have just done.


	29. Chapter 29

*Thank you all for your thoughtful comments about the last chapter. You certainly have made approaching the subject a lot easier. Look for more on it as the story goes on. I plan to take this to the date of August 4th 2012, Kate's Wedding Date. This chapter is currently July 20th 2012.*

**The alarm clock buzzes **with the morning news and traffic. Sunlight filters in our room stirring me awake. I stretch feeling rested and content. My mind quickly darts back to the occurrences of last night. I shift my body to face Christian. His soft gray eyes are watching me intently.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Hi." He smiles and leaning in touches my lips with his briefly.

"Ted's still asleep?"

"Hmm…I haven't heard a peep out of him." He nudges against me suggestively nuzzling my neck and running his tongue over my skin.

"I have the bridal shower at Kate's work today. I need to be there by eleven."

"I'll go in late and take you. You're taking Ted?" He continues nibbling me.

"Yes, I was going to. Kate was planning to leave work early after the shower. Maybe Ted and I can spend some time with her."

"Sounds good, call me when you are ready and I'll come to pick you two up." His lips move further down my body.

"Christian, I need to go feed Ted and pump." Pushing my hands against his shoulders I shift him away from me.

"He's still asleep, just a few minutes Mrs. Grey." He pushes towards me again.

My mind is still reeling from last night. I don't want him to do that again right now, I need to feed my baby. His eyes search mine, waiting for my decision.

"I'm not going to do what I did last night right now Ana. I'll only do that after you have fed him. "

He answers the question to my unspoken thoughts.

"Why did you?" I blurt it out; it has been at the fore front of my thoughts.

"I crave intimacy with you Ana; I've told you that before. I can't get enough of you; I'll never have my fill of your body. Did it bother you? Would you rather I didn't do it again?"

I feel the stubble of his unshaven face against my fingers. It tickles and scratches my fingers as I contemplate his profession. How did I feel about it? I remember being confused and hesitant. I also remember feeling peaceful and the flutters deep down in my belly. _Oh my._ I felt connected with him on some unfathomable level and now he is telling me that he felt the same.

"No. I didn't mind." I flush a deep color of crimson spreads across my cheeks. "I just felt like it was…wrong." _I squirm, why am I so uncomfortable talking about this with him. I've done all manners of kinky fuckery with this man._

"Why would it be wrong? If we both want to do it and we both find it pleasurable then there is nothing wrong with it. You are my wife Anastasia, I want for us to enjoy each other. Do not let what you may think other people's perception on the subject may be hinder what you feel. This is our private life, no one else's."

I continue to stare at him, taking in his words. He is very earnest in his beliefs about the intimacy and privacy of our relationship, he always has been. He moves his body over mine, parting my legs with his knee. Taking my face in his hands he kisses me with affection and devotion.

"It made me feel cherished and secure Ana. You provide all of those things for me."

I move my face towards his and catch his lips with mine again. I nip his lower lip slightly with my teeth and smile.

"You are precious to me Christian and you make me feel cherished and secure."

He groans deep in his chest and kisses me once more, sliding himself inside of me as he does, yielding me with his fullness. I let out a diminutive cry and am soon lost in the urge to move, our bodies composed together as one.

**It is near 11 o'clock** when Ted and I arrive at Kate's office in the Times building. Katherine Kavanaugh, well soon to be Grey, has realized her dream of being a journalist. No one can get the story quite like Kate can. I can't help but be proud of her. She has worked tirelessly to achieve this dream.

"Ana!" She exclaims when she sees me appear at the door. She is on her feet and comes from behind her desk to hug me.

I set Ted in his carrier on the floor beside me and embrace my friend.

"The girls have everything set up in the employee lounge. They've really gone all out." She beams at me.

"Are you all set to head over then?"

"Yep, just let me shut down my computer and we'll go. They haven't let me see the room yet. They wanted to keep it a secret."

Kate shuts down her computer and files away some papers. Her office is cozy but has a wonderful view of downtown. Hanging on the walls are her diploma and a few pictures of she and Elliot together.

"All set. And how's my beautiful little nephew today?" She bends down to tickle Ted under his chin.

"Doing well, growing too fast."

She picks up his carrier for me and we talk as we head to join her shower.

Kate's co-workers have gone all out. The food is delicious, the cake is the best. It is a white cake with raspberry filling and buttercream frosting, divine. The girls are all talkative, we play a few games and Kate opens her gifts. Her gifts range from kitchen gadgets to even some sexy lingerie, the giggles which erupt from the latter are hilarious. Jen, the hostess of the party, has arranged for everyone to write a recipe on a recipe card to put in a box for Kate as a memento of her party. I choose to share my chocolate cake recipe; a favorite of Christian's and hopefully his brother will like it too. I nudge Kate and wink as everyone fills out their cards. Between the two of us we know she is no Giada in the kitchen.

When the shower comes to an end Kate thanks everyone as their share their well wishes. A few of the ladies help her carry the packages down to her car and we bid them goodbye.

"So, is Christian coming to pick you up or do you two have time to join Aunt Kate for lunch?" Kate asks shutting the trunk to her car.

"We're in no hurry. Lunch sounds great. Can I leave his carrier in your car?"

"Sure."

I take put my wrap on and place Ted in it. "Where would you like to go?"

"There is a new Chinese place I have been dying to try."

"Let's go then."

Kate and I walk down the sidewalk enjoying the day and each other's company.

"We'll have two portions of the Singapore Street Noodles and water with lemon to drink, please." Kate says placing our order. I am busy fussing with Ted who is fussing with me because he is hungry. He quiets as he begins to enjoy his lunch as well. I peek at him through the nursing cover and he is content.

Kate fiddles nervously with her napkin wrapped silverware. This is the first time she and I have been alone since the talk we had at the Greys a few weeks ago.

"Ana, I want to apologize if I offended you in anyway at lunch that day. What you do with Ted is your business, its none of mine. I just wanted to suggest options."

"Thank you Kate." I reach across the table and grasp her hand in mine. I love my best friend. "Incidentally we have begun bottle feeding him part time and it is going well. I really do want to be able to enjoy your bachelorette party with you."

She smiles back at me, seeming much more at ease now that we have begun talking.

"I really wish I knew what you and Mia have planned for me but whatever it is I know it's going to be great!"

Our food arrives and we dig in. Both of us are hungry, the snacks and cake we nibbled on at the shower wore off on our walk here.

Ted and I walk with Kate back to her car. I called Christian before we left the restaurant and he is meeting us there. On the walk back Kate mentions going to the Grey's for lunch tomorrow. Apparently Elliot called her about it this morning, I am sure Christian will say something to me this evening. I think this will be the perfect occasion for us to ask Kate and Elliot to be Ted's Godparents. My heart is filled with excitement at the idea. I hope Kate is as thrilled as I am.

Christian is leaning against the Audi SUV waiting for us as we approach the car. I tell Kate goodbye and after a quick hug and 'hi' to Christian she climbs in her car. He leans down to kiss me and touches Ted's face.

"I missed you two today."

"We missed you too Daddy."

He helps me put Ted's carrier back in and places him in it while I get in myself.

He pulls out into traffic flipping on his iPod before glancing over at me.

"My Mom called this morning and invited us to lunch tomorrow."

"Yes, Kate mentioned something about that."

"How would you feel about staying in Seattle tonight at Escala instead of driving back to the house?"

"Ted's things are at home though." We haven't stayed at Escala since Ted was born. He has a nursery there as well but not many of his clothes or baby necessities.

"Gail packed a few bags for him and sent Taylor with them. He dropped them off today. I've given him and Gail the weekend off. I believe they have plans to go away together for a few days."

"Oh, I don't mind then. Sounds fine to me."

He reaches over and squeezes my knee then runs his hand up to my thigh squeezing it too.

"Once our son is asleep tonight I look forward to sometime with you."

My eyes quickly dart up to meet his darkening gaze. My inner goddess is has nothing on but the pom poms in her hands and she is cheering very loudly. Playroom Playroom Playroom!

My mouth has gone dry. It has been so long, too long. My insides are already melting with excitement.


	30. Chapter 30

*Playroom Girls! Let me know what you think!*

**Christian pulls the SUV **in our spot in the parking deck. He comes around and opens my door and gets Ted out in his carrier as I gather his bag and my purse. I push the button for the elevator and the doors slide open. As we walk in Christian sets Ted down and taps the code for our apartment in the keypad, the elevator begins his smooth ascent to the top floor. I find myself almost nervous returning here to Escala. We haven't been here since the night I went into labor. Christian insisted that we stay in Seattle during the last month of my pregnancy so that we would be closer to the hospital. I vividly remember my last night here. I had been having small contractions on and off all day but nothing substantial enough to worry me. Braxton Hicks contractions had become a daily part of life for a few weeks at that point. As a stepped out of my shower that night my water broke though, then I knew it was the real thing. The look of panic and excitement mixed together which flashed across Christian's face as he realized our blip was on his way will forever be etched in my mind. "Is it time Ana? Is he coming now?" Were all the words he could find, I couldn't find any. I just nodded my head and beamed back at him a smile mixed with the same anxious emotions he was having too. He made quick work of getting my bags, calling his family and having Taylor drive us to the hospital. I was almost unable to convince him let me dress in something other than my night clothes before going to the hospital. He was so anxious for me and for little blip.

Looking down at my baby now here, gazing up at me from his carrier makes me smile. We left here with him still in my belly that night and now we are back with him here with us. The elevator pings and the doors open and Christian picks him up entering the foyer.

"Welcome home Ted." I whisper to him.

I catch Christian's grin out of the corner of my eye. "The last time we left here together was when we were on our way to meet you." He says proudly to his son as he ushers me through the corridor and into the great room.

We spend our afternoon playing with Ted, reading, talking and generally enjoying each other's company. It seems normal and I am grateful for the time. Christian sits on the off-white couch in front of the fireplace reading the paper and I sit on the floor with Ted. I tickle his tummy to get laughs, smiles and gurgles from him. He loves to try and grasp his ring toys I hold for him and delights in any music his different toys make. His baby gray eyes sparkle up at me, absorbing my every move and facial expression.

"I love watching him play." Christian puts down the paper and joins us on the floor.

"Me too," Ted begins to fuss for his dinner. "Someone is getting hungry." I pick him up and open my blouse for him. "Actually I'm getting hungry too."

"Taylor picked a few things up for us at the store. Shall I see what we have to eat?" Christian stands and moves across the vast room to the kitchen.

The shear palatial size of this room still overwhelms me just like it did the first time I was here.

"How does chicken caesar salad sound?" Christian calls from the kitchen.

"Delicious." I call back to him.

I hear the cabinets opening, the refrigerator door and the clattering of utensils as he prepares our dinner. I'm sure Gail instructed Taylor to buy everything prepared for the most part so all Christian has to do is put the salad together. He's not much of a cook in the kitchen, but he has his moments. Before long he appears holding a try with two plates of salad, a glass of white wine and another with water and lemon.

"Dinner Mrs. Grey," He smirks at me with a playful look in his eyes.

"Thank you Sir." I smirk right back at him, look up through my lashes.

Placing the tray on the floor between us he leans over and holds my chin between his fingers.

"So you want to play that game do you Mrs. Grey?"

"I'd like to play any game you'd like to play Sir." I address him again. His lips catch mine and a have to catch my breath. His kiss is brief but holds a vast promise for tonight. "Will you bring me a few of Ted's blankets while I burp him? I'm going to let him lie next to us while we eat."

After dinner Christian takes Ted to get him ready for bed. I clean the dishes and the kitchen then go to the nursery. Christian is still bathing Ted so I take the time to unpack the bags Gail has sent for Ted and pump my breasts. I want to build a good supply so he will have enough for next weekend. Once Ted is tucked in bed Christian takes my hand and leads me from the nursery. He pushes me against the wall once we are in the hallway.

"Be ready in the playroom in 10 minutes Mrs. Grey. I have plans for you tonight." He growls and nips my ear before leaving me wanting. He turns leaves making his way towards our bedroom.

I stand there with my chest heaving and my stomach has dropped to the floor, he wasted no time. I wonder if this was the real reason for coming back here tonight. Quickly I walk into the guest bath and divulge myself of my clothes. Leaving only my black lace panties on I go into the playroom. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror I notice my cheeks are flushed and my eyes are bright. All definitely part of the Christian Grey affect. I reach for the brush in the drawer and flip my head down, brushing the underside of my hair. Looking back in the mirror I brush it a few more times until it is full and alluringly falls against my soft full breasts.

**Kneeling by the door** in the playroom I raise my head for a few moments to take in the familiar sights and smells. The faint citrus scent, the muted light and the blood red walls. All of these things tease and tantalize my senses. I hear the door open and turn my head down looking at my hands spread on my thighs. I see Christian's bare feet standing in front of me and my heart skips a beat, we are here…again.

"You may stand Anastasia." His voice is low and commanding.

I stand and my eyes run up his body to meet with his, dark and smoldering. _Oh, those jeans._ I reach my trembling hand forward and touch him with the tips of my fingers where the button is undone. The hair of his oh-so happy trail tickles at my fingertips when I touch him. He beams at me with wicked delight.

"Do you like what you see Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes Sir." I swallow instinctively as he turns me around quickly braiding my hair and fastening it with a tie I hadn't noticed around his wrist. He pulls my head back gently tugging my braid and trails kisses down my neck.

"What shall I do to you?" He asks and walks to the chest. "Walk over to the couch Anastasia and wait for me there."

My heart is in my throat, it has been so long since I've done any of this. We've engaged solely in plain old vanilla since Ted's birth. I can't hide my longing for something a little more, _us._

I stand behind the low couch waiting for Christian. I don't turn my head to see what he is doing even though I desperately want to. I hear the sound system hiss and pop, familiar. A piano piece is soon filling the room. The drawer closes and soon he is behind me.

"I want you to tell me if anything is too much. It has been a long time since we have been here. Do not hesitate to communicate with me. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

He produces four deep red silk scarves, matching the color of the walls.

"You won't need these." He says and slowly slides my panties down my legs; I steady myself by holding onto the low back of the soft couch and step out one foot at a time. "Spread your legs."

I do so and he bends tying my left ankle to the left rear leg of the couch and my right ankle to the right rear leg of the couch. As he rises he runs his tongue up my calves, my thighs and circles me _there. _I let out a soft moan and he continues to rise.

"Now bend over and the couch and grab the front legs." _Oh? Can I do this? _My inner goddess nods eagerly encouraging me, yes we can do this. I find that I can and grasp the legs with my hands. Christian moves in front of me and effectively ties my wrists to the front legs with the silk scarves just as he tied my ankles to the back legs. I am spread eagle bending over the low backed chesterfield sofa, completely at his mercy and he is wholly in his element seeing me submit my body to him in this way.

His hands begin caressing me with warm oil and it feels heavenly. He concentrates on my back and behind rhythmically moving his hands, applying pressure at just the right spots to relax me. The feeling is blissful.

"So ready Mrs. Grey." He breathes as his fingers circle and dip inside of me.

I feel my breasts swelling becoming achingly tender at his intimate touch. I let out a small whimper and surrender myself to actions of his fingers. I am so close and I feel my milk begin to emanate.

"Christian…I" My voice is a hoarse whimper.

"Hush baby, I've got you. I'll take care of you."

He removes his fingers and moves around to the front of the couch. Kneeling in front of me he lifts my face to meet his. "So beautiful Mrs. Grey," He kisses me gently and rolls my nipples between his fingers, encouraging my breasts to let down. "I'm going to make you come like this when I'm done."

When he's done? Oh. My. God. He kisses me once more, kneading my tongue with his.

Standing he moves back behind me and I hear the sound of his zipper. Soon he is filling me and I want to move my body to meet his onslaughts but I am bound to the couch by the silken scarves. I scream wordlessly as he pounds on and on. The scarves are soft against my skin, holding me to the couch, holding me to him. If it weren't for the couch holding me up I am sure I would collapse. The pleasure, I haven't felt anything like it, this intense for so long.

"Anastasia, yes, let go for me." And I do. Screaming I am out of my mind with the feeling racking my body. He stills and mirrors my cries.

Suddenly he is in front of me and untying my wrists so that I can stand again. My shoulders are stiff but standing upright feels good. He moves so that he is kneeling on the couch in front of me. I gasp as I look down to see my milk flowing down my body. The sharp intake of breath from Christian tells me he is pleased by what he sees. He moves his tongue from my belly up to my nipples, lapping and sucking as he goes. He groans with unadulterated carnal pleasure as his mouth closes over my left breast. He cups my entire breast in both of his hands just as he did before and begins to suckle me. But this time it feels different. It feels erotic and sexual. I don't know if he is doing it differently or if it is the moment we are in but the feeling is mind blowing. With my legs still spread and bound I am powerless to move or stop what is brewing deep inside of me. He moves to my other breast and begins to suckle it with the same intensity and my body erupts suddenly.

"Christian!" I cry out his name but he doesn't stop. As soon as the feeling begins to numb my body explodes again and again. Three…Oh My God. My inner goddess is nowhere to be seen, I think even she is in shock by what is happening to my body.

My body begins to come down from the heights it has climbed and I feel myself shuddering uncontrollably. Christian moves and makes quick work of untying my ankles then picks me up in his arms, carrying me to the bed. I stretch out on the bed, my muscles are weary but ache to extend. He crawls in beside me and kisses me again.

"How was that Mrs. Grey?"

"Mind blowing Mr. Grey." I close my eyes, weary and exhausted. Amazing how I can use so much energy in this amount of time.

I feel him shift. "Your milk is still flowing, would you like to shower or for me to get your pump?"

I shake my head no and gaze into his eyes. I touch my soft, swollen, wet breasts with my hands. "Please Christian."

The ecstasy and delight in his eyes is evident. He cups my breast in his hands once more and his warm mouth closes over my nipple. He begins to suckle, nursing what is left of my milk. Leaning my head back against the red satin pillow I close my eyes and stroke my fingers through his hair, reveling in the subtle serenity of our intimate moment together.


	31. Chapter 31

*Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They truly mean so much to me. Your thoughtful words of appreciation and your suggestions, they all keep me thinking and on my toes. The end of this one is for my romantic ladies! You can find the song on You Tube sung my Frank Sinatra, I thought it was perfect given the occassion in this chapter.*

**I stand in the vast **closet tapping my finger against my lips. What do I want to wear today? We are going to the Grey's for lunch. I want something fun, flirty and cute. Being here for the past twelve hours has made me feel more alluring than I have felt in months. Maybe it's the experience in the playroom last night. _Hmmm… _Yes that was fun, more than fun. Or maybe it's just being here where we began our life together. I decide on a charming rose print tulle maxi dress. It's comfortable but cute and cool to wear on a warm summer day. Taking it from the hanger I slip it over my white lace panties and bra then step into my matching red flats. In the bathroom I brush my hair and pull it back into a pony tail.

Christian is sitting in the great room holding Ted in his arms when I enter.

"Look at Mommy Ted. Doesn't she look pretty?" He beams at me and crosses the room to kiss me.

"Thank you Daddy."

"Already to go?"

"Yes, are we coming back here tonight?"

"Would you like to?"

I smirk at him and wink. "Yes Sir, I would very much." I grab Ted's bag from the kitchen counter and sling the strap over my shoulder.

"Be careful Mrs. Grey, if you keep talking like that we may never make it to lunch."

**The Grey's home is **filled with family and laughter when we arrive. Much to my surprise Kate's parents are there along with Kate, Elliot, Ethan, and of course Mia. Grace greets us at the door. Ted is wide eyed and all smiles for his Grandma. She hugs us and then takes her grandson in her arms, whisking him away no doubt to show him off to everyone.

"I think we'll be hard pressed to get our son back from my Mom for the rest of the day." Christian leans down and whispers in my ear.

"She's a proud Grandma; let her have her time with him. Are we going to ask Kate and Elliot today?"

He nods and placing his hand on the small of my back guides me into the family room. I smile up at him as shivers inch up and down my spine from his touch. He kisses the tender spot behind my ear.

Lunch is served on the patio; a variety of salads and sandwiches, perfect for the weather today. I help Grace put my wrap on before we sit to eat. She is delighted to wear Teddy against her body like I do. I imagine what a good mother she must have been to her small children. Caring for them and nurturing them. She is gentle and soft with Ted and his eyes follow her every move. The conversation moves from one topic to another. Talking about the wedding, Kate's new job, Ethan's school, how my work is going and of course I answer a plethora of questions about Ted. Everyone wants to know about his first smile, does he laugh, and is he rolling over yet. I love being a part of this large family and I love that my children will have this in their lives.

When the banter lulls I take the opportunity. Looking to Christian I see him nod at me, he knows what I am about to do. I place my hand in his and give it a squeeze before I speak.

"Kate, Elliot…Christian and I have something we would like to ask of you two. Ted is the light of our lives and we could not think of any two people we would like more than you two to help us guide, love and raise him. Will you two be Ted's Godparents?"

Kate is on her feet and around the table embracing me in a hug before I know it.

"Yes Ana of course we will!"

Elliot stands and makes his way to me, hugging me after Kate. "We are honored Ana, thank you." He holds me tightly before releasing me and turning to Christian. They shake hands and pat each other on the back. Kate even hugs Christian, totally out of character. I smile inwardly to myself but cannot help to enjoy the moment.

Once everyone is seated again Ethan moves his chair away from the table, sliding across the stone patio. He clears his throat.

"Since we are all on a happy subject I'd like to add one more thing in, if I may."

I watch as he sinks to one knee in front of Mia. Her hand goes to her mouth and tears immediately pool in her eyes. I quickly glance around the table and it becomes evident why Mrs. And Mrs. Kavanaugh are here today. They both smile knowingly as do Grace and Carrick. Kate and Elliot however are like Christian and I, in complete shock.

"Mia Grey you are the light of my life. You are bubbly, energetic perfection and I love you more with every moment we spend together. I am so grateful for the day we had our first lunch date. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in every single way. Please marry me, spend the rest of your life with me Mia. I cannot live with you."

His hands are shaking and she is crying. If I'm not mistaken I see a hint of tears in Ethan's eyes as well.

"Yes Ethan. Yes I'll marry you." Mia's voice trembles with emotion and choked back tears.

He slips the gold ring with a single solitaire diamond on her delicate finger. She grasps his face in her hands and they kiss with abandonment, like no one else is watching. I blush turning to see Grace and Mrs. Kavanaugh both in tears as well. I don't realize I am crying too until I feel Christian's long fingers stroke my cheek, turning my face to his. He plants a soft chaste kiss on my mouth. I notice Elliot kiss Kate too; Carrick even gives Grace a peck on the cheek.

"To Ethan and my baby sister Mia," Christian raises his glass and everyone does the same, echoing his sentiment.

We all take turns hugging the happy couple. When Mia makes her way to me she hugs me and whispers, "Thank God for work meetings that cancel lunch dates." I giggle back at her and hug her tight. "Congratulations sis."

We stay at the Grey's late into the evening, enjoying family and company. Ted sleeps in Carrick's arms as Grace sits down at the piano. The first few notes of 'As Time Goes By' float across the family room. Mr. and Mrs. Kavanaugh push the tables and couches aside and taking hands they begin to dance. I grin watching as Ethan takes Mia in his arms and joins them. Elliot takes Kate's hand tugging her out to join them.

"I didn't know your mom played?" I lean over and whisper to Christian. We are sitting beside Carrick and Ted.

"She doesn't often, but when she does…It's magical."

He stands and holds his hand out to me. His smile is infectious and his eyes are alight with enchantment.

"Do me the honor Mrs. Grey?"

"Of course Mr. Grey." I stand and place one hand in his, the other rests on his shoulder as he arm encircles my waist. The butterflies in my stomach are swirling as we begin to move.

His breath is warm against my ear as he hums the song, nuzzling me as we dance. We glide effortless around the room. As always he makes me feel like I am on air when we move together.

"Woman needs man and man must have his mate that no one can deny." His voice is smooth as silk as he sings the words to me pulling me closer to his body. I lift my face to his and his lips catch mine, kissing me tenderly, adoringly.

I rest my cheek on his white linen shirt and breathe in his Christian smell. He is home to me. I catch Grace's eye and she winks at me, tears in her eyes. No doubt from the sight of all three of her children happy with their loved ones, beginning families of their own. The sun is beginning to set bathing the room in beautiful hues. The candles over the mantle flicker, adding to the tranquil romantic mood. I let myself go and revel in the moment with my husband and our family.


	32. Chapter 32

**We spend another night **at Escala. I am grateful for my bed when my head hits the pillow. Ted has long been asleep since we left Bellevue. He barely woke when we got home to nurse and is now sleeping peacefully in his nursery. I suspect the monitor next to my bedside will be quiet until morning. I feel the bed dip as Christian climbs in next to me pulling me towards him, my back to his front. I sigh contentedly and feel his warm breath against my neck.

"It was a perfect day wasn't it?"

"It was. I love seeing my little sister happy." He kisses my hair. "I love seeing you happy."

"You make me happy Mr. Grey."

"Back at you Mrs. Grey, sleep now it's been a long day."

His arms pull me tighter to his body and I feel his breathing begin to change as he falls asleep. The lights of Seattle twinkle and glitter outside of the massive window. I watch them and follow a few flashing red and white lights floating across the sky. Planes filled with passengers going about their lives, rushing here and there. While I lay in bed with my husband, my son down the hall, at total peace in my life. The fleeting thought of our last session with Flynn crosses my mind. We need to talk about it soon. I promise myself to approach the subject with Christian tomorrow once we are back at the big house. I must also have Gail help me feed Ted to put Christian's mind at ease before my meeting at work on Monday. My mind is so busy, spinning with thoughts but somehow sleep finally finds me and I drift off dreaming of my two men, who I love with every ounce of my being.

**The large white gates **swing open as we arrive back at the big house. Our home comes into view and I realize how much I've missed it. Being back at the apartment was nice but this is our home, where we are raising our family.

"Good to be home Mrs. Grey?" Christian raises an eyebrow at me quizzically stopping at the front of the house.

"Wonderful to be home Mr. Grey." I grin back at him. I know he can sense the peaceable feeling in my demeanor.

He switches the SUV off and turns to me, stroking my face with his fingers. I lean in and feel his soft lips graze mine. His fingers tangle in my hair. His face is still, his eyes gazing in to mine. Our eyes are locked together, neither of us moving, only breathing deeply, as we revel in this moment. Ted begins to fuss in his carseat breaking our reverie.

"I guess we have to get out." My voice is breathy.

"Hmmm…would appear so." He kisses me once again before we part to get Ted out of the car.

Gail helps to feed Ted his bottle once we are settled. As I predicted he had no problem taking the bottle from her. He loves Gail and she loves him, the bond between them is evident. She is sitting in the rocking chair with him, moving back and forth and talking to him.

"I'll go and unpack his bags while you two spend time together." I smile at her.

"Oh no Mrs. Grey, I'll do that as soon as I am done feeding him."

"I really don't mind Gail. By the way did you and Taylor have a nice weekend?"

I see her blush. "We did," she seems to grow a little nervous.

"Is everything alright Gail?"

She holds her left hand out so I can see it. The diamond ring on her finger catches my eye immediately and I gasp. "He proposed?"

"He did. He wants to be the one to tell Mr. Grey though."

"My lips are sealed, I promise." I make the motion of zipping my lips then grabbing her hands I squeal. "I am so excited for you two! There must have been love in the air this weekend. Ethan proposed to Mia on Saturday."

"That's wonderful news Ana!" She beams back at me. We talk for a few more minutes and she shares the details of the proposal. I am ecstatic for them, they are both wonderful people and I know they will be so happy together.

After putting Ted's things away I pump and put my milk away. I've been pumping for a week now and have a plentiful supply for next weekend. I wonder where Christian is taking me for our anniversary. I'm going to miss Ted like crazy but I am getting excited for our getaway. Two whole days away with Christian…mmmm...will we even get dressed during those two days? _Of course not!_ My inner goddess pipes up; she's not even packing clothes for the trip. She shakes her head at me, _nope just me and some lip gloss. _That's all she needs for the getaway. I close the fridge then go to my study, I need to square things away for my work meeting tomorrow.

My finger is on the mouse, scrolling through the meeting agenda Roach has sent to me. Maybe Christian and I can ride in together tomorrow. I need to get to work early to finish prepping for this meeting. I finish printing out the manuscript summaries I have been working on and file them in my briefcase. I can't help the twinge of excitement building inside for tomorrow. I'm ready to get back out there and work. Meeting with advertisers, seeing their plans and what they have to offer to our company has always been stimulating. I love seeing their creative ideas and deciding which best depicts Grey's Publishing. I hear footsteps down the hall and glance up. Christian strides toward me.

"Hey baby." He says.

"Hey yourself, I'm just finishing up things I need for tomorrow's meeting. Is it okay if we ride in together tomorrow?" I close my briefcase and move my chair around to face him as he kneels in front of me.

"You're sure you don't want me to take care of the meeting for you?"

I look up at the ceiling. Sighing I bring my eyes back down to him. "I want to do this Christian. Ted will be fine with Gail."

"I know," He traces his fingers over mine. "I just thought I would ask. Mom called to remind me Ted's 2 month checkup is Tuesday." He changes the subject, for which I am grateful.

"I thought I would take off work and go with you two for that."

"You don't have to Christian, we'll be fine."

"I want to." His eyes are earnest.

He has been involved with Ted since my first doctor's appointment. He has never missed one. He was especially eager for the sonogram appointment when we found out if blip was a he or she. I lay on the exam table with my dress pulled up. Dr. Greene coated my stomach in cold jelly and switched the screen on. As she moved the wand around as she showed us blips legs, arms, head and heartbeat. Christian's eyes were mesmerized, focused on the screen. I could feel his hands growing clammy in mine, shaking with nerves. "Do you want to know if you are having a son or daughter?" We looked at each other. We had talked about it and while I wanted to know Christian firmly stated that he wanted it to be a surprise. In that single moment his resolve wavered though. Silently he nodded yes and I smiled. "Yes Dr. Greene, we'd like to know." My voice was full of anticipation. "Well then Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey congratulations. You are going to have a son." My eyes filled with tears and flickered to Christian's and I saw a single tear trickle down his cheek. "A son, our son Mrs. Grey," he moved my hand to his lips. My other hand stroked his tousled hair from his forehead. "Our son Mr. Grey."


	33. Chapter 33

**Tall golden grasses sway **in the meadow, the late afternoon sun reflecting their colors. The evening breeze is warm and enfolds my body, fluttering my hair as it passes by. Scents of summer wildflowers float by, they smell heavenly. As does the picnic dinner Gail has prepared for us. Christian and I are sitting on our tartan blanket. Ted is lying between us sleeping peacefully as we enjoy our dinner. The antipasto tray with crusty artisan bread is scrumptious. I pop an olive in my mouth and swipe a slice of bread through the oil and herb dip.

"You certainly were hungry Mrs. Grey." Christian smiles, pleased I know. Leaning over he daps the corner of my mouth, wiping away a bit of olive oil, then kisses me. His lips are soft and gentle.

"I've been hungry for almost a year now you know." I smirk at him thinking about how my appetite improved during our honeymoon then soon after when I became pregnant.

"So you have…it's hard to believe we've been married for almost a year." His voice becomes meditative. What's on his mind?

"Ana, we need to talk about what happened at Flynn's office, what he asked us to talk about. We have another appointment with him Thursday."

I take a drink of my sparkling water. Setting the bottle down I knot my fingers in my lap, staring down at them.

"We do." I sigh. "Christian I understand why you feel the way you do."

"I know you do Ana, remember? You know me better than anyone."

"Christian you are a wonderful father to Ted. What can I do to better support you and make you feel secure?"

He runs his hand through his hair, pondering what his answer is going to be. His eyes shift to gaze out over the sound. The cold waters rise and fall as the wind whips over them.

"I need control Ana but trying to control you and keeping you from working is not what I should be doing. It is what I want to do and I know it would give me the control I want but it is not the solution."

"Go on…I'm listening." I urge him to continue.

"That's just it Ana, I can't find a solution. I don't know where to go from here." His eyes meet mine. I can see how they are laced with perplexity.

Taking his hands in mine I stare intently into his lost gray eyes. "There isn't a perfect answer Christian. Nothing in life is perfect, there are no guarantees. All we can do is our best and in the end that is more than enough. Our Ted has two parents who love him unconditionally and will do anything to keep him safe. That is what he needs, that is all any child needs Christian, love from their parents."

"Is it really that simple Ana?"

"It is." I smile at him.

He grasps the back of my head, pulling my lips toward his.

"You are so strong Mrs. Grey." He murmurs against my lips in between passionate kisses.

"Because I have you Mr. Grey," I trace my thumb across his bottom lip.

Sitting back he reaches in the picnic basket and produces a slice of Italian Cream Cake.

"Dessert?" He asks me, his eyes dancing.

"Yes please."

Christian removes the top of the cake dish and produces two forks from the basket. Licking my lips I can already taste the sweet cream icing and the moist cake. Of course at that moment my son seems to have different plans. His little eyes scrunch up and he balls his hands in fists beginning to fuss. I set down my fork and place my hand on his tummy attempting to soothe him while loosening my wrap dress.

"Dessert for me is going to have to wait a minute I guess." I pick Ted up and guide him to latch.

"There you go sweet baby. Mommy and Daddy were having dinner and you wanted yours too." I look up and find Christian watching me benevolently. He cuts into the slice of cake with his fork and holds a bite up to my lips. I open my mouth and eat the piece of cake from the fork. Watching him as I do…mmmm…I moan. This is so good. He cuts another bite and puts it in his mouth then the next bite goes to me. We take turns eating pieces of the cake until the last bite is gone.

Ted begins to grunt and turn away; I burp him and switch him to my other breast. He is a hungry little man this evening. Christian packs the remnants of our picnic and stretches out on the blanket next to me. I reach down and stroke his copper locks.

"I love you Ana."

A smile drifts across my lips. The sound of the wind moving through the grasses plays a lullaby for us, soothing our little family.

**We tuck our Ted **snuggly in his crib, moonlight washing across his nursery, illuminating his azure walls. I crank the mobile and turn on the lullaby music. His baby skin is soft and delicate to my touch. Christian tucks his swaddling cloth around him once more ensuring he is warm.

"Sleep well my little miracle." I whisper to him.

Christian guides me from the room with his hand on the small of my back.

"Bath or shower Mrs. Grey?"

"Bath." I slip the tie on my wrap dress and allow it to fall to the floor while Christian runs the bath. The room fills with steam, the scent of jasmine floating in the air. Stepping out of my panties I move towards Christian. Grabbing the bottom hem of his t-shirt I slip it over his head and run my hands across his chest, letting my fingers tangle in his soft dark hair. I bite my bottom lip enjoying touching my man. He bends and catches my lip with his teeth.

"I love to bite that lip." He growls against my mouth. I moan and slip my arms around his neck, urging him to kiss me deeper. His tongue dances with mine as his hands feel their way around my body, igniting my skin.

"What about my pants Mrs. Grey?" My fingers find his waist band and I unsnap his button. Bending down on my knees I slide his zipper down, kissing him as I follow the zipper. He pulls me up and kisses my lips again.

"Bath. Now." He finishes undressing himself quickly and leads me to the bath tub. The water is hot and feels delectable. I sink in the large tub allowing the water envelope my body. Christian sits opposite me and methodically massages my feet, my legs, oh this feels heavenly.

"So Mr. Grey, are you going to tell me any more about our anniversary plans?"

I pop the bubbles with my fingers, my eyes grin at him. I hope I can finagle some information out of him.

He takes my big toe in his mouth and gently bites down on it.

"Ow!" I protest.

"It's a surprise Mrs. Grey, deal with it. I'm not telling you a thing."

"Well how will I know what to pack then?" I pout, trying a different tactic.

"You won't need much. Pack light." He kisses the arch of my foot.

My inner goddess looks on nodding in agreement. _See I told you?_ She smirks at me.

I roll my eyes and sigh, defeated again.

"Don't roll your eyes Mrs. Grey, my palms are twitching."

I roll my eyes again, egging him on.

"You may stow your twitching palm Mr. Grey, unless you have the silver balls."

"Oh Mrs. Grey, trust me. I have them."

He begins rubbing my other foot. Hmmm…tonight could be interesting.


	34. Chapter 34

*Girls I have BIG plans for their anniversary. So, its Monday in this chapter. They leave on Friday for NYC to celebrate.*

**I hit the alarm** on the clock radio as the morning news wakes me. The red numbers read 6:00am and morning light is beginning to break through the window. It's early but I need to feed Ted, pump and get ready for work. Work! I am so excited about today. Turning over I see Christian coming through the door wearing his pajama pants, _oh they hang in_ _that way_ off his hips. Ted is cuddled against his chest. I can see his little fists moving about and hear his annoyed cry. I slip the covers down as Christian sits on the bed, laying Ted down alongside me.

"Breakfast time Mommy." He guides Ted to my nipple and allows him to latch.

Bright baby gray eyes stare up at me as he eats. I allow him to grasp my finger and speak to him softly. His eyes watch me intently, studying every feature of my face I think.

"Hi," Christian leans over and kisses my lips.

"Hi," I whisper back.

"Do you want breakfast up here or downstairs?"

"Downstairs will be fine. After Ted is finished will you take him down to Gail for me so I can pump and have a shower?"

"Sure. I'll go have mine now." He kisses me once leaving me wanting. I scrunch my face remembering last night and how plans were thwarted by our little Ted. Hopefully we can pick back up where we left off last night later tonight.

**I am dressed in **my gray linen dress pants, white ruffled blouseand black pumps finishing up my eggs and toast when Christian appears from his study with his briefcase.

"Ready Mrs. Grey?" He kisses me behind my ear making me smile.

"All set." I beam and set my dishes in the sink.

Gail follows us to the foyer holding Ted. Taylor is outside waiting at the SUV.

I kiss Ted's baby soft cheek and stroke his fist. "Mommy is going to miss you so much my sweet baby."

I feel tears sting the back of my eyes as a lump forms in my throat. I've never been away from my baby for a whole day and while I want to go and am eager to be back at work I can't help the feelings which are suddenly surging to the surface. Where did they come from? I wanted to do this, I want to do this. I swallow trying to hide my unexpected burst of emotions.

"Gail call me if you need anything. My milk is in the refrigerator, his has extra bottles in his room. Oh, and his cream is on the stand by his changing table. If he won't burp sitting up try him over your shoulder and..."

"We'll be just fine Mrs. Grey. Won't we Teddy? We'll call you at lunch to let you know how we are doing." She smiles knowingly at me, soothing me more so than Ted.

"I know. I just can't help but worry." I shift my eyes downward again to gaze at my baby boy.

"Call and check on him anytime you want Ana. You'll be back here holding him in your arms before you know it."

I nod and offer another smile. Feeling Christian's hand on my back guiding me I turn and walk to the SUV.

"Good morning Mrs. Grey," Taylor nods his head as he opens my door.

"Good morning Taylor, thank you."

I climb in setting my briefcase at my feet. Christian climbs in beside me and clasps my hand in his. His thumb begins caressing my knuckles. He doesn't say anything. I'm sure it's because his thoughts are that I don't have to leave Ted and if I didn't go to work then I wouldn't feel this way. If that is what he is truly thinking I am thankful he has chosen to keep his notions to himself. This is hard but it is something I want to do. Taylor opens the driver side door and starts the engine. Gail waves from the doorway, holding Ted's little hand up to wave too. I blow him a kiss and wave back. _Deep breaths, you can do this Ana._ This will be a good day. My subconscious peers at me and smiles knowingly. My stomach is doing a dance of excitement for my first day really back at work. The dance gets a little faster the closer to Seattle we get.

Taylor stops the SUV outside of Grey's Publishing. My melancholy at leaving Ted has been replaced by exhilaration for my day. Taylor steps out to open my door for me.

"I'll be here to collect you at five Mrs. Grey." Christian leans over and grazes my lips with his leaving warm tingles in his wake.

"And I'll be waiting for you."

"Off you go. Have a good day. Call me if you need anything."

"I will." I peck his lips once more before stepping out of the SUV.


	35. Chapter 35

**Squaring my shoulders I** open the door to the lobby. Claire is behind the desk finishing a phone call when she sees me.

"Ana!" She steps from behind her desk and meets me with a quick embrace.

"It's so wonderful to see you. Hannah was thrilled when she found out you would be coming in today."

Claire fills me in on all of the latest gossip from around the office. She always did seem to know everything about everyone, often times even before they knew it themselves. As we finish our conversation I grab my briefcase.

"Do you have plans for lunch?" Claire asks.

"Nope, nothing specific."

"Great, Hannah and I were talking about the three of us hitting the deli down the street together?" Her bright eyes smile at me questioningly.

"Sounds great," I return her smile and go to my office.

Hannah is as equally thrilled to see me as Claire was. We briefly chat about going to lunch before she runs through my daily schedule with me. My meeting with Roach and L&E Advertising is in one hour. Sitting down I flip on my computer and sip the tea Hannah has provided for me. My email pings as the computer boots up. Opening it I see it's from Christian. I can't help the smile that spreads across my lips.

**From: **Christian Grey

**Subject: ** My Beautiful Wife

**Date: **July 23 2012 09:10

**To: **Anastasia Grey

I hope you have a wonderful day. Call me if you need anything.

Christian Grey

Adoring Husband CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Floating on cloud nine I respond to his email.

**From: **Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **My Wonderful Husband

**Date: **July 23 2012 09:20

**To: **Christian Grey

I will and I will. I'm going to lunch with Claire and Hannah later. See you at 5.

Anastasia Grey

Adoring Wife CEO Grey's Publishing

I finish gathering my files, take another sip of my tea and grab my iPad. Christian insisted I have one for work too to use as a tablet. Roach is waiting for me as I enter the conference room. He stands to shake my hand and welcomes me back to work. Pulling out one the large black leather chairs from around the large oval shaped table I sit down to hash out last minute details with Roach before the agency reps arrive.

The meeting lasts well over an hour. The presentation made by L&E was quite good and progressive keeping up with the already saturated market. Their ideas will keep Grey's Publishing moving in a progressive direction as well as abreast the competitors. Being satisfied with their pitch I sign off for them to finish and launch their ad campaign. Throughout the meeting however I could not help but notice the one rep that kept looking at me a little too long. His smile was warm but his demeanor was a bit too flirty for my taste. At one point I consciously twiddle my wedding rings before jotting down a few notes on my tablet. He sat back in his chair, tugged nervously at the tie around his neck and cleared his throat before turning his attention from me back to his papers. I smirked subtly knowing I had gotten my point across. _Taken and happy to be._ I couldn't help the inkling inside of me though that said… _you've still got it Ana. _Being a wife and a new mom it was kind of nice to know that I could still turn a head. Even though I was always unsure of why I could do it and what was so spectacular about me.

After the meeting I excuse myself and go back to my office to pump before going to lunch. I am now grateful for my own little personal mini kitchen Christian was adamant to have put off to the side of my office. It would be a tad bit awkward to try to store my breast milk inconspicuously in the community kitchen's fridge. Taking a bottle of water from the kitchen I sit down in chair to pump. Startled I jump when my phone rings.

"Ana Grey, Grey's Publishing," I answer juggling the phone.

My eyes suddenly well with tears when I hear Gail's voice on the other end. She tells me that Ted is doing fine and took his bottles well. She even holds the phone down to his little ear so I can talk to him. My heart aches a little for my baby boy. I tell him I will be home soon and how much I love him then thank Gail for calling me. Hanging up the phone I smile through the tears streaming down my cheeks. I am so fortunate to have Gail to take care of him for me. She loves him so much. I dash my tears away and finish pumping. My stomach gurgles telling me it is time for lunch. After putting everything away and straightening my blouse I grab my purse and head to lunch with Claire and Hannah. Lunch cannot come soon enough, I am starved.


	36. Chapter 36

**The girls and I** take a little longer at lunch than we should but it is so good to talk to them again that I don't mind letting it slip. Hannah tells us all about her fiance' when she announces her new engagement. She can't stop smiling showing off her ring and talking about the Christmas wedding they are planning. Mentally I make a note to talk to Claire later; we need to do an office bridal shower for her in a few months. After lunch we walk back to work where the remaining afternoon hours breeze by quickly. I've so thoroughly enjoyed my first day back at work but when I glance up and realize it's nearly 5 o'clock I sigh glad to be heading home to see my Ted in a few minutes.

As promised the SUV appears at the curb at 5 o'clock on the dot. Picking up my briefcase and bag I dart out the doors. A later afternoon summer shower has popped up. The streets and sidewalks steam around me as I hop in the back, Taylor closes the door behind me. Christian leans over taking my things from my hands and sets them on the floor. He flashes me his perfect smile and tucks a strand of hair which has come loose behind my ear.

"Hi," he murmurs.

"Hi," I smile back at him. The normalcy of this moment for us is profound. For a split second the idea of just the two of going back to our home at Escala then I come back to the here and now. No, we are going home to the big house where our baby is waiting for us.

His warm soft lips graze mine, halting my breath.

"What are you thinking Mrs. Grey?"

"How lucky I am to have our little family."

Taking my hand in his he settles back in his seat and gives me a gentle squeeze.

"How was your day at work?"

"Good. We approved the campaign L&E pitched to us. I really liked what they had to show us, I think they've got a good grasp on what we are looking for. Claire, Hannah and I went to lunch then the rest of the afternoon sped by."

"Did Mrs. Jones call you at lunch?"

I couldn't help the tears that swelled in my eyes at the mention of the phone call from Gail and Teddy. "She did."

"Ana, are you okay?" He moved his thumb over my knuckles, concerned gray eyes gazing at me.

I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. "Yes. I just missed Ted is all. She let me talk to him."

"Was everything okay?" His eyes were locked on mine with concern.

"Of course," my lips spread into a smile. "I just can't wait to get home and hold him."

Squeezing his hand to reassure him I turned my gaze out the window. I couldn't help the ache in my heart and in my body to hold and bond with my baby.

Our evening at home is jubilant. On most evenings Christian retreats to his study for a few hours before dinner but today he stays with Ted and I. We dine together on the patio enjoying some grilled chicken and vegetables Gail has marinated all day. Ted sits in his swing contentedly sleeping during most of our meal. He had just been fed when we got home and was ready for a nap. It gives Christian and I a chance to talk more at length about the meeting at work today as well as time for him to share his work day with me. Gazing out across the meadow and the sound I cannot imagine anything more perfect.

Ted begins to stir and Christian lifts him from his swing, immediately placing him in my arms. "I'll clear the plates Mommy while you feed our son." He begins picking up our dishes as I unbutton my blouse for Ted.

"Thank you Daddy." I lift my face to his allowing him to kiss my lips.

"Be back in a few minutes."

He disappears into the house leaving me to marvel at my nursing son.

"Mommy missed you so much today Ted." My voice is soft with emotion and I stroke his cheek with my fingers. He gazes up at me making his little grunts while he suckles my breast.

"Did you have a good day with Mrs. Jones? Mommy had a good day at work but I am so glad to be back at home with you."

I continue to talk to Ted, telling him about the warm wind blowing around us. Asking him if he sees the little brown bird perched on the stone wall surrounding the patio I lift him a little allowing him to see the bird before switching him to my other breast.

When Christian returns we play with Ted before bath time. He holds him up to his face, talking to him and making funny faces to entertain his son. My heart swells again; I could not be more in love with my husband than I am at this very moment. Setting Ted down on his lap he turns to me.

"Taylor shared some good news with me today."

I feign any knowledge of what Taylor could have spoken with him about; really knowing it must be the news of he and Gail's engagement.

"He did?"

"Yes, he and Mrs. Jones became engaged over the weekend."

I grin at him, my happiness for them spelled out across my face. "That's wonderful news."

"Hmm…yes he said that Mrs. Jones told him how happy you were to hear about it when she told you." He raises an eyebrow at me with a playfully speculative expression on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me Ana?"

"Mrs. Jones said Taylor wanted to, I didn't want to steal their thunder."

With a smirk he says, "Well I guess you're forgiven."

"Why thank you my kind sir. Now, would you like to help me give our son a bath?"

"Lead the way Mommy." He rises from his chair and we walk together to the upstairs bath.


	37. Chapter 37

**Tucking Ted's swaddling blanket** around him I lift him to my lips and kiss him goodnight. The serene notes of a lullaby envelope my sleepy baby boy. Soon he is drifting off to dreamland. Ever so lightly I tip toe out of his room, pulling the door shut behind me. I duck my head in my room in search of Christian. Perhaps he has gone back downstairs.

As I step off the bottom step I notice the doors of the glass wall are still open. The warm night breeze is floating through the curtains and the last glowing light of day is lingering over the sound. Christian is sitting on the ground just beyond the stone patio. I slip my flats off, careful not to make a sound. My feet softly pad across the wood floors then the cool slate stones of the patio. As I come closer I can see he is sitting on our tartan blanket holding a glass of wine. A cup of tea is sitting next to him. My lips curl in a smile. I halt to allow myself the opportunity to drink in the sight of my husband gazing across our yard at the sound as he waits for me.

Bending to sit I pick up my cup of tea, "Thank you," I murmur taking a sip.

He leans over pressing his lips to the top of my head. I hear him sigh as he wraps his arm around my waist. "I love this."

"Mmmm…" I murmur my concurrence and lean my head against his shoulder.

A few small pinpoints of light begin to shimmer across the night sky ask dusk fades into darkness.

"Ana," Christian's voice breaks the many moments of silence which have just taken place between us. I lift my head to look into his eyes.

"Do you want to go away this weekend? Are you sure? I don't want to take Ted away from you."

"Of course I want to go away for our anniversary. Why do you ask?"

"Today when I picked you up from work, I saw your tears baby. I know how much you missed Ted. I do not want for your heart to ache for him the entire time we are gone. I don't want to take you away from your baby."

Looking down at my teacup I ponder his words. He's right, I missed Ted tremendously today. I could not wait to get home and hold him in my arms but I also enjoyed work. There must be a balance between the two and I think I am finding it.

"I want to go Christian. I love Ted and I love you. We need time together, just us. While I was pregnant your mom said something to me that has stuck. She told me that in order for us to be good parents to our child we must first be good spouses to each other. She encouraged me to always remember why we fell in love, why we are married, so that we can show our child or children what a strong marriage and strong family are made of."

His face turns to meet mine. "My mom said that?" His voice is deep and almost inaudible.

"I think it was good advice. Don't you?"

I see his lips turn up into a smile. "You and my mother, the most amazing women in the world." He shakes his head incredulity then brings his hand up to stroke my cheek. "Let me love you Mrs. Grey."

I swallow hard. "Here?" My voice trembles as his deep gray eyes hold my gaze. I can see the reflection of what seems to be thousands of fireflies lighting up the vast yard in their steely depths.

"Here. Now." He decrees.

With a shaking hand I give Christian my cup which he sets on the lawn alongside his now empty wine glass. His hands find the small of my back and my hair, gently guiding me to lie on the blanket. Warm insistent lips coax mine apart as I lie back feeling the soft grass coddle my body from under the covering.

"I'll never have my fill of you," he mutters unbuttoning my blouse leaving a trail of soft wet kisses down my neck.

"What if someone sees us or hears us Christian?" I'm trying to be serious but a giggle escapes my throat when his hands glide across my hips, finding the button of my gray pants.

"No one will see us because everyone has gone to bed and we'll just have to be quiet to be sure they stay there." I can feel his grin against my neck as he nips my earlobe. I yelp and he moves his face barely an inch from mine, our noses almost touching.

"Shhhh… Mrs. Grey." He holds his index finger to his lips, a wicked smile dancing across them. "You're going to have to learn how to keep quiet."

That one seemingly innocent gesture, those few words, _oh my. _My inner goddess and I both all but combust on the spot.

His lips return to my neck, sucking, nipping and kissing their way to my breasts, leaving a warm path of passion in their wake. Strong fingers carefully trace the line of my bra across my swollen breasts. "I love these…" he whispers pulling at the material, freeing each breast so that he can nuzzle and kiss both.

My mind is swirling, trying to focus on what his lips, his voice and his right hand are doing as his left hand moves further down to the apex of my thighs. I tilt my head back and close my eyes absorbing the myriad of emotions washing through my body. The feel of his hands, his lips, the warmth of the summer wind, the smell of the wildflowers that bloom in the nearby meadow, all combined it is a sensory overload.

He nips each hip bone then with both hands guides my slacks and gray lace panties down my legs. I know I should care to acknowledge that I am lying on the back lawn basically naked but Christian has obliterated all thoughts of reason from my mind with his body.

The fingers of his left hand find me, teasing and tantalizing my sensitive flesh. He leans his body over mine, looking deep into my eyes. His right hand caresses my face and his fingers linger over my lips. I pucker them and kiss him. I can hear my voice beginning to whimper and sigh at the recognition of his first two fingers on his right hand.

"Hush baby, I've got you. I know." He brings his lips to mine, gently warming my mouth, parting my lips to move my tongue with his. I am so close, I feel like I'm going to explode.

"I'm going to count Anastasia, but remember you must be quiet. How many times baby…"

With that I suddenly feel his fingers find their goal, my mind goes numb as my body detonates.

"One," he counts. _What?_ I'm barely coherent when I feel myself shatter again.

"Two." _Oh, my God. How long? How many? _My eyes spring open, I see the stars dotting the heavens above me before I focus back on Christian, staring at me. His face is etched with lust and hunger for my body. My breath is short and shallow, I feel myself splinter again.

"Three," his voice is a strong whisper, his fingers are unrelenting.

"Four."

I cry out in my throat, straining to be silent, biting my lip.

"One more baby, give it all to me. Five." Gripping his arm my eyes widen and I ride out the explosion from deep inside my body.

As I come back down to earth I notice he is moving over my body, covering me completely. With clumsy fingers I pull his shirt over his head, running my hands over his chest feeling the sinew of every muscle. I move my hands down grasping him, urging him. He groans deep in his throat and removes his fingers. Then slowly, deliciously he begins to enter me. Sinking to the deepest depth he draws in a deep breath before he begins to move. Cradling my face between his hands he kisses me with abandon and I wrap myself around him, as tight as I can hold him to me. There is nothing, nothing but us, our bodies and the way we move together. The way he loves me, the way he worships me, heart, mind, body and soul.


	38. Chapter 38

**I wrap my arms **around my beautiful husband's neck and press my lips to his.

"Thank you Mr. Grey." I give him my shy smile and he brushes his nose against mine.

"Bath or shower Mrs. Grey?"

I shake my head at him. "Neither, I can barely keep my eyes open."

He grins at me knowingly. "Bed it is then."

Christian helps me to change into one of his t-shirts before tucking me in bed. Leaning down he brushes my forehead with his warm lips.

"I'll go check on Ted and be right back."

Laying there I think about my day. The fulfillment I felt being at work again, how much I enjoyed lunch with my co-workers, the happiness that filled me when I held Ted in my arms and the thrill of an evening with Christian on our back lawn. Pulling the covers to my chin I can't help but giggle as I replay our evening under the stars. I feel content and whole. I turn onto my side and drift to sleep before Christian even makes it back down the hall.

**As promised Christian takes **Tuesday off of work. We spend the morning together at home playing with Ted then after lunch we go to Ted's two month appointment. As we sit in the waiting room I can't help the nervous feeling in my stomach. I look around noticing the other mothers with their small children. The bigger children are playing with the toys in the corner by the large window. Other mothers hold their babies in their laps and chat with each other casually. Christian is holding Ted and his bag is on my lap. I know Grace is a wonderful doctor and grandmother to my baby. She takes the best care of him at all times. My nerves are centered on his immunizations though. The nervous feeling won't go away. I feel a hand on my knee stilling the jumping movements I was not aware I was making.

"Baby there's nothing to be nervous about." His voice is calm and I know he is trying to soothe me.

I smile meekly up at him. "I know." I try to reassure Christian and myself but I know it's not working.

"Grey." The receptionist behind the glass window calls our last name and we stand. "Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, it's wonderful to see you both here today. And how are you Teddy?" Her name is Martha and she is the sweetest lady. Of course all of Grace's co-workers know Ted; she has pictures of him adorning her desk. She is so proud of her grandson. Thankfully Christian makes small talk with Martha, proudly showing his son of to her. I don't think I can find my voice right now; the nerves are getting the better of me.

"If you'll just wait in this room here the doctor will be with you in a moment." She ushers us into exam room five and closes the door behind us.

The appointment is over and done with before I even know it and for that I am grateful. Ted has barely fussed at all the entire time. As I knew she would be Grace was gentle and talked with Ted during the examination. Having your grandma as your doctor is a blessing, my lucky little boy.

"Be sure to call me if anything comes up, if he has any problems from the vaccinations." Grace says handing Ted back to Christian.

"We will Mom. You know I think Ana was more nervous about Ted's appointment than he was." He squeezes me around the waist before releasing me and taking Ted.

"He's a healthy baby Ana; you have nothing to worry about. He eats well, sleeps well; our little Ted is perfect in every way." No doting grandma could have said it better.

Nodding my head I smile at her then tentatively touch Christian's arm.

"What is it baby?"

"You and Ted go ahead out to the car. I'd like to talk Grace alone for a second."

"Is everything okay Ana?"

"Everything is fine, just a second okay?"

I know this has thrown him off but I'd like a chance to ask a question in private. Hesitantly Christian agrees to go ahead without me. As the he shuts the door behind him Grace turns her attention to me.

"What would you like to speak with me about?"

I should have thought to ask Dr. Greene this I know; this is so embarrassing to be asking my mother-in-law this. I gnaw on my bottom lip as I contemplate my question.

"Let's have a seat." Grace motions to the two aqua colored chairs sitting in the corner of the room. She sets her notepad down on the table between them and waits for me to speak.

"I feel so silly asking you this Grace. I know I should have asked Dr. Greene this but it slipped my mind during my last appointment…" My voice trails off as I struggle to find my nerve.

"No question is silly Ana dear." She touches my hand reassuringly, searching my face for some kind of clue as to what I want to ask her.

"Well…as you know I breastfeed Ted exclusively…I'm just wondering when will my cycle start again?"

Grace smiles warmly. "That's different for every woman Ana though many women do not get their period while they are breastfeeding some do. Since you do breastfeed exclusively it could be months before your cycle resumes. If you are not planning to have any more children right now I suggest you take birth control if you aren't already because you could ovulate and not know it."

I feel my cheeks heat as a blush spreads across my face. Talking with my husband's mother about this is a little weird.

"I'm…I'm on birth control." I manage to stammer out the words.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about Ana. It's very normal for you to have these questions as a new mother. Like I said it could be several months before your period comes or it may not come at all while you exclusively breastfeed Ted."

"Thank you." I give her a tight smile and stand to leave. She stands with me and unexpectedly embraces me in a warm hug.

"You are a wonderful mother Ana. My son and grandson are so very blessed to have you."

Returning her hug I can feel her adoration and appreciation wash over me. I say my goodbyes to Grace and make my way to the car, back to my husband and baby.


	39. Chapter 39

*I see that Chapter 1-3 have been removed from the site because they have timed out. If you are just beginning to follow my story and would like to see those chapters please send me a PM and I will send them to you.*

** Swaying back and forth **I try to comfort my fussy baby. He has tried to nap all afternoon but has been fitful since his vaccinations earlier today.

"Mommy's here sweet boy. Daddy is running you a bath and your medicine will make you feel better soon."

I lay him down on his changing table and reach for the Tylenol; filling the dropper to the right amount I put it to his lips encouraging to him to take the medicine. He blows little bubbles on his lips and continues to cry. After a few tries he takes the small dose of medicine.

"There, that will make you better." Gently I remove his onesie and diaper from his warm little body and loosely wrap a towel around him. "Let's get you in some water to help your fever baby."

Kneeling by the bath Christian takes Ted from my arms and lays him in his blue tub. I kneel beside him watching has he swathes our son's body with the warm water using only his hands. He cups his hand gathering water then slowly with comforting words bathes him. Ted's fussing calms as he listens to his father's voice and feels his closeness.

"I gave him the Tylenol like your mom suggested." I say pooling water in my hands and letting it drip on our son's legs. Christian nods and continues with his vigil. I can feel the tension and worry radiating from him. With my dry hand I touch his shoulder. "He's going to be fine. It's just a little fever from his shots. This is normal Christian."

"I know Ana, I just can't help but worry about him." He keeps his eyes focused on Ted.

Leaning up I brush my lips across his cheek. "And that's why I love you more every day." His lips curve into a small smile.

When Christian is satisfied that Ted has been bathed long enough he lifts him from his tub and swaddles him in a soft blue hooded towel.

"I'll move his bassinet next to our bed while you nurse him baby." He waits for me to stand before placing Ted in my arms.

I dress Ted in a light weight onesie and take him to my room. His little body is already feeling cooler. His earlier fussiness is forgotten as I cradle him in my arms. Propping myself against our wooden headboard I open my shirt, encouraging my son to nurse. After some coaxing he finally latches but only for a few minutes before moving his head away from my body.

"Come on Teddy, eat sweet boy. You must be hungry." I cajole to him tenderly. He latches again but only suckles for a few minutes before releasing again. Again I urge him but he refuses, turning away.

"Won't he nurse Ana?" Christian asks bringing a few of Ted's things in and placing them under the bassinet.

"No. Not for long at all. Your mom said he may not eat normally for a few days after his vaccinations. I guess he's just not hungry." I watch my son's mouth form a little o as he yawns sleepily.

"Let me put him down then baby so you can pump." Christian takes him from me. Turning back I glance at him before walking down the hall to the nursery for my pump. He is dancing gently and singing to Ted with the moonlight bathing them both in pale silver light. _My beautiful boys_, I muse to myself.

**Warm lips brush my** temple stirring me awake. Sleepily I blink my eyes open and see Christian leaning over me. Sun light illuminates the room indicating that it is much later in the morning than I usually wake up. Ted gurgles and snuggles close to my breasts. His eyes are still shut as he continues to slumber. I don't remember putting him next to me but I do remember waking with him several times during the night. He slept for a few hours before needing more Tylenol, another bath and attempting to nurse a few more times. Leaning down I kiss the top of his soft hair tenderly.

"I put him in bed with you when I went to shower for work." Christian explains. Its then that I take in the fact that he is showered and dressed for work in his navy blue suit with navy blue tie, looking every bit the scrumptious CEO who I love very much.

"He took half of a bottle for me about an hour ago before he went back to sleep. He should sleep for you for at least awhile longer. I've brought you up some fruit and a muffin." He motions to the bedside table where I see a tray. The bowl is full of fruit salad, a glass of milk and a banana oat muffin sits on a plate.

"Thank you." I grin up at him.

"Anything for you Mrs. Grey," he flashes me his million dollar smile and brushes my lips once more with his. "I'll only work for a few hours. I'll be back for you know it. Call me if you need anything. Mrs. Jones is down in the kitchen working." He rubs his forefinger across my bottom lip gazing into my eyes then kisses Ted's baby cheek before leaving for work.


	40. Chapter 40

*Next chapter we start the anniversary celebration*

**"Mrs. Grey, your mother** is on the phone." Mrs. Jones says appearing at the nursery room doorway.

"Thank you Gail. I'll be there in a minute." Standing I pick Ted up from his play mat. He slept most of the morning but finally nursed well at lunch time and has been less fussy than yesterday ever since. "Grammy is on the phone baby boy. Let's go talk to her."

Mom and Bob are coming in town for Kate's wedding. They plan to be here Thursday, Ray is arriving on Friday. Though I am glad they are able to make it in town for my friend's wedding I am even happier because they will get to see Ted. He's grown so much since they last saw him. Mom and Ray were only able to stay and visit for a few days after Ted was born and Bob hasn't even met him yet. His work kept him tied to Savannah and he was unable to get away. Sitting on the loveseat I pick up the phone, cradling Teddy in my arms.

"Hi Mom," I greet her excitedly.

"Ana it's so good to hear your voice. I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too Mom," and it's the truth I have. Grace is a wonderful mother-in-law but I miss having my mom around to share special times with me and my baby boy.

"How are you and how is my beautiful Grandson? I got the pictures you sent me the other day and it looks like he's grown so much already."

"He's doing so well Mom. He smiles now and gurgles at me. He loves blowing bubbles on his little lips. I think it's his favorite thing to do. He got his shots yesterday and was a little fussy with a fever but is all better now. Aren't you big boy?" I bounce Ted up and down a little in my arms and he coos at me. "Did you hear him Mom? He says 'hi'."

"I did! Oh, the little darling. I cannot wait to hold him and spoil him."

She tells me that she and Bob's flight will be at Sea Tac Thursday at 10am. Christian of course offered his plane but Mom and Bob said they would get tickets and fly on their own. He grumbled to me a bit about it but thankfully did not put up too much of an argument.

"Ted and I will be there to pick you up. We can't wait to see you."

We talk awhile longer about nothing really. I tell her about Kate's dress and that I have my final fitting tomorrow. She asks about the bachelorette party and volunteers to keep Teddy for me while I hang out with the girls the night before the wedding. Too soon we have to hang up because she is going to a formal dinner at Bob's club tonight with a few of his work associates but the promise of seeing her in just over a week makes saying goodbye easier.

"Kiss Teddy for me," I can hear the longing to see her daughter and grandson in her voice.

"I will Mom." Smiling I hang up the phone.

**Christian arrives home early **and our evening is spent cooking dinner together. He gives Gail the rest of the evening off so we can have the house to ourselves. Ted looks on from his swing on the island as we cut vegetables for a mixed salad and I grill some chicken to add to it. After turning the chicken I reach for olive oil, balsamic vinegar and seasonings from the cabinet and begin to whisk a dressing up.

"Making your own dressing Mrs. Grey?" Christian smirks at me while slicing a cucumber.

"Yes," I grin back at him.

"Do you know how sexy you are right now standing in this kitchen cooking?" He sets down the knife and saunters over to me. Wrapping his arms around my waist he places warm light kisses down my neck.

"Hmmmm…you know our son is watching."

"It's okay. I'm not going to do anything inappropriate with you…yet. I'm saving all of that for this weekend." My stomach somersaults and my inner goddess makes a beeline for the dresser frantically packing her suitcase with as little as possible. "We'll drop Ted off at Mom's at ten in the morning. We have to be at Sea Tac by eleven."

"And you're still not going to tell me where we're going?"

He nips my ear and I yelp. "Nope, just that we're flying to get there. That's all you need to know."

I continue to whisk my salad dressing knowing full and well he is not going to divulge any more information. "Are we still meeting with Flynn tomorrow?"

"No. He called me this morning and we moved the appointment to next Tuesday. He is having to make an unexpected trip so he will be out of town."

Christian kisses my neck once more before taking the chicken from the grill and slicing it. Pouring the dressing over the salad I announce that dinner is served.


	41. Chapter 41

**Stretching across the backseat** of the SUV I place Ted in his infant seat and fasten the harness around his little body. Taylor helps Christian put the last few suitcases in before shutting the trunk and walking around to the driver side. I am not sure how many suitcases contain my clothes because Christian refused my help while packing yesterday. He insisted that he would pack everything I would need for our vacation. It has left my subconscious and I tapping our foot pondering what might be in the bags. Perhaps they contain a new dress or my anniversary gift? My inner goddess being the promiscuous hussy that she is continues to pray for as little clothing as possible. _She'd be happy with solely a loin cloth if it was up to her._

Once Ted is fastened I reach to the ground for his bag but am temporarily halted by the feeling of warm arms encircling my waist.

"Ready to go Mrs. Grey?" he murmurs against my ear. I can feel the heat of his breath tantalizing my skin. His voice is low and his words are only meant to be heard by me.

"Yes," I mutter back and climb into the backseat with Ted.

Christian closes the door behind me and takes his place next to Taylor on the passenger side.

Grace and Mia are merely bounding with joy when we arrive to drop Ted to them for the next three days. Christian ensures that they have all of the pertinent information which he has written down for them. I smile to myself at his detailed concern knowing that our son could not be in better hands. With a few tears streaming down my cheeks I kiss my baby and whisper my love to him.

"Mommy will be back Monday sweet boy. I will miss you so much. I promise to call you every night and every morning."

I feel my husband's lips press against my own cheek as he pulls me to his body. He reaches his hand out and Ted grasps his father's finger tightly, baby gray eyes gazing at both of us.

"We will be just fine Mommy and Daddy. Now you two run along and have a wonderful time!" Grace shoos us both out insisting that Taylor is waiting and we are impeaching on her grandma time with her grandson.

** It's nearly 10 o'clock** when we pull up to the plane on the tarmac. The crew helps to load our luggage while Christian and Taylor converse with the captain, Stephan if I remember correctly, and First Officer Beighley about the flying conditions. What they are saying is all Greek to me so I busy myself with gathering my purse then wait for Christian at the stairs. When he walks over he takes my hand in his and gives it a squeeze.

"We'll be landing in New York in a little over 6 hours Mrs. Grey, ready to get going?"

"New York?" I can barely get the words out. I am beyond excited. I should have guessed we would be going there, I've never seen Christian's apartment in Manhattan. My stomach knots and flips with excitement and I feel giddy like a child. "Yes! Let's go!"

Turning his head he looks straight ahead chuckling to himself as he leads me up the stairs and into his plane.

The flight is long but I busy myself reading a few new manuscripts Roach sent to me a few days ago. Stuffing the last few papers in my file folder I hear my stomach rumble. Christian glances up from his book.

"Hungry?" He laughs.

"Apparently so, at least that's what my stomach says." I put my files in my briefcase and set it on the floor beside my seat as Natalia approaches us carrying a tray with two glasses of pink champagne on it. Taking the glasses from the tray Christian hands one to me and smirks as he catches my shocked expression. It has been a little over ten months since my last alcoholic beverage.

"We're ready for lunch." He says glancing at Natalia.

"Yes, sir." She retreats to the back of the plane.

Before tipping the glass up to my lips I shoot him a questioning look. "The same champagne we drank on the evening of our wedding?"

"The very same, to our first year as husband and wife Mrs. Grey." He clinks his glass to mine then tips it to his delicious lips but stops when he sees my hesitation.

"I…I didn't have a baby then Mr. Grey."

He leans in to my body, his mouth grazing my ear. I can feel his heated breath and it exhilarates my senses. "We have three days before we return to Seattle Mrs. Grey." His words are laden with sensuality. "And besides, I like champagne with my milk." My breath hitches at his last utterance, a deep blush spreading across my cheeks. "To us," he declares and clinks our glasses together once more. I tip my glass back and take a large gulp of the crisp champagne, willing it to wet my now dry throat.

Soon Natalia returns to refill our champagne glasses and serves our lunch. Smoked salmon, roast partridge, a green bean salad and _dauphinoise_ potatoes make up our extravagant and memory evoking meal. Just as I did nearly a year before I take the time to savor every bite.

"Dessert?" Christian asks setting his white linen napkin on his plate.

"Yes, please."

"I was hoping you would say that. I know it's customary to wait until our actually anniversary date but I thought now would be a good time especially since I have so many other plans for you over the next few days."

Natalia appears by my side with a delicate china plate which holds the top of our wedding cake sitting on her tray. Upon closer inspection I can see the plate belongs to our wedding china. The edges of the plate are adorned with fine swirls and scrolls in different shades of platinum set against the crisp white of the plate. A single dessert fork adorns the plate with the cake. Christian takes the plate in his hands and picks up the fork. He slices the fork down the side of the cake and holds it to my lips. With my eyes locked on his I part my lips tasting the sweet pink champagne cake topped with fluffy buttercream frosting. I moan softly at the sheer decadence of the cake and the sight of his gray eyes as they turn a deeper hue. He watches me as I swallow the scrumptious dessert with the exact same fervor as he did at our wedding reception. Taking the fork from his fingers I follow suit and repeat his previous actions by offering him a bite of our wedding cake. He sweeps his index finger across the top of the cake gathering icing on the tip then pushes it between my already parted lips.

"Suck," he commands softly and I do. Wrapping my lips around his finger and teasing him with my tongue until he moans groans deep in his throat and pulls his finger back from my lips. Setting the plate on the tray in front of our seats he grasps my face between his hands.

"You are my life Ana. You are the air I breathe. You are my reason for living." He presses his lips to mine and my mouth opens for him. His tongues dips with mine, dancing, tasting me and I feel heady. His taste and the sweetness of the cake between us are intoxicating to my senses.


	42. Chapter 42

** When our plane touches** down at Newark International Airport it is nearly 8 o'clock in the evening. Having caught a little of a cat nap on the tail end of our trip I feel rested and not at all bothered by the time difference. Stepping off of the plane and onto the tarmac I instantly feel the summer humidity cling to my body. The air definitely feels heavier here than at home. The sun is just beginning to descend to the skyline, its heat still very prevalent in the air. Christian ushers me to the waiting Audi A8. The car is sleek and shiny and as I walk by it can see my reflection in the metallic silver paint. He opens the passenger side door for me while a man, who I assume brought the car here, loads our luggage into the trunk. I watch as Christian moves around to speak with him for a few moments. The man who is dressed in a simple black suit hands Christian a set of keys before climbing into the passenger side of another smaller car and leaving. The trunk latch catches as it is shut and Christian folds his body gracefully into the driver seat beside me.

"Taylor?" I question, asking how all of this was made possible. I raise one eyebrow looking at my husband expectantly.

"Of course, now shall we make our way to MiMA in the heart of Manhattan?"

"We shall." I cannot help but beam at him. "I am dying to see it."

** Christian easily navigates our** way from New Jersey and through the busy New York City streets. Once again I marvel how at ease he is in most things. So capable and confident in everything he does. _The man I fell in love with_ I muse. I gasp when we finally approach a building made of glass soaring into the dusk sky. It seems to tower over all of its surrounding buildings. Escala is impressive but this is magical. It's like the glass windows are the only things holding the monumental building up.

"We're here." Christian announces pulling into the parking garage.

"This is amazing…" I say my voice trailing off.

We gather our luggage and approach the elevator. I watch as Christian punches the number for the 60th floor. How many stories are there I wonder.

"There are sixty three floors total, so we're near the top." He says, again answering my unspoken question. All I can do is nod as I continue to take in my surroundings.

When Christian turns the key in the door and opens it for me to step in once again I am stunned. The size of the apartment is impressive. To my left I see what looks to be the living area and kitchen. The colors are deep neutrals and reds, very luxurious.

"Bedrooms are this way." He says putting his hand on the small of my back and guiding me down the short hall to my right. We pass a small bath on the right.

"Guest bath is here and just ahead is the guest bedroom. To the left is our room." He indicates the direction of the rooms as he speaks by nodding his head in each direction.

He follows as I lead the way to the master bedroom. When I step in the first thing I notice is the huge window to the right of the bed. The bed is massive. A cherry sleigh bed which looks to large than a king bed even. The bedding is all chocolate brown and looks to be a mixture of satin and suede sheets and blankets. A floor lamp sits in the corner with a comfortable chair in front of it. _A nice place to read_ I ponder. Like you'll be doing much reading my subconscious smirks.

I set my purse and bag on the dresser and slip off my shoes. The rust orange area rug which sits atop the deep brown hardwood floors feels like silk under my feet.

The master bath is to the left of the bed. From where I stand I can see that the rich color scheme continues. The cabinets under the double sinks are stainless steel. Tearing myself away from my foot comfy rug I walk in. Christian is filling the enormous bathtub with hot water and jasmine scented bath oil. Oddly my bare feet are warm against the tiles. _Hmmn… heated tiles._ Now I could get used to this.

"Bath Mrs. Grey?" He asks turning to face me.

"Sounds heavenly," I sigh and begin untying my baby blue wrap dress.

"Good. I'll just go order dinner. Is eating in okay with you?"

"Perfect." Standing on my tiptoes I wrap my arms around his neck and peck his lips chastely with mine. He wraps his arms around me tightly and deepens the kiss, coaxing my lips apart with his until he can taste my mouth. When he breaks away we are both breathless.

"You'll find everything you need is already here. I'll just go and check that the kitchen is properly stocked to my specifications. Dinner should be here in around forty five minutes."

With one last soft kiss Christian leaves me to my bath.

When I step in the water is hot but so inviting. Leaning my head back I close my eyes and allow the warmth and sensual scent to envelope me. Three entire days here with my beautiful husband, my beautiful kinky husband, I smirk to myself at the last thought. I cannot help but wonder what all of these 'things' he has planned for me are. I want to take a peek into the bags but my subconscious tuts me, telling me to leave it alone. _This is his surprise, let it be._ I decide to agree with her. I'll just have to let Christian spoil me.

Over half an hour later I finally emerge from the bathroom wrapped in a feathery soft towel. I find a satin negligée draped across the bed. The pale rose pink satin glides smoothly over my body as I slip it over my head. I smile and blush a little when I realize that the empire cut bodice is made solely out of cream colored lace. The sleeves are cap sleeves made with a layer of lace and topped with another layer made from pink chiffon. Turning to look at myself in the mirror I tie the fine pink ribbon under my breasts glimpsing at how my breasts and nipples show subtly through the fine lace. I let my hair down from its tie and brush is quickly allowing my soft curls to frame my already tantalizing breasts. My inner goddess beams with approval.


	43. Chapter 43

**A myriad of aromas **tempt me as I approach the kitchen and living area. One wall is dominated by floor to ceiling windows which seem to frame the night time Manhattan skyline. There are so many lights outside it almost looks like Christmas. A half wall separates the dining area from the open kitchen. The circular glass dining table seats four and is set for two. My eyes graze the table noticing antipasti of fresh breadsticks, tomatoes, mozzarella and basil on a large plate of our wedding china. Long deep red taper candles flicker in crystal holder's that stand in the center along with a bottle of Prosecco and two wine glasses. As I hear music begin to play Christian steps from the den which is to the left of the living area. A woman's sultry voice starts to sing about dancing and swaying. My mouth goes dry as I stand there allowing him to drink me in. Slowly he stalks me across the room until he is standing in front of me, as close as he can be to me without touching me.

"Exquisite Mrs. Grey," he says breathlessly. Tentatively he reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear ever so lightly grazing my earlobe with his touch. My breath hitches.

His encircles my waist and I place one hand on his shoulder, the other in his provided hand. We sway and begin to move. His muscles beneath the white linen shirt ripple under my hand making goose bumps form on my skin.

"When we dance you have a way with me. Stay with me, sway with me." He sings softly to me and we're off.

My mind quickly drifts back to the first time we danced at Escala. This time the lights of New York serve as our back drop. Christian's eyes are locked on mine, his gaze never leaving me. Mystical gray intertwined with vivid blue. My bare feet seamlessly float as we cover every inch of the kitchen, dining and living area. In that moment it's as if everything and everyone else on earth has absconded leaving only Christian and I behind to savor our love for each other.

I hear the last notes of the song play as it comes to an end. He moves one hand to the small of my back and the other tangles in my long tresses as he pulls my lips to meet with his. Absentmindedly I notice hearing the sound of a guitar strumming when the next song begins to play but my thoughts are soon inundated being replaced by the heat and passion of our kiss. His kiss is soothing, gradually increasing in intensity as his tongue strokes mine. My hands move to his backside gently squeezing and pulling his hips towards mine. I hear him groan deep in his throat and the sound only urges me on, my body begging to be one with his.

"If you keep doing that I'm going to take you here and now and we won't make it to dinner." He whispers huskily against my lips. "And I want to feed you, come."

Releasing me he takes my hand and leads me to the table. He pulls my chair out and I sit admiring the feast before my eyes, the food and my husband.

"Prosecco?" He asks picking the bottle up.

"Yes, please. I suppose you like that with your milk too?" I don't know where that came from. Holding my hand to my lips I blush from embarrassment.

A pleased grin spreads across his face. "Touche' Mrs. Grey. Where did you get such a naughty mouth from?"

"From my naughty husband Mr. Grey," I answer picking up my glass.

When he finishes filling his glass he sits down and picks it up, raising it to meet mine.

"Well then, to us being naughty together." We clink our glasses and for the second time today I gratefully drink hoping to wet the dryness of my throat.

Christian fills our plates with the tempting Italian spread he has laid before us. I am famished, we haven't eaten anything since lunch and everything is delicious. Crispy bread sticks, creamy mozzarella, juicy red tomatoes and fresh basil entice my palate. While we eat he tells me about the apartment. When he bought it, how often he has stayed here and what business he conducts here in New York. He is still tight lipped about what other plans he has for us while we are here. I am bursting with excitement to get out and explore the city tomorrow.

Once we are finished Christian clears the plates and loads them into the dishwasher. I pick up my glass and settle myself on the large white sofa. Mentally I do the math of what time it is at home. Deciding it is still early I reach for the phone on the side table and call Grace. She picks up on the second ring and tells me how Ted is doing. She tells me that he is eating well and playing with Mia at the moment. Then she takes the phone to where they are and holds it up to his little ear. I can hear him cooing and imagine he is blowing little bubbles on his lips as I tell him how much I love and miss him. Glancing in the direction I catch Christian watching me while he dries his hands on a dish towel. He smiles and comes to sit beside me. Once Grace is back on the line she asks how our trip was and tells me for us to enjoy ourselves and not to worry about a thing. I promise to do exactly that and then we say our goodbyes.

"Everything is going well?"

"Yes, he cooed while I was on the phone with him." I can't help my beaming grin.

Christian leans against the arm of the sofa and pulls me between his legs. I feel his warm lips press into my hair. "That's because he knew it was his Mommy talking to him."

A warm feeling rushes over my body. Could there be a more perfect man on this earth?

We lie quietly basking in the temperateness of each other's bodies. Music and solace enfold us as we embrace. When my glass is empty Christian takes it from my hand setting it on the glass sofa table behind us. I feel him move my hair to the side and trail feather light kisses down my neck.

"So beautiful…" he murmurs trailing his hands down to cup my barely masked breasts. Subtly he gives them a delicate squeeze and a whimper from want and desire. I cannot deny the sensitivity I feel as he his fingers graze the fullness.

"Christian I…I need…" I whimper, grasping for the words. I know what I need to say but a blush spreads across my face. I know what he wants to do, what I need him to do but I cannot articulate it.

He places his fingers on my mouth. "I know baby." Turning my face to his he kisses my lips softly. "Come Ana. Let me."

Standing he pulls me to his body and lifts me in his arms. "So beautiful…" He murmurs again as he carries me to the bed.


	44. Chapter 44

** Christian slowly lowers my **body down to the bed. The sumptuous plush blankets and satin sheets cradle me as he moves his body over mine. His long fingers work nimbly to pull the thin ribbon under my breasts until it is undone. The top of the gown relaxes. He kisses each of my nipples causing them to strain against the delicate lace before moving his attention to the capped sleeves. As he pulls each sleeve freeing my arms his lips glide across my collar bone. My skin blisters with heat along the path his mouth has taken. Gently he tugs the satin and lace downward effectively freeing my breasts. I can see my chest moving up and down quickly to accommodate my shallow breaths. I feel my breathing cease for a few seconds when he fixes his smoldering gray gaze on my face.

"I'm going to cherish you with my mouth Anastasia."

Tenderly he cups one breast with his firm hands and brings his mouth to my nipple. I watch him close his eyes before framing my rigid nipple with his warm moist mouth. He is lost in pleasure and the same rapture he is feeling seems to flow through my veins as well. Steadily he suckles me until my body lets down for him. My stomach flutters in a familiar way as I surrender to him. The faint sounds of Christian nursing my breast, drawing my milk into his mouth and swallowing it are all I hear in the tranquil room. Lifting my hand to rest on his head I cradle him to my body. Drawing him as close as I can we share in this serene and intimate moment together.

Blinking my eyes sleepily in the dark I briefly wonder where I am. Once my vision begins to focus I remember that we are in New York. It must be late; my body feels like jello though. I stretch feeling relaxed and sated. Christian's arms are wrapped around my body like ivy. His head still nestled to my chest. My mind flutters back as I recall our evening together. I remember him nursing me and warmth spreads across my face. It is then I realize I fell asleep before he did. Running my fingers through his unruly locks I contemplate how to get up without waking him. My throat is parched and a cool drink of water is what I need. Carefully I attempt to slip from his grasp without stirring him but effort is futile. I feel him nuzzle me and hear his sigh.

"What is it baby?" He mumbles sleepily against me.

"I'm thirsty."

He shifts his body so that he is looking down at my face. The slightest sliver of the moon hangs in the sky casting a warm glow across his angular features.

"I'll get you some water." Soft lips caress mine before he slips out of bed.

I sit up taking several large sips of water before setting the glass down on the bedside table. Christian walks to his side of the bed pulling back the covers and settling in next to me.

"I'm sorry I feel asleep."

"Sorry? We have all weekend Ana. I knew you were tired."

"Thank you." I look down at my hands.

"For what?" He asks entwining his fingers with mine. His voice is melodious and comforting.

"For helping me sleep. For making me more comfortable."

I feel his hand cup my cheek and I turn my face to meet his. No words are necessary, the love and tenderness between us in palpable as we gaze intently at each other. His lips find mine again and work slowly against my mouth. Reaching my hands behind his head I twist and knot his hair between my fingers. Somewhere in my groggy state I realize my negligee' is gone as are any other clothes which might come between our bodies. _When did that happen?_ His scorching skin enfolds me. His desire is evident against my hip. I feel his hands moving, caressing the familiar territory of my skin. Warm lips begin to travel down my neck, planting kisses across my collar bone.

"Christian I need you. Touch me please." I plead with him, my body aches for his touch _there._

His fingers move lower finally meeting their goal. I hear him hiss a sharp intake of breath.

"So ready Mrs. Grey."

Tilting my head back I focus on the movements of his fingers and his thumb, around, in out, swirling, touching, tempting, and bringing me to the brink, then back again.

"Ahhhh…" I whimper.

Abruptly he removes his fingers. I watch intently as he lifts his gaze to meet mine then placing his first two fingers in his mouth sucks on them, tasting me.

"Delicious Mrs. Grey," He flashes me a wicked smile before taking my mouth with his once more. He moves his body over mine, parting my legs with his knee.

"Open your eyes Ana. Watch me as I take you…my beautiful wife."

My eyes widen at the sensitivity I feel, my body accepting his, holding him, taking all of him in. Automatically my body convulses around his. Tremors shoot through me. The intensity emanates throughout me. Stiffening my legs and causing me to cry out incoherently.

"Give it all to me." He growls intensely and he begins to move.

Slowly and steadily he forces my body to climb again. Never taking his eyes from mine, gazing heatedly at me, owning me as I own him. I grip his arms with each of my hands and swallow hard. I am acutely aware of the building deep inside of me. Suddenly he plunges in deep calling out my name.

"Christian!" I scream and hold him tightly, falling apart at the seams, again and again.


	45. Chapter 45

**The morning sun spreads **light within the room, bathing us in its optimistic radiance. Christian's finger tips trace my shoulder blades and he plants a kiss between them. I am lying on my side and can feel his chest hair tickling my back.

"Did you sleep well Mrs. Grey?

"Hmmm…especially the second time I fell asleep."

"Me too." I sense his grin against my neck.

We lie in each other's arms replete for a few more minutes before my stomach begins to grumble.

"Breakfast in bed?" He asks kissing my back again as his fingers make a path down my spine.

"That would be lovely. But…I need to pump first."

His fingers stop their trail abruptly and he turns my body so that we lie facing each other.

"Breakfast first then I will take care of you."

"Christian I can pump really, it's okay."

I watch his eyes searching mine as he stroke my cheek. "This weekend I am yours and you are mine. We are here solely for each other's needs and desires."

He leans in skimming my lips with his. I nod my ascent and lean back against my pillow enjoying the view as he stands pulling on his pajama bottoms that hang in _that way_ off of his hips. _I bet he didn't even pack the pump_ my subconscious smarts. _You bet he didn't_ my inner goddess replies with a cheeky wink.

Soon Christian returns with my breakfast set out on a tray.

"Granola, Greek yogurt and a fruit salad," he says placing the tray on the bed in front of me. Crossing his legs he sits beside me and picks up the muffin he has on his plate. I watch his fingers peeling the paper back. My mind flicks back to the first time I watched his long fingers unwrapped his muffin. The first time he took me to coffee. I am just as enamored with him now as I was then.

I pull the sheet up and tuck it to cover my bare chest before picking up my granola and yogurt.

"What are we doing today?" I ask in between bites of breakfast.

"I have plans for later this afternoon. Until then I thought maybe we could go down for a swim."

An entire weekend of being lazy, doing exactly what I want to do with my husband when I want to do it. This is bliss and I plan to enjoy every moment of it.

"Sounds good to me."

We finish breakfast and Christian insists on putting the dishes away, still not letting me lift a finger. I grab my phone from my purse and call Grace briefly to check on Ted. She tells me again how wonderfully he is doing and lets me talk to him. I love hearing his tiny baby sounds and grin like an adoring mother the entire time I am on the phone with him. After hanging up I settle back in the bed and enjoy the peaceful solace surrounding me. The warm midmorning sun blazing through the windows warms me body and soul. I think about things I would like to see and do while we are here. Going to Central Park is on the top of my to-do list. I have always wanted to take a carriage ride through the park. I want to see a play on Broadway too, I wonder if Christian has that in his plans for us.

The sound of his feet padding down the hallway distracts me. When he climbs back in bed I cannot help my shy smile.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks running his thumb across my cheek bone.

"Nothing much, just about what I would like to do while we are here."

"Oh? And what would that be?"

I tell him how much I want to take a carriage ride through Central Park and how I would love to see a Broadway show. He taps the side of his nose knowingly and winks at me. I am giddy with delight at the idea that he has already planned these activities for us. He continues stroking my cheek, looking deep into my eyes before moving his body closer to mine. My breathing ceases when it becomes apparent to me what his intentions are. _Will I ever stop feeling nerves before he does this? _

"Ana, is this okay? Are you comfortable with me doing this?" I know he can sense my tenseness every time.

I nod slowly because I am comfortable with it. In fact I want it desperately. The thought of asking him though is very difficult for me. I cannot help the feeling of _what would everyone think if they knew we were doing this _that lingers in my mind.

"You can always tell me no Ana." His tone is serious and firm.

"I know Christian. But I don't want to. I want you to do this for me."

He smiles and pulls his pillow down to lie next to my chest. Scooting his body down he places his head on the pillow and turns me on my side so that I am facing him. I pull the sheet down revealing my breasts for him and he caresses me tenderly. His strong fingers' running across my delicate skin causes chills to run through my body. I wrap my right leg over his body, effectively drawing him closer to me, and I feel his mouth find one of my nipples. The sound of my soft sighs breaks the silence in the room as I let my muscles go flaccid. Relaxing against him we share our profoundly intimate moment with each other once again.

**I flip the hair dryer** on and begin running my fingers through my long locks. After a morning swim, an exquisite lunch and a hot shower I am dressing for our evening out on the town. I toss my hair in front of my face and bend over continuing with the task at hand when I see Christian's bare feet from between my legs. He runs his hands down my body starting at my spine and continuing over my buttocks pausing a beat before moving further south. A sudden chill causes my body to involuntarily convulse.

His hand continues to move along the same pathway thrilling my senses with each touch until I finished drying my hair and stand back up. When I do I see his reflection in the mirror. In one of his hands is a pair of white satin strappy sandals and hanging from a hanger held by his other hand is the most charming robin's egg blue colored maxi dress I have ever seen.

"You're first presents for tonight Mrs. Grey." He presents them to me smiling eagerly.

Reaching out I finger the delicate material of the dress. It is pure silk, the bodice is boned, the straps are thin, and it has gathered satin at the waist band which flows to a waterfall drape in the front.

"Do you like it?" His voice is warm but hesitant.

"It's simply exquisite Christian. It's perfect." My face radiates with the joy I am feeling.

"Good." He beams back at me. "Come, let me help you dress."

He turns back to the bedroom and I notice the delicate strapless white lace bra and thong panties he has laid out of the bed for me. I step into the panties and slide them up my waist then hold the bra against my chest, he helps me fasten. When I slip the dress on he kisses each of my shoulders before zipping the zipper. Then he reaches behind him and takes a black velvet box from the dresser.

"Your next gift," he says opening the box. As the lid pops up it reveals an exquisite solitaire diamond necklace. Taking it from the box he puts it around my neck. I lift my hair allowing him to fasten it. My other hand automatically goes to the diamond, grazing it softly.

"And of course your second chance earrings." He presents me with the earrings I wore to the masked ball at his parents' home over a year ago. Turning to face him I place my hands against his chest. Staring up into his passionate gray eyes I see his adoration for me.

"I love everything Christian."

He leans down and kisses me slowly, tasting me, testing me, holding my lips with his until I am breathless. His hands move down to my behind and he gives me a gentle squeeze.

"I'll finish dressing Mrs. Grey and then we will be on our way."

While Christian dresses I apply a bit of light pink blush, lip gloss and mascara. Then I reach down into my purse and retrieve a small velvet pouch. My inner goddess smirks her knowing smile. He has his plans but we definitely have ours too. I step into my strappy satin sandals and take the chair from the vanity. Just then the bathroom door clicks open and he steps out wearing his gray pants that hand from his hips and a crisp white linen shirt. I feel my cheeks heat up but I hold his gaze with my own as I open the velvet pouch producing the silver balls.

"You want to play Mrs. Grey?" He asks raising one eye brow at me in speculation.

I can only nod.

"Bend over." Holy hell, his voice has gone sultry and deep but it's still smooth as satin at the same time.

Holding onto the chair with both hands I do just as he said. I feel him hitching my dress up and pulling my new lace panties aside.

"Put the balls in your mouth Anastasia, you know what to do." I eagerly comply has he begins to manipulate my body, readying me for what is to come. Sensation begins to build deep inside my belly and I can feel myself coming close. I whimper and I removes his fingers too soon.

"The balls Anastasia." He holds his hand out and I place the now warm and wet balls in his palm.

"Relax baby…." He caresses my behind, talking to me, coaxing my body into submission. "Take a deep breath…" His tone is slow and abysmal. I breathe in once then release my breath and let myself go lax in his hands.

Slowly he slips the balls in one at a time. An almost mute cry escapes my throat at the full weight I feel. His lips kiss my back side before he straightens my panties and my dress.

"The rules are the same as before. If it gets to be too much you can always take them out." He places the velvet pouch back in my hands and I return it to my purse.

Walking to where my purse sits on the bed I begin to recognize the pull I feel in my belly. It is delicious and familiar.

"Ready?" He asks with a full grin on his face.

"I am Mr. Grey. Shall we?" I place my arm in the one he is offering to me.

"We shall."


	46. Chapter 46

*If you cannot see some of the first few chapters please let me know and I will private message them to you. I know some of the chapters are expiring from the site b/c of how long they have been up*

**We step out onto **the New York City sidewalk in front of MiMA. I'm grateful for my new maxi dress as the summer heat is already evident in just the few moments we have been outside. It is early evening but seems that the sun is still very high in the sky. Christian grasps my hand with his and beams down at me.

"Happy?"

"Very and I love the dress you picked for me." Standing on my tiptoes I peck his check.

The sights and sounds of downtown Manhattan fill my ears and my eyes. The sound of horns honking, the deep roar of bus engines as they drive by and exotic smells for local restaurants fill my senses. People move past us, talking, hailing cabs, darting in and out of area restaurants and shops. The city is alive with hustle and bustle. Christian lifts his arm and a yellow cab pulls up to the curb stopping in front of us.

"A taxi, Mr. Grey?"

"Much easier than trying to navigate New York myself, I promise." He beams at me before opening the rear door for me and scooting in beside me.

"Where to?" The taxi driver asks.

"The Marquis Theatre."

I turn to Christian and my mouth drops from surprise.

"The theater? What are we going to see?" I am almost squealing like an excited child.

He pauses for a moment, gazing into my eyes before speaking. "Evita," he finally says.

A smile spreads across my lips. "Oh, Christian!" I exclaim wrapping my arms around his neck.

He laughs and grasps his hands around my waist before kissing me soundly on the mouth.

"Now sit down and buckle your seatbelt Mrs. Grey." I do as I'm told but cannot wipe the grin off my face.

By the time we arrive at the theatre the muscles in my face muscles are almost sore from the permanent smile which has not left my lips. Christian pays the cabby then opens his door and comes around to open mine. I place my hand in his as he helps me out of the cab. We stand together on the sidewalk and I watch the cab pull away, merging back into the line of traffic. The feel of soft lips grazing my hand brings me back to the here and now. He pulls me to his side and walk to the front doors.

We are seated in our own box on the mezzanine level near the right side of the stage. The plush seats are a deep red. My eyes cannot help but roam the large theater observing my surroundings. The seats below us are plush as well, some of them are red further towards the back, and the ones in the orchestra section are a purple color. A large chandelier hangs in the center of the ceiling and a burgundy curtain matching the seats hides the stage from our view for now. Goosebumps dance on my arms when the orchestra begins to play. Dim light surrounds us and the room grows darker by the second. I feel myself stop breathing when the curtain begins to rise. Christian kisses me just below my ear whispering his love to me. I lean back into his side feeling pure exultation as the show begins.

The ornate curtain comes down hiding the stage from our view. Every pair of hands in the theater meets providing an applause which resounds against the walls. Looking down at my own hands I feel how they tingle with soreness because I clasped them together tightly as I watched the show and now they ache from my own clapping. When the applause begins to die down Christian takes my elbow in one hand while placing the other at the small of my back. We make our way out of the theater into the night. The air is still warm and although it is dark out the city is anything but. Lights blinks and shine around us from other buildings and headlights seems to slowly shuffle through the street as the traffic moves.

"To dinner Mrs. Grey." Christian grins and hails a cab.

The cab pulls to a stop after a few minutes and when I look out the window I see the name of the restaurant, Hakkasan. Before I have a second to think Christian is opening my door and helping me out.

"This looks familiar…" I say raising an eyebrow to him. We ate at Hakkasan in London when we were on our honeymoon. The most amazing Chinese cuisine I have ever put in my mouth.

He lifts my hand to his lips, holding my palm he places a warm kiss on each of my fingertips. I subtle sigh escapes from my lips at the pulling feeling deep inside of my belly. I'd been so wrapped up in the show I'd almost forgotten. Christian flashes me a wicked knowing smile.

"I remember how you enjoyed it in London; I thought it would be nice to dine here again."

We are seated in a quaint private corner booth. The cushions of the booth are a deep rustic red and the seat is dotted with black satin throw pillows. The table in front of us shines, it is a dark hunter green, almost black. Just like in London the atmosphere is obscure and dimly lit.

The waitress appears and asks for our drink orders.

"The lady will have a Lavender Mumbai and I will have a Hitachino Nest Classic Ale."

I smile as he orders our drinks, exactly what we had in London.

She efficiently writes down our drink orders and leaves us to pour over the menu.

After several minutes of deciding and trying to choose whether I will order what I had last time or try something new I finally settle on the Jasmine Tea Smoked Chicken.

"Trying something new this time?" He asks with a sparkle in his eye no doubt noticing how many times I have turned the pages of the menu.

"Yes, I am, the Jasmine Tea Smoked Chicken, what about you?"

"I'm going to stay with my favorite, the Grilled Chilean Sea Bass with Chinese Honey."

"What is it with you and sea bass Mr. Grey?" I tease him.

"It evokes fond memories." He whispers in my ear before gently nipping my lobe.

Briefly I close my eyes and shift my head ever so slightly towards his mouth allowing him easier access to my neck and ear. His warm breath washes over me, the ache in my belly growing with each peck he presses behind my ear. The sudden feeling of someone approaching us pulls me from my trance and back to reality just as the waitress approaches us again. Feeling me pull away Christian rights himself and casually orders our meal. I glance at him and blush, no shame. He acts as right as rain like he hadn't been seen necking with his wife in a public restaurant.

Our meal is beyond exquisite and we dine leisurely enjoying every taste and moment together. We finish our experience by sharing a coconut pudding. Our waitress sets the pudding on the gleaming table top. Christian takes one of the two spoons from the dish, setting it aside as he picks up the other one in his hand.

"Close your eyes Ana…" He breathes in my ear. I comply and feel his fingers brush across my lips before he presses a spoon of dessert to my mouth. Parting my lips I taste the pudding, heavenly. Slowly I open my eyes and see him watching me intently as I enjoy the sweet exotic taste. He takes a bite of the dessert for himself before offering me another spoonful. Gladly I take the offered bite letting my lips and tongue linger a bit longer on the spoon I give him a glimpse of my mouth licking the utensil clean.

He regards me intently, his pupil dilating, his gray eyes shining wickedly. Boldly I move my hand down to his thigh and squeeze his leg gently.

"Naughty little vixen." He growls under his breath as I continue allowing my fingers to travel north until I feel him hardening beneath me.

"What. Are. You. Going. To. Do. About. That. Mr. Grey?" My voice is barely a whisper.

"Oh I have some ideas."

He offers me the last bite of dessert and I take it gratefully.

"I cannot wait to get you home." His mouth covers mine, his hands framing each side of my face. "Your mouth tastes so sweet. I can't wait to taste the rest of you."

My body shudders on the spot, the ache in my belly growing stronger. These balls have to come out soon or I will die. The waitress appears with the check and takes our empty dessert dish away. We cannot get back to MiMA soon enough. I know Christian can quench the thirst of desire building inside of me.


	47. Chapter 47

*I've had a few reviews ask 'where is this going?' in reference to my story. It's going in the direction of normal life. I have no intentions to add car chases, shoot outs, security guards Jack Hyde or Elena to my story. I loved the Fifty Shades Trilogy but believe that at the end of the third book Ms. James showed us with her look ahead that life for Ana and Christian resumed normalcy. I want to show that. The challenges they face in my story are such as being new parents, breastfeeding, dealing with a new life with an infant...of course its not all normal b/c well this is fiction and Christian has $$$$ but that is my goal in my story.

Thank you all for reading, I love your reviews and look forward to getting them every time.

**The feel of hot** searing kisses lingers across my shoulders.

"Turn around Mrs. Grey." I comply and watch myself in the floor length mirror which stands in the corner of the bedroom as Christian stands behind me unzipping my dress slowly. His mouth follows the path of the zipper continuing to move lower. I watch as my dress falls to the floor in an azure cloud, billowing at my feet. He hooks his thumbs around the thin white lace of my thong and pulls it down to join my dress. His lips and teeth gently graze each cheek, causing me to shudder, before he stands and moves to sit on the bed, pulling me with him.

"Put your hands on my shoulders and straddle my leg. Do not move your hands, keep them there." He growls seductively against my skin.

Placing a hand on each of Christian's shoulders I move my legs, one on either side of his leg. I can feel his muscles move beneath the linen shirt as he moves his hands to the middle of my back, unfastening the bra and allowing it to fall. Fiery gray eyes lock with my adoring blue.

"Don't come yet…do you understand?"

"Yes…yes sir…" I nod my head. I love it when Christian is tender with me but I love it when he is dominating with me too. I smirk at my thoughts. He said we didn't have a submissive bone in our bodies' gloats my inner goddess. _Oh, how many times have we shown him that isn't always so_.

He takes in a sharp breath and cups my breast in his hand. He entices my nipple with his tongue, persuading it with soft tweaks, hardening it against his mouth. His other hand explores the apex of my thighs. The weighty feeling there is almost too much for me to stand. A whimper escapes my lips.

"Christian!"

"Hush now…feel me…feel my fingers. What will I do to you with them?" I feel him murmur against my breast then he laps up the milky droplet which has formed on my tip.

I keep my eyes fixed in front of me, looking out the window, watching the world go by. Focusing on what he is doing to my body. I cannot watch him, if I do I know I will fall apart too soon.

He tugs the string causing the balls to shift marginally inside of me, still remaining in place. His thumb begins circling the my sensitive spot while he spreads moisture with his index finger, moving back, and further back. As his lips seal around my breast his finger finds its goal. I gasp at the full feeling, the balls, his finger and him suckling at my breast. _Don't come. Don't come. Not yet._ I repeat the mantra over and over again in my head but I feel dizzy and my thoughts are spinning. _Oh God. _I moan and place my hands in Christian's hair, holding him to me, holding on to him, feeling my body as it begins to climb. He senses it and stills his movements removing his fingers; he switches his mouth to my other breast he starts the entire process all over again. Enticing my nipple, tugging the string, rubbing his thumb, his index finger finding its goal and nursing my breast. I feel like I will explode if I have to withstand another minute. My body craves release.

"Come now Ana." He commands softly against my nipple abruptly hooking his thumb around the string and pulling out the metallic spheres. Momentarily I notice his index finger has remained where it is, continuing the intimate ministrations. Then all of my thoughts are obliterated and thrust into oblivion.

"Christian! Yes! Oh…" I scream and cry out before silencing into soft mewls against his shoulder, my body still splintering.

"I feel you on my leg Ana…give it all to me baby."

Clutching my fingers into his shoulder blades I squeeze my eyes shut no longer able to resist the excruciating heights he is taking me too. And it goes on and on until I am wrung out, completely empty with nothing left inside of me.

**Christian's fingers twirl and** comb through my hair as I rest my head on his chest. We are lying sated in each other's arms, sleepy from our lovemaking. Dark peace swirls around us. I can hear his hear his heart beating a steady tattoo beneath my ear. Sighing I tangle my legs with his, only the sheet is covering our naked bodies.

"What are you thinking baby?"

"Hmmm…I'm thinking about how lucky I am to have you."

I feel his lips press to the top of my head.

"It's been quite a year hasn't it Mrs. Grey?"

"More has happened than I could have ever imagined." I muse out loud. I have dealt with an enormous myriad of emotions over the past twelve months. The happiness for my wedding, the shock of being pregnant, the fear of what happened with Jack Hyde, the exhaustion of pregnancy, giving birth to Ted, bringing him home and the challenges of being a new mom. It's overwhelming sometimes but having Christian with me makes it all easier and worth doing.

Christian's voice interrupts my reverie. "It has all been worth it my beautiful girl. You make me whole."

Tear prick the back of my eyes and I lift my head from his chest to meet his gaze.

"I love you Mr. Grey." My voice cracks with unshed tears.

He cups my cheek and strokes his thumb across my bottom lip before kissing me gently.

"And I you."


	48. Chapter 48

*Thank you all for your sweet and beautiful reviews!*

**The scent and warmth **of Christian envelope me, breathing in deeply I relish this moment. His arms are wrapped around me, my back to his front. His hands are resting on my belly and I know he is still sleeping by the sound of his rhythmic breaths. He protected by pregnant stomach with his hands while we slept throughout my entire pregnancy. Most mornings I still wake to find him holding me this way. Dreamily I trace my fingertips over the backs of one of his hands. He held me just like this the first time we felt our little blip move inside of me. Christmas morning of last year we were lying like this, holding each other, talking about our little blip. I smile remembering that I was trying to convince Christian we should find out if our Ted was a boy or a girl at my next appointment. Suddenly I felt a tiny kick, I gasped at the feeling and my hand reflexively went to cradle the spot on my belly.

"Ana," his voice was full of wonder when he said my name. I knew he had felt it too.

Just for good measure our blip kicked once more in the exact same spot, definitely making sure he was noticed.

"That's our baby Christian. I can feel our baby." My face stretches with a grin even now remembering feeling Ted move inside of me for the first time. The moment he picked to let us feel him could not have been more perfect. After that moment our blip moved every morning when I woke up and his daddy was holding us in his arms.

I feel Christian nuzzle my neck, inhaling deeply and kissing my hair. I turn my body to face him.

"Hi," he smiles at me.

"Hi."

His fingers trace my face, my neck, my collar bone and down to my breasts. "Have you been awake long?"

"No."

"What have you been thinking about?"

His eyes follow his fingers as they continue to trail softly across my skin leaving goose bumps in their wake.

"The first time we felt blip move inside of me."

A warm smile spreads across his lips, meeting his eyes. His face lights up immediately at the memory.

"You were holding my belly when I woke up just like you were that morning. Just like you have since I first became pregnant with Ted."

He moves his hand back down to my bare stomach, tracing my skin there now.

"Holding my pregnant wife was one of the most precious things I have ever experience in my life Ana. The feeling was inexplicable, more miraculous than I could have ever imagined it to be."

An unnamed emotion quickly passes across his face, as if he is unsure what he wants his next words to be. Caressing my belly he draws in a deep breath then continues to speak. "I still can't believe everything I have is real sometimes. Having our son, holding him, it is wondrous. Ana, promise me someday I will have you in my arms again protectively holding your pregnant body against me."

We've never talked about having more children until this moment. I've always secretly wanted more children, never wanting Ted to be an only child like I was. Christian and I have not expressed our thoughts about more children to each other though. My pregnancy with Ted was such a shock that it always felt like a delicate subject.

Marveling at Christian's words I cover his hand with one of mine. "You want to have another baby?"

"Someday yes, Ted is just a new baby now. I know it's too soon…"

I brush my lips against his, closing my eyes I feel my heart rejoicing at his words.

"I want to carry another child of yours inside of me Christian."

He reaches his hand to the bedside table. Opening the drawer he takes something out and brings it between us. A small velvet box rests in his hands.

"I was going to give this to you tonight…" He begins.

Watching him I listen intently to his words. _Another present?_

"But right now seems like the perfect time." He opens the box revealing a white gold or platinum ring, I'm not sure which. In the center of the ring is a large sapphire, surrounding it is a circle of emeralds.

"This is a mother's ring. The center is a sapphire, your birthstone and the emeralds are Ted's birthstone. When we have other children we can add another circle of stones or replace some of the emeralds with the other children's birthstones." He turns the ring so I can see the inscription on the inside. _Anastasia beautiful mother of our children._

Christian lifts my shaking left hand to his mouth and presses a kiss against my wedding band and engagement rings then he takes my right hand in his and slides the mother's ring on my ring finger gently kissing it.

I take his face in my hands and kiss him. I kiss him with everything I am and everything I have. He groans parting his lips and encircles me with his strong arms.

"I love you forever Ana." He breathes in between passionate kisses. Moving my body I straddle him allowing the sheet to pool at my waist then leaning down I take his mouth with mine again.


	49. Chapter 49

**I love love love all of your comments! I am so glad you all liked the mother's ring scene. According to my Word doc. My story now has almost 57,000 words. A typical 500 page book as an average of 100,000 words. I'm halfway to the length of the Fifty books. Thank you all for staying with my story, I hope you continue to enjoy it. **

**As always I do not own the characters, all rights go to E.L. James**

**We spend a delicious **morning in bed, taking turns demonstrating our love. Leisurely at an unhurried pace Christian and I explore the familiar territory of each other's bodies again and again. Repetitively touching, stroking, and kissing tepid sensual skin. Our actions feel carnal and necessary at the same time. I cannot help the involuntary dance my body composes. Feeling the sheets move under my sensitive skin only heightens my senses further as Christian moves his tongue in tiny circles against my inner thigh. Sucking, kissing, and kneading me gently with his mouth. He stops quickly and blows a warm breath against my core. Gasping I cradle his head with my hands. Stretching my legs and languid muscles I am lost in a euphoric heaven.

**"We should get out **of this bed sometime today." Christian states running his fingers up and down my arm.

"Hmmm…I'm quite comfortable here." I mumble my ascent somewhat coherently.

"Aren't you hungry Mrs. Grey? Would you like some fruit and cheese?"

"Hmmm…and a shower."

He kisses my lips firmly before standing. I watch hungrily as my god like husband walks to the doorway. He turns and smirks at me.

"See something you like Mrs. Grey?"

"I see something I love and can't get enough of Mr. Grey."

He chuckles. "So I shouldn't put on any clothes?"

"No. Sex Mad and Insatiable loves you just like this." I answer his smirk with my own before sinking back down into the luscious bed.

Christian returns with a tray of figs, strawberries, cantaloupe wrapped in prosciutto, small crostini spread with goat cheese and two glasses brimming with sparkling champagne. He sets the tray on the bed and sits down pulling me between his legs. His long fingers grasp a strawberry and he presses it to my lips. Gratefully I take a bite of the juicy berry.

"Delicious…" I moan licking my lips. "Now, let me feed you." I pick up one of the strawberries and turning to face him I offer him a bite.

Not taking his eyes off of mine he bites sinks his teeth into the perfectly ripe strawberry. I then take the same berry and suck the juice from it. I watch his pupils dilate and hear his sharp intake of breath. Next I reach for a slice of melon. First offering him a taste then taking one myself. The sweet flesh of the cantaloupe combined with the salty taste of the prosciutto is delightful. Grazing my tongue across his lips I gather a drop of juice before nipping his bottom lip with my teeth. He holds me to him placing a hand on the back of my head and devours my kiss vehemently.

"Tastes even better with you," he groans before picking up a toast with cheese and offering it to me. I run my teeth across his jaw. Enjoying the tickle of his stubble against my lips before taking a bite of the toast he is holding in his hand.

We continue to share our delectable lunch, taking sips of the bubbling champagne while we eat, all the while sharing touches, kisses and sensual moments amongst ourselves.

**Sitting on the bed **I allow Christian to dry my hair after our shower. I close my eyes and feel his fingers combing through my locks adeptly drying each strand. He works effortlessly at the task until my hair is dry and falls softly around my bare shoulders, the ends curling delicately at my breasts. He places a kiss on each of my shoulders before producing a gray silk tie from behind his back and holding it in front of me. _Holy cow, that gray silk tie._ _Where was he hiding it? _

"I'm going to blindfold you with this Mrs. Grey so you can't see what I am doing." My senses are on high alert, feeling his warm breath on my ear. "I've got another surprise for you."

My inner goddess is wearing jet black stilettos; her lip flushed in bright red and already has her blindfold on. She's eager to see what our surprise may be.

I nod my head, feeling my stomach drop to the floor. My muscles are clenching just at the feeling of what he is doing to me and the sound of what he is saying to me.

Before I close my eyes I see him raising the familiar tie in front of me, then my eyes are closed and all I can do is hear, feel, taste and smell. Christian wraps the silken tie around my head, tying it snuggly in the back. With my vision gone I focus my other senses. His freshly showered Christian scent lingers, surrounding me.

"No peaking," he says before I feel the bed dip.

I know he is standing up now and I can hear him moving across the room, opening the closet door. The doors close and the swishing of fabric can be heard. I hear the drawers open on the dresser then close again. _Another sexy dress chosen by a sexy man_ my inner goddess chides in again, rocking back and forth on her knees in anticipation. I feel delicate fabric brush against my leg as he lies what he is holding on the bed beside me. Another drawer opens then closes. I hear a bottle click open then close before feeling his warm strong hands on my arms then my chest, rubbing me, massaging my skin with a floriated scented lotion. Hmmmmm….jasmine…definitely Christian's favorite scent.

He moves his hands down to my thighs, massaging my legs, my calves and then my feet. He takes his time, concentrating on one leg at a time, relaxing every muscle in my body with his persuasive fingers. Once Christian is satisfied with his task I feel his hands cup my face and he kneads my lips with his. Passionately nibbling and sucking my lips and tongue.

"mmmmm…" I moan into his mouth and he swallows it along with my soft whimpers. All too soon he breaks away. His fingers move to loosen his tie.

"Are you ready to see your present?"

"Yes."

The tie loosens and falls from around my head. Christian stands again and when I open my eyes I see him in front of me holding a strapless dress. The dress is stunning, made of silver silk charmeuse. The silk wraps at the bodice flowing into a sarong-style skirt, cut a little higher in the front with a v-shape, the back of the skirt is longer. The dress is sexy and elegant all at the same time. Tentatively I reach my hand out to touch the dress.

"Christian I love it." My voice is breathy.

He smiles and lays it back on the bed gently. He then holds out a matching silver silk strapless bra and panties, garter and nude silk stockings with lace on the tops. He places the undergarments in my hands.

"I'll let you dress." He kisses me once more and taking his tie with him stands then turns to walk into the bathroom, leaving me with the sensual evening wear he has provided for me.


	50. Chapter 50

**Taking a bottle of** chilled champagne from the stainless steel bucket filled with ice I pop the cork and fill two glasses. The rosy champagne is crisp and bubbly as it slides down my throat. Nervously I smooth my dress out again and fidget with my hair. I decided to put it up in a French twist, allowing a few tendrils to frame my face. I will be much more comfortable out and about in the sultry New York City night without my hair falling on my neck and back. My hand rests at my neck turning the solitaire diamond over between my thumb and forefinger. I take another sip of champagne. I feel his eyes on me before he touches me. Keeping my eyes fixed on the window in front of me I inhale deeply, readying myself, gathering my senses before turning around.

Christian is dressed in a simple gray suit with a crisp white shirt and tie…that tie. My eyes stop, fixated on the tie. A multitude of images involuntarily flashes through my mind, the tie around my wrists, my graduation day, me naked wearing only it on his birthday, our wedding day, and him using it as a blindfold to cover my eyes. My body almost convulses on the spot. Slowly with purpose he stalks across the room to me. The frosted glass pendant lights hanging above the bar gleam dimly causing the copper highlights in his hair to glisten as he approaches. Watching me, he knows what he is doing to me.

"Cheers Mrs. Grey," he says picking up the other glass of champagne and gently clinks his glass to mine.

I tip my glass back and in a very unladylike fashion gulp down the rest of my champagne. My head spins momentarily as the liquid wets my now very dry mouth. Christian's eyes dance with amusement observing my actions. No doubt he is reveling in the evidence of my arousal to him. He sets his glass on the counter and runs his fingers up and down my neck. I can feel his breath on me as he speaks.

"Ready?" And I know he means many things with that one little word. His hand grazes my breast and cupping it he clutches me tenderly. He then places a light kiss at the top of each breast.

"Yes…"

His lips touch mine in a soft kiss. "Let's go then, the car will be here by now."

"Car?" I feel like a silly school girl, all I can say are one word phrases. Gah! I'm so turned on. Without thinking I reflexively squeeze my thighs together attempting to find some sort of friction for relief. He grins knowingly

"I've hired a driver for tonight Anastasia. I have quite the night planned for us. No time for hailing cabs."

I nod and put my arm through his. I grab my clutch purse from the counter and allow him to lead me out of the apartment.

**We are seated in** the private dining room of Le Bernardin. Votive candles dot the crisp white table cloth causing the entire room to shimmer with light. My eyes take in the room. The walls are a pale natural wood as are the coffered ceilings. The décor is minimal yet simply elegant. Christian orders an Austrian wine, which I dare not attempt to pronounce, and our dinner while I continue to almost gasp at my surroundings. This is exquisite beyond my wildest dreams.

Finally I return my eyes to our table and find Christian watching me intently. He smiles and I return his grin.

"This is amazing Christian."

"So are you." He takes my hand in his and kisses my palm. "Would you like to know what I have planned for the rest of the evening?"

"Yes!" I beam excitedly.

"After dinner we will take a private carriage ride through Central Park just like you wanted to…"

My hand flies to cover my mouth and I listen as he continues. "Then our car will take us to The Blue Note Jazz Club. I was able to purchase tickets for an exclusive and very intimate Michael Buble concert."

Instantly I feel a lump form in my throat. We've danced to so many of he and Frank Sinatra's songs, it could not be more perfect.

"Perfect…Oh Christian thank you." This time I press his hand to my lips, feeling his warm skin against mine.

Our waiter appears with our wine and appetizer. I raise my eyebrows at Christian and he beams at me as the waiter places a plate of oysters on our table. Christian thanks him and he retreats once more. Just as he has so many times before I watch his long fingers squeeze a few drops of lemon on an oyster before placing it to my lips. I tip my head back allowing it to slide down my throat. Darting my tongue out I subtly run it across Christian's fingertips, both are delicious. We finish the oysters one by one until they are all empty. The waiter returns to take our plate and provides us each with our entrées, pistachio crusted rack of lamb and grilled eggplant. My mouth waters as I cut into my lamb and take a bite. _Now I really am in heaven. _


	51. Chapter 51

This is not a chapter but is in reference to the review just posted by a guest who said they are and I quote 'tired of Ana and Christian saying and doing the same thing. Its getting old.'

Well so is your sour attitude. You don't like it? Don't read it. No one is holding a gun to your head and making you. Keep your nasty comments to yourself as I don't care to read them and only write this story for myself as well as the other AMAZING readers out there.


	52. Chapter 52

**We are seated in** the private dining room of Le Bernardin. Votive candles dot the crisp white table cloth causing the entire room to shimmer with light. My eyes take in the room. The walls are a pale natural wood as are the coffered ceilings. The décor is minimal yet simply elegant. Christian orders an Austrian wine, which I dare not attempt to pronounce, and our dinner while I continue to almost gasp at my surroundings. This is exquisite beyond my wildest dreams.

Finally I return my eyes to our table and find Christian watching me intently. He smiles and I return his grin.

"This is amazing Christian."

"So are you." He takes my hand in his and kisses my palm. "Would you like to know what I have planned for the rest of the evening?"

"Yes!" I beam excitedly.

"After dinner we will take a private carriage ride through Central Park just like you wanted to…"

My hand flies to cover my mouth and I listen as he continues. "Then our car will take us to The Blue Note Jazz Club. I was able to purchase tickets for an exclusive and very intimate Michael Buble concert."

Instantly I feel a lump form in my throat. We've danced to so many of he and Frank Sinatra's songs, it could not be more perfect.

"Perfect…Oh Christian thank you." This time I press his hand to my lips, feeling his warm skin against mine.

Our waiter appears with our wine and appetizer. I raise my eyebrows at Christian and he beams at me as the waiter places a plate of oysters on our table. Christian thanks him and he retreats once more. Just as he has so many times before I watch his long fingers squeeze a few drops of lemon on an oyster before placing it to my lips. I tip my head back allowing it to slide down my throat. Darting my tongue out I subtly run it across Christian's fingertips, both are delicious. We finish the oysters one by one until they are all empty. The waiter returns to take our plate and provides us each with our entrées, pistachio crusted rack of lamb and grilled eggplant. My mouth waters as I cut into my lamb and take a bite. _Now I really am in heaven. _

Once we are finished with our meal Christian places his credit card on the table, signaling to our waiter that we are ready to leave. The waiter quickly returns to settle the bill and bids us a good evening. Christian stands to help me out of my chair then places his hand on the small of my back he leads us out into the busy public dining area. New York's elite are out for their evening dinner dressed in their finest attire. The room is quietly abuzz with chatter as we make our way towards the exit. We are halfway through the dining room when I hear a voice call my name.

"Ana Grey?"

I do not recognize the male voice calling me in a questioning tone, almost as if the person is not sure if they have identified my correctly. Christian stops and we both turn in unison towards the young man seated at a table with two other gentlemen.

"Yes?" I ask hesitantly prompting him to continue.

He stands and places his napkin on the table before approaching me. I can feel Christian stiffen at my side, subtly raising his chin and grasping me around the waist.

"I'm sorry, you may not remember me. Michael Williamson, L&E Advertising?"

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. Hello, it's been a few weeks, yes I do remember you." I smile and shake his extended hand warmly. My nerves spike up as I recall how he looked at me during our one and only meeting and how I slyly indicated to him that I was married.

"Mr. Williamson, this is my husband Christian Grey." I hold my hand up gesturing between the two men while offering introductions. "Christian, Mr. Williamson is one of the representatives from L&E Advertising. He was part of the team that gave the presentation at the meeting this month."

"Mr. Grey, nice to meet you."

"Mr. Williamson." Christian acknowledges him and shakes his hand before continuing. "Thank for the work you are doing for my wife's publishing company." I catch the emphasis on the word _wife _in his tone.

"You're welcome sir; it has been my pleasure to have the opportunity." Mr. Williamson glances at me flashing me a smile. He is handsome, around my age with blonde hair and brown eyes. A very confident young man, too confident it seems. Kindly I return his smile as the air shifts to uncomfortable.

"Well, I won't keep you two. I just thought for sure I recognized you Mrs. Grey as you walked past my table. By the way you look stunning. Enjoy your evening. I'm sure we'll see more of each other."

"Thank you, good evening." He smiles again before turning to return to his table. The eyes of the other two men are locked on me, momentarily I am stunned by what has just occurred and I can't help but feel a tad uncomfortable. Most of his comments were amicable and innocent enough but the bit about me looking stunning was awkward.

** Seated in the back** of the Audi A8 I watch the cars and people going by as our driver escorts us to the park. Stealing a glance at Christian I find him smirking at me with an amused look on his face.

"What?"

"Yet another ensnared heart fascinated by your beauty Anastasia." He shakes his head and laughs lightly.

Blush creeps across my cheeks. There is no denying what Mr. Williamson's thoughts were especially after the 'stunning' comment.

"We only met briefly at the one meeting Christian. I swear I have not seen him before or since."

"Oh, I believe you. It doesn't take more than a mere second for you to make an impression like that on a man."

"I didn't do anything to encourage his thoughts or words." I snap back defensively.

"I'm not saying you did baby." Taking my hand he presses my palm to his warm lips. "You are just breathtaking Ana; you turn heads without even knowing it."

_Hmmmm…quite a change from jealous over Jose' Christian. _Give him credit, my subconscious demands while shaking her finger at me, he is growing and changing all for the better. I know she's right. A year ago this would have thrown us into a tailspin but now it's merely a small amusing bump in the road to him.

**Our carriage ride through** Central Park is beautiful. Christian says nothing more of the encounter in the restaurant, much to my relief. We only sit and hold each other, stealing tender kisses and touches while listening to the steady rhythm of the horse's feet click clopping against the ground. The sun has set and small points of yellow light are floating above the lush green grass. Fireflies dot the darkness throughout the park. Seeing one hover in front of me I reach my hand out and it lands on my finger.

"Look Christian! I caught one!" I cannot help my smile and it must be infectious because he is grinning back at me. "When I was a kid I used to love to chase them in the yard on warm summer nights." I explain further and then taking his hand I allow the little bug to crawl into his palm.

"Did you ever catch them with Mia and Elliot?"

At a leisurely pace the firefly glows yellow once more.

"No." He shakes his head, whispering in wonder. "I can remember Mia and Elliot catching them, it always looked fun when I was young but I never joined in."

Just then the tiny bug spreads its wings and takes flight, continuing to shine above us. My heart momentarily saddens when I think of Christian watching his brother and sister, running and laughing, but never joining in himself. Leaning up I kiss him tenderly.

"Well, when our Teddy starts walking we will all chase fireflies together on summer nights in our meadow."

"Ana…." He holds my face between his hands and looks into my eyes with adoration before brushing his lips against mine, again.


	53. Chapter 53

*A little short but I wanted to get something else up for you all since I didn't post much last week.

** Familiar notes emerge from **the black baby grand piano on the stage. My eyes dart around the room, noticing the other couples taking hands and walking onto the dance floor. I feel the warmth of Christian's hand in mine.

"I do believe they're playing our song Mrs. Grey. Will you do me the honor?"

Tears prick my eyes and I quickly nod my head. He leads me to the floor as Michael's voice of velvet begins to croon the first notes of 'You and I.' It has been almost a year since I first heard this song, when Christian dedicated it to me as our first dance as man and wife.

We are cushioned in each other's arms; his arm encircles my waist, pulling me tighter to his body. The low dim lights on the walls and flickering candles from the tables twirl and swirl around the room, enveloping the romancing couples intimately dancing. To us though, we are the only ones in the room.

Christian tenderly places his cheek against mine and we move as one unit. Our union is one that will never break. It is unyielding our love and commitment to each other is steadfast.

"I've found my strength in you." He whispers the words along with the song in my ear before trailing feather light kisses from my jawline down my neck. A single tear drop trickles down my cheek. Softly he brushes his lips on my skin, effectively kissing away my tears.

When the music begins to crescendo he twirls me around, I feel like a princess spinning on the dance floor. As the song finishes he pulls me back to his body and kisses me passionately with abandon.

The entire concert is captivating. The mood of the audience is comfortable and I can tell everyone is cherishing this moment in their lives. Christian pulls me to the dance floor time and time again. I would never resist, dancing with him is like floating on air. He always makes moving with the music so effortless. All too soon our evening comes to an end and we depart for the apartment. My feet ache from all the dancing but a permanent smile is playing upon my lips. I cannot help but notice Christian is wearing that very same smile. He has made our first anniversary one that I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life.

**It is midnight when** we return home. I shed my shoes the moment we enter the front door to the apartment and place my clutch purse on the small table in the entryway.

"Thank you again for a perfect evening Christian, it was heavenly."

He kisses me gently then proceeds to loosen his tie. "It's not over yet Mrs. Grey." He smirks.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Water please, I am so thirsty."

He walks in the kitchen and opens cabinet, fetching a glass and filling it with ice and water he brings it over to where I have taken a seat on the loveseat. I take it from his hands and gulp it down. The dancing, the heat outside, the food we ate and the alcohol I have been drinking over the past few days have left me very thirsty. Sitting next to me he lifts both of my feet in his lap before reaching for the phone.

"It's only about 8 o'clock at home." He says handing it to me.

"You go ahead and call him Christian. I'll talk after you, I'm sure he misses his daddy too."

Leaning my head back against the sofa pillow I listen intently as Christian talks with his mom about how Ted is doing. I can tell she asks how we are doing and if we are enjoying ourselves. He tells her about our night and I grin when he regales the story of our carriage ride and seeing the fireflies.

When she holds the phone to Teddy's ear he speaks softly to our son.

"How are you doing Ted? Daddy misses you so much son. Mommy and Daddy saw fireflies tonight Teddy. When you get big we will chase them together and I will catch one for you to hold son. Mommy and Daddy will be home tomorrow, we can't wait to see you and hold you. I love you son."

His words melt my heart into a thousand pieces. Listening to the marvel in his voice is miraculous and beautiful. Taking the phone from his hands I tell Ted how much I love him and cannot wait to hold him and kiss him again. He gurgles softly and I can hear his little yawn.

"Night night my sweet boy, sleep tight."

I hand the phone back to Christian and he says good night to his mom before hanging up. We sit in silence, quietly absorbing our evening together. His strong, supple fingers massage my sore feet into surrender. They relax and finally the ache leaves my body. I feel my eyelids begin to become heavy and I blink back sleep.

"To bed Mrs. Grey." Christian grins at me then stands lifting me in his arms.

"Christian, I can walk." I yawn sleepily.

"Save your energy for more important things." His lips brush mine before he carries me back to our room.


	54. Chapter 54

*Here's a little something hot for your Friday night ladies. ;)

**My fingers are lovingly** stroking their way through Christian's copper locks. I sigh with contentment and hear him groan mirroring my bliss with his own. I feel his lips press a delicate kiss against my flesh, traveling up to meet my mouth.

"Better?" He whispers against my lips.

"Hmmm…much," shyly I smile at him before taking his mouth with mine and nibbling on his bottom lip.

My nipples harden further, puckering up to meet his touch as he traces his fingers over them. His touch lingers, giving each of them exquisite attention. A poignant whimper escapes from my lips from his perfect caresses on my sensitive breasts.

Keeping his eyes on mine he reaches one hand up to his collar and loosens his gray tie, removing it from around his neck. He lays it on my bare chest and I reach for his shirt buttons. Slowly I unfasten each one revealing his muscular chest. I run my fingers through the hair there, feeling it tickle against my skin before pushing his shirt off his shoulders. He presses his lips to mine once again.

"Put your hands above your head Anastasia, keep your arms straight."

I comply and watch as he brings the gray tie up to where my hands are. I feel the fabric snaking around my wrists, effectively binding them together. He finishes the knot and tugs on it firmly to ensure I am efficiently bound.

"Now turn on your side, away from me."

I comply and face away from him. I feel the bed dip and move as he stands, I assume to discard the rest of his clothes. My mind is racing and my heart is pounding in my throat. He has never asked me to lie in this position before while bound. A million thoughts are swirling. _What will he do?_

Soon I feel him climb back on the bed. His chest is pressed to my back. I can feel the evidence of his arousal pressing against my behind. His hands massage my shoulders, my back and knead my behind. Following the same path in a sensual, repetitive fashion he loosens my muscles making me feel like jello. _Hmmmmm…warm jello my inner goddess snickers._

He moves one of his hands lower and from behind he spreads my legs. I gasp a sudden intake of breath when his fingers find their goal and push into me. The feel of ecstasy spreads like wildfire through my belly, into my back and down my legs.

"God you're so wet." He groans in my ear before biting my earlobe.

"Ah…for you Christian…Ah…for you." I barely recognize my own voice. It is laced with want and need. Need for him and his body.

"Keep your hands above your head." He orders. Then he lifts my leg in the air, bending my knee he curls my thigh back to rest against his.

Slowly I feel him press into me. He takes a leisured pace, letting me feel each inch of him. The feeling is hedonistic and decadent. I feel so full I think I could explode.

"How does this feel Mrs. Grey?"

"Good." I pant trying to capture my thoughts but they are all scrambling around.

"Good? How good? Describe it to me Anastasia. Tell me how you feel." He kisses my neck, sucking gently on my flesh. Reflexively I arch my arms back to stroke his hair. Ouch! I feel a slight sting against my behind from his hand. Quickly I put my arms back in position above my head.

"Do not move your hands." He admonishes me firmly before rubbing the stinging skin with his hand, warming it. "How does it feel?" He asks again continuing to move inside of me, setting a distinct pace.

"Full, I feel so full Christian."

"And…" He prompts me to continue. Find the words Ana, he wants to know how he makes your body feel. _Oh God, I cannot form a thought much less a word._

His hand moves back to the apex of my thighs where his thumb begins rubbing tiny circles.

"Full…wet…hot…Oh God…Christian…your thumb…your body…Oh Christian just fuck me…please."

"What a dirty mouth Mrs. Grey." I can feel his wicked grin against my skin and he picks up his pace, pounding into me relentlessly. My body begins to build, climbing to the highest point. Suddenly I notice he has untied the tie with his free hand, I feel the material slide away from my skin and he brings one of my hands down. Running my palm down over my sensitized skin until it meets with his thumb. He moves his thumb away and presses my own thumb against myself there.

"Help me make you come Ana. Make yourself come with me." His request is erotic and deeply intimate. I begin moving my thumb in circles just as I have felt him do so many times. I scrunch my eyes shut tightly, gathering all of my senses. The sounds of our grunts and gasps for air fuse together and dance in the darkness surrounding us. In seconds I feel my body fall, crashing down and I cry out as he plunges deep inside of me, giving me every part of him.


	55. Chapter 55

**"Happy Anniversary my beautiful** girl," he murmurs in my ear while running his fingers up and down the length of my arm tenderly. I sigh deeply feeling sated and tranquil in his arms. We are lying on our sides, still coupled as one. Neither of us has the energy nor desire to move after making love.

"Happy Anniversary my wonderful husband," I echo back to him. "Thank you Christian, for giving us this weekend."

His warm lips press against my neck causing chill bumps to breakout across my skin.

"Are you ready to go home tomorrow?" He asks.

"Actually I am. Our time away has been beyond perfect but I'm ready to hold our baby in my arms again."

"Me too," he laments quietly.

We lie still holding each other, our hands clasped together in front of my belly. I feel Christian begin to stroke me again from the inside. Groaning loudly I revel in the feelings he is beginning to elicit once again deep down. My body instinctively pushes back against him, allowing him to fill me entirely.

**We depart from the airport **at noon the next day on our return flight home. Returning home means seeing our son again but it also means beginning the festivities for the week of Kate's wedding. My best friend will walk down the aisle to marry the man of her dreams in only five days. Which means my mother will be arriving in a few days. She hasn't seen Ted since he was born and I am excited for her visit.

"What are you thinking about Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks interrupting my thoughts.

"Just about the busy week we have ahead of us." I reach for my iPad in the seat next to me and turning it on I tap my kindle app.

"Yes, family visiting and the wedding." He takes my hand in his giving it a gentle squeeze.

I glance up at him before starting to read my book. "I hope Kate and Elliot are as happy in their marriage as we are in ours."

He brings my hand to his lips, planting a sincere kiss in my palm. "I'm sure they will be. But you will always be the most beautiful bride I have ever seen."

My stomach somersaults and I mouth the words 'I love you' to him before turning my attention to my book. He settles back in his seat. No doubt in need of a nap from last night's endeavors.

**Grace meets us at **the door with Ted in her arms. Christian called her once we landed and were in the Audi to let her know we would be arriving soon.

"Welcome home!" She greets us both and Christian leans forward kissing her on the cheek. She places Ted in Christian's arms and we all make our way to the living area.

"Did you have a good trip? Grace asks beaming at us.

"We did." I smile back at her. "It was perfect." I can't help but blush a little thinking back over our weekend, _it was perfect. _

Mia comes in the room. "I thought I heard company!" She rushes over to me kissing my cheek and grabbing me into a hug. "Did Teddy tell you what a good boy he was for Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Mia?" She turns to touch Ted's baby cheek and a he giggles at her, giving her a little smile. "He was a perfect little angel."

"Well come sit, tell us everything. We're dying to hear about the concert." Grace invites us all to sit so we do. Mia listens intently ooing and ahhing over my every word about the concert. I tell them about the delectable food we enjoyed at the different restaurants, our carriage ride, and the theatre and show them the beautiful mother's ring Christian gave me. While Mia and I talk excitedly I catch Grace watching her son with his son. Christian has barely turned his attention from Ted. Talking with him, holding him up and bouncing him up and down on his lap animatedly. They are quite a pair, my boys.

The conversation flows between Mia and I changing topic to upcoming wedding. We talk about last minute things we need to help Kate with this week and the rehearsal dinner which Christian's parents are hosting at their home. As always Grace and Carrick have a divine party planned. Mia offers to accompany me to the airport on Thursday to meet my mom and Bob since Christian will have to be at work. I gratefully accept her offer knowing she will be a great help with Ted that day.

Teddy begins to yawn and I must admit I am a bit tired myself. Grace takes Ted from Christian's arms so he can help Taylor load the few bags into the SUV.

"Here Ana, you hold him sweetie. Christian has been a baby hog, taking up all of his time since you arrived."

I take my snuggly boy in my arms. "I don't mind Grace, he missed him so much. There's my sweet boy. Mommy missed you. Yes she did. I love you my Ted." I kiss his baby cheek causing him to grin at me.

**The white gates swing open** revealing the tree lined drive to our home. Time away in New York was heavenly but I am happy to be home again. Taylor pulls the car up to the front of the house and Gail immediately steps out of the front door to welcome us home. I think she's more excited to see Ted than anything.

"I'll take your luggage upstairs Ana, Mr. Grey. Do you need anything else?"

"No thank you Gail that will be fine." Christian smiles at her and turns to speak with Taylor instructing him about the schedule for tomorrow. I busy myself taking Ted inside and chatting with Gail before she heads upstairs. Waiting for Christian I feel my stomach flip flop. I have yet to give him my anniversary gift for him and I am excited to see his reaction when I do. The sound of the front door closing pulls my attention from my thoughts.

"Would you like something to eat?" He asks approaching me.

"Yes, but first I have a gift for you, come." Taking his hand I lead him to his study.

"Close your eyes Mr. Grey." I tell him holding Ted in one arm with my other hand on the door knob.

He smirks and raises and eyebrow at me. "You have me intrigued Mrs. Grey."

"Hush and just do it." I admonish him. He complies and closes his eyes tightly. Taking a deep breath I open the door and usher him in.

"Okay, now open them."

Christian opens his eyes and gasps from surprise. Hanging on the wall behind his desk are the photographs of me from Jose's show but two new portraits have been added, my gifts to him for our first anniversary. They are both black and white in keeping with the original portraits of Jose's and they were both taken by Jose as well. The first is a profile of me in a flowing chiffon gown with an empire waist cut. My eyes are downcast and my arms are tenderly cradling my pregnant belly. The second portrait is of Ted and I when he was only three weeks old. Ted is lying on soft plush blankets gazing up at me as I lean over him. Our noses are almost touching and our eyes are locked on each other. Even though I have seen the portraits before I can't help the tear that trickles down my cheek. My friend managed to capture the pure love between my son and I during my pregnancy and after I gave birth to him.

Teddy gurgles and coos in my arms. I plant a soft kiss on his head and watch Christian as he walks towards the pictures mesmerized.

"Ana, when did you? Jose, he took these?" His voice is full of awe as he marvels at the portraits.

"I have my ways Mr. Grey. Do you like them?"

He reaches his hand up tracing the bottom of one of the simple frames.

"Like them? Ana, I love them. They are so exquisite. He captured you and Ted so perfectly."

I walk over to stand by him and he turns to face me. Lifting his hand he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear then cups my cheek and pulls my lips to his. His lips graze mine softly.

"I am truly the richest man in the world Ana, rich in the pure love of my wife and son. Thank you, these mean so much to me."

He takes Teddy from my arms and kisses his head. "Look at Mommy Ted. Isn't she pretty?"

Teddy smiles his cheeky smile for Christian showing his baby gums, his gray eyes shining just like his fathers.


	56. Chapter 56

**Christian barely lets Teddy **out of his sight for the remainder of the afternoon. I take the chance to check my emails in my office. This week will be busy with the preparations for the wedding; I hope work can remain quiet to allow me the chance to focus on Kate as much as possible. Sitting down at my desk I fire up my laptop and pull up my work email. There is a new email from Hannah informing me of a Tuesday morning meeting between Roach, myself and L&E Advertising. I grumble to myself. I'm not sure if I have the desire to go to work tomorrow. Having been away for the past few days I was hoping for a day at home to spend with Ted and now I'm faced with the idea of going in to work. Quickly I type out a response to Hannah asking if my attendance is absolutely required. My inbox pings right away with her response. Apparently I am needed to sign off on a few minor changes to the advertising campaign. I fire one more email back to her letting her know I will only be coming in for the duration of the meeting and plan to bring Ted with me. I have missed him and do not want to leave him at home while I go to work. Of course she responds back with a beaming smiley face in the subject line. She is thrilled that Teddy will be coming to work with me. No doubt she and Claire are already making plans about how to dote on my little boy.

I shut down the computer and go downstairs to find Christian. He and Ted are outside on the patio enjoying the late summer evening. Standing at the doorway I take the opportunity to watch them for a few moments.

"Giddy up Giddy up Giddy up" Christian's voice is animated as he chants to Teddy bouncing him gently on his knee. Teddy smiles and gurgles in response to his daddy's smile and elation. I lean against the wall, crossing my arms in front of me and absorb the beautiful sight of their moment together.

Christian continues to bounce Ted then holds him up above his head before bring him down to plant a soft kiss on each of his baby cheeks. He glances in my direction and grins.

"Spying on us Mommy?"

"No, just enjoying the moment." I return his smile and approach them both. "Gail is almost finished with dinner, I stopped in the kitchen on the way down and it should be ready soon."

"Sounds good."

Teddy begins to fuss. "I think our little man here is hungry too. Is it dinner time for you too son?"

I sit down in the chair beside Christian. "Here I'll feed him."

I adjust myself and Christian places Ted in my arms. I smile at the pure joy I feel when Ted latches on to eat. I've missed this feeling. I had a few anxious thoughts and worried that Ted would reject my breast after the long weekend. I never shared them with anyone but they were there in the back of my mind. He places his tiny warm hand against my skin, gently kneading my breast as he nurses.

"Would you like to eat our dinner out here on the patio?"

"The weather is so pleasant, yes lets."

Leaning down Christian plants a kiss on the top of my head. "I will just go and ask Gail to bring it out here for us then."

Ted is just finishing up when Gail and Christian step onto the patio, Gail with our plates on a tray and Christian with my wrap for Ted in his hands.

"Thank you Gail, this looks delicious."

I cannot help but inhale deeply smelling the wonderful roasted vegetables and grilled salmon she has prepared for us. My mouth begins to water just looking at the food before me.

"I hope you enjoy it Ana, Mr. Grey." She goes back in the house and leaves us to enjoy our meal.

"Is he finished eating?"

"All done and burped Daddy." I sit Ted up on my lap supporting his little head slightly. He really is getting so much better had holding his head up on his own. I notice how his eyes are locked on Christian and an idea pops into my head.

"Would you like to wear him while we eat?"

"Me?"

I nod, "I wear him all the time, would you like a turn?"

"Ana…I…I'm not sure how." The hesitation in his voice is unmistakable.

"Here, you hold him and I will put my wrap on you."

He takes Teddy from my arms and stands stark still as I begin the task of wrapping the long fabric around his torso. Stopping periodically to tug gently ensuring it is snug enough to hold Ted.

"There now, all ready. Just put his legs through these two loops and his arms here. Now tuck this fabric around his head and he will be snug as a bug in a rug. Aren't you little man?" After coaching Christian and showing him how to position Ted's body his son is securely and happily hugged against his body. I shift my eyes up to meet Christian's face.

"That's it?" He asks.

"That's it." I smile back and Teddy yawns closing his eyes. "See? He's all comfy and ready to take a little nap. The sound of my heart always lulls him to sleep, now he gets to hear your heart."

Christian bring his fingers up to my chin and tilts it up placing a delicate kiss against my lips. "That's so beautiful Ana, thank you."

He pulls my chair out for me to sit then takes his place beside me gently cradling Ted's head with his strong hand. With the summer sun setting over the sound we sit on our patio and eat our meal. The warm breeze enfolding us mimics the warm feeling swathing my heart, both of our hearts as our son sleeps cozily against his father's chest.


	57. Chapter 57

**Life makes an abrupt** return as the alarm clock clicks on with the morning traffic news. Stretching my arms above my head I sigh, time to resume life as usual and leave our bubble behind. I hear the shower turn on and decide to join Christian. It's still a little early and Ted has yet to make a peep. Grabbing the baby monitor I pad across the bedroom floor and open the door to the bathroom. The delectable sight of my gorgeous husbands naked behind stepping into the shower greets me. I smirk to myself knowing he has yet to notice me. I set the monitor on the counter and quickly slip out of my sweat pants and camisole.

The warm water swathes around my feet as I step into our walk-in shower. I am careful to be as quiet as a mouse. Drinking in the vision of water droplets trickling down his muscular back I watch as he suds his hair. The muscles in his shoulders ripple. _Mmmmmm_…I bite my bottom lip and step closer. Slowly I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss each and every drop of water as they slide down his skin.

"Good morning Mrs. Grey."

My hands voyage down further, following his happy trail until they find their goal. _Bingo!_ My inner goddess squeals in anticipation.

"Now it is." I wrap my hands around him and stroke him intensely. My intrepid needy little fingers savoring the velvety firmness of his skin.

The deep groan which escapes from his lips resonates in his chest and I can feel it as I flatten myself to his. My breasts swell almost painfully causing my nipples to harden against him.

He steps under the water allowing it cascade over both of our bodies as he rinses the shampoo from his hair. I close my eyes and revel in the steam and heat that is surrounding me. He twists to face me; I move my hands momentarily but instantly place them back where they want to be.

"I trust our son is still sleeping?"

"Hmmm…mmmm…"

He raises and eyebrow at me. "And you're biting your lip?"

"Hmmm...mmmm…" I nod my head smiling salaciously up at him.

"Oh my dear Mrs. Grey, what am I going to do with you?"

Suddenly he picks me up, pinning me against the wall. Instinctively I wrap my arms around his waist and he promptly sinks deeply inside of me.

"Ah…it seems you know exactly what to do with me Mr. Grey." I gasp as he pulls out and pushes in to me again before setting a punishing quick pace. I tighten my legs around him and arch my back. _Mmmmm…better than breakfast_ _my inner goddess sighs, definitely the most important meal of the day._

** Taylor parks the SUV **at the curb in front of Grey's Publishing. Christian takes the car seat carrier, which holds a sleeping Ted, out and waits on the sidewalk for me. Taylor hands me my briefcase.

"I'll just wait here Mr. Grey."

"Thank you, Taylor. I'll be just a moment."

"I can take Ted and go in Christian, there's no need for you to come in." I offer, feeling silly that Christian is just coming in for a few moments.

"Nonsense, you carry your things I will carry him." Christian holds the door open for me to enter and follows behind toting Ted.

Claire immediately smiles upon seeing us. "Hello Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey and of course Ted."

"Hi Claire, he's sleeping now but I'm sure he will be up to visit with you soon."

She steps from behind her desk and bends down to look at Ted. "Look at him sound asleep, just like a sweet angel." She turns her attention to me. "Hannah is in her office, she has a few notes for you to go over before the meeting. She says she will watch Ted while you meet with the L&E reps. Let me know if you need anything though, I am more than happy to help."

"Thank you Claire, I will."

Christian follows me up to my office and set Teds carrier down beside my desk.

"You have everything you need?" He asks.

"Baby, baby bag, briefcase, yes I've got everything."

"Good. And you call me when you are finished. Taylor will pick you two up and take you home."

"I will Daddy." I grin up at him pressing my hands to the lapels of his gray suit.

"I wish I could have taken care of this meeting for you but with this new shipment to Africa I am swamped with meetings this morning myself. I promise I won't be late this evening though."

He encircles my waist with his arms, toying with the belt of my navy skirt suit.

"Yes I would like to have stayed at home with Ted all day but this is the next best thing. It's only for a few hours though. He should sleep through the meeting. Hannah will let me know if he needs me."

Bending down he kisses me chastely. "Laters baby," he whispers against my lips.

"Laters," I smile back at him. He releases me then turns and leaves the room.

Sitting down at my desk I open my filing drawer to retrieve the paper information I have on the account then turn on my iPad so I can take any notes I may require later during the meeting. Glancing down at Ted I notice that he yawns and stretches his little fingers out. With my foot I gently rock his carrier back and forth lulling him until he is still and lost in sleep again.

Hannah knocks quietly on the door frame before entering. She whispers as she speaks, careful not to wake the sleeping baby.

"Ana, Roach just called and said he has been delayed at home. He said he will not be able to make it in for the meeting but for you to go ahead without him. Mr. Michael Williamson from L&E Advertising is waiting for you in the conference room."

My stomach jumps up into my throat. "Is he the only rep. who is attending the meeting Hannah?"

"Yes ma'am. Is there a problem?" Hannah looks at me confusedly with question in her voice.

Standing I gather my file and iPad. "No, no problem Hannah." _I can handle Mr. Williamson and his inappropriate comments, should there be any. _My subconscious looks up from her laptop, _he'd better not try anything,_ she warns.With my free hand I straighten the bottom of suit jacket and adjust the wide belt.

"This should only take about thirty minutes and Teddy should sleep for another hour. Please come and get me if he needs me though."

"I will Mrs. Grey." She sets her laptop on my desk and begins her work.

"Okay, thank you Hannah. Remember let me know." I smile and then make my way to the conference room. My navy heels clicking against the tile floor as I do. Squaring my shoulders I take a breath and open the conference room door.


	58. Chapter 58

Mr. Williamson pushes his chair back from the large oval conference table and stands as I enter the room. My eyes note the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He is definitely flaunting a cool and self-assured ambiance.

"Good morning Mr. Williamson." My tone is blatant with a hint of pleasantness. Reaching out I offer my hand. Quickly he accepts and shakes it firmly.

"Mrs. Grey, how nice to see you again. Did you enjoy the rest of your trip in New York?"

"I did thank you. My husband and I had a very enjoyable trip."

_Remember that buddy? Husband. _My subconscious and inner goddess both chime in together.

"Michael please," he interjects, "and may I call you Ana? We'll be working so closely together on this project I don't see why we shouldn't be on a first name basis." He moves to pull my chair out for me. The coquettish note in his voice is unmistakable.

"Actually Mr. Roach will be handling this account in personal primarily. I will be working mainly from home for the next few months and I would feel much more comfortable if you address me as Mrs. Grey. I of course will afford you the same courtesy and address you as Mr. Williamson." I take the seat he has pulled out for me, no need to be rude, and begin opening my folder. "So shall we get down to business Mr. Williamson?"

Tilting my head up to look at him I motion with my eyes for him to take his seat next to me which he does. He clears his throat, obviously taken aback by my declaration and begins running through the changes to the campaign with unembellished precision. With him now more focused on the task at hand and less on flirting the meeting goes smoothly and the few wrinkles in the ads are ironed out in no time. I am grateful that Mr. Williamson has stepped back from his playful tone with me and is now behaving in a more professional manner. He listens intently to my opinions and takes dutiful notes promising that he will convey my wishes to the agency. We finish within the hour and I stand as the meeting comes to a close thanking him for his time.

"It has been a pleasure as always _Mrs. Grey._" I cannot help but notice the emphasis he puts on the title he addresses me by.

"Thank you Mr. Williamson. I look forward to seeing what your company has to offer to Grey's Publishing."

Walking towards the door he steps aside allowing me to exit first, I thank him then bid him farewell before returning to my office.

Hannah is sitting at my desk holding a now awake Teddy in her arms.

"We were just about to come and get you." She beams, "I think he is ready for lunch."

I take Teddy from her arms. "Thank you Hannah, I'll feed him now. Would you please take the notes I made during the meeting and type them up for me?"

"Yes ma'am, I'll get right on it."

"Thank you."

With that she closes the door and leaves Ted and I. I take a bottle of my milk from the refrigerator and a bib from his bag then sit in my desk chair to feed him lunch.

"You were hungry weren't you?" Teddy makes sighing sounds as he drinks his bottle hungrily. Little dribbles of milk pool on his chin then drip down to be soaked up by his sunshine yellow bib. Propping his bottle under my chin I reach for a granola bar I packed for myself in his diaper bag and tear it open with my teeth then take a bite as my stomach grumbles.

"Mommy did well today Teddy." I tell him as though he can understand my words. "I approved some great changes on the ad campaign and put that philandering Mr. Williamson in his place."

His light gray eyes watch my intently absorbing my features and the sound of my voice.

Just then there is a knock at my door. "Come in," I call to whoever is on the other side.

"Mrs. Grey," Claire steps in cautiously.

"It's okay Claire, you can come in." I assure her.

"Mrs. Grey, I have a note which was left for you in the lobby."

"Oh?" I reach out and take the folded note from her hand. "Thank you Claire."

"I'm off for lunch right now. Is there anything I can get for you from the deli?"

"No thank you Claire. After I feed Ted Taylor is coming to pick us up and we'll be heading home for the day."

She smiles and tells me she hopes to see us again before we leave then heads off to the deli to get her lunch. Setting my granola bar and Ted's bottle on my desk I drape one of his blankets over my shoulder then position him there so I can burp him. Before patting his back to coax a little burp out I open the note.

_Dear Mrs. Grey,_

_I found our meeting most enjoyable today. You are a very bright, intellectual and beautiful woman. I look forward to seeing you again soon._

_ Michael Williamson_

Crap. This man is not getting the hint. I thought for sure I had gotten through to him.


	59. Chapter 59

*Thank you to all of my followers for reading and thank you to everyone who reviews. I love hearing what you have to say!*

**As promised I call** Christian once I am ready to leave. He answers his phone on the first ring.

"Ana…" He almost purrs my voice when he picks up. This man can give me goose bumps just from hearing his voice over the phone.

"We're ready to go home Daddy." I announce with a chuckle in my voice.

"I will call Taylor then, he'll be right over."

Momentarily I pause, wondering if I should go ahead and tell him about my meeting and the note or if it would be better to wait until this evening. I decide that just getting it out is the best route to take. After over a year together we have grown so much as a couple and I don't want to tarnish that by not being completely open and honest with Christian.

"Christian…" I begin chewing on my bottom lip, trying to find the right words. "Something happened today and I need to talk with you about it."

"Is everything okay baby? Is it Ted?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Ted and I are perfectly fine. It's about the meeting this morning. Roach was unable to attend. It was just Mr. Williamson and I in the meeting."

He is quiet and I know he is listening intently so I continue. "He was a little forward at the beginning of the meeting and I was quick to tell him that I wanted to keep things professional and formal between us. I thought he had gotten the message but apparently not because he left a rather personal note for me with Claire."

"How personal Anastasia? What did he say?" Crap. His tone has changed and I know he is not happy and rightfully so. I quickly read the note to him verbatim.

"He never touched you did he?"

"No Christian. I told you the meeting went well I am just put off by this note. I thought he understood what I meant in the meeting but I guess not."

"I will take care of this Ana. I'm calling his boss right now. If Mr. Williamson persists with his ill mannerisms he will do nothing less than lose L&E Advertising's account with us and that is something they cannot afford to have happen. We are their first big account and I am very sure they want to hold onto our money."

"You're not mad at me?" I breathe out.

His tone changes subtly. "No baby. Why would I be mad at you? It is he who is making boorish advances. Do you want me to come home with you and Ted?"

"We'll be fine Christian, there's no need for you to cut your workday short." _God I love this man. _

"Are you sure? I can be out of here in two seconds."

"I'm sure. I love you Christian."

"And I you my beautiful wife, kiss our son for me."

"I will Daddy." By now I am beaming. The uncomfortable situation with Mr. Williamson almost forgotten.

"Laters baby," and with that he hangs up. I breathe a sigh of relief hopeful that this situation will be halted with one phone call from Christian to the head of the company.

I tuck Ted back in his car seat and collect our things making my way down to the lobby to wait for Taylor to arrive.

**I see Taylor pulling** the SUV up in front of the glass doors as my cell phone begins to ring from the depths of my purse. I mutter to myself about how I really need to clean out my bag because I cannot find a darn thing in it. Finally I locate the phone before it stops ringing and slide my finger across the screen to answer it without looking to see who is calling.

"Hello" I answer quickly in hopes that the person has not hung up yet.

"Long time no talk matron of honor." _Kate!_

"We just got back in town yesterday bride-to-be. I had a meeting at work this morning. How are you?" I am so excited to hear from Kate. I was planning to call her later this afternoon. It's like we have ESP with each other sometimes.

"Getting nervous about the wedding, Mom and Dad are in Seattle already. I love my mother but she is driving me to distraction with her overly eccentric excitement. She wants her hand in every aspect of the wedding and I know she is trying to make this the most magical day of my life and all but…arg! I just need some quiet time." She giggles catching her breath from the long spiel she just gave. "So are you still in town?"

"Yes actually I am. I brought Ted in to work with me this morning since I only had to be at work for about an hour."

Taylor comes through the door and I motion for him to take Ted's bags to the SUV.

"That's cool. So do you and Teddy want to come over to the apartment for lunch? I could run out and grab some Chinese."

"Sure, so you're not working this week?" I ask her slinging my purse over my shoulder and picking up Ted's carrier.

"Nope, took the whole week off."

"Well Taylor is here picking Ted and I up right now so we'll be there in a few minutes. I can stop for the Chinese on my way." I offer.

"Ok, thanks. See you in a few then?"

"Yep, see you in a few." I hang up the phone and drop it back in my bag. "Taylor, can you take us to the apartment? We are going to have lunch with Kate, and can we stop by the Chinese place around the corner first?"

"Yes ma'am. Do you need any help getting Ted in?" He motions to Ted in his carrier.

"I've got him." I slip Ted's seat in the back seat as Taylor holds the door open for me and secure him in.

"Let's go see Auntie Kate, she's not going to believe how much you have grown."

After reading through the menu at Mandarin Gate I order pan fried noodles, chicken with vegetables and a side of pot stickers for Kate and I's lunch. I pay the cashier and step aside to wait for my order. My mouth is fairly watering with anticipation for lunch. My granola bar has long worn off and my stomach makes that known with a grumble. I take a seat on one of the benches with a few other customers who are waiting as well and decide to call Christian to let him know about my change of plans. He is happy to hear that Kate and I are getting a chance to spend some time together before the true wedding madness ensues. I assure him that Taylor is waiting in the car with Ted while I order the food and that Ted is doing fine. Such a concerned daddy, I love him.

"Grey," the woman behind the counter calls my name producing a paper sack filled with my order. I raise my hand acknowledging that I have heard my name then tell Christian I must go.

"Call me when you are ready to leave Kate's and I will leave work at the same time. Taylor and I will come and pick you two up."

"I will, love you." I hang the phone up and grab my bag, thanking the cashier I turn to leave.

"So we meet again Mrs. Grey." I halt mid step at the familiar voice then raise my face to meet the eyes of Michael Williamson. _Damn, how daft is this man?_ My subconscious sneers, her voice dripping with disgust. I smile politely at him.

"I was just picking up lunch, nice to see you. Well have a nice afternoon." I continue walking with my eyes set on the door in front of me when I feel his hand grip my shoulder effectively stopping me.

"Would you like to stay and join me for lunch?"

I flick my eyes down at my elbow and he frees his grip of me. "No thank you."

"Another time perhaps?" He persists.

"Mr. Williamson I've tried to be polite with you but you seemed determined to persevere in your forward attempts. I am married and I am not interested in spending any time with you other than what is required for work."

Thoughtfully he strokes his chin and his eyes gleam in my direction. "Mrs. Grey, I am married as well but that does not mean we cannot enjoy each other's company."

The audacity, what the hell is wrong with this man? "Good day Mr. Williamson." My tone is clipped and I am aware of how rude I sound but my heart is pounding from adrenaline and I need to get out of here ASAP. Without another glance in his direction I storm through the door and quickly get into the waiting SUV. Taylor must notice my flustered state; I note his concerned glance in my direction from the rear view mirror.

"Ana, is everything alright?" He's using my first name so I know he is concerned.

"Everything is fine Taylor." I try to reassure him but I know I don't sound very convincing. He nods and pulls out into traffic.


	60. Chapter 60

**Leaning back against the** couch Kate pats her belly. "That was delicious, I am stuffed." She then lets out a little burp and laughs. "Excuse me."

I raise an eyebrow. "Very attractive," I light heartedly admonish her.

"Don't give me that lady like treatment Grey. You forget I lived with you for several years."

"It seems like it was so long ago, doesn't it?" Glancing around the room I cannot help but remember the day we moved in here. I hardly spent any time in our new home before leaving to live at Escala with Christian. Kate catches my far off gaze and looks at me questioningly.

"You okay?"

With a wave of my hand I dismiss my forlorn thinking. "I'm fine, just thinking about the day we moved in. Remembering how Elliot hung that TV on the wall for us. Who would have thought a little more than a year later you two would be getting married."

"Or that you would already be married with a baby." She shifts her body and reaches behind her on the couch to tickle my sleeping Ted's little socked foot.

"So many changes," I sigh.

We both sit in quiet contemplation for a few minutes. Each absorbed in our own thoughts. I'm sure we are both musing over the same reflections. Where did the time to? Wasn't it just yesterday when we were both cramming for exams and enjoying pizza with cheap wine on our living room floor? Now here we are planning the second wedding in a year. Kate breaks the silence.

"At least we had the foresight to marry brothers. Now we get to be sisters for life and nothing will ever tear us apart."

I can't help the smile that breaks out across my face, "true." I admit to her.

She claps her hands suddenly breaking our sentimental reverie. "So, tell me all about New York. Did you not just absolutely love it?"

I break into the story of our trip, leaving nothing out. Kate knows how to inveigle information out of me, even the juicy stuff which I would never dream of sharing with anyone else. I would just as soon die as to let my mother or even Mia know about the kinkiness of Christian and I's love life but Kate is eating it up with a spoon.

"I have got to get Elliot to spice things up like that with me."

Horror spreads across my face. "Don't you dare tell him where you got the ideas from!"

"Like I'd ever do that." She rolls her eyes at me. "Who knew that Mr. Uptight could be such a dream in the sheets? You know what they say Ana, gentleman in the street, freak in the sheets. I think that pretty much defines Christian don't you?" She elbows me playfully and I blush fifty shades of red. "Don't get coy on me Ana, you know I love the dirt. So tell me what you got each other for your anniversary."

Holding my hand out I show her my mother's ring. She gasps and is speechless by the beauty and sentimentality of the gift. I have to admit my husband does have a certain knack for gift giving. He never ceases to take my breath away by knowing exactly what to give me. I then tell her about the portraits Jose' took of me. She makes me promise to show them to her the next time she is at our house.

"That reminds me, Jose is going to be able to make it to the wedding."

"Oh, I thought he was shooting on location in Italy was unable to make it." I am delighted that he will be coming.

"Nope, he called yesterday saying he was coming and he is bringing someone." She winks at me.

"Someone? A girl?"

"That's the impression I got, it seems like he might finally be rid of his Ana affliction."

"Kate how you do go on, Jose and I are just friends."

"I know, but come one Ana, you know he wanted more."

"Perhaps, I'm just glad we are friends now."

Ted begins to fuss and stir behind us. Twisting my body to face him I pick him up in arms and begin to rock him. His sleepy eyes blink up at me and he lets out a scream. I ask Kate to reach for a diaper and wipes from his bag. She turns to the diaper bag beside her and begins to rifle through.

"Ana, what's this?" She hands me a diaper and wipes but holds up a piece of paper in her hand. Crap, the note from Mr. Williamson.

"That is a long story." I tell her standing on my knees and laying Ted back on the couch so I can change him.

She taps the note against her lips. "I've got nothing but time, spill it sister."

"Okay," I acquiesce. "Here you hold your nephew while I throw away his diaper and I will tell you the entire story."

"Deal," She nods her head firmly and takes Ted from my arms.

Starting at the beginning I tell her about his flirtations at the meeting a few weeks ago and how he saw us in New York at the restaurant and made forward comments to me in front of Christian. Kate is stunned by my explanation of Christian's reaction. "He really has changed Kate," I tell her.

"I know Ana, I just remember how easy it used to be to wind him up."

Continuing on I tell her how that moment in New York has continued to morph into more inappropriate remarks and finish up with our latest encounter in the Chinese restaurant this afternoon.

"Have you told Christian about this afternoon?"

"No, not yet. Just about the meeting this morning and the note."

Kate shifts her gaze down to Ted, bouncing him in her arms a contemplative looks passes across her face.

"Ana, the way this guy is acting is pretty freaky. I want you to be careful. Please tell Christian ASAP."

I bite my bottom lip. I agree it is scary and the way Mr. Williamson seems Hell bent on pursuing me.

"Seriously, I think he's stalking you." She continues on.

"I know," I whisper. The way he was just there all of the sudden this afternoon seems less and less likely to be a coincidence.

While I nurse Ted we switch our conversation to more positive one and talk about the wedding. Kate's other bridesmaids are flying in tomorrow. It turns out they will be staying here at the apartment with her. Her parents are staying at the Fairmont, she explains rather animatedly how that is for the best right now. I snicker to myself inwardly remembering how overwhelming the last minute wedding planning can be and how having your mother thrusting her opinions on you can only add to the stress. The afternoon flies by and we lose track of time. Before I know it my cell phone is ringing and it's Christian telling me he is leaving work and will be over to pick Ted and I up soon.

I confirm with Kate that I need to be at the church Thursday afternoon to help her oversee the decorator and ensure everything goes smoothly. She helps me to pack Ted's things up and before the doorbell rings she takes me by surprise by enfolding me in a hug.

"Thank you for everything Ana. I'm so nervous for Saturday. I couldn't get through this without you."

I return her hug and squeeze her tightly. "Just remember Kate, after all the glitz and glamour is over Saturday the only thing that matters is that you and Elliot will be man and wife. The rest of the stuff is just pretty fluff."

"I love you sis."

"Back at you. Laters baby." I smile at her picking Ted up just as Christian rings the bell.


	61. Chapter 61

**Pacing back and forth** over the floor of the nursery I sing to Ted and sway him in my arms. He fussed the entire way home and has been inconsolable for the duration of the evening. I tick off in my head anything else I might be able to do to calm his crying. I've changed him; he's not hungry, bathed him and even resorted to giving him drops for his tummy. If his tummy is what's bother him I hope the drops help him soon. He lets out another ear piercing scream and scrunches his little face up.

"Baby I wish I knew what to do to help you." I kiss him and decide to try swaddling him next to me in my wrap. I lay him down in his crib and put the wrap on then pick up my unhappy boy and snuggle him close to me.

His cries continue. I look up from him for a second and see Christian coming through the doorway.

"I'm so sorry I had to take that call in my office Ana. Is he still not feeling any better?"

I feel awful that I haven't had a moment to talk with Christian about the further occurrences with Mr. Williamson but Ted has demanded every moment of my time since we left Kate's a few hours ago. At this moment that is the furthest thing from my mind though.

"I've done everything I could think of. It might just be stomach cramps. I'm hoping that him being up right against me in my wrap might help him feel better."

Christian comes to stand in front of me and cradles Ted's head gently. Placing his fingers along the back of Ted's head, his thumb resting against his cheek, he bends down and kisses him.

"He's never fussed this much before. I feel so helpless Christian."

I'm tired and worried, I know those two emotions must be painted clearly across my face. He shifts placing his arms around my back, nestling Ted between our two bodies, and he begins to sway with me.

"Shhhhh…baby. I've got you both. Close your eyes Ana, just let go and feel. " His voice is a peaceful calm washing over me. With one hand he begins rubbing circles in the small of my back and I let my body go lax against his, allowing him to carry my stresses and worries away from me.

The fluid motions not only lull our sweet boy but I feel tranquil and cherished in his strong arms. Being embraced between his parents seems to instantly become a haven to our baby as his crying almost immediately subsides. He presses a tepid tender kiss in my hair and the resonance of Ted's yawn and then a sigh meet my ears. I feel his breathing pattern even out and I know he has drifted to sleep.

** The fluorescent lighting of** the break room surrounds me. It is late in the evening and I'm hungry so I reach into the cookie jar to grab myself a snack before leaving work. Suddenly my skin prickles as each hair on the back of my neck stands up. The sound of footsteps approaching fills me ears. My heart shoots up into my throat. _Oh God, not again, not again. I know this dream. I want to wake up. Wake up Ana! _I want to scream, I need to run but my feet are firmly planted and when I open my mouth no sound comes out. Clenching my jaw and squeezing my eyes shut I brace for his touch. Please come soon Christian, I beg in my mind.

I am stunned when the voice I hear is different from before but familiar now. Warm breathes skates across my neck. The situation is slightly offered but eerily equivalent to the others which plagued my slumber for months with no end in sight.

"You're a very beautiful bright and intellectual woman _Mrs. Grey_."

Cringing I try to move away but I am too shaken. Sweat beads on my forehead and I swallow the knot in my throat.

"Please go away." I plead but my voice is merely a murmur.

"Perhaps another time." He states, his tone is ice cold. Strong hands encircle mine effectively pinning them behind my back. His body pins my front against the counter and he pushes me forward until my cheek is resting on the cold tile.

"My wife likes it this way, I think you will too."

_NOOOO!_

"ANA! ANA! Wake up!"

Christian, Christian…Oh thank God he's here. Emerging from my nightmare I am vaguely aware that I screamed out loud. I remember screaming. My chest heaves up and down rapidly as I try to catch my breath. I feel his arms pressing me against his body and I can feel his bolstering warm. Abruptly uncontrollable sobs wrench my body causing me to shudder all over.

"Baby it was just a dream. I'm right here, I've got you Ana, breathe baby."

I attempt to mimic his breathing pattern to slow my own. Clinging to him I gradually come out of my anxiety, leaving my terror in my sleep. Once I can formulate a few words I begin to talk.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier Christian. I was just so busy with Ted and then I was so tired I fell asleep. I meant to tell you honestly but everything got in the way and I just forgot."

The words are spilling out of my mouth and I know I'm not making much sense but I am trying to articulate my thoughts.

"Slow down Ana. What did you need to tell me?"

"He found me again Christian." My voice breaks. I can feel his body instantly tense.

"Who found you?"

"Michael. I was getting lunch for Kate and I and he found me there. The dream, Oh God he came in the break room just like Hyde did. He pushed me against the counter. It felt…it felt so…so…real." I sniffle and wipe my nose as tears begin to slide down my cheeks anew.

Suddenly Christian sits me straight up, grasping my upper arms in his hands he fixes me with his gaze.

"Anastasia, are you telling me that he accosted you in the restaurant this afternoon? He followed you there?"

"Yes…but I don't know if he followed me. It could have just been a coincidence." Deep down I don't really believe that but it is still possible.

"Did you tell Taylor?"

I bite my lip and shake my head no.

"Anastasia! Why? Why did you not tell Taylor?"

"I just wanted to get away and get to Kate's. Teddy was safe in the car with Taylor."

In the moonlight I can see the stone gray of his eyes as he regards me. His stare is unwavering and I know he is scrutinizing my words, trying to determine what his next course of action should be.

"Christian, I'm sorry."

"Baby," without warning he crushes me to his chest. "You should have told Taylor yes. Hell you should have called me the minute it happened but please do not think for a second this is your fault. This fucker is going to find his ass out of a job so fast his head is going to spin."

I shudder at Christian's language. It has been so long since I have heard him use such derogatory words.

"I'm taking care of this tomorrow morning first thing."

All I can do is nod my head yes. Leaning back against the headboard he tucks me against his side and begins stroking his fingers through my hair.

"Sleep now Ana. You're safe baby."

Slowly my sobs subside and my eye lids grow heavy. When I finally drift off Christian hand is still running through my hair. His mind is racing I know as he reflects on what I have told him and mulls over what he will do to rectify the situation.


	62. Chapter 62

***Per several requests I am trying a few things from Christian's POV. Here is Part 1 of the last chapter. I am working on Part 2 of the same chapter. I may also give writing the bottle feeding chapter from his POV as well***

**"Yes…That's what I** would like Andrea. Please have the files ready for Roz and I in the morning…Be sure to mark that I will be off Thursday and Friday of this week for my brother's wedding…Yes that's all…you too…Good bye Andrea."

I set the phone down in its cradle and switch my laptop off before leaving my study. Leaving Ana with Ted is not what I wanted to do the moment we got home but I had to take care of a new account we are acquiring. That's all they are getting of me today though, I am finished with work. Passing by the kitchen on the way upstairs Gail stops me.

"Mr. Grey dinner will be ready in thirty minutes."

"Thank you Mrs. Jones." I acknowledge here kindly and hurriedly make my way to find Ana.

A piercing scream sounds and echoes down the stairs as I put my foot on the first step. Swiftly I mount the stairs two at a time. Bounding through the hall I approach the nursery but pause briefly in the doorway. Ana looks up and her eyes meet mine. My heart clenches at the flustered expression on her face.

"I'm so sorry I had to take that call in my office Ana. Is he still not feeling any better?"

She is adjusting a frantic Ted against herself in his wrap. His jerking arms and legs are fighting her every step of the way.

"I've done everything I could think of. It might just be stomach cramps. I'm hoping that him being up right against me in my wrap might help him feel better."

I cross the room to stand in front of them and reach out to touch his head allowing my thumb to rest near his mouth. His flawless skin feels smooth against my hand. Leaning down I press a kiss to his head feeling his fine silken hair beneath my lips.

"He's never fussed this much before. I feel so helpless Christian." Her voice is laden with exhaustion and anxiety.

Guilt pulses through my veins. I never should have left them alone for one moment this evening. It is so evident they needed me. Here with them now I promise myself to calm them both. Wordlessly I enfold my wife and son in my arms, pressing them both to my chest. I can feel the stress diminishing from Ana's body instantly. Ted's cries begin to subside and I move from side to side in a fluid motion. Rocking my loves back and forth, giving all of myself to them unselfishly. Nothing in my life will ever compare to holding my soul mate and our baby in my arms.

"Shhhhh…baby. I've got you both. Close your eyes Ana, just let go and feel. "

Rubbing circles in the small of her back I continue to soothe them both. The tiniest of yawns escapes Ted's lips and I know he is falling asleep. I press my lips to the top of Ana's hair just as I did to Ted not but a few moments ago. Feeling her warmth touching me I know she is consoled, they both are. I continue to sway, reveling in the tranquility.


	63. Chapter 63

And here's the other half ladies...

**_NOOOOO! _****I am abruptly** woken by a shrill screech penetrating the peaceful darkness. Discordant moans fill my ears and I am momentarily perplexed by the source until I feel Ana's body writhing next to mine. Sitting up brusquely I grab her arms and begin rubbing them firmly.

"ANA! ANA! Wake up!"

Please wake up baby, I beg in my head. Where is she? What is hurting her in her sleep? Please Ana, come back to me! Fear is suffocating me. The obscurity is choking and smothering the air from my lungs.

Her eyes spring open suddenly, searching my face wildly. She's awake; she's here with me now. Wrapping my arms around her I smash her to my chest. Her entire body is convulsing with endless sobs and her tears are soaking my skin.

"Baby it was just a dream. I'm right here, I've got you Ana, breathe baby."

Kneading her skin with fervent movements I attempt to calm her. Gradually her breathing pace slows, becoming more even with each breath she takes. She begins to speak. Her words are garbled and coming out rapidly as she tries to assimilate her thoughts

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier Christian. I was just so busy with Ted and then I was so tired I fell asleep. I meant to tell you honestly but everything got in the way and I just forgot."

"Slow down Ana. What did you need to tell me?" I continue massaging her back, speaking in susurrated tones to reassure her.

"He found me again Christian."

"Who found you?" I croon.

"Michael. I was getting lunch for Kate and I and he found me there. The dream, Oh God he came in the break room just like Hyde did. He pushed me against the counter. It felt…it felt so…so…real."

My blood turns cold and it's as though someone has knocked the wind out of me. Grasping her arms I pull her from my body and glower into her frightened clear, bright-blue eyes.

"Anastasia, are you telling me that he accosted you in the restaurant this afternoon? He followed you there?"

"Yes…but I don't know if he followed me. It could have just been a coincidence." Deep down I don't really believe that but it is still possible.

"Did you tell Taylor?" The volume of my voice rises. She bites her quivering bottom lip and timidly shakes her head 'no' at me.

"Anastasia! Why? Why did you not tell Taylor?"

I bellow at her. My voice is as harsh as thunder and I see her instantly wither in front of me. _Control yourself and your voice Christian. _The trepidation I feel is too great. Terror streaks through me white and hot at the thought of Ana in danger.

"I just wanted to get away and get to Kate's. Teddy was safe in the car with Taylor." She pleads with me trying to explain.

"Christian, I'm sorry."

Subtly I shake my head. Fuck, get it together Grey. She's terrified and you're not helping matters. When my gaze meets hers again my eyes are softer.

"Baby," I pull her towards me again, enfolding her with my body. "You should have told Taylor yes. Hell you should have called me the minute it happened but please do not think for a second this is your fault. This fucker is going to find his ass out of a job so fast his head is going to spin."

Her fragile body shudders against me and I pull her to me tighter.

"I'm taking care of this tomorrow morning first thing."

I feel her nod her head 'yes' against my chest. Adjusting our bodies I tuck her beside me.

"Sleep now Ana. You're safe baby."

I run my fingers through her chestnut hair, reveling in the security of knowing that she is here with me now. She is safe. I will always keep her safe as long as there is breath in my body. Long after her she has drifted into a deep slumber I stay awake, keeping vigil at her side, ensuring that her sleep for the remainder of the night is a peaceful one. This man will not hurt her at any time. I hold my other hand in front of me, clenching my fist then flexing my hand out. No matter what I have to do, he will not come near her again.


	64. Chapter 64

***I'm glad you enjoyed that bit of time in Christian's head. Back to the story for now and Ana's POV***

**Strong fingers caress my** cheek. I turn my head away from the touch and bury my face into my pillow. Just a few more minutes of sleep, I beg trying to shut out the morning light.

"Baby wake up." Christian's voice cajoles me, urging me from my slumber.

It is then that I hear a cry and whimper from Ted. I blink my eyes open and see Christian sitting beside me on our bed holding him.

"There weren't any more bottles Ana."

I yawn and nod my head knowing I need to wake up and feed Ted. I can't help the exhaustion I feel due to my agitated night of sleep. He lays Ted down beside me and I begin to lift my camisole.

"Let me Ana, just rest baby."

"No, I've got him Christian. You go ahead and shower for work."

To my surprise he doesn't leave he lies down alongside Ted and reaches up to cup my cheek with his hand. Reverently he strokes my cheek with his thumb as Ted nurses hungrily, making his baby grumbles and laments, enjoying his breakfast.

We lie silently with only the sounds of Ted breaking the stillness of the room. I bask in the reticence, my eyes locked with Christian's, loving blue to adulating gray. I cannot help how my mind wanders to yesterday's events. I wish my thoughts would go anywhere else but after my nightmare they are locked on the matter. Remembering how real the dream felt a shiver creeps through my body.

"I see it in your eyes Ana. I know you're worried."

Involuntarily tears well in my eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm trying not to think about it but I can't stop."

"You are safe. You both are safe. I've emailed Roach and the CEO of L&E already this morning."

"I just want it all to go away." A single tear manages to escape and trickles down my face.

"It will baby." Propping himself up on his elbow he kisses my lips softly then presses a kiss to the top of Ted's head.

**"Am I not making** myself clear Roach? I want L&E Advertising dismissed immediately. You will find another advertising agency." Christian's voice booms throughout the downstairs hall.

The door to his study is barely cracked open and I can clearly hear his anger which Roach is currently receiving the brunt of. I attempt to return my attention back to playing with Ted who is sitting in his swing on the kitchen counter while I slice some fruit for lunch.

"NO, absolutely not, she will not be coming in to work today."

I hear the continued one sided conversation but cannot make out any more details. A door slamming makes me jump. Christian's angry footsteps approach the kitchen swiftly and dread fills me. Things did not go over with Roach well, I know it. He stalks into the room past the room. The sound of the patio door slamming startles me. Mrs. Jones looks over in my direction, pity gracing her solemn face. She motions with her head for me to follow him.

"Go ahead Mrs. Grey, I've got Ted."

Wiping my hand on a kitchen towel I mouth the words _thank you_ and leave to find Christian.

I find him seething on the stone patio. The feel of his frustration is palpable and the air is concentrated with it. Cautiously I approach him and place my hands on his shoulders. I feel him slump under my touch.

I consider my words prudently before speaking. "I heard some of your conversation." No response.

"Why did Roach want to know if I was coming in today?"

He rolls his head from side to side in an attempt to alleviate the tension building up in his body.

"He wants you to file a report against Mr. Williamson formally. Why he won't just drop the damned account with L&E is beyond me. I've got a good mind to do it for him."

I take a moment to soak in what Christian has revealed to me and weigh my options.

"The campaign they have presented to us is solid Christian. It is what we need to further our customer base and grow the business. I've seen their work myself, it's excellent. Can we not just request a new rep? The one who was in the first meeting with Mr. Williamson perhaps?" I suggest.

He exhales the breath he has been holding and turns to face me.

"We can but Roach is adamant about your filing a complaint against Mr. Williamson for his disorderly conduct."

"But he hasn't sexually harassed me right out. He's kept it very vague."

"Probably on purpose. Baby you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can just fire L&E without any explanation."

Resigning to that facts and what I need to do I shake my head at him. "No, I can go in and file the report. I need to do this the right way Christian. I can't hide behind your coat tails. This is my company and I am going to run it the proper way with prestige and good business practices."

He gazes at me as if he is in awe of my words. Twisting a lock of my hair around his finger he lowers his tone of voice when he speaks to me.

"You're so strong Mrs. Grey."

"Something you've known for a long time Mr. Grey."

"If you really want to do this Ana I'll go with you. I don't want you going anywhere by yourself."

"Let's have lunch with our son first. Call Roach and tell him we are coming in and to have the necessary paperwork available."

"I will."

Mrs. Jones has lunch prepared when we come back in the house. We sit and eat while playing with Ted. Watching him is such an innocent and refreshing activity in comparison with the world outside of our home. I decide to take him in with me again today. I don't plan on being there for a long duration of time and I had intended to spend the entire day with him. I'll be damned if this thing with Mr. Williamson is going to take me away from my son. The sooner I file this paperwork the sooner this situation will be rectified and the sooner I'll be rid of Mr. Williamson.


	65. Chapter 65

I deciding to give you all a bonus scene today. This is Valentine's Day 2012, before Ted was born. I hope you all enjoy it! :)

Thank you for reading!

Valentine's Day 2012 Extra

** My reflection in the **mirror reveals a perfect round basketball shaped belly. At six months pregnant I marvel at how fast my little blip has grown. I let my fingers glide over my tightening skin contemplating what he will look like when he is born. Will he have my eyes? Will he have his father's nose? Three more months before I find out I tell myself. Some days it feels like I have been pregnant forever and others it feels like I just found out yesterday. I finish drying off from my shower and reach for the bottle of cream on the sink. Squirting some on my hand I begin to rub it all over my swollen belly.

"Let me Ana," I startle at the sound of Christian's voice. How long has he been there watching me?

He pads softly across the bathroom floor coming to stand behind me. Wrapping his arms around my body he takes a swipe of lotion from the jar then rubs it between his two hands briefly to warm it before applying it to my skin. A soft moan escapes my lips as he begins to massage me. The cream relieves my dry stretched skin. Abruptly a tiny foot or hand kicks against me. I giggle at how blip makes himself known the moment he feels his father caress my belly.

"He's saying 'hi' Daddy." A broad smile stretches across my face.

Christian gives special care to touch me gently where blip just kicked. Once he is satisfied with the job at hand he moves to face me and drops to the floor on his knees. He presses his lips to my belly and I feel flutters in my stomach. Will I ever not feel this way when he touches my pregnant belly? The feeling of euphoria is indescribable. To know that we made this little baby together and that we are his mother and father is miraculous.

"Hi back to you my son. I love you."

I tangle my fingers in Christian's hair, basking in our moment together. He rises and his lips meet mine immediately.

"Hi Mrs. Grey, Happy Valentine's Day." He whispers against my mouth in between kisses. Kisses which grow deeper with every movement of our lips and every stroke of our tongues. Consuming me and leaving me floating on clouds.

"Our first,"

"The first of many," he answers back.

He reaches to the back of the bathroom door and takes my robe from the hook, helping me to put it on then tying the sash in the front.

"Come, I have a gift for you." He takes my hand and leads me from the bathroom into our bedroom.

The morning sun is just beginning to shine over downtown Seattle and is bathing our bedroom with radiant light. The city below is white with a fresh blanket of snow which fell throughout the night while we slept.

My eyes hastily swing to the large window and what is sitting in front of it. A beautiful cherry rocking chair sits in the corner. My eyes swing to Christian and back to the chair several times. A please smile creeps across his lips.

"For you to rock our baby in, do you like it?"

Without words I walk over to the stunning piece of furniture and trace my fingers over the curved back and down the spindles. Tears spring into my eyes.

"I love it," My words are few and breathless.

Christian comes to join me by the window, enfolding me into his embrace he cradles blip and I. I lean my head back against his chest. Feeling his warm skin and inhaling his unique scent. I could cloak myself in his fragrance. It has become a thing of familiarity and comfort in these past twelve months.

"It will be beautiful in the nursery at the big house. I want it right by the window so I can look out over the sound when I rock him and feed him. It's so perfect Christian, thank you."

He nuzzles my neck planting feather soft kisses down to my shoulder. Deftly his fingers untie my sash allowing my robe to drop and pool at my feet as I turn to face him. His eyes search mine and subtly I nod with conformity.

"Yes, love me, please." I confirm with my words what my body is already conveying to him.

He scoops me into his arms and carries me to our bed. Gently he lays me down amongst our pillows and tousled blankets from the night before.

"I'm going to love you Ana, all of you." He declares and trail kisses down my neck, across each of my breasts taking special care to touch me in the most delicate caresses.

Multiple whimpers escape my throat urging him on. He continues his journey southward. Kissing my legs, my thighs and finally the apex of my thighs ever so lightly. His mouth finds its way to mine again and I kiss him passionately with wild abandon. My heart is singing and every inch of my skin is tingling, pulsing from his touch.

"So beautiful Mrs. Grey." He shifts parting my legs with his and oh so slowly sinks inside of me.

Cradling my head with his hands, he begins stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. Molten gray eyes are locked to powder blue. Our souls intertwined into one. He tenderly molds himself around me, protecting my swollen belly with his body. When he begins to move at an achingly slow pace I let go of the breath I wasn't aware I had been holding. Every inch, every movement feels mind-blowing. My sensitive body is exceedingly susceptible to his ministrations and I glory in the moments. Closing my eyes I feel my body tensing, I feel myself climbing higher and higher.

"Let go sweet girl. Give it all to me Ana."

In a brazen moment of pure ecstasy I shout out incoherently, "Come with me Christian! Please!"

My words push him over the edge and he thrusts into me deeply. Driving me over the edge again and again we fall together. Calling out each other's names. Our words and groans emerging as one.


	66. Chapter 66

**Pen to paper, I **put my signature on the last form necessary. I can't help the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hope I'm doing the right thing and not opening a bigger can of worms than I can handle. Setting the pen on Roach's desk I compile the stack of papers and place them in his hands. Silently he scans over them one at a time then puts them in a file folder.

"I have contacted Mr. Hardin, the executive director of L&E, in regards to the complaint you are filing against Mr. Williamson. He is expecting this file and will be calling Mr. Williamson in to address your complaints with him once he has received these papers."

I swallow and thank him. I also tell him that I do not wish for Mr. Williamson to lose his job but only to be taken off or our account.

Roach purses his lips and rubs his thumb across his chin in contemplation. Christian speaks up before Roach has a chance to.

"Ana, he may have accosted other women like this in the past. You may just be the first one to speak up."

Roach nods resolutely and turns his gaze in my direction. "I agree with Mr. Grey, that is a possibility. Or there may already be complaints filed against him. Only time will tell what Mr. Hardin decides to do but we have requested that another rep be assigned to our account. I will notify you when that change has been made."

"I appreciate it Mr. Roach." Standing I shake his hand firmly then take Ted from Christian's arms. Christian shakes Roach's hand and motions his head for me to move towards the door. He guides me from the room with his hand on the small of my back.

Buckling the straps in Ted's carrier I secure him in, readying him for the ride home.

"You've been quiet." Christian remarks reaching for the carrier.

"I guess I have."

"Why? Tell me what's wrong."

"I hope I'm not jumping to conclusions by filing the paperwork."

"Ana, you heard what Roach said. You're doing the right thing."

Fiddling with the strap of Ted's bag I twist it around my fingers. "I guess I'm also feeling a little out of touch with work. Having Roach handle this and hiring the new representative from L&E. I think I'm ready to start getting my hands dirty, taking the lead a little more."

"You can do that from home Ana. You can get back in the driver's seat and command Grey's Publishing anytime you want. You are the CEO Mrs. Grey." He gives me his sexy half grin and I almost melt into a puddle.

"Yes…Yes I am Mr. Grey. Thanks to you and your overbearing protective ways."

"I believe in you Ana."

Leaving the diaper bag on my desk I turn my body to face him, placing my arms around his waist. "And I love you for that, and so many other things."

He moves his free hand to the nape of my neck, entangling his fingers in my hair.

"I am in constant awe of you. Never doubt yourself Ana. You are so strong and intelligent. You can do anything you want to do."

Taking a cue from the moment I press my lips to his. Softly moving my mouth against his, all too soon I find myself lost then remember we are in my office. I break our kiss as Ted begins to coo and gurgle.

"I think he's reminding us we are at work." Christian smirks against my lips. "Shall we go to lunch?

Sitting across the table from Christian I take in the sight of him and our son. Who would have thought that my enigmatic, gorgeous CEO would be seen at lunch wearing his baby in his wife's chocolate brown baby wrap? Adoration is spread across my face as I sitting gazing at them both. Ted's plump little cheek is pressed against Christian's white linen shirt. His darling rosy lips form a little _O_ while he sleeps. He looks like a perfect porcelain doll. Christian rubs Ted's back in a soothing rhythm while he eats his lunch. My steak is divine and I eat hungrily, mostly musing to myself and enjoying our time together. How did I ever get so fortunate? I have things that other women only dream about. A devoted, loving husband, a beautiful baby, my dream job and I live in my dream house. I'm not sure what I ever did to deserve being this blessed but every day I am grateful.

My thoughts shift to the rest of the week. My mother and Bob will be arriving tomorrow morning. I can barely contain my happiness thinking about my mom holding her grandson in her arms. She is not going to believe how much Teddy has grown in just eight weeks. He is already almost ten weeks old. It feels like just yesterday we bought him home. Thank heavens we had my mom and Grace to help us those first two weeks. The always self-assured and confident Christian was a mess at times with our newborn Ted and I was recovering from my cesarean. Now we have fallen into a comfortable routine. Our new little family is complete in every way. The pride I feel for what Christian and I have accomplished together is overwhelming. It is amazing what our love can create.

Moving my eyes from Teddy, my gaze connects with Christian's.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asks.

I give him my shy smile. "I was just thinking about us, our family, how we created our Ted from our love, how much he has grown."

He reaches across the table. Taking my hand in his he begins strumming his thumb to and fro across my knuckles.

"I couldn't have said it more beautifully Mrs. Grey. It is like you were inside my thoughts. I was thinking the exact same thing."

Raising my hand to his lips he places a warm kiss into my palm causing shivers to run through my body.


	67. Chapter 67

I've received a few reviews suggesting I jump ahead to when they decide to have Phoebe. I plan to do this after Kate's Wedding. It is currently Wed. in the story and the wedding is Sat. I have been keeping a detailed time line for my story.

I've also received several reviews from guests that I misspelled Ros's name and added a z to it instead of an s. Thank you for noticing, typos happen. ;)

Please be assured that I constantly reference the books, I've read them 10+ times all the way through not to mention how many times I look back at certain parts while writing. I work very hard to make this a story I would enjoy reading. I am very aware of how much description, personal thoughts and dialogue I use in the story. I try my best to keep a healthy balance of all things and stay true to the story as it was orignially written.

That's all for now. If you have questions it is easier for you to have a login name because then I can PM you back instead of having to post in my chapters.


	68. Chapter 68

**Before I post my new chapter...One of my very very favorite Fanfics on this site for Fifty is Gold Digger. I encourage you all to check it out. It is the first fanfic I ever read on here. The author is writing the time between book 2 and book 3, the month which was left out leading up to the wedding. **

***************Ok on with the new chapter***************

**An uneventful rest of **the day is a welcome thing. After filing the paperwork this morning against Mr. Williamson I want nothing more than to put that entire situation behind me. I am hopeful that this will be the case but the nagging feeling that Mr. Williamson will not relinquish his persistent advances toward me easily stays with me. These thoughts often haunt my psyche but I have no intentions of burdening Christian with my musings. They are purely just that, my musings, and there is no reason to saddle him with worries about things that may or may not happen.

My email pings late in the afternoon; it is an email from Roach. I feel disbelief sweep through me as I read the words. Apparently Mr. Williamson did not dispute my allegations against him and a new rep has been assigned to our account. A Mr. Brooks and Roach will be meeting with him later this week. I breathe a sigh of relief soaking in the meaning of the email. Praying everything is final now and will not continue further. Roach goes on to say that their layout for the ad campaign will remain as it was and will not be altered in anyway. This is good news because I quite liked it as it was. I believe this will launch our eBooks in a tremendously positive manner. I look forward to seeing my publishing company grow and I am confident in L&E's ability to put us in an upward direction, only without the help of a certain rep. I choose to put his name out of my head and focus on the positive things at hand.

My mother is arriving tomorrow and Kate's wedding week is getting into full swing. Only good things will happen for the remainder of the week. Putting a smile on my face I quickly type back an email of thanks and confirmation to Roach then put my blackberry on my bedside table before going to find Christian and Teddy. I am sure they are playing on the floor in the living room and the thought of joining them makes my heart swell.

**Dressed in the cutest **khaki overalls with his yellow ducky shirt Teddy sits in my arms waiting for his Grammy and Grandpa Bob. Taylor stands beside me as we wait at SeaTac for them to appear from the airport terminal. Christian had insisted that Taylor accompany us. I am sure the reason being because of the occurrences with our ex rep. Still it is nice to have the extra help with carrying luggage and I do feel safer knowing Ted and I are not alone. Taylor is a great comfort to me, I trust him with our lives. I can barely contain my excitement while Teddy blissfully coos and blows bubbles on his lips at the passersby.

After a few minutes, which seemed like hours, of waiting my Mom appears. I see her smile and hear her shriek in delight as she rushes over to us.

"My baby girl and beautiful grandson!" She exclaims enveloping us both in a huge hug. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bob smiling and I return his smile. When Mom releases us she reaches for Teddy.

"Let me get a look at you baby boy. You've grown so big since Grammy saw you the last time." Ted is all grins for his Grammy and I melt watching the two of them together.

Bob comes over to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. He's not usually over affectionate but I think seeing my Mom with her grandson makes even the tough Bob a little mushy.

"It's good to see you again Ana."

"It's good to see you too Bob." I return his warm half hug.

We all follow Taylor down to the baggage claim where he and Bob retrieve the luggage. Mom has not taken her eyes off of Teddy for two seconds. Poor Bob hasn't even had a chance to see him because Mom has yet to turn him loose. Once we are at the SUV the luggage is loaded and we start for home. I share the details of the next few days with my Mom. Letting her know what events Kate's family has planned for the wedding week and that the rehearsal dinner will be hosted at the Grey's home. She is excited for the chance to see Grace and Carrick again. They have only had the opportunity to talk a few times since our wedding and I was so happy that both families got along so well those during those few instances. Gazing at her playing with Teddy in his carseat I am so happy my family will be here this week. I know it is for Kate's wedding but having everyone stay at our home fills me with peace.

**Gail prepares a beautiful** feast for us to enjoy. Walking through the dining room I marvel at the meal she has spent all day preparing. The aromas floating from the kitchen make my mouth water. She is setting the last dishes on the table when I hear the front door open. Mom, Bob and I are seated in the great room and Bob is finally having a turn at holding Ted. Ted is content with Bob but his eyes are fixated on my Mom. He is in love with his Grammy.

Christian walks into the room and bending down his kisses my cheek. Whispering the word 'hi' in my ear before moving to where Mom and Bob are sitting on the sofa. My Mom stands to envelope him in a hug which I know surprises Christian.

"It's so good to see you again Christian." She smiles releasing him.

"I'm glad you could come and stay with us Carla." "Hi Bob," He nods in Bob's direction.

"And how is my son doing?" Bob offers Ted up to Christian and Christian takes him into his arms. Teddy's smile illuminates as he gazes into his father's eyes.

I catch my Mom watching the exchange between father and son.

"It looks like he is definitely a daddy's boy."

Christian shakes his head, "No, he's more of a mommy's boy."

"I don't know Christian; I haven't seen him smile like that all day." She discerns pleasantly.

"Don't let Christian fool you for a second Mom. Teddy has him wrapped around his little finger." I interject.

Christian flashes me a look filled with love and adoration which does not go unnoticed by the one and only Carla Adams. Nothing gets past my Mother, she was after all the first one to point out just how in love with me Christian was when we first started…dating…seeing each other…ummm…well there's no proper way…mom friendly way that is to explain how our relationship first started. Yes, that's something I will never be sharing with my mother.

_Not unless you want to see her go through the roof_ my subconscious smarts. _Oh shut it_, I shoot back at her.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey, dinner is served in the dining room." Gail appears from the kitchen.

"Thank you Mrs. Jones. Would you take Ted upstairs while we dine?"

"Certainly Mr. Grey. Come along my big boy, let's go have some playtime."

"I'll be up to nurse him after dinner Gail."

She nods and smiles taking Ted from Christian's arms and goes upstairs talking with Ted along the way about the fun they are going to have together.

"Bob, Carla, shall we?" Christian motions with his hand for Mom and Bob to proceed in front of us to the dining room.

They walk ahead of us and Christian guides me through the hall with his hand on my back.


	69. Chapter 69

Everything tastes divine. As usually Gail has outdone herself yet again. The conversation around the table abates and flows effortless between myself, Christian, my Mom and Bob. Mom tells us that Bob has accepted a new position with his company which will move them to Las Vegas before the end of the year. Bob has been trying to secure this position for a long time and is glad to see his hard work coming to fruition. I am happy because the move will bring them closer to Seattle. I know it will still be a distance away but not nearly has far as Savannah. Christian and Bob soon shift to all business talk. Mom and I take this as our cue to clear the dinner plates and bring in the cherry pie Gail baked for dessert.

"Your home is even more beautiful than I remember it being Ana." Mom says setting the plates in the dishwasher.

I sigh, thanking her and telling her how much I love it here. "It's like our own piece of heaven. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would live in a house like this."

"Christian works hard to make all of your dreams come true."

I blush taking in the veracity of her statement. "He is my dream come true Mom. He and Teddy both are."

"And you are his darling. I see it in the way he looks at you, the way he touches you. It's the same with the way he loves my grandson, pure unconditional love straight from his heart."

Christian and I are a very intimate couple to put it placidly. Having my Mother note the depth of our relationship is a bit gauche but I appreciate her wonder and truthful insight. I know it comes from a place of love and that she has only ever wanted what is best for her daughter.

"He regards you with such respect and admiration Ana. I know I'm going on and on like a silly old woman but it is a joy to see my baby girl so loved." She smiles and I swear I see tears welling up in her eyes before she masks them away and grabs the pie dish. "Enough of my sentiments, let's go have some pie shall we?"

I follow my Mom out of the kitchen and back into the dining room. Carla Adams has never been a very emotional woman but when it comes to me she has her moments. Being a mom myself now I understand more and more every day the flashes of emotion she has when she becomes wistful and thinks of me, her only child. Having Teddy has given me those same feelings. It is the true unrestricted, unreserved love of a mother.

Mom helps me bathe Ted and enjoys some pre-bedtime play before he is tucked in for the night. We sit on the floor talking while he jerks his arms and legs. He is working hard to make his muscles stronger so he can one day take off rolling, crawling and then walking for me to chase him. She watches with awe written across her face as I nurse him.

"Seeing you care for your own child Ana, it takes my breath away. I hope you understand. I know I'm being an emotional mess again."

"When I see Grace watching Christian with him she has the same look on her face as you do now. I think I will too one day when Ted has his own children." I tell her trying to reassure her that I get it. I understand her feelings.

A few minutes pass before Christian comes in the nursery. "There you two are." He smiles padding quietly across the floor as not to disturb the dozing Teddy in my arms. Kneeling down on the floor beside me he lifts the receiving blanket I have draped over myself and Ted just enough to reveal Ted's face. He strokes his baby cheek with the back of his knuckles whispering words of 'I love you' and 'goodnight sweet boy' to him as Teddy suckles. Soothing himself to sleep at my breast.

My eyes flick up to meet my mother's. She smiles reassuringly at me, telling me with her expression what she is not saying with words.

"Well, it's been a long day and I'm tired from traveling. If you two will excuse me I'm off to bed."

Christian turns his attention to her. "Good night Carla. Everything you and Bob need should be in your room. If you require anything else please let us know."

"We will. Good night Ana, Christian and my darling Ted."

With one last grin and a wink in my direction when Christian is not looking my Mom leaves the room.

"She loves you, you know." I tell Christian. "She can't stop talking about how much you love me, how she sees how much we are in love with each other."

"Is that what you two ladies have been talking about all evening?" He flashes me his brightest smile with a hint of mischievousness thrown in. He moves is fingers from Ted's cheek to mine, brushing them up and down my jawline. "I suppose for good measure I should make good on that love tonight."

"If you insist…" I look up at him coyly.

"Oh Mrs. Grey, I definitely insist. I always will."

He grazes his warm subtle lips across mine. Gliding his mouth back and forth, tasting and touching my lips with his mouth.

"Well then why don't you burp your son and tuck him into bed while I go shower."

Finished nursing Teddy moves his mouth away from my nipple slightly, his little mouth relaxing. Christian takes him from my arms and rises to sit in my rocking chair to burp him. Covering myself I walk over to murmur in his ear. Lightly running my tongue around the soft skin behind his ear before uttering very few words, "I'll be waiting Mr. Grey."


	70. Chapter 70

**I reach for a **fluffy cream colored towel and dry myself before brushing out my hair and applying lotion to my skin. I made sure to pay special attention while in the shower while shaving and now my legs, and other parts, are as smooth as silk. The idea of how pleased Christian will be plays in my mind, teasing my thoughts. Taking my brush from the vanity I comb out my long tresses and flip the dryer on, running the brush through my locks until they curl softly at the ends.

I open the closet door and contemplate what to wear to bed. I have a new La Perla baronessa baby doll lace set complete with a matching lace thong. I ordered it online before we left for our trip and he hasn't seen it yet. Pointing my toe I lift each leg in turn, gliding the navy lace panties up my body, then reach for the baby doll lingerie. The matching nightwear clings delicately to my breasts then parts revealing the skin on my belly. Standing in front of the mirror I adjust myself, approving of how the lace looks on me. The navy color faintly reveals my pale skin beneath it and my nipples are barely visible. Christian will definitely approve. Snatching my satin gray robe from the back of the bathroom door I slip it around me and step out into the bedroom. Where I am sure Christian is waiting for me.

Our bedroom is empty though to my surprise. I wonder if he had a hard time getting Teddy down. He seemed ready to sleep when I left them. Padding my feet softly on the dark wood floor I made my way down the hall to check on them. As I approach the nursery the deep melodic voice of my husband singing swirls around me. It pulls me, imperiously beckoning me to move closer so that I can behold the sight waiting for me.

Peeking around the corner of the door frame I peep through the crack in the nursery room door. My rocking chair is moving back and forth at an unhurried pace. A thousand stars twinkling in the night sky over the dark waters of the sound help the window in front of my chair to act as a frame for the picturesque scene before my eyes.

_Look at Teddy, he's so tired. He's been playing very hard. _

Christian's words float harmoniously as he sings our son to sleep. I find myself mesmerized, unable to move from this spot, steeling my feet to the floor.

_Little Teddy needs his sleep, but bears aren't good at counting sheep. So I'll tell you what to do, close your eyes and he will too. Don't you peek cause he'll see you. Close your eyes and he will too. _

His choice of song resonates in my heart whilst I listen to him crooning the tender words. When he finishes singing the lyrics he continues to hum the tune. Cradling Ted's tiny body against his strong chest lovingly, long after he has drifted off to dream in his father's arms, still he rocks him. After some minutes Christian stands and tiptoes over to the crib. Leaning over and laying our son in his bed. He murmurs words of affection and goodnight sleep tight just as he does every night. My ears perk up though, straining to catch a different phrase of words than his usual gentle bedtime whispers.

"I love you my son. I'm so sorry I was not able to love you the moment I found out you were in your Mommy's belly."

A sob clenches the back of my throat, threatening to escape from my lips. Quickly I place my hand over my mouth to keep it from absconding. Christian cups Ted's head, grazing his fingertips through his fine baby locks. He shifts his eyes towards the heavens.

"Please God, forgive me for the first thoughts I had of my son. I love him and his mother more than my own life."

I've never heard Christian speak to God before, only on our wedding day when he took me as his wife. His expression of his emotions immobilizes me momentarily. _Oh, Christian! Your son knows you love him. Your wife knows you only spoke those words out of fear. I was scared too baby. Your first thoughts have had no effect on the kind of father you are to our son._ Quickly I remember myself and turn to leave my station. Not wanting for Christian to think I was eavesdropping on his private thoughts. Careful to not allow my footsteps to make a sound I rush back to our room. The words I just heard Christian utter replaying in my mind.

How did I not know he had these feelings of guilt about his reaction when he first found out about Ted? What made these words surface tonight? Perhaps these deeply rooted unexpressed feelings have played a role in his determination for Ted to have me and want for nothing. Naturally I always traced his actions back to his childhood and his birthmother. I suppose it still does go back to that. His self-loathing caused by his birthmother's actions contributed to the way he reacted when I first announced I was pregnant. Knowing that he is carrying around this guilt and is aching to express his remorse and find self-reproach makes me determine to help him. I must help him let go of these negative sentiments.


	71. Chapter 71

Using a soft piece of tissue I stand at the bathroom mirror dabbing the tears falling from my eyes. The record repeats over and over in my mind. Christian's words echoing with no sign of cessation. Deep breath Anastasia…I draw my lungs full of air blowing it out slowly as I attempt to regain my composure. Christian will be coming in any minute and I need to regain control of my emotions before he does. My body shudders with my last few lingering sobs and the bathroom door opens revealing Christian.

His eyes swing to mine, which I am sure are faintly red from my crying, then to the tissue in my hand.

"Baby what's wrong?" His voice is laced with concern.

I turn my lips up into a smile, "Nothing, I'm just overwhelmed with the wedding, everything with work and I'm so happy to have my Mom here." It is not a total lie. These things have been on my mind but my distress at this moment is caused purely by Christian's admission to Ted.

He closes the space between us immediately and draws me to him with his arms.

"My sweet girl," he coos softly pressing his lips to my hair. His hands sketch circles on my back, gliding easily over my satin robe. His fingers sweep my hair to one side while his lips move down my neck, warming my skin with soft wet kisses. When his tongue acquires my earlobe, sucking and nipping it, a moan escapes my lips.

"I'm ready to make good on my promise from earlier." He growls almost inaudibly against my skin.

Stepping back and out of his arms I slide the gray satin belt through my fingers, untying it and allow it to fall to the floor. A sharp intake of air passes through Christian's lips as he feasts on the vision before him. Tingling skin tells me that my nipples have hardened instantly. His gray molten gaze does this to me.

"Ana…I…you are gorgeous…a vision." He reaches out placing his hands around my waist, allowing them to travel up until he cups both of my breasts in them. Subtly with strong caresses he worships them. Toying and teasing my nipples until they strain against the delicate deep navy lace. Finally they begin to travel again.

Giving adoration to my belly falls to his knees and begins to encircle my navel with his tongue. Precipitously he dips his tongue in my navel before moving lower. His thumbs hook on either side of my hips, sashaying the elusive La Perla panties down my thighs, past my knees, my shins and I grasp his shoulders stepping out, one foot at a time. I am only allowed to devote a trivial amount of time to this process. While my panties voyage south his tongue tours in that direction as well.

"Mrs. Grey," he voices shock and appreciation against my now bare sensitive skin. "Silk…perfect silk."

"Do you like it?"

"I love it, you know I love it." He allows his tongue to dart from between his lips. I watch as he hungrily licks his bottom lip before tantalizing me with it, brushing hungrily across my skin, diving into my core.

Reflexively one of my hands moves to his head and I grasp his locks trying to steady myself.

"I love you Christian. Oh…I love you." Trembling words escape through my staccato breaths. A fleeting notion passes through my mind before I can full grasp it but I know it has something to do with not being too loud, we have guests.

"Hmmmmm…" He hums against my body, causing pulses to reverberate through the apex of my thighs. Breaking away from his ministrations he brings his kisses back up my body. He spreads moisture with his kisses up my stomach, between my breasts, my neck and finally allowing me to taste myself in his mouth, lighting fire to my skin with his osculation's.

"Bed Mrs. Grey, but keep this on, I want to see you draped in lace while I make love to you."

Taking my hand in his he leads me to our bed. My body is engulfed with fervor, hot flames licking me from the inside with anticipation. I halt him beside the bed and decide to take control.

"Let me undress you." With nimble fingers I quickly undo the buttons of his white dress shirt and slide it open then down his shoulders. Revealing his muscular chest and taunt stomach, I do not deny my fingers and lips their urges to touch and taste him. His soft hair tickles my skin as I drink in his warmth and sensuality.

Taking a lesson from him I travel downward, unbuckling his belt I drop his gray dress pants, my favorite gray pants that hang from his hips, to the floor. With enthusiasm I jerk his boxer briefs from his body allowing him to spring free before me. Wild abandon engulfs me and I take him in my mouth. Sucking and tasting his velvety saltiness. I hallow my cheeks and suck hard. _ God I love the taste of him and the feel of him in my mouth. Freaking delicious! _My inner goddess exclaims. Taking one last long draw of his length in my mouth, reveling in what I do to him I stand abruptly and place my hands on his chest. His heart is beating wildly against my palms.

"So you want to see me draped in lace?" My voice is husky and I raise one eyebrow at him flirtatiously.

"Uh…huh…" Christian Grey speechless, there's a novel thing. _You sucked him fucking brainless!_ My inner goddess is thrilled.

"Then lay down Mr. Grey because I. Am. Going. To. Make. Love. To. You." I emphasize each word with a carnal erotic tone.

"Yes ma'am," he crawls on our bed, doing exactly as I told him to. Lifting my legs I straddle his hip and place my hands on either side of his head, allowing the sumptuous pillows to hold my body above his. The warmth between my thighs radiates between us and I lower myself, barely allowing our swollen skin to graze, moisture meeting moisture. We are so close, our bodies barely touching.

"I'm going to take you now." I whisper against his lips and as I lower my body over his I take his mouth in mine. Inch by delicious inch he fills me completely.

"Oh God…"

"Ana…you feel so amazing…so tight."

His hands move to grasp my breasts, our bodies connected at every facet. Feel my love for your Christian, sense the passion and ardor I have for you. And that is my last evanescent reflection before my body takes over and drives us both into sweet, sweet oblivion.


	72. Chapter 72

**Day one of Kate's **eventful wedding weekend, these are the first words that come to my mind as I stretch my body and welcome the new day. My muscles ache from the exertion of last night. _No pain, no gain_. My inner goddess looks on with approval. She is definitely not complaining about last night's deeds. _We gained three times in a row_, she reminds me. I concur with her, we certainly did.

"What are you smiling about Mrs. Grey?" A husky voice laced with sleep breaks my musings.

I jump having been caught pondering my naughty thoughts. I had no idea Christian was awake beside me.

"You…us…last night," I say turning my body to face his. We are both lying on our sides with sleepy grins painted across our faces.

"Mmmmm…" He leans in and kisses my lips innocently. "You were delicious. Ready for round two?"

"I'd say more like round four, wouldn't you Mr. Grey?" I giggle at him as his fingers find their way to my waist, trailing around my belly finding my tickle spot before journeying further down my body. I love playful Christian. Abruptly my giggles stop when his thumb finds its goal and begins rubbing circular motions in my most sensitive spot.

"Ah…" I moan losing the ability to grasp a coherent thought. My toes curl and my back arches off of the bed.

"Who's counting?" He counters back at me.

"Christian…I…I…"

"The way I see it we've got about thirty minutes before our son wakes up Mrs. Grey and I'm going to make sure you remember each one of these next thirty minutes."

He sinks two fingers inside of me. My body molds around them impeccably. I grasp his arms and lock my eyes on his, looking deep into his soul while he makes long exquisite, seamless strokes. In, out, in, out, the pattern is flawless. Then he curls his fingers flicking them madly until I erupt into a fit of convulsions and screams. My body shatters and splinters around him.

"That's it baby, squeeze my fingers. You feel so good Ana. Come for me."

His words, oh God, they urge my body on. I climb higher and higher as he rings every last ounce of pleasure from my body. He removes his fingers and abruptly spreads my legs with his. Holding himself at my entrance he brings his face down to mine.

"Time for round five," his voice commands me and I wrap my legs around his waist pulling him down to meet me.

"Good morning my sweet baby boy," Teddy is all smiles when I lean over his crib. "You certainly have been a quiet boy this morning. What are you so happy about?"

After rounds four and five and slipping on my sweat pants and tank top Teddy still hadn't made a peep over his monitor.

"You only woke mommy up for one feeding last night. Are you ready for breakfast Ted?"

Lifting him in my arms I change his diaper before padding quietly back to my room. I hear the shower running upon entering the bedroom and I know Christian is in there. I sit down on our bed cradling Teddy in my arms and lift my shirt, guiding him to nurse. He rests his petite hand against my breast while his brilliant gray eyes watch me with full alertness. Taking in everything they see. Every day seeing him grow and learn is a joy to me. I love how he is aware of me and I can't help but know that he knows who I am. That he knows I am his mommy and take care of him. He grunts and sighs quietly. His diminutive sounds tug at my heart strings.

I hear the bathroom door knob click and open. Christian steps out and smiles as he walks over to Ted and I.

"How is our Teddy this morning?" He asks sitting in front of me on our bed.

"He's a happy baby this morning daddy, and very hungry."

Christian takes a moment to touch Ted's hand before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Ted's eyes follow his every movement. He knows his daddy too and that his daddy takes care of him as well.

Mom is already downstairs enjoying the breakfast Mrs. Jones has laid out in the kitchen. Waffles, bacon, eggs, fruit salad, juice and coffee fill the bar buffet style. The sun streams through the windows and I am instantly glad for the perfect weather. Kate's wedding will be wonderful.

"Good morning Mrs. Grey, tea?" Mrs. Jones greets me as I enter the room.

"Yes, please. Thank you Gail."

"Please help yourself to breakfast Mrs. Grey. I've set everything out so that you all my take what you would like." She motions to the bar laden with food.

"Thank you Gail, everything looks delicious."

Taking a plate I turn to the kitchen table where my Mom is seated sipping a cup of coffee and enjoying waffles with fruit.

"Good morning Mom." I smile at her and begin placing eggs, bacon and fruit on my plate.

"Good morning Ana."

Mrs. Jones hands me my cup of English Breakfast Tea and I carry it with my plate to sit next to my Mom. I pull out the chair next to her and sit down. Unfolding my napkin I place it in my lap.

"Did you and Bob sleep well?" I ask before taking a bite of eggs.

"We did." She answers me. I can sense uncertainty in her voice. It's like she wants to tell me something but isn't sure how to.

"Did you find everything you needed?"

"We did..." Taking her napkin from her lap she wipes her mouth then begins wringing it in her hands. Much like my habit of twisting my hands when I am nervous, I muse to myself.

Spearing a strawberry with my fork I pop it in my mouth and wait for her to continue.

"Ana, I know this is your house and that you are married, and believe me honey I respect that."

Oh, no. Where is she going with this? My mind immediately springs back to last night and this morning. Oh, God. This is so humiliating. They heard us, I know it. Picking up my tea cup I take a sip and ready myself for what is coming.

"But when Bob and I were coming down for breakfast this morning we walked past your bedroom door and…and…we could hear you honey. That's why Bob is not down here right now. He took his breakfast and went back to our room. I wanted to talk with you in private."

My face feels like it is on fire and I know I must be turning fifty shades of red from embarrassment. I am not even sure what I should say right now.

"Ana I know you and Christian are a very passionate husband and wife, it is apparent to anyone who is around you two…"

_Oh take me now God. Can this get any worse? You should have thought about that before you vocalized rounds four and five._ My subconscious chastises me.

"When you have company though it is only polite to be considerate of them, certain things should be kept intimate between you too and your sex life is one of those things."

"Mom!"

Geez mother! It's not like we were in front of everyone. Not visually, but you were verbally, chides in my subconscious once again. I cut my eyes at her and she closes her mouth, whistling and shifting her gaze to the ceiling.

"Look honey I know this is embarrassing. Please just be considerate of your guests okay?"

I feel like a teenager again who has been caught making out on the couch in high school.

"Yes Ma'am." I mutter sullenly now picking at my food.

"Ana I wasn't trying to humiliate you."

I raise my eyes to meet hers and I know she is sincere. I cannot imagine how uncomfortable it must have made she and Bob to hear me in a fit of ecstasy. I was so careful to be quiet last night. I guess I lost sight of that this morning. I basically lost sight of everything this morning. Christian drove me out of my mind with orgasms. The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs hastens my mind back to the here and now.

"I understand Mom and I am so sorry, truly I am. I understand what you are saying."

She takes in a large breath of relief and grasps my hand in hers.

"Good…Let's finish our breakfast then. We have a big day ahead of us filled with rehearsals, dinners and then you have a bachelorette party to attend tonight."

At that moment Christian appears holding Teddy in his arms. He catches the uncomfortable expression which must be still lingering on my face.

"Are you okay baby?" He asks concerned.

"I'm fine." I smile back at him reassuringly and reach out to take Ted in my arms so he can make his plate.

He looks at my questioningly. I know he didn't believe a word I said but I cannot discuss this with him now. I will soon though. We need to be less vocal while we have guests. _It was you they heard, not him._ My subconscious reminds me. _Who cannot scream when Christian Grey is making you come?_ My inner goddess shouts at her in exasperation. I nod sagely, agreeing with the latter statement. This I know from first hand, multiple, experience.


	73. Chapter 73

*Thank you for all of your reviews. I'm glad you all enjoyed reading the last chapter as much as I did writing it.***

After finishing breakfast Mom takes Teddy telling me that she and Bob want some playtime with him. I am more than happy to allow them some grandson and Grammy bonding time. It gives me the chance to pack my bag for tonight along with making sure I have enough bottles pumped and prepared for Mom to use tonight. She begged me to leave Ted with her tonight. I know Grace wanted to keep him but Christian agrees that my parents don't get nearly as much time with him as his parents do. I feel bad cancelling on Grace but he assures me that she will understand completely.

I am placing my burgundy matron of honor dress in the garment bag lying across my bed when I feel Christian's arms around my waist. He nuzzles my neck, inhaling the scent of my hair, before he speaks.

"Ray just called baby. He's arriving with Jose's father and will be here in time for the rehearsal dinner at five this evening."

His words make me happy, my Daddy is coming. I can't wait to hug him and let him hold his grandson. I love my Mom so much but I am a Daddy's girl at heart.

"Mrs. Jones has said she can keep Teddy for us this afternoon while we are at the rehearsal and dinner until your Mom, Bob and Ray arrive back here tonight."

"Christian, I'd really like to take Ted with us if you don't mind. I'm going to be away from him tonight already. I have enough milk for Mom to use while I am gone but I'd like to save that for when I'm not able to be here to feed him."

Placing both of his hands on my arms he turns me to face him.

"Of course I don't mind baby. We will take him with us."

I search his eyes and wonder if he can see my hesitation. I'm so excited for tonight but the thought of leaving Ted again after having been gone last weekend is suddenly hitting me.

"Ana, do you want to come home tonight or are you planning to stay at the Fairmont with the other girls?"

I shift my eyes to the floor, staring at my shoes. I don't know what I want to do tonight. I'm trying to sort through my thoughts and emotions. Before I did want to go very badly but now that the time has come I'm second guessing myself. This is silly and absolutely absurd. It's not even just Ted I realize, I don't want to be away from Christian either. I'm not pathetic but I sure am acting like it. I'm so conflicted. I love him and I love our baby and I just want to be with them both. Kate is my best friend and I love her too, I want to be with her and the other girls. He places to fingers under my chin, lifting it and forcing me to look at his face.

"Ana I know what I said before about not wanting you to leave Ted but I don't want to be unfair to you…Ted will be just fine here with your Mom and I will be home after the bachelor party. Please baby, go and have fun with your friends."

Leaning down he kisses me gently, coaxing my lips, warming them and comforting me with his adoring kiss. I love this man, my beautiful husband, and my fifty. I allow my hands to encircle his waist and revel in feeling his strong taunt muscles through his white linen shirt. He smells and tastes divine. My favorite scents, body wash, fresh laundry and Christian. Will I ever tire of this? No. When I whimper against his mouth it urges him on and his hands begin to explore my body again. _Round six…round six…round six…_my inner goddess chants. In a moment I am apt to comply but then my Mother's words from this morning enter my mind. I break away and try to steady my breathing.

"Ready for round six?" He murmurs and I feel my legs turning to jello.

"No…we uh…if we do we have to be quiet."

Christian regards me with a puzzled expression. "Quiet?"

"At breakfast this morning my Mom told me that she and Bob…uh…heard me when they were on their way to breakfast this morning."

Realization washes over his face. "She heard you screaming?" The look of realization is quickly replaced with amusement. I nod and hang my head in humiliation. He is silent for what seems like forever. Moving my eyes to meet his I search for any sign of his thoughts. He is smirking!

"Well, the door was closed. It's my house and if I want to make my wife come I will."

"Christian do you not see how embarrassing this is for me?"

"Ana come on, your parents know we have sex. We are married and we have a child."

"But that is my MOTHER!" I almost shout back at him in frustration.

"And it was my mother who walked in after I tied you up with my tie the first time." He counters back at me causing me to blush instantly. _Oh!_ Yes, I remember that.

"It may have made them uncomfortable and I can understand that. We'll just have to work on keeping you a little quieter while they are here. But I am not going to stop pleasuring my wife Anastasia. Look at it this way, now you don't have to tell anyone about our great sex life. They have first-hand auditory proof of it themselves."

He shrugs as he says the last part and the gesture is full of arrogance. He knows he is good and he knows it is so hard for me not to scream.

"Maybe you can get creative with some of your toys to help teach me to tone down my screaming?" Take that Mr. Grey! I raise an eyebrow at him, egging him on a bit. Two can play at this game.

The shock on his face is evident as is the sudden bulge which has formed in his jeans. I allow my hands to wander a bit below his waist and brush my fingertips over the projecting denim.

"Just exactly what are you suggesting Mrs. Grey?" His voice is suddenly throaty. No doubt from the sudden turn of topic in our conversation.

"Hmmm…I thought you were the dominant Mr. Grey? I'll leave you to decide and figure that out."

He places one hand on my behind, thrusting me further so that I feel his erection digging into my belly through his jeans.

"Are you sure you won't come home tonight so we can put these new ideas to the test?"

"Hmmm…I'll have to see."


	74. Chapter 74

**The church is already** bustling with commotion when we arrive. I spot Kate and Elliot with Mrs. And Mr. Kavanaugh as well as Grace and Carrick. They are standing near the first few pews speaking with Ms. Karoline Smith, the wedding coordinator. Karoline has made all of Kate's wedding dreams come true. There could not have been a more magical combination than Kate's sleek, sophisticated ideas meshed with Karoline's creative abilities. Mia is standing nearby with the other two bridesmaids, Bridget and Cass. I can't seem to locate Ethan and the other two groomsmen though. I wonder if they are here or if they have yet to arrive.

"Ana, Bob and I will sit here in the back with Ted if you and Christian would like to join the others?" My Mom volunteers.

Christian hands her the baby carrier which holds a sleeping Ted. "Thank you Carla."

Mom and Bob take a seat in one of the last pews while Christian and I make our way to the front of the church. Mia sees us almost instantly and moves quickly towards us with a beaming smile on her face.

"Where is my beautiful baby nephew?" She asks grabbing us both in for a hug.

"He's with his Grammy and Bob. He'll probably sleep through the entire rehearsal."

"I don't know Ana. He might not get much peace to do that with the way things have been going. Kate is fussing with every little detail. She's definitely feeling the last minute wedding tension."

This doesn't sound good. Kate stressed on the day before her wedding is a sure fire recipe for disaster. Inwardly I pray that things will smooth out and come together flawlessly. I give Mia a reassuring smile and pat her hand.

"It's just nerves right now. Let me go talk to her."

The sound of the church doors opening draws my attention to the back of the room. Ethan and Elliot's friends Drew and Brandon enter the sanctuary in a trio. My eyes flick to the front of the room and I see Karoline mentally note that the entire wedding party has arrived. Christian takes my hand and we all walk to the front of the church to join the rest of the group.

Over the next hour Karoline Smith choreographs Kate and Elliot's wedding. We practice walking down the aisle, the speed we walk at, when we enter with the music and where we stand during the ceremony until the timing and appearance is impeccable. The bridal party will walk down to Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring and Kate will walk to the traditional Wedding March. The diligent perfection demanding by Ms. Smith does not allow me much time to speak with Kate. She seems calm though and in charge. I can't help but wonder if her early frustrations were caused by her mother. I remember from our conversation earlier in the week that she was glad to have to some time away from her mom.

Seeing her now standing with Elliot and the pastor loosely rehearsing their vows I can feel her happiness and for a moment I think I see a single tear run down her cheek. The expression on Elliot's face reflects Kate's. When all of this is over the most important things if your love for each other Kate. I will my thoughts to her, hoping she can feel that security. She and Elliot becoming man and wife is all that matters.

When the last practice has been run through and Ms. Smith is content we all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Now we can relax and enjoy ourselves before the big day tomorrow.

"It's going to be beautiful Kate." I tell her grabbing her in my arms. I can't help but steal her away for a moment.

She gladly breaks away from the rest of the bridal party to sneak a moment for just the two of us to talk.

"Everything looked okay? It sounded okay?" She asks me nervously.

"Perfect!" I tell her and hug her again.

"I thought I was going to lose my mind Ana. My mom was trying to change the music for the bridal party at the last minute." So that's why all she was stressed out.

"It's your day Kate, don't let anyone steer you away from what you want."

She shakes her head in firm determination. "Yes it is and I cannot wait to be Mrs. Elliot Grey tomorrow."

"Shall we go eat future sister?"

"Yes we shall and I want to kiss my little nephew. I haven't been able to see him all day." We link arms and head to the back pews where my mom sits holding a now awake Ted in her arms. Christian smiles when he sees us walking together and winks at me before continuing his conversation with Carrick and Elliot.

**Grace has gone out** of her way to make the rehearsal dinner beyond perfection. The dining room is adorned with deep red and white roses. Every single one is perfect and they are all arranged floating in glass bowls dotted with floating white candles. The twinkling light from the flames appear to make the flowers almost shimmer. Christian pulls my chair out for me to sit then sits beside me rubbing Ted's back all the while. Teddy is tucked snuggle against his daddy's chest in my wrap.

"Christian Grey wearing a baby, who would have thought?" Elliot teases his brother gently as he approaches to visit with his nephew.

"Watch what you say Elliot, this might be you one day soon." Christian fires back at him mockingly.

I watch Kate go pale at the prospect and almost snicker to myself. Elliot takes it all in stride though matching Christian's wit with his own.

"Not for a while yet Pops, I've still get plenty of fire left in me. I plan on staying baby free for a while and enjoying some one on one time with my soon-to-be wife."

And now Kate's blushing red. I shake my head at Elliot's declaration. If he only knew, nature gets its own way on its own time. We can plan all we like but sometimes things don't always go as planned. The rest of the family takes their seats and Gretchen begins serving crab cakes with an avocado salad on the side. My mom sits on my right side, with Bob next to her. Mr. and Mrs. Kavanaugh are next to my Bob and he is involved in a conversation with them. Bridgette, Cass seem to be chatting away with Mia and Ethan while Carrick, Elliot and Christian talk baseball, or course. Grace is telling Kate and I how lovely the ceremony is going to be tomorrow and how happy she is with Ms. Smith's smooth efficient ability to organize the ceremony. The warmth of the family conversations saturates the room. I enjoy how easily everyone melds together. It is an effortless merging of three families who would have never met had the persistent Katherine Kavanaugh not insisted on an interview with Seattle's most eligible bachelor and then caught the flu sending me to the interview in her place.


	75. Chapter 75

**After this we are on to the bachlorette party!**

Once we are finished with dinner everyone retires to the family room. Kate's rehearsal dinner is comfortable and casual much like mine was. Spending this close family time together before the big day was an enjoyable respite for Christian and I from the pre-wedding hustle and bustle. Kate and Elliot seem to be feeling the same way. Watching them beam at each other and kiss chastely when no one is watching illustrates their profound love for one another.

"Where are you two lovebirds headed to on your honeymoon?" Mia asks pouring a cup of coffee and handing it to Ethan who is sitting next to her on the couch.

Elliot smirks knowingly and winks at Kate before speaking. "Actually my bride-to-be doesn't know yet but I'm ready to let the cat out of the bag and surprise her. I am taking her back to Barbados where we first fell in love over a year ago."

"Elliot!" Kate squeals his name before entangling her fingers in his hair and kissing him unabashedly in front of everyone.

When they break their kiss I swear I see a slight flush creep across Elliot's cheeks. "I knew you'd love it baby." He says running his fingers down her jawline.

Carrick clears his throat. "Well if you two could just hold those thoughts until the wedding night I think we'd all be a little grateful."

The room erupts in pleasant mirth as we all enjoy a bit of a joke at the expense of the soon to be newlyweds. Elliot presses his lips to the corner of Kate's cheek and whispers something in her ear warming her face again.

"Have you and Mia chosen a date for your wedding yet?" My Mother asks Ethan mercifully turning the conversation away from the bride and groom.

"Mia wants a Christmas wedding with all the 'magic of winter' says." Ethan says squeezing her hand.

"By December Grace and I will have all of our children married off and out of the house." Carrick says.

"It will definitely be quiet around here." Grace answers to her husband's comment. "But not for long I hope. Our Teddy is going to keep us busy and hopefully we will be able to fill our home with the laughter and pitter patter of more grandchildren before we know it."

Her eyes drift to Christian and I, focusing on her son as he tenderly rubs her grandson's back while he sleeps.

"Give us some time Mom and I promise we'll give you a few more to liven your house up." Christian adds in to the conversation.

My heart and stomach both seem to hitch in my throat at the same time. We've talked about more children privately but hearing Christian say it out loud here to our families spreads a euphoric feeling through my veins. As if he can tell we are talking about him and planning siblings for him Ted chooses that moment to voice his opinion, breaking the silence with a cry.

"It seems our Ted may have an opinion about that which he would like to express." Christian chuckles.

"Don't you worry Ted when Mommy and Daddy have another baby Auntie Kate will continue to spoil you rotten."

"Auntie Mia too," Mia chimes in and I can't help but giggle. Has one little boy ever been surrounded by so much love?

Teddy continues his grunts and protests. I reach into his bag beside me taking out my Bebe au Lait and a burp cloth.

"That or he's hungry Daddy. Here give him to me."

I slip the nursing cover over my head while Christian takes Ted out of the wrap handing him to me. My mother has a look of dismay spread across her face.

"Ana," she says and I know she is trying to question me.

Thankfully Grace interjects with her peaceable manner. "Carla we are all supportive of Ana and Christian's choices for Ted."

I smile and mouth the words 'thank you' to Grace. Her support as a mother-in-law and pediatrician have made being a new mom easier than I could have ever imagined. She nods imperceptibly and returns my smile reassuring me to go ahead and nurse Ted here. The conversations around us continue with every one talking about the two upcoming weddings. This allows Christian and I a moment to adjust Ted. He takes the burp cloth from me and lays it over his shoulder.

"I'll burp him after you feed him baby."

Cradling Ted in his arms against my body he shields him from view by draping the Bebe au Lait over him while I undo the first few buttons of my khaki poplin shirtdress. Teddy continues his tiny squeaks of protest until he finds my nipple and begins to suckle. I move my arms to support him.

"I've got him now." I tell him.

Christian removes his hold on Ted and sits back propping his arm behind me on the loveseat. I lean back slightly nestling myself in the niche of his side while our son nurses.

"Are you comfortable baby? Do you need anything?"

"No, we're good." He presses a kiss to my temple and I look down the top of my cover to see Ted eating contentedly.

The benevolent gazes from my Mother and Grace do not go unnoticed by me. I have seen Grace observe our interactions with our son with the same expression of awe and sanction before. These hours since my Mother's arrival though have been some of her first chances to observe how Christian and I care for our child together. I cannot help but feel her approval radiating towards me and for that I am glad. I want her to see not only what a wonderful husband Christian is to me but what a devoted father he is to Ted as well.

"Yes, a houseful of darling little Grey grandbabies that is most definitely what I want." Grace declares her voice full of sentiment.


	76. Chapter 76

** Taylor drives my Mother** and Bob back to the house with Ted later in the evening so that the bachelor and bachelorette festivities can get underway. She assures me she will call if she needs anything. I know my Ted is in good hands with his Grammy but I'm going to miss him immensely. After they leave we girls head upstairs to change into our party clothes. Kate still has no idea what our plans for her are which is amazing considering Mia is not the best at keeping secrets.

"Zip me up Ana?" Mia asks sliding her arms into her seamed eggplant purple dress which hugs her curves, shows her beautiful arms and stops just above her knee. She turns around in front of me and I pull up her zipper as she steps into her black spiked heels.

"You are going to turn heads in this girl. Has Ethan seen this dress on you?"

"You bet he has," she giggles and winks conspiratorially at me.

"Gag me, spare me any dirty details about my brother." Kate jokes make a gesture with her index finger and mouth.

Kate is wearing an emerald green seemed waist party dress which also shows her arms and hits her just above the knee. The green makes her strawberry blonde hair standout and frames her perfect figure snuggly before flowing elegantly at the bottom.

"Kate that dress is sensational on you," Cass admires her cousin's dress. Both of Kate's cousins are wearing tank maxi dresses. Cass's is bright red and Bridget's is a navy and black graffiti print.

I fasten my nude colored strappy Christian Louboutins and stand in front of the mirror to smooth out the lace panel on the front of my princess cut bodice. The middle of the dress is dominated by a black lace panel with nude colored underlay. The sides of the dress are black and hug my curves. The white black satin straps form an oval in the back exposing my skin. I'm applying my lip gloss when I hear Mia whistle.

"Forget Ethan seeing me in this. Has Christian seen you in that?"

"He picked it and the black lacey underthings I am wearing too." I gloat feeling brave.

"Damn girl, you look H-O-T." Bridget exclaims to me.

"We all look hot," Mia confirm, "and the limo should be here so let's head down stairs."

Ethan, Elliot and Christian are standing at the bottom of the stairs when we emerge from dressing. All three pairs of eyes turn and gape at the same time. Elliot and Ethan both whistle then whoop and holler about 'the hotties dressed to party.' I roll my eyes and giggle at their overzealous expressions.

Christian remains quiet and reaches for my hand the second I step from the last stair. He pulls my body flush against his and nuzzles my hair which I elected to leave down and curl.

"Mrs. Grey you look good enough to eat." He growls in my ear.

"So do you," I murmur back to him, running my fingers across the sides of his navy blazer which he is wearing over a light blue button down shirt. I allow my fingertips to graze the belt and discreetly they roam between us touching his firmness masked by the dark denim of his jeans.

"Excited Mr. Grey?" My voice whispers.

"You have no idea. You definitely need to come home tonight so I can take this off of you."

His hand grazes over the exposed skin on my back causing an undulation of goose bumps to form across my skin.

"I can hear you two," Kate chimes in.

Of course Elliot is right behind her with his own commentary. "Bro we can wait if you and the Mrs. need to go up to your room for five minutes." He nods in the direction of the third floor.

"It might take you five minutes Elliot but if I took her upstairs you'd be waiting down here all night." Christian fires back him before pressing a firm kiss to my mouth and running his tongue across my lips. I think I see Bridget and Cass almost faint dead on the floor. Admire all you want girls, this man is mine.

Two sleek black limousines arrive at exactly nine o'clock. Begrudgingly Christian kisses me goodbye and holds the door open while I get in. I don't know if I'm going to be able to stay away from him tonight. Nonetheless I have packed my bag along with the other girls' bags into the trunk of the limo.

In no time we are pulling up to the Rock Box, our first karaoke bar of the night. Mia turns to Kate to explain our plans for the night.

"We are hitting as many karaoke bars as we can before we all crash. The rules, you have to sing one song at each bar and drink at least one cocktail, but let's get real ladies, we are gonna drink way more than one cocktail at each bar right?"

"You ladies are awesome! Let's go!" Kate grabs my hand and pulls me into the bar with the other girls following behind.

We are on our fourth stop at The Crescent Lounge and Kate is up on stage with Cass belting out about people being fireworks and showing her what they're worth. She is doing pretty darn good and has no nerves, totally fearless. Of course I think the five strawberry mojitos she has downed so far are giving her liquid courage. She loves being the center of attention though and the crowd loves her back.

I'm sitting at the table with Bridget and Mia nursing my second cosmopolitan of the night slowly. I've always been a bit of a lightweight and I don't want to regret tonight tomorrow when I have to be fresh for the wedding.

"You gonna sing Ana?" Mia asks taking a gulp of her margarita and licking the salt of the rim of her glass.

"Have you heard me sing?" I ask her trying to hide the mortification in my voice.

"Ana it's a karaoke bar, let lose girl! Let's have some fun!"

"I am letting lose and having fun but I am not into public humiliation." I shake my head firm on my decision.

"We'll see about that."

Oh, I do not like the sound of that.

After finishing her debut at this bar Kate swigs down a huge glass of water and declares it is time to move on to our next location, which she announces must be Keys on Main.

The lights are bright and a man is on stage giving a very sketchy rendition of something that I cannot even recognize when we enter. Mia and Bridget disappear telling us that they are taking a trip to 'the little girls room,' Mia is a nut when she's had a few drinks in her. Kate, Cass and I find a table and order our next round of drinks. This time I go for a sour apple martini. Kate and Cass decree that what I've ordered sounds delicious and they will have one too.

"Three sour apple martinis all around!" Cass almost slurs out exuberantly.

At this point it is almost two in the morning and I think we are hitting the end of our rope.

The waitress returns with our drinks a few minutes later just as Mia and Bridget appear. Bridget takes a seat next to Kate and winks at her then at Cass. My stomach drops to the floor as Mia reaches for my hand.

"Take a big sip Ana and let's go!"

"What! Let's go where?"

"We're on next!"

Kate is laughing hysterically while Bridgett and Cass chant, "Ana! Ana! Ana!"

I think I am going to hurl or hit the floor. One of the other is definitely going to happen; I'm just not sure which is coming first.

_Go for it! _My inner goddess screams._ You only live once._

I pick up my martini and take a rather large gulp of it before Mia pulls me to my feet and heads in the direction of the stage. The first notes of Walkaway by Kelly Clarkson begin to play. Am I really doing this? _You bet you are!_ My inner goddess chimes in again.

Mia starts singing and I let my body go, feeling the beat of the base I move to the music. Faintly over the screaming crowd I can hear Kate and the other two girls yelling my name, encouraging Mia and I to let loose and go with it. My fingers tighten around the microphone and when the chorus comes up I join in with Mia. I'm sure it's the drinks but I think we sound pretty good and the other people in the bar, who have probably had too much to drink as well, are enjoying the show. Mia and I are gyrating our hips as we dance, engulfing ourselves completely in the experience. The hype of adrenaline is coursing through my blood and I am enjoying the astronomical thrill of the moment.

When the song comes to an end we both take exaggerated bows before exiting the stage.

"I cannot believe you did that Ana!" Kate screams over the multitude of voices. "How did it feel?"

"Amazing!" I scream back at her. I, Anastasia Grey have never in my life let go like that and it was awesome.

I pick up a glass of water and drink thirstily, trying to moisten my parched throat. Kate hands Mia a glass of water which she accepts eagerly.

After taking a few sips of water Mia sets the glass down on the table and gestures with her head over to a back corner on the right side of the room.

"Has anyone else noticed the hot guys at the table over there? They have been watching us since we got here."

Kate turns around to inspect the table which Mia is speaking of. I slap her on the arm. "Kate don't stare." I admonish her.

"Hey, if they're staring then so am I. That one is pretty damn fine."

I cannot help my curiosity. I turn subtly to see these 'fine men' which Mia and Kate are watching and this time I almost do fall into the floor. Michael Williamson is sitting in the corner booth with his eyes locked on to me.


	77. Chapter 77

Quickly I jerk my gaze away from his and cast my eyes down to my half full martini. My hands begin to shake. Shit, why is he here? Has he been at the other bars too? Is he following me? No, this is just a coincidence. Surely I would have noticed if he had been at the other bars. He is here though and he just no doubt enjoyed watching me shake my groove thing up on stage while Mia and I sang.

"Ana, are you okay?" Kate grasps my hand with hers. "My God Ana, your hands are shaking."

"Kate that man in the corner, the 'pretty damn fine' one that is watching me…" my voice is hushed so that only Kate can hear me.

"Yeah…"

"That's the man from work, Michael Williamson."

Realization hits her instantly. "The one who was stalking you and you had taken off of the advertising account?"

"The one and only," I answer.

"That little fucker," she hisses. "Do you think he's been following us tonight?"

"I don't know I haven't seen him at any of the other bars we've been too. I need to call Christian." I reach for my purse to grab my cell phone.

"No. Don't call Christian, he'll make you leave and it'll ruin our night out. You're not here alone Ana, nothing is going to happen."

I chew on my bottom lip pensively. Deep down I know I should call Christian. He'll be angry if I don't and he would have every right to be. He's only ever concerned about my safety. I don't want to betray his trust.

"I've got to Kate. I'm sorry. I don't want to keep anything from him. I promise I won't leave. He'll probably send Taylor or have Sawyer come." Sawyer has been overseeing security at Grey's Publishing for about six months now but I know he would come if Christian called him. Taking my cell phone from my purse I excuse myself from the table and head in the direction of the restrooms to make the call. I can still see the table from where I'm standing and Kate is watching me like a hawk. I see her talking to Mia and I'm sure she's filling her in on my freaky stalker situation.

With shaky fingers I dial Christian's number and he answers on the first ring.

"Ana," he purrs my name. I can hear loud music in the background and Elliot shouting something obscene. Strip club, yep that's my first thought but it's only a fleeting thought.

"Christian…Can you hear me?" My words are unstable.

"Ana, what's wrong? Are you okay?" His tone immediately changes.

"I'm okay Christian. We are at Keys on Main and he's here."

"He? He who baby?" His voice is commanding.

"Mr. Williamson."

"Fuck! You stay with the girls. I'm on my way right now."

"Christian please I don't want to ruin your night. I just wanted to let you know. Please trust me and my judgment Christian. Let me take care of this." I beg him when all I really want is to bury my face in his chest and feel his strong arms surround me.

"Anastasia that man is unstable and he knows you filed a complaint against him."

My gut tells me Christian is right, I know he is. But I don't want to ruin Kate's or Elliot's nights.

"Can you send Taylor or Sawyer to keep an eye on things so that you can stay with the guys?"

I hear him sigh and I know he is running his hand through his hair in frustration. "This is our last bar. After Kate sings we are heading to the hotel for the night."

He is silent and I know he is brooding over the situation and my requests.

"You are to call me the moment you are in the limo do you understand?"

"Yes, I love you so much Christian."

"I mean it Ana, the minute." He demands then sighs again before telling me he loves me.

I end the call and go back the table.

Mia is the first to speak up when I return, chastising me for not telling her about my nut case stalker from work. I encourage the girls to finish their drinks and tell them about my conversation with Christian. Kate listens carefully and I can tell she is glad that he relinquished some trust to me. He's come so far but I cannot blame him for wanting me safe.

We start discussing what song Kate should pick for her last performance and I can feel Michael's eyes on me the entire time. I keep my focus on my girlfriends though, refusing to look in his direction lest he get the wrong idea and think I actually care he exists. Suddenly Mia grips my arm tightly and swallows hard.

"Ana! That creep is coming over." She whispers frantically.

"This one is mine." Kate declares rolling her shoulders and straightening her body.

"Hello ladies, my friends and I saw you watching us from across the bar. We couldn't help but notice how sexy you ladies looked, especially when dancing and singing on stage." His voice is smooth like caramel and I cringe at how easily the bullshit rolls off of his tongue.

Kate flips her long hair over her shoulder and fixes her steeled gaze on Mr. Williamson.

"Actually I think it was the other way around Mr. Williamson. We saw you and your friends ogling us from across the bar."

He chuckles genially before speaking again. "So Mrs. Grey has told you about me then, Ms…" He trails off.

"Kate, her bestfriend, soon to be sister-in-law. And you can cut the pleasantries, I know all about you and how you've been stalking Ana."

"I do believe you have a warped idea of what Ana and I's relationship has been like."

I almost throw up in my mouth at his words. This man really is delusional. Did Christian call Sawyer or Taylor? I hear Kate's chair slide across the floor as she stands toe to toe with Mr. Williamson.

"No jackass it is you who has the warped ideas. You have no relationship with Ana. You are disgusting, stalking a married woman who also happens to be a new mother. And from what I understand you have a wife as well. How would she like to find out about your crazy ass obsession with the CEO of a company you used to have rep. position with? You'd do well to walk away right now before we file a restraining order. Do I make myself clear?"

I keep my eyes trained on Mia who is sitting in front of me gaping at the situation unfolding in front of her. Suddenly I feel what I assume is Michael's hand on my back and jerk away from his touch.

"Ana, you need to explain…UH!" He grunts and I hear him crumble to the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kate's knee make perfect contact with his groin.

"Touch her again bastard! Security!" She screams across the room. In no time two bouncers appear out of nowhere.

Kate tells them that Mr. Williamson attempted to touch me inappropriately, they question me and I vouch the truth of the matter. I know it is not a complete truth but I just want him away from me. Of course Mr. Williamson protests every step of the way as the bouncers escort him from the bar. Incidentally the men he was sitting with stay and let him be thrown out on his own.

"I can't believe you did that!" Cass gasps from shock.

"No one messes with Kate and Ana." Kate declares wrapping an arm around me. "That actually felt pretty good, it's been awhile since badass Kate has come out to play."

I can't help but laugh and a surge of relief washes through me.

"What do you say we call it a night ladies and head to the Fairmont?" Mia suggests.

"I second that idea; I don't think I could find my way out of here if I have another drop of alcohol in me." Bridgett agrees.

We are walking towards the exit when we meet Sawyer and Christian.

"I told him not to come." I say out loud to myself more than to anyone else.

"He loves you Ana, of course he came." Mia squeezes my hand before Christian reaches me and wraps me in his arms. I allow myself to melt into his embrace. He runs his hands up and down my arms and across my back.

"Are you okay baby? What happened?"

"He's singing soprano right about now." Kate declares smiling.

"Kate kneed him in the groin. He is so delusional Christian. He acted like we had a relationship." I tell him with my face pressed against his chest. His arms squeeze me tightly.

"We are heading in for the night Christian." Mia interjects. "Can Sawyer accompany us to the Fairmont? I think we'd all feel safer having him with us."

I'm thankful for Mia's words and suggestion. I know it will put Christian at ease.

"We can go home Ana…"

"No, I'm fine Christian. I want to stay with the girls. Please let Sawyer accompany us to the hotel. Then tomorrow we will all be together for the wedding." I look into his eyes and plead with him wordlessly.

He grasps my face between his hands kisses me. "I need you safe Ana." He whispers against my lips. His fear is palpable and real.

"Ma'am?" An unfamiliar voice interrupts.

"Yes?" Kate asks turning to one of the two bouncers who had escorted Mr. Williamson out of the bar.

"I thought I would let you ladies know that the gentleman who was harassing you became violent with us in the parking lot. The police have taken him in for the night for public intoxication among several other things."

"Thank you sir," She says.

He nods in acknowledgement and bids us all a good night. I draw in a deep breath and blow it out slowly. Christian returns his gaze to me, never letting go of his hold on my face.

"Straight to the Fairmont, nowhere else."

I nod and cup his hands with my own. He turns to Kate and tells her that he is going to speak with Elliot about having Sawyer orchestrate a few men to provide security at the wedding tomorrow. Surprisingly Kate agrees with him. I think tonight may have shaken her too.

Christian and Sawyer follow us out to the waiting limo. After speaking with Christian for a few minutes, no doubt receiving his instructions Sawyer climbs into the front passenger seat. Kate and the other girls climb in as well giving me a moment with Christian.

"Call me when you get home Christian, let me know how our Ted is doing."

"I will kiss him for you Ana. You have a wonderful time with the ladies. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow."

"I'll be at the church at eleven."

The warm early morning air envelopes us and comforts me just as his arms do. I inhale his scent and know that I am sheltered by his love.

"I'll be there at ten waiting for you." He says running his thumbs over my cheekbones and kissing the tip of my nose before opening the back door for me.

"In you go Mrs. Grey." I kiss him once more before joining the other girls. I watch Christian get into his black R8 and drive away.

"He loves you more than his own life Ana." Mia tells me.

"I know. I love him the same."


	78. Chapter 78

**It is after three** in the morning when we finally check into our suite at the Fairmont Olympic and we are all exhausted. We all take turns in the bathroom, removing make up, brushing our teeth and getting ready for bed. Kate, Bridget and Cass opt for the room with two queen beds which is decorated in creams and a beautiful sage green. Mia and I pick the other room with the oversized king bed. Mia is in love with the scarlet, gold and cream color scheme in the room and declares that she definitely wants her bedroom to look like this when she and Ethan buy a house. It is the first time I have heard her talk about she and Ethan's future plans.

We are laying the bed after the other girls are sound asleep and I take the opportunity to ask her about where they plan on living after the wedding.

"Have you and Ethan done any house shopping?"

"Not yet, we plan to go next week actually once Kate and Elliot's wedding is over. I've told Ethan I don't want to live in his apartment after we are married and he agrees. He wants to find a home for us and set it up before we are married. I won't move in until after the wedding though."

I nod in understanding. Mia immediately continues on. "Not that there's anything wrong with living together first, I know that's what you and Christian did but it's just not for me. I want to stay with Mom and Dad before I get married."

"Mia, I think what you want to do is wonderful. I couldn't be happier for you and Ethan."

She returns my smile but I can see reflective thoughts behind her eyes. I know she is contemplating telling me something so I just give her the time she needs to work through it and decide whether she wants to tell me or not. I stifle a yawn, feeling my eyelids growing heavy.

"Ana, I've never told anyone. I've never felt close enough to any of my friends to tell them really, but I…"

She falters for words and I lay silently urging her to feel comfortable talking with me.

"Marrying Ethan means so much to me. I've never had a serious boyfriend before him. I mean sure I've dated an all but I've never been serious with anyone else."

Is Mia telling me what I think she's telling me?

"I'm so nervous Ana. I feel so silly, we're the same age basically and I should know a little more than I do right? I've never been with anyone Ana and Ethan and I are saving being together for our wedding night. It makes me so nervous though. You've known Ethan for a long time and I know he's experienced and well as you can guess I'm just not."

Should I disclose to Mia that I was much the same way when I met her brother? Would it be too weird for me to do so? I mean after all she is Christian's sister, would it freak her out to hear me talk about such things? I decide to take the plunge and talk with her. She's opening herself up to me and I should do the same. We are sisters now and friends.

"Mia…Ethan loves you. It's not unheard of that your husband be your first."

She half chuckles before speaking again, "it seems to be unheard of these days."

"My husband was my first."

"He was?"

I nod my head at her again. "Knowing that Christian, my partner for life, is the only one who has ever known me intimately is a very private and beautiful thing for us. It will be the same way for you and Ethan."

I would have thought that a conversation like this would be awkward and embarrassing but surprisingly I find talking with Mia easy.

"He's always told me he loves me and that I am worth waiting for. Waiting for marriage has always been important to me."

"And the fact that he understands and supports your choice shows his reverence for you Mia."

"I guess I'm just nervous…but excited…really excited."

"Don't be nervous. Ethan loves you and that's all that matters."

This time it is Mia that yawns. "I think I'm about to fall asleep." She says covering her mouth with her hand.

"Me too," I agree.

"Thank you Ana for just listening to me ramble. Being able to talk about this felt good. I didn't want to tell my friends and heaven knows I didn't want to talk to my mom about it."

I laugh at her. "Yeah, talking with your mom about sex isn't at the top of the 'fun things to do list' I happen to know this from first hand recent experience…my Mom heard Christian and I the other morning."

This time her hand flies to her mouth in shock. "Oh my God I would die!"

"Believe me I wanted to." My face flushes again just remembering the conversation in the kitchen.

"Well, let's get some sleep." I tell her turning over and flipping off my bedside lamp. Snuggling down under the covers I hear Mia tell me goodnight and I reciprocate telling her good night as well, even though it is early in the morning. After the tumultuous last part of our night out I feel peaceful and calm. When I drift off to sleep and my last thought is how grateful I am for my friends and my soon to be two sisters. I have gone from being an only child to having the two best sisters I could have ever asked for.

With six hours of sleep under our belts we are up and having breakfast while the team of hairstylist Mrs. Kavanaugh ordered for us primp, tease, curl and comb our hair. The large dining room table seats all of us comfortable and we are nibbling on fruits, nuts, yogurt and drinking coffee and tea. Kate is barely touching her food and I know why, nerves. I remember them all too well from my wedding day. The other girls and I eat up though; we are ravenous from our night before. We consumed a good bit of alcohol and not much food. Miraculously though none of us are hung over. Thank heavens for small miracles.

The beauticians decide on up do's for all of us. Curling our hair into tight ringlets they pin the snug curls on our heads allowing them to cascade like waterfalls down our backs. The pins in Kate's hair are studded with diamonds that glisten when they catch the light.

"I'm glad I listened and went with a button up top before the wedding." Bridget laughs holding up a hand mirror and inspecting her beautiful auburn hair.

"Yes, there is no way I would get a shirt over my without messing it up." Kate agrees.

Mia and Cass have shorter hair so their curls have only been pulled back half way. The dark coiled tresses hanging around Mia's face frame her creamy complexion perfectly.

"The groomsman you walk with is going to be head over heels for you Mia." I tell her winking one eye in her direction.

"I happen to know that yours will be in love with you." She winks back.

"Maybe we'll find love in our groomsmen too Bridget." Cass says nudging her sister in the side.

"You just might, Elliot's friends are pretty hot." Mia smiles at them.

"Make me beautiful!" Bridget commands light heartedly. "I may meet the man of my dreams today!"


	79. Chapter 79

**"Going to the chapel** and we're gonna get married," Mia, Cass, Bridget, Kate and I are singing while we snap our fingers in time with the music during the limo ride to the Seattle First United Methodist Church. Huge face splitting grins are plastered across our faces. The jovial mood is infectious and I can't help but be caught up in the bliss of celebrating Kate's wedding day. Thank goodness the driver cannot hear the five giggling women in the backseat of his car.

"Gee, I really love you and we're gonna get married. Going to the chapel of love."

The driver pulls up in front of the church and the sight of my beautiful husband accompanied by Taylor instantly catches my eye. His face illuminates the moment he sees our car pulling up. The bright sun shining high in the sky emphasizes the copper highlights in his hair. We are still in the midst of singing our song which we have put on repeat and have now sang over five times during our ride to the church.

"We'll love until the end of time and we'll never be lonely anymore!" We continue to sing in unison as Christian and Taylor come down the steps and open our doors for us.

"I do believe we are lucky men today Taylor, opening a car to find five beautiful women inside."

Christian smirks, raising one eyebrow as he takes my hand to help me out. Taylor agrees with him while helping Cass out.

"Indeed we are sir, very lucky. Elliot is in the sanctuary so we are to escort you ladies to the bridal room." Taylor directs us to a side door which we can enter to keep the groom from seeing the bride before the wedding.

Kate's mother, Grace and my Mom are in the bridal room waiting for us when we enter.

"And here are our five beautiful girls right now!" Grace exclaims upon seeing us.

"All they need now are their dresses." My Mom adds. Our dresses are hanging in in the corner of the room. Pressed and ready for us to slip in to.

Of course my little Ted is there too being held in Mrs. Kavanagh's arms. He is smiling and cooing at the three ladies holding him but the moment he hears my voice he turns his little head searching for his mommy. He lets out a squeal and begins jerking his arms and legs wildly.

"Is that your Mommy Teddy?" Kate's Mom croons to him standing to place him in my arms.

I take my soft sweet baby and hold him close to me. "I missed you so much sweet boy. Were you a good baby for Grammy and Daddy?"

"I think he knew the exact minute Christian got home last night. I heard him fussing over the monitor and I wasn't with him for two minutes before Christian came in the room. He spent the rest of the night with Daddy after that." My Mom tells me.

Looking up at Christian I see him smiling. "You slept with Daddy didn't you Ted?" The image of my husband and son curled up together in our bed sleeping plays in my mind and washes a tender feeling over my being. Grace's transparent emotions match my own. She will always show benevolence regarding her son loving his own son.

"Well, it's time to get you ladies dressed. Christian will you come with me and we'll begin welcoming guests." Grace stands taking and takes her son's offered arm.

Christian leans down and kisses my cheek. "I'll see you at the back of the church baby."

After nursing Ted I give him to my Mom then take my turn to slip into my matron of honor dress. Our burgundy satin dresses are of a mermaid style with a single deep cream colored ribbon tied around the waist. The bodice of the dress is sleeveless and gathered at the breasts. The other girls are finishing with zipping up and putting their shoes on while I aide Mrs. Kavanagh in helping Kate to step into her bridal gown.

Kate steps in front of the full length mirror to gaze at her reflection. Tears instantly spring to her eyes. I hand her a fine linen handkerchief.

"Don't start Kate because you'll get me going." I tell her trying to blink back tears of my own.

The white silk, lace and diamonds gleams and sparkles with more luminosity than they did the last time she wore the gown during her final fitting. Her Mother arranges her floor length veil which is nestled amongst her lustrous strawberry blonde curls. Kate smooth's her hands down her dress, fretting until she feels like the dress looks just right.

"I can't believe the day is finally here. It seems like we just got engaged but then it also feels like I've been waiting forever." She dabs the linen at the corner of her eyes soaking up fresh tears.

Mia reaches for her purse and takes a strand of pearls out, placing them in Kate's hands.

"Something old, these are Grandma Trevelyan's pearls. Ana wore them when she married Christian, Mom wore them when she married Dad, Grandma wore them when she married Grandpa, and now we want you to wear them on your wedding day. They have a long line of love in them."

"Mia they're stunning, I'm honored." Kate lifts her hair allowing Mia to fasten the pearls around her neck.

"Now for something new," Cass places a very naughty black and red garter in Kate's hand next. "Pure silk and Elliot will have fun taking this off your leg with his teeth at the reception."

The look of shock and disapproval on Mrs. Kavanagh's face does not go unnoticed by me even though it leaves her face as quickly as it came.

"Something borrowed," I tell her opening a black velvet box. "I call these my second chance earrings. The first pieces of jewelry Christian ever gave me."

"Ana…" She gasps touching the diamond studs lightly.

"And last, something blue." Kate's mother hands her a handkerchief embroidered in baby blue ribbon. "This was my something blue when I married your father."

"Mom!" Kate envelopes her mother into a huge hug.

Cass, Mia, Bridgett and I step back allowing the mother and daughter a few moments to share privately.

Suddenly a knock sounds on the door. Ms. Karoline Smith's voice comes from the other side.

"Are we ready ladies?"

"Yes," Kate calls dabbing more tears which are threatening to fall.

The door opens. "Line up ladies, your gentlemen are waiting to escort you down the aisle. The groom and his mother are already in place."

"Ready?" I ask Kate.

"Ready." She confirms and we all line up single file to follow Ms. Smith to the back of the church.


	80. Chapter 80

Christian is standing with Mr. Kavanagh, Ethan and the other two groomsmen Drew and Brandon. They all turn in unison when they hear us approaching. I'm sure that the other four men are looking on appreciatively at the sight of the bride and her bridesmaids entering the back of the church but I am oblivious to anything except for Christian's smoldering gray gaze which is locked on me. Taking both of my hands in his he draws me to him, pressing me against his chest. He looks dashing in his tux, so dapper, sophisticated and edible. My face reddens at the direction of my musings.

"You look breathtaking Mrs. Grey." He leans down and breathes in my ear.

"So do you Mr. Grey."

Kate is dabbing her tears away again as she takes her place between her mother and father. She has elected to have both of her parents walk her down the aisle to give her away.

"I can't believe I'm giving away my little girl today." Mr. Kavanagh's voice is laden with a mixture of melancholy, adoration and pride for his only daughter. Kate has always been more of a daddy's girl than anything.

"I love you Daddy." Kate leans in whispering to her father and kisses him softly on his cheek.

The string quartet begins playing the first strains of Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring then the piano joins in as the doors swing open revealing the packed sanctuary. Standing at the front are the pastor and Elliot who looks just as nervous and thrilled as Christian did on our wedding day. On cue Bridgett and Drew begin their journey down the aisle followed by Cass and Brandon then Mia and Ethan. I can tell this experience is making the latter couple dream of their own wedding day by the beaming countenances illustrated on their faces.

Lastly it is Christian and I's turn to walk. Walking arm in arm we follow Mia and Ethan. Knowing that we have already done this and we are man and wife fills me with joy. When we pass my Mom and Bob I hear a squeal of joy escape from our son's lips. My Mom holds him up waving his little fist in the air. Reading her lips I know she is telling Teddy to wave 'hi to Mommy and Daddy.'

We part upon reaching the stage and take our places. The music changes abruptly to the wedding march announcing the arrival of the bride and her parents. Instinctively my eyes sweep to where Elliot is standing. When he sees Kate his eyes brim with tears. The sunlight beams down through the titanic dome in the center of the ceiling and is bathing her in its glorious glow. The entire room stands from the dark wooden pews for the bride and her parents. Even from this distance I see her draw in a large breath before taking her first step down the aisle towards her future husband. Walking at a steady tempo she seems to glide with ease down the scarlet carpeted aisle. It is almost as if she were floating on air, I'm sure that is how her heart feels at this moment. The music halts as she reaches the front of the church and her father lifts her veil, revealing her tear streaked face. They hug and kiss each other's cheeks before she turns to do the same with her mother.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

"Her mother and I do." Mr. Kavanagh's voice is firm but shaky with unshed tears.

Elliot steps forward and Kate's father places her hand in his before turning to escort his wife to their seats.

Hand in hand the soon to be newlyweds stand in front of the pastor. I lean to take the solid white rose bouquet from Kate's hand as she offers it to me.

"We are gathered here today in the company of God and this congregation to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…"

Grace is clutching to Carrick's hand tightly as the ceremony begins. I watch him squeeze her hand in his before bringing it to his mouth and pressing a warm kiss against her knuckles. As a mother I think of how she must feel seeing her oldest son marry the love of his life. Once upon time she was the only woman in her little boy's life, just like I am Teds, and now he has chosen his life partner and is marrying the love of his life. I can only pray that my son someday finds the kind of love that his father and I share and the kind of love his aunt and uncle have for each other as well.

My heart catches in my throat when Elliot begins reciting his wedding vows to Kate.

_"I, Elliot, take you, Katherine, to be my wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."_

Kate reciprocates his vows before reaching for the wedding band I have been wearing on my thumb. I place it in her shaking palm and watch as Christian removes Kate's band from his pinky finger resting it in his brother's hand. Elliot slips the ring on her finger narrating the ring ceremony vows to her as he does.

I hear Kate's voice tremble as she repeats Elliot's words placing his wedding band on his left ring finger.

_"I give you this ring in God's name, as a symbol of all that we have promised and all that we shall share."_

The pastor then holds both of their hands in his and asking the congregation to bow their heads he prays for the newly wedding couple. We all murmur 'amen' before raising our heads again.

"What God hath joined together let no man put asunder. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Elliot sweeps Kate into a dramatically passionate kiss. He grasps his arms around her back and she does the same to steady herself. They pour their love and celebration of the moment into that one single kiss before breaking apart.

"Ladies and gentleman I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Grey."

Kate and Elliot turn to face a cheering sanctuary full of their friends and family. I lean in to hand Kate her bouquet which she takes with a beaming smile spread across her lips. Arm in arm she and Elliot glide back up the aisle, giddy and high on the moment. The music begins to play again as they do and Christian holds his arm out for me. Before we begin walking he places a soft discreet kiss near my ear whispering the words 'I love you,' only loud enough for me to catch. Passing my Mom again I hear Ted begin to object at seeing his mother and father pass by him. Christian stops momentarily and takes Ted from my Mother's arms. Teddy gladly goes to his Daddy and coos at both of us.

"He wants to help his Daddy escort his Mommy out of the church." He tells me tucking Ted in his left arm taking mine in his right once more. A beaming grin radiates throughout me and we continue our journey up the aisle, joining the bride and groom at the back of the church.


	81. Chapter 81

*I know last night that Fanfic was having some issues and that a few of the chapters double posted. I have fixed that now and this is a new chapter. Thank you all for sticking with me through it and letting me know when something was not right. Enjoy~*

Pictures are taken before we depart from the church for the reception as well as at the site of the reception which is the Spanish Ballroom at the Fairmont Olympic. Kate and Elliot are both glowing while we are photographed in all of the traditional wedding album scenarios. The ballroom makes for a spectacular back drop with its expansive floor to ceiling windows, crystal chandeliers, ornate columns gilded in gold and sweeping staircase which is accompanied by the balcony that spans the entire length of one side of the ballroom. Round tables adorned with towering vases filled with blood red roses and glimmering white candles sit on each side of the wooden dance floor. Facing the dance floor is the horizontally long head table where the bridal party will sit.

Guests begin filtering in the ballroom, mingling amongst each other before taking a seat at their assigned tables. The guest list is rather lanky and I can only estimate that there must be over a hundred people in attendance. I have always known that the Kavanagh's were a very influential family but until now I really had no idea how capacious their affluence must be.

When Kate and Elliot arrive the DJ they have hired announcing over the loud speaker welcoming Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Grey. The crowd erupts in applause, hoots, hollers and even a few whistles as the newly wedded couple makes their entrance. Kate and Elliot take time to circulate through the room. Socializing and greeting their wedding guests. The role Kate has taken on as the wife of a Grey comes easily to her. She moves about the room with style and grace. All eyes are on Kate as usual and I am happy for her. She handles herself so well even among people I am sure she doesn't know at all.

Mom and Grace both offer to take Ted from Christian and I so that we can eat our dinner but our son is having none of it. The hectic few days we have had along with us being away from him last week seems to have made him determined to stay with his parents.

After dinner is served and the cake has been cut the couple takes the floor for their first dance. I smile thinking back to our first dance as man and wife and wonder to myself what song Elliot has chosen for he and Kate to dance to. He has been very secretive about it and refused to share it with Kate. He only told her that it was a gift he wanted to give to her on their wedding day and that she would love it. Teddy is wrapped in a soft blanket and fast asleep in my arms as I look on in anticipation.

"I wonder what song Elliot chose for them." I state out loud, mostly to myself.

Christian smirks down at me. ":You know don't you?" I ask him.

"Maybe," he teases as the corners of his mouth turn up.

At that moment Elliot takes the microphone the DJ is offering to him and begins to speak.

"Kate, you are the love of my life. Our marriage will be strong because we have learned from our parents; they have shown us what a marriage should be. I wanted to begin our lifelong commitment to each other where they began theirs. So after asking your parents and my parents what their first song they danced to as husband and wife was I was surprised to find out that both couples danced to the same song on their wedding day. And this is my gift to you, one of them," He smiles with love in his eyes.

"Our first song will be their first song."

I look to Kate and see the tears streaming down her face.

"And I would like to invite our parents and our brothers and sisters to join us in our first dance as man and wife. The love in our families is resilient and withstands the tests of time and I want for us to be surrounded by that kind of love today."

Elliot hands the microphone back to the waiting DJ and takes Kate's hand in his, pulling her to his body. Grace and Carrick are already following Kate's parents to the dance floor. Both couples are teary no doubt remembering their own wedding days.

"Shall we Mrs. Grey?"

"Ted's asleep."

"Then let's dance with him. Come." Christian stands and pulls my chair out for me. Placing a hand on the small of my back he leads me out to the dance floor. Mia and Ethan follow behind us hand in hand, meekly full of adoration for one another.

With Ted dreaming peacefully in my arms Christian wraps his arms around my waist, drawing me to him. Our son sleeps nestled between us. Simple, elegant notes from a piano swirl through the room and I instantly recognize, 'Lady.' The words of this song are so powerful. Having the knowledge that Grace and Carrick chose this song for their first dance makes the moment all the more enchanting.

Bathed in the pale light from the chandelier's and flickering candles scattered around the room the five couples on the floor begin to move in unison but still dancing to their own rhythm and speed. I am now too absorbed in captivatingly exquisite time I am cherishing with my own husband to notice anyone around us as he softly sings the words in my ear.

"Lady, for so many years I thought I'd never find you. You have come into my life and made me whole. Forever let me wake to see you each and every morning. Let me hear you whisper softly in my ear. In my eyes I see no one else but you. There's no other love like our love. And yes, oh yes I'll always want you near me. I've waited for you for so long."

My heart is full and I'm afraid it may very well burst from my chest at any moment. Dancing with our baby between us, surrounded by our family fills me an indescribable feeling. When the song finishes the DJ plays it again so that we can all dance longer. Briefly I glance around the room and I'm not sure there is a dry eye around us. Grace has her head resting over Carrick's heart. Ethan is softly kissing Mia's lips. Kate and Elliot have their cheeks pressed together and I believe he is singing the words softly to her much like Christian is singing them to me.

"You're the love of my life. You're my lady."

Teddy yawns make the most delicate tiny sound. Leaning down I press my lips to his cheek. I feel Christian place a kiss atop my head and I am encompassed in pure bliss.


	82. Chapter 82

The evening ends with a large crowd surrounding the waiting white limousine. Kate and Elliot emerge from the front doors of the Fairmont Olympic dressed in their getaway clothes. The assembly of family and friends begins blowing bubbles which soon surround the happy couple, leading them to their car. As they reach the car Kate turns to throw her bouquet over her shoulder. Her cousin Bridgett catches in almost in midair and I am quick to observe Elliot's friend Drew grabbing her in for a quick congratulatory hug on her bouquet catching victory. Maybe Bridgett did find the man of her dreams at her cousins wedding after all. Once the couple is tucked inside the limo it pulls away from the curb. We stay waving goodbye to them until they are out of sight. Sighing I turn to look up into the eyes of my husband.

"It was a beautiful wedding."

He nods in confirmation. "That it was. Would you like to stay longer?"

"No. I'm ready to get home. I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm exhausted." I yawn as if on cue to emphasize my point.

He leans down, barely grazing my ear with his mouth and murmurs softly to me. "What makes you think you're going to get much sleep tonight? I seem to remember a certain challenge you put to me yesterday morning and I intend on fulfilling the brief."

The keeping me quiet conversation. How in the world could it have slipped my mind? No doubt he intends to fulfill the brief to the fullest of his abilities. My inner goddess smirks knowingly. _Yes, he intends to fulfill the brief and your mind won't be the only thing slipping. You're panties will be slipping right of your body._ Hussy, I smirk back at her.

My Mom, Bob and Ray appear telling us that they are ready to call it a night. Ray is staying at the Fairmont in one of the rooms provided by Kate's parents for the out of town wedding guests. Christian and I both tried our best to convince him to stay at the house but he would hear nothing of it, insisting that he did not want to be a burden on us.

"So we'll see you at our home for lunch tomorrow Dad?" I ask Ray pecking him on the cheek.

"You couldn't keep me away Annie. Gramps here wants some playtime with her grandson." Ray touches Ted's fisted hand gently. Ted has fallen back to sleep after visiting with everyone at the reception and enjoy a bottle fed to him by his Daddy.

"Good night Dad. Ted will love having Grandpa playtime tomorrow."

"Gramps Annie, I'm Gramps. If I'm going to be a grandfather then I want to be a Gramps."

His playful insistence makes me laugh. "Okay then Gramps, I'll see you tomorrow."

Ray leaves in search of Jose' Senior and we are left with my Mom and Bob.

"Mom, will you and Bob take Ted home with you? Christian and I will follow in his car."

My Mom takes Teddy from my arms just as Taylor pulls up in the SUV ready to take them back to our home.

"Sure thing, you two take your time. Grammy and Grandpa Bob will take care of everything."

Taylor opens the backdoor for them and once Mom has Ted buckled in they get in the backseat with him and we watch as the SUV disappears into the night.

"Shall we go so our goodbyes Mrs. Grey?" Christian takes my hand in his leading me back to the ballroom where the reception is still going strong.

Mia and Ethan are tearing up the dance floor along with Bridgett, Drew, Cass and Brandon and a whole cluster of other people. I spot Jose and his girlfriend Monica dancing as well. I regret not getting to speak with him for more than the few moments when he came to the head table to talk with Kate and I before dinner was served. Having a sleeping Ted attached to me all night kept me still in my chair for the majority of the reception. Upon seeing Christian and I at the head table gathering my purse and Ted's bag Jose strolls over with Monica on his arm.

"Are you guys leaving already?" He asks.

"We are, the girls and I had a late night with the bachelorette party and I can barely keep my eyes open. I hate that we didn't get to see each other too much. We are having family over to our house tomorrow for lunch. Would you two like to join us?" I invite them both, hoping they will accept. I really do miss my friend.

"Ah, we can't tomorrow. I promised Dad that we would spend a father/son day together tomorrow. I'll be in town until Tuesday though. Perhaps we can do lunch on Monday?"

"Sounds good," I am excited at the prospect of lunch with Jose. I am also very proud of my husband who seems to have no probable with the two of us hanging out together. Part of me knows it's because he has grown past his issues but the other half of me suspects he is now even more at ease with the situation because Jose has a girlfriend.

"Great, I'll call you Monday then." Glancing at Christian for confirmation he leans in towards me, hesitating for a second before pecking me on the cheek.

"See you then. Good night."

Turning Jose and Monica go back in the direction of the dance floor. Monica seems like a sweet girl but is very quiet. I hope I can get to know her better in the future. Jose has been such a wonderful friend to me for so many years and I sincerely want him to be happy.

"He's still got it bad for you."

"Are we back to that again? You think everyone's got it bad for me. He has a girlfriend for goodness sake."

"Girlfriend or not…" He begins but I silence him by placing my index fingers against his full, delicious lips.

"Enough or it will be you that will be undergoing the subduing tonight and not me." I raise an eyebrow at him letting him know how serious I am.

"Duly noted." Christian confirms and I just shake my head. What will I ever do with this man?

**The house is quiet** and dark confirming that everyone is fast asleep when we get home. Closing the door softly behind me I latch the lock and set my purse on the foyer table. Reaching down I unfasten the straps on my heels and set them on the floor gingerly so as not to make much noise. My feet are aching from teetering in the heels all day and are singing my praises for freeing them from their confines. Christian loosens his tie while placing Ted's bag next to my purse.

"Would you like something to drink before bed?"

"Sparkling water and cranberry juice please."

"Coming right up, why don't you go start a hot bath for us and I'll be up to join you after I check on Ted."

A hot bath and a cool drink sound heavenly right now, even more appealing now by the fact that my Greek god husband will be joining me naked in the bath. I swear my inner goddess is taking over my thoughts at this moment making me feel quite brazen indeed. I can't ignore the thrill of eagerness soaring through my body right now at the thought of what Christian has planned for me tonight. Keeping me quiet…this could be a very intriguing scenario.

Turning the faucets on I begin filling the large tub with warm water and spill our favorite jasmine scented bath oil in. The oil begins to foam creating luscious bubbles and filling the room a provocative fragrance. I reach my arms behind me and glide the zipper of my dress down letting it fall the floor with sigh. The matching burgundy corset, panties, garter and black silk stockings look quite fetching on me if I do say so myself. Facing the mirror I am taking out my earrings when I see Christian standing in the doorway watching me holding two champagne flutes in his hands. One filled with my cranberry and water concoction and the other no doubt with champagne for himself.

"You are a vision…How did I not know about these lacy underthings?" He questions me as he saunters over to stand behind me, setting the glasses on the edge of the tub on his way over. Once he is standing directly behind me he places his hands on my hips abruptly pulling me back against his pelvis. I feel his erection digging into my behind and a strangled moan escapes from my parted lips. His hands move up my sides, his longer fingers brushing over my stomach before coming to rest over my breasts and toying with my nipples through the fine lace and satin.

"Do you like them?"

"You're lucky I didn't know about them sooner. I had known that this is what you were wearing under that dress you may have parted from the dress sooner."

He trails warm, wet kisses up across my left shoulder and sweeps my hair to lie over my right shoulder. As he nibbles his way up my neck he removes his fingers from my nipples and begins to take the hairpins from my curls. Making quick work of the task my hair is falling past my shoulders in sheer seconds. I emit another groan in response to his caresses and the hardness teasing my behind.

"I think the bath will have to wait." Christian declares and steps away from me to turn the faucets off. The bathroom is now silent with the exception of the sounds of my shallow breaths which are laced with anticipation.

"Come." He commands me softly and holds his hand out for me. Without an ounce of reluctance in my body I willingly go with him. I am filled with uncertainty as to what he intends to do with me but that only adds fuel to my desire.

Upon entering the bedroom I see two things on our bed. I recognize one, we have used one before but this one looks a bit different. The other though, the smaller of the two items I have seen before and my heart jumps in my throat. Christian notices my apprehension.

"Trust me Ana."

"I do." And I do, it's the truth.

Hooking his thumbs in my lace panties he glides them down my legs. On the outside I look brave but on the inside I am quaking. Gracefully I step out of the panties and towards the bed. Christian moves to stand in front of me and lifts my face to meet his with his hand under my chin.

"I want you to get on the bed. Lie facing up."

Is he not going to remove the corset, garter or stockings? I comply and climb onto the bed, sinking into its softness. He picks up the small belt looking object with a red sphere attached to the front of it.

"You've seen one of these before. I know at the time you didn't want to use it but after what you said yesterday morning I've decided we'll use it tonight. You won't be able to talk once I put it on you so we'll need hand signals to let me know what you are feeling."

My mouth goes dry and I feel like I've swallowed an entire hourglass of sand.

"When I place my hand in yours I want you to squeeze it once if what I am doing is okay with you, squeeze it twice if you want me to stop. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Yes…what?"

Holy shit, dominate Christian. This is going to be so hot.

"Yes sir."

"Good now lift your head up off of the bed."

I do as he asks and Christian secures the black belt around my head, the red ball resting in my mouth. He tests the straps to ensure that they are secure but not too tight.

"There. That will keep your screams quiet Mrs. Grey. No one will be able to hear your screams when you come. You'll have to let me feel how much I pleasure you."

I almost climax on the spot just from his words alone. "You are so beautiful in this satin and lace." He says stroking his fingers down my body, bypassing the apex of my thighs he runs his hands around the lace at the top of my stockings.

"Turn over on your stomach and bring your knees up beneath you."

Wordlessly I comply. I feel exposed and bare. My body is open, revealing all of me to Christian and I love it. I love what he does to me and how he makes me feel, his.

Immediatley he begins cuffing my ankles to the steel bar so that my legs are spread apart forcefully. Once he finishes he moves onto the task of securing my arms. He takes each wrist and places it in a steel cuff until both of my arms are bound behind me, resting between my ankles.

"You look magnificent Ana." His voice is strangled and husky. The knowledge that he is having a hard time controlling himself seeing me trussed up this way is erotically intense.

I hear his zipper and know he is undressing himself. The bed dips as he climbs on, placing himself behind me. I feel his fingers touching me there and I want to moan, I want to whimper but I can't.

"Dripping Anastasia, God you are fucking dripping for me." He hisses between his teeth and continues to spread the moisture up and over me before sliding his fingers inside.

I've been blindfolded before and I've been unable to hear him but I've always been able to talk and express my feelings. Now being mute like this brings on a whole new myriad of emotions. I truly am at his mercy.

He takes his time, touching, testing, stretching and feeling me. His fingers travel to what was once forbidden territory and I instantly try to gasp upon their entrance. I feel him place his other hand gently in my left hand. I know he's asking me if what he is doing is okay. I squeeze his hand once, speaking to him the only way I can.

"Good girl." He croons, rewarding me for my compliance.

My body begins to sing harmoniously at the feeling of his fingers there and his thumb rubbing tiny circles at my apex. Before I can lose myself in the feeling he removes both his fingers and his thumb and positions himself at my entrance. My body is aching for him now. The ache is deep in my belly and I can feel it radiating from my core through my limbs. I need him now. Christian is the only one who can take this away from me and fill me with hedonism beyond my wildest dreams.

Without warning he slams into me, slapping my behind simultaneously. My chest rumbles when I try to cry out. No sound.

He stills and I feel his hand in my again. I grasp his hand tightly, squeezing it once, urging him on. I need this. I want this. He pulls out and enters me again, this time slowly, relishing the feel of me.

"So soft Ana, you feel like pure silk wrapping around me."

He sets a long, luxurious rhythm and I lose myself to him and his ministrations. At moments I have to remind myself to breathe because the feeling is so full and intense. My body begins building in no time and because I cannot voice my pleasure I flex my muscles, embracing him tightly from the inside, letting him know the ecstasy he is bestowing upon me.

"Oh baby…" He acknowledges my subtle communication by moving harder and faster. My legs begin to tremble and my entire body shudders as my orgasm rips through me. I can feel it in my back, my legs and even my arms. I am engulfed in a massive wild fire that is spreading through me at lightning speed.

He slams into me and I feel his warmth spreading through my already scalding body. A groan as soft as the words he has spoken to me escapes his lips as he buries himself in me as deeply as possible. I cannot surface from oppressive passion that is consuming me and I don't want to. I want Christian to dictate my body and take me with him to the darkest places where only we go to together.


	83. Chapter 83

** Gradually reality begins to** creep back into my psyche and I become aware of what is happening to me. Idly for a moment I realize the bodice of my corset is damp, my milk, the orgasm was so intense I must have leaked. The next fleeting thought is that I am doing these things with my family in the house. _He is keeping you quiet though,_ my inner goddess reminds me.

Christian releases first my left wrist then my right from their restraints. Followed by my wrists are my ankles. Even after I am freed from my confines I cannot move my body. I feel immobile. My muscles protest as he takes hold of my ankles with his hands and stretches my legs out straight. I want to grumble in protest but the globe keeps me hushed. He moves my arms one at a time so that they are relaxed by my sides and then I feel his hands massaging me, bringing my languid limbs back to life. He rolls the stockings down my legs at a leisurely pace, taking special care to knead my legs and feet as he goes. His touch is firm and warm. The pressure rejuvenates me and I attempt to stretch my legs out even further. Before removing the gag he unzips dampened corset allowing it fall from my body. In a swift move he sweeps it from under me, depositing it to the floor.

Finally his fingers begin to undo the buckle at the bag of my head. I feel the strap loosen and the ball falls from my mouth. I was almost sure I would cry out once the apparatus was removed from my mouth but only a slight whimper leaks from inside of me.

"How do you feel?" He asks before running his hands between my shoulder blades and down my spine.

"Hmmmm…good…well fucked." I know I'm speaking words but I'm still having a difficult time processing them through the fog left by my orgasm and recent sexual experience as a whole.

"Such a dirty mouth Mrs. Grey. Perhaps I'm not done keeping it quiet just yet."

His words cause my mind to quickly sharpen and I spring back to the here and now. My heart begins pounding in my chest. Not done…yet? I swallow hard. What could he want to do more to subdue my mouth?

"Turn over Anastasia, on your back."

Without disinclination I comply with his demand.

"We're going to try something else new. If you don't like it same rules as before. Squeeze my hand twice and we will stop."

His eyes are locked on mine. They are leaden with hunger and I know his appetite is only for me. Keeping my gaze his fingers move south and he coats them with my wetness before placing them in his mouth.

"Ready?"

"Yes sir." I breathe as I shudder from head to toe. Christian is insatiable tonight, it seems as though he can't get enough of my body and I am all too willing to give him what he desires.

Maneuvering his body gracefully he moves over me so that his elbows are resting on either side of my hips and his knees are placed on either side of my head. Now his intentions are clear to me, he is going to silence my cries with his body while he devours mine. He is smothering me and it is divine. I am reveling in my submissiveness to him, my beautiful husband.

He reaches his hand back to find mine and I squeeze it once. Once he has received my message he lowers his length to my waiting mouth.

Oh God, I've heard about this…ummm…position…but I've never. My inner goddess is exhilarated but even she is stunned into silence, just like I am.

I take him in, all of him. He gives me no other choice as he dominates my mouth. His tongue has found me and begins licking, sucking and drawing circles around my core.

"So sweet Mrs. Grey…you are a delectable confection."

I want to whimper when he thrusts his hot tongue inside of me, lashing it against my spot. I cannot though. He is substantial and my lips are wrapped around him snuggly. I want to tell him how delicious he tastes to me but I can't I have to show him. I suck hard, taking him in and relishing each thrust he makes. In and out of my mouth, dictating my pace for me. I acquiesce and give all control to him.

He is fucking my mouth, this is so hot. His pace is hurried, hard and fast. I know it won't be long for him or for me. I feel myself beginning to soar again with his lap of his tongue. He drives two fingers inside of me and flicks them furiously causing me to erupt. Upon climax I feel my chest becoming wetter, my milk streams out from my nipples. I know I should feel soiled and ashamed but this is erotic beyond my wildest dreams. My legs are shaking uncontrollable and the pleasure is almost too much to process. His other hand finds one of mine and I give him the signal to finish.

"Fuck! Take it all Anastasia!" His voice is deep, dark and barely audible.

And I do. He pushes deeply into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat and releases himself, letting go. I feel his body stiffen as he does. Mine continues to tremble as he takes everything I have to give him with his mouth. Instinctively I swallow and he thrusts shallowly a few more times before freeing my mouth. His tongue moves up center once more, like he is savoring the taste of me.

In a moment his lips are on mine, coaxing my mouth apart our tongues caress and entwine with one another. He holds my face between his hands and pulls back to look at me, searching my eyes. I smile weakly to let him know that I am okay, more than okay.

His hands wander down to stroke my breasts.

"I'm going to nurse your breasts now Ana."

"Yes." One word is all I can manage.

"Lay on your side baby."

I turn so that I am facing him and he scoots down on the bed. Grasping one of my breasts in his hand he takes my nipple in his mouth and begins to suckle me gently. Euphoria flows through my veins and I wrap my legs around his, tangling myself in his body, bringing him closer to me. Pointlessly I think that we are going to have to refill the bathtub with hot water, it must be ice cold by now, but it was worth it.

The only sounds wrapping around me are those of Christian tending to my needs. Cherishing me and this intimacy we have together. Closing my eyes I let my hands entangle in his unruly locks, holding him against my breasts as he takes my milk into his mouth, swallowing softly.


	84. Chapter 84

*Here's a little more ladies*

** Warm water surrounds my** body soothing my expended muscles. The supple bath sponge in Christian's hand rubs over my skin. Washing me clean and soothing me at the same time. I close my eyes and allow my head to loll against his chest. Laying here with him and reclining against him feels so good after the breathtaking love making sessions we just had. Who am I kidding, those were not love making sessions, they were pure and raw fucking and it felt sensational.

"Relaxed Mrs. Grey?"

"Very Mr. Grey." I respond back to him, not moving anything but my mouth as I speak. I could lay here with him forever.

"Baby…" He starts to say something but then wavers. I can tell he wants to know if what we did is okay with me. I twist myself slightly so that I am facing him.

"Christian I love you and I love being with you." I press my warm moist lips to his. The humidity in the bathroom has created a warm mist around us. His pensive gray eyes search my face for the slightest bit of wariness.

"But I need to know if you are truly certain that what we did is okay with you Ana. I know gagging was a hard limit for you."

"It was but that was before."

"Before?" He questions me like it is not obvious to him that before means before we were in love like we are now, before we were husband and wife.

"Yes, before. Before we were in love like we are now. Before you made me your wife. Christian I trust you with my heart, body and soul. When will you get that through your thick skull?"

"I think we've discussed this thick skull idea of yours before Mrs. Grey." He smirks at me and I smile, I love my playful fifty.

"Besides I liked it."

"You did?" Astonishment is evident in his voice.

"I did. Especially the way you kept me quiet the second time." I pull my bottom lip through my teeth as my cheeks redden slightly.

"Don't bite your lip Mrs. Grey." He takes my lip from between my teeth gently with his fingers. "So you liked that position did you? You liked to sixty nine…I will have to keep that in mind." Shock appears on my face instantly. Did he really just say that? It sounds so dirty and sinful but then it kind of was but it was also very hot.

"Did I surprise you Anastasia?"

"A little…the sixty nine part. It always sounded so dirty to me when I heard people talk about it. I never imagined that I would be doing it with anyone."

His ability to talk about these things so nonchalantly once again rings to me how experienced he is and still more than a year later how inexperienced I am.

"It was very effective at keeping you quiet though. Perhaps next time you can be on top." He says and raises an eyebrow at me suggestively.

I feel the heat that never really left my face as it intensifies again. "Perhaps," I agree with him.

I turn and lean back against him once more. Scooping the warm water in his hands he rinses the suds from my arms and chest.

"That feels so amazing." I sigh feeling tranquil.

"Being with you is amazing, seeing you at the wedding today brought me back to our wedding day. Truth be told, the minute I saw you walking towards me at the back of the church I couldn't wait to get you home and in bed."

His strong hand cups my breast and squeezes it lightly as if he is amplifying his point to me. My body tenses under his touch, still sensitive from our prior activities. He continues to tug on my nipple gently until it becomes firm and pointed. I feel the pull in my center and squirm slightly.

"Ah…" I let out a soft moan.

"Even now thinking about it I still have not had my fill of you. I will never have my fill of you Ana."

His other hand joins in his ministrations moving between my legs and my hips answer by swaying to his rhythm.

"Christian…I need you." I blurt it out, filled with need.

"You do? And how do you want me?"

I flick my mind quickly through our conversation.

"I want you to silence me again with your body."

"You are insatiable Mrs. Grey." He moves me to stand himself and helps me out of the bathtub. He reaches for a towel and begins to dry me off, patiently drying every part of my body before drying himself.

This time I take his hand and lead him to from the bathroom and out to our bed.

"I want to be on top of you this time."

He lies down on the bed and I cannot help but notice his heated gaze. His Adam's apple moves as he swallows hard. I flick my eyes down for only a second and can already see how aroused he is by the thought of what we are about to do. He has seen every part of me in the most intimate ways but somehow this feels like it will be more exposing.

"It's okay baby. Take your time." He coaxes me tenderly.

I climb on the bed with him and tentatively place my leg on the other side of his torso so that I am straddling his body, facing his feet. Bending down I kiss the tip of his erection, darting my tongue out to taste him. I feel his hands caressing my behind, rubbing up my back and coming back down my sides.

"Move back Ana. Bring your body back towards me."

Oh God. I am quivering from nerves and anticipation. My inner goddess is already in position though. Legs spread wide and ready for action.

I shuffle on my knees as he guides my stance with his hands on my hips.

"Good girl…" He utters.

"I don't know if I can do…" Self-consciousness tries to drift in, replacing my desires with doubt. I feel barer than I ever have before. My entire lower body is on display.

"Your body is exquisite Ana, all of it. My beautiful wife let me taste you again."

I whimper at his words and finding a jolt of boldness I move back as far as he guides me to.

"That's it baby. Now wrap your pleasing mouth around me."

Lowering myself down again I take him in between my lips. He is hard and smooth at the same time.

"Yesss…That's it baby." He hisses between his teeth before I feel his tongue lavishing me sensitive wet flesh. He takes his time enjoying and relishing me just as he did before. His tongue testing me along with his fingers. I concentrate on sucking him hard, licking and moving my tongue. Swirling it around his tip and up and down his length. Because I am in command I thrust my mouth on him. Small whimpers and sighs escape my lips when his tongue finds my spot.

"Oh Ana, give it to me baby. Come on my face Ana." Did he just say that? At his command my legs stiffen then begin to tremble uncontrollably. I feel like my body is going to tear in two at the onset of my impending orgasm. Keeping my mouth firmly around him to silence my screams I allow it to consume me. My arms start shaking too and I am grateful when I feel him jerk inside of my mouth, letting go himself. I'm not sure I can hold myself up much longer.

Christian continues on, lessening his ministrations to gently bring me back down from my orgasm.

I am lying in a heap of exhaustion and satisfaction on the bed next to him. His arms are wrapped around me; my back is to his front. My body feels drained and full of pleasure all at once. He kisses the back of my ear.

"I love you Ana." He tightens his hold on me.

"I know and I love you Christian."

Without any more words we fall asleep in each other's arms, his methodic breathing pattern lulling me to dream.


	85. Chapter 85

** The morning sun greets** my sleepy eyes and I close them again briefly trying to capture a few more moments of slumber. I am tangled in a muddled disarray of sheets and blankets. Stretching my well used body I grumble a bit at the achiness I feel. Blushing slightly I think back over the nights events and remember exactly how I earned my sore muscles. It was a deliciously delightful night full of sex…kinky sex. Our huge bed is sans my husband who initiated the kinky sex filled night. Closing my eyes I feel myself drift my consciousness and back to sleep. Before another coherent thought crosses my mind inertia takes over.

Baby grunts and gurgles fill my ears pulling me back from dozing. How long did I fall back asleep for? I have no idea since I did not notice the clock the last time my eyes were open. I feel the bed shift and feel my son's soft baby skin next to me.

"Here son, you lay here with Mommy while I take a shower." Christian's voice speaks softly to Ted.

Squinting my eyes I move my arms to cradle Ted to me. "I'm awake Christian." He looks delicious in his pajama pants. My fingers itch to touch him, run across the skin at his waistband. I love him like this.

"Baby I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay, he needs to eat. I had to wake up anyways."

"I already gave him a bottle Ana. You just close your eyes and rest for a while with him."

I feel Ted rooting his little face against my chest. "I think he's still hungry Daddy." Moving the sheet down to reveal my breast I guide Ted towards my nipple. Right away he latches and begins to nurse.

"He's a little piggy Daddy." I smile endearingly at my baby.

"He's a growing boy Mommy."

"That he is. Can you believe he's already over two months old?" My voice is wistful with amazement. My little Ted is already growing too fast. Christian shakes his head incredulously before speaking and when he does his tone of voice mirrors mine.

"No, it seems like just yesterday that…" His train of through trails off.

"That?" I question prompting him to continue.

"That you told me you were pregnant with him. Ana…" He begins then sits down on the bed next to Ted and I. I watch as he reaches out to touch Ted's face. Ted shifts his innocent gray eyes to meet his father's.

"Ana I'm so sorry for the way I reacted when you told me you were pregnant with Ted."

I take his hand from Ted's cheek and pull it to my mouth to kiss his fingers.

"I know that Christian. You've told me that before. I know you were just scared. I was scared too."

"No Ana, you don't get it. We've talked about having another baby and I feel so guilty because when you do tell me you are pregnant then I will be happy from the first moment I find out about the new life growing inside of you. When you told me about Ted though I wasn't happy, I said terrible things to him when he was first inside of you. I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for that Ana."

Instantly the words I overheard him speaking to Ted a few nights ago in the nursery flood my mind. I have to tell him what my first thoughts were. I've never shared them with him before.

"When Dr. Greene told me I was pregnant I was scared to death. I knew you would be angry and I just kept thinking that the time wasn't right. I even held my belly and asked my little blip why he had to come now and told him that we needed more time just you and me." I swallow the lump in my throat, forcing it back down before choosing my next words. "For a brief moment I thought that I should end the pregnancy."

Christian's eyes lock on to mine as he digests my words and the magnitude of what I have just admitted to him.

"You thought about terminating your pregnancy?" His voice is barely a whisper.

"For only a second but then I knew I could never do that. I knew I would keep blip, but don't you see Christian I was just as scared as you were?" A single tear trickles down my cheek.

"You only thought about that because you were afraid I would be angry and you were right Ana I was. I was angry about our son. I owed him so much better than that. What you thought about doing is not your fault, it is my fault."

"Christian you can't turn back the hands of time. What's done is done and we learned from it. Teddy could not have two parents to love him more than we do. We will never love another child more than we love him. Our hearts will grow and expand and we will love that new baby just as much as we love our first baby. Just as much as we love each other."

Sitting quietly for endless moments it seems, Christian ponders my words. I sit silently allowing him the time he needs. Finally he lies down on the bed beside us and brings his arm to rest on top of mine which is holding Ted while he eats. This time when he speaks it is not to me.

"You are my world Teddy. Daddy will love you forever."

"He knows that Daddy." And I know our son does. Lying between us he is cradled in endless love and protection. He is happiest when we are both with him.

"Christian promise me that if something like that is every burdening your heart again you will tell me. I want to know so I can help you."

"Mrs. Grey you are so strong…"

"Isn't that what I keep telling you Mr. Grey?" I smirk at him with nothing but love behind my emotions.

"Yes you do Mrs. Grey." He leans in and kisses me gently on my lips before lying back on his pillow and watching his wife and baby adoringly.


	86. Chapter 86

*I've been completely ruined by Dorian in the Dark Light Series...OMG love those books. Sorry its been a while since I updated...I haven't been able to put my book down. Enjoy the new chapter!*

**Joyful babbles and coos** pervade the family room. Gramps, as Ray insists on being called, is playing with his grandson. Watching my usually impassive stepdad with such an elated and animated expression on his face is a cheerful sight. Teddy brings out the best in everyone who surrounds him. Mom, Grace, Mia and I pass through the room on our way to the patio. The men are all piled on the couches watching the Mariners game. Ray insisted that Ted should stay in with the men and watch the game.

"He's one of the guys Annie. Let him join us men to watch some baseball."

I shake my head with laughter in my eyes.

"Okay Dad…I mean Gramps." I bend down and kiss Ray's cheek. "You be a good boy Ted."

Ray sits him up on his lap, supporting his little body with his arms.

"You go on Annie, we've got this. Don't we little partner?"

I catch Christian's gaze which is filled with as much happiness as mine is. I revel in this family time. The love and togetherness that is filling our home is something very new to both of us. I never had a big family to enjoy these times with and Christian never allowed himself to believe that he deserved this kind of love when he was younger. Sharing this with him now only serves to anchor us closer together. I cannot help but allow myself to fantasize about many more years of mirth and family gatherings in our home.

"Did our Ted stay in to watch TV with the other men?" Mia questions sitting down in one of the chairs and taking a sip of her sangria.

"Ray insisted he watch baseball with the guys." I answer her back taking my own sip of sparkling water with cranberry juice. The later summer heat is definitely here but the cool breeze coming off of the water makes it tolerable and almost pleasant outside.

"Ray and his sports, some things never change." My mom shakes her head at the thought but I can tell it's a warm memory playing in her mind. I like to think that Mom and Ray had good times together even if they weren't meant to have a happily ever after.

"Carrick, Elliot and Christian have always enjoyed the Mariners. It is one of the few things they were able to share together when the boys were younger."

Hearing Grace talk about Christian's childhood is endearing to me, especially hearing positive stories.

"I'm sure once Teddy is old enough every single one of the men in their will take him to his first Mariners game." Grace continues.

"And they'll probably enjoy it more than the child will." Mia interjects causing us all to nod in agreement. Little boys never really grow up.

A sudden uproar of cheers and clapping erupts from inside the house.

"Home run?" Mom asks raising an eyebrow in speculation.

"That would be my guess." I agree with her.

"I do hope they win, Carrick is always a much more agreeable person if his team wins."

Changing the subject my mom turns to Grace and begins telling her how beautiful the wedding was yesterday. Grace agrees and you can see the hint of pride in her eyes as she talks about how proud she is of her sons for choosing such wonderful wives. I've never felt anything but approval and affection from Grace. Even when things were rocky about our engagement and then after the accident when I was first pregnant she has been supportive of her son and I's relationship. In a way she has been a rock for us, a steady and unmoving force to provide sustenance and support when we needed it the most. Now that we are parents she gives us encouragement as we learn to care for our new son. Her ardor goes far beyond the reach of a doctor or mother-in-law. Grace is a second mom to me, pure and simple.

"And Ana," My mom addresses me, pulling me from my thoughts. "Christian mentioned you and he having more children the other day…" She trails off leaving the open ended remark for me to fill in. She lifts her glass to her lips and takes a drink while looking at me with keen eyes.

"We've talked about it a few times. Teddy is still young though, so no more babies for a while." There, hopefully that will suffice her curiosity.

"Will you go back to work fulltime soon?"

"I'm not sure Mom. I'm working from home some now and I've gone in to work a few times."

"Well if you have more that might make working a little difficult." Mom, I love you but not here, not now.

"I'm sure Christian and I will find a way to make everything workout Mom. We always do. He's a supportive and involved father."

"How does he feel about you working?" Well, she hit the nail on the head. I can't help but notice Grace and Mia gazing at me now too. Both of them are obviously interested in what my answer to this question might be. I shrug and fiddle with my fingers in my lap.

"He wasn't keen on it at first at all. He wanted me to be with Ted and to not leave him. He was afraid that Ted wouldn't get everything he needed if I wasn't with him. Now though after many discussions and Grace helping us with bottle feeding," I pause to smile at Grace. Secretly hoping I can convey to her silently just how much I appreciate her help. "He understands how important my work is to me. It defines who I am, it's a part of me and I worked so hard to earn my degree, I want to use it. Being Ted's mom is my first priority but I don't want to lose who I was before I was a mom either."

I feel Grace put her hands on top of mine as they rest on my lap. She squeezes them gently, reassuring me. My mom is quiet for a few seconds before speaking.

"Baby girl I don't think I've ever given you enough credit for just how remarkable of a woman you have become."

For a moment I think I might tear up at my mom's words. Our relationship has always been an unconventional one so hearing her say those words to me and knowing she admires the woman I have grown up to be means so much to me.

"Thank you Mom."

"So, how many more grandbabies are we talking about?" She smiles, filled with good humor.

"Maybe two more, I'd love to have a little girl. Although I'm not sure how Christian would feel about that."

"I believe he would love a daughter Ana. A little girl is just what every man needs. Daddy's love to dote on their little girls." Grace exclaims with glee. "And when our Mia came Christian fell in love with her. He would do the same thing with a daughter."

I do remember how fondly Christian has spoken of baby Mia and how much he loved her when she came to live with the Grey's. Perhaps he would love a little girl…but first we will spend time with our Teddy. I want it to just be the three of us. Our little family unit for a little while longer.


	87. Chapter 87

We ladies sit on the patio enjoying the good company and picturesque weather the early evening is providing for us. I'm not sure how much time passes by but it is evident that none of us are giving much thought to it. The French doors open simultaneously catching my attention away from our conversation.

"Well, it's a game!" Ethan exclaims stretching his arms above his head and yawning. "Mariners 7, Athletics zip!" He walks over to where Mia is sitting in the chair beside me and places his arms around her shoulders. She looks up at him and he bends down to kiss her.

They are such an attractive couple. Mia with her cute dark bobbed hair dressed in dark green capris and a studded white tank and Ethan dressed in simple cargo khaki shorts with his Mariner's t-shirt and ball cap. His blonde hair curls from under his ball cap and his hazel eyes sparkle with affection for his girl.

"Good thing they won, Dad will be in a much better frame of mind than he would have been if they lost." She says, still gazing into his eyes.

"It's a beautiful evening and I'm stiff from sitting so long to watch the game, would you like to go for a walk sweetheart?"

"I'd love to."

Mia stands and taking her hand Ethan leads her away from the patio and off in to the direction of the meadow. The summer sun adds a golden gleam to the meadow before them and the wind causes the limbs of the willow trees to dance. I watch as they walk hand in hand, swinging their joined hands between them. Mia laughs warmly obviously at something Ethan has said to her and he brings their hands to his mouth, kissing her skin softly.

"Ahhh…to be young and in love again," My mom sighs.

"That they are," Grace agrees watching her daughter and fiancé strolling together, "young and in love."

The doors open again and this time the sound of my husband's voice speaking to our son captures my attention. Teddy is enthralled watching his daddy's face and listening to his voice.

"Speaking of in love," I hear my mom whisper to Grace upon seeing Christian and Ted. I don't turn my attentiveness from my boys to watch their exchanged glances or hear their words. I am caught up in watching the sight before me.

"See there's Mommy Ted." Ted's little arms jerk and he squeals.

"Did he stay awake for the entire game?"

"Nope, he fell asleep on Gramps about the third inning and just now woke up." Christian crosses over to where I am sitting and takes Mia's now empty chair beside me. "Dad, Bob and Ray are in the kitchen having beers and snacks but Teddy wanted to come and find Mommy so decided to see what you lovely ladies have been up to all afternoon."

"I don't know who's more charming, my little grandson or his daddy." Mom blushes slightly. Christian flashes his megawatt grin and it is very evident that she is still affected by his devastating good looks. I rub my little man's back as he cuddles against his daddy's chest, grasping Christian's black t shirt in his tiny fist.

"They are both charming Mom. I'm completely smitten with them both."

Teddy moves his little fist to his mouth and sticks his pink baby tongue out.

"I believe our little Ted is trying to suck his thumb." Grace smiles as we watch Ted put his thumb to his lips. He moves his thumb and begins sucking it but only for a few seconds he takes it out and replaces it with a piece of his daddy's shirt. We all giggle and Christian realizes what his son is doing.

"No son, wrong parent." He laughs. "I'm pretty sure he's hungry Mommy."

Teddy is very insistent and when he comes up empty in his attempt he begins to fuss. Wiping away my tears of laughter at my little boy's antics I reach out for him.

"Here let me feed him."

Christian hands Teddy to me and tells me he will go and fetch my cover.

"No need Christian. You just go join the men for a few beers in the kitchen and scrounge up some snacks for everyone. I don't need my cover as long as you boys stay in the house."

He kisses the top of my head as he stands. "I will definitely make sure the men stay in the house. Do you ladies need anything?"

"Some snacks and a refill on our drinks would be lovely, thank you son." Grace tells him.

"Sure thing Mom, I'll be right back."

Christian leaves us to go to the kitchen. My stomach growls and I'm glad he is bringing back something for me to snack on. Teddy announces his desire to be fed with another cry and I quickly oblige his request and allow him to nurse.

"You raised a wonderful son Grace."

"Thank you Carla, but I can't take all of the credit for the man Christian has become. I think most of that credit goes to your daughter."

Looking up from where I had been concentrating on feeding my son I am momentarily stunned by the words being exchanged between Christian and I's mothers.

"Grace you're his mom, you raised him." I tell her, timorous by her declaration to my mom.

She nods in agreement then continues. "He is the man he is today because of you though Ana. I hope you know…I hope I tell you enough how eternally grateful I am to you for what you have brought out in him. His ability to love and be loved is constantly growing and it is all because of you."

_Oh_…I know Grace feels this way towards me but having her express it in front of my mom has my heart bursting with love.

"Here you ladies are a fruit tray, a pitcher of sangria and for you my beautiful wife another cranberry drink." Christian sets the tray filled with food and drinks down on the table top and hands me my beverage.

"Thank you Christian," I take the glass and quickly take a drink. Nursing Ted always makes me thirsty.

Taking a plate from the tray Christian fills it with fruit and a spoonful of yogurt sauce before setting it in front of me. "And here's a snack for you Mommy while you feed Ted."

"This looks lovely son. Now shoo…you scurry along so we women can continue with our girl talk."

"Talking about me?" He raises an eyebrow at me and smirks in the most adorable way.

I lift my face up to kiss his lips; they're so close I can't resist tasting them.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me baby," he whispers against my mouth, "I love you Mommy."

"I love you too Daddy."


	88. Chapter 88

The entire family stays late into the evening. For that I am glad because I am not eager to let go of our family time any sooner than I have too. It's hard to know when we will all have another chance like this to be together. I am hopeful that with Bob's job moving him and Mom to Las Vegas these events will become more frequent. I want my mom to be able to see Teddy grow up and enjoy being a grandparent to him.

When Teddy's bath time comes my mom and Grace volunteer to bathe him and give him his evening bottle. I smile watching them take him upstairs. Ray, Carrick, Bob, Ethan and Mia are all enjoying each other's company so I excuse myself to tidy up the kitchen.

"I'll help you baby." Christian volunteers standing to follow me.

We load the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and I reach for the towel to wipe the counter tops. Warm arms encircle my waist and I lean back into his chest, allowing his scent to envelope me.

"It's been a good day hasn't it?" He asks kissing my hair.

"It has." I agree, breathing him in, body wash, fresh linen and Christian…mmmmm. "I've loved this entire weekend. Having our families around us and them being with Ted has been…wonderful. I don't want it to end."

"Me neither. With your mom and Bob moving closer hopefully we can do this more often. Ray isn't that far away either." He tells me reflecting my earlier thoughts.

"I know, I can't wait for them to be closer."

Standing in the quiet of our kitchen, dimly lit only by the few pendant lights hanging above the island, I am content to let Christian hold me in his arms. I delight in this solace between us and allow him to sway my body gently back and forth with his own. The laughter of our family from the other room swirls around us causing my face to break out in to a smile.

"Think we should go back and join them?" He asks sweeping my chestnut hair to one said and kissing my neck softly.

"Hmmmm…we probably should."

Just then Mia walks in causing me to jump and move away from Christian quickly. My heart almost skips a frantic beat but calms when I see who it is coming in the room. For a split second I thought it was Ray.

"Well…Well…Well…big brother caught necking with his wife in the kitchen." She giggles reaching in the fridge for a drink.

"Very funny Mia." Christian admonishes her jokingly.

"Just be glad it was me and not Ray. No dad likes to find their daughter with a man's hands all over her. Take it from me. Dad caught Ethan and I kissing in my room and almost went through the roof. Better play it safe big brother and keep the necking undercover."

"Hey, she's my wife Mia. You and Ethan aren't married yet."

"Doesn't matter," she scoffs facetiously, "Ana's still Ray's baby girl. You'll see big brother when you have a little girl of your own someday."

I laugh at their back and forth banter. "You two are something else."

"Well, I've got my drink I came in for." She shakes a bottle of water in the air indicating she's got what she came in for. "You two keep your hands off of each other, and no more necking in the kitchen." She winks at me before walking out.

"Let's go join everyone before they have to leave." I tell Christian reaching for his hand. He takes my hand and we walk back out to join the rest of the family.

A short time later Ray announces that he should be heading back to the hotel room, I am sad to see my dad go. I know he has to get home early tomorrow for work but that doesn't make having him leave any easier.

"Come and say goodbye to your grandson Gramps before you leave." I tell him and he follows me upstairs.

Mom and Grace are just getting ready to tuck Teddy in. He's already sound asleep and I'm sure he has been for quite a while but the grandmothers have been busy holding him and loving him.

"Mom, Ray came to say goodbye to Ted."

I watch as Mom hands my son over to Ray, kissing Ted's little forehead first.

"We'll be downstairs Ana," Grace says before she and my mom turn to retreat from the room. Turning back from watching them leave I watch Ray and Ted. Teddy is swaddled in his baby blue linen swaddling blankets sleeping peacefully. Witnessing the tender love my dad has for him melts me into a puddle of mush. Ray rocks him in his arms, just watching his tiny face as if he is trying to memorize every little detail of Ted. I approach them and place my hand on Ray's shoulder lightly.

"We'll come see you next month Gramps, I promise."

I hear Ray sniff and know he is trying desperately to hold back tears. _Oh Ray…Daddy._

"I'll be waiting for you. You've done a fine job Annie, I'm so proud of you."

My throat tightens with unshed tears. "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too Annie…and I love you my little partner. Don't you go growing up too much before Gramps gets to see you next month, you hear me?"

I watch my dad lean down to kiss Ted's cheek.

"Here Mommy, you put him in his bed." He hands Teddy to me and follows me over to the crib.

"Night night my sweet baby boy." Ted grunts softly as I lay him down. Reaching over I flip on his lullabies and the first strains of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star begin to play. I don't know how long Ray and I stand and watch Teddy sleeping serenely in his crib but like I have been for so many moments this weekend I am grateful for this one. And I am grateful for Ray, my dad and the best Gramps that a little boy could ever ask for. I look forward to watching them play together as Teddy grows.

"As soon as he can hold a fishing rod I'm gonna teach him how to fish Annie. I've told him all about it already."

I giggle and kiss Ray on the cheek, taking him by surprise. "I know you will Dad and I know he will love it."

Ray touches Ted's cheek once more before we turn and leave the room. He flips the light switch on the way out and takes my hand as we walk down the hall towards the stairs.


	89. Chapter 89

*I know this is kinda short but I wanted to give you guys something new. I've been a little under the weather and hope to get back to writing more soon. I've got tons of ideas swimming around in my head.*

**After a family filled** day I am exhausted and ready for bed. Standing in front of the dresser I pick up my brush and run it through my hair before slipping one of Christian's t-shirts over my head. My mind wanders aimlessly over the day's events. Talking with Mom and Grace, seeing Ray with Ted and our time together in the quiet solace of Ted's nursery. Sighing to myself I set the brush down and pad over to bed. The bedroom door clicks open with the turn of the knob and Christian walks in.

"He's settled down. He took a bottle, burped and is fast asleep." He tells me closing the door behind him.

"Good." I smile and pull the covers back to climb in the bed. The soft sheets feel divine. I yawn; I guess I'm more tired than I thought I was.

"Busy day wasn't it Mrs. Grey?"

I nod my agreement and snuggle down amongst the pillows readying myself to watch the show that is my husband undressing. Christian unsnaps his watch placing it beside my hairbrush before pulling his t-shirt over his head. Hmmmm…my husband only in his jeans. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth, appreciating his beautifully sculpted muscles and defined abdomen. Unbuttoning his jeans he slips them past his hips and steps out of them revealing his black boxer briefs.

"You're eyes seem to be feasting on me." He smirks knowingly.

"You have no idea Mr. Grey." I recount smirking back at him.

I watch him stalk over to me and pull back the blankets to join me. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me to his body. I luxuriate in his warmth. His soft chest hair tickles my cheek. Placing my hand on his chest I concentrate on his heart beating a steady tattoo beneath my fingers. I allow my fingers to travel south, feeling the soft hair trailing down into his boxer briefs. I breathe in his scent and my entire body goes lax just from the magnificent feeling he envelopes me with.

"You and Jose' are going to lunch tomorrow?" His voice breaks my silent reverie.

"Yes."

"Will you be taking Ted with you?"

"Probably, Ted and I will see Mom and Bob off at the airport before meeting Jose'."

He lays silently for a few moments, his hands rubbing circles on my back.

"I'm going to send Sawyer with you tomorrow Ana."

"Okay."

"Okay? You don't mind."

Honestly I don't. I will feel better having Sawyer with us. I haven't given much thought to the current situation since the night before the wedding but it has still been playing in the back of my mind. Mr. Williamson is still out there and after the display at the karaoke bar I am even more convinced of his warped sense of events between him and me. Christian pulls back to look into my eyes. Studying my expression to see what I am thinking.

"Christian I will feel safer with Sawyer around. Especially having Ted with me. I'd like to think that Mr. Williamson has drifted into the past but I believe that may be too good to be to true."

Just saying that man's name surges a shudder through my body. Here and now I vow to make a stand against this man if he accosts me again. I will not let him and his twisted intentions continue to affect my life. I refuse to be a victim again.

"Thank you Ana."

"No, thank you Christian for loving me like you do."

"I was made to love you Mrs. Grey." His words leave me breathless. His eyes shining are a shimmering gray and I feel like he can see straight into my soul.

Keeping my eyes locked onto his I lean up and faintly brush his lips with mine. His tongue sweeps across my bottom lip begging me to open my mouth to him. I comply and allow him to consume me with his kiss. Our tongues graze each other in a waltz as old as time bringing a subtle whimper from deep within me up to the surface. Christian swallows my sounds, hushing me with his kisses. When he breaks away my chest is moving up and down. My breaths are staggered and I attempt to bring my breathing under control. He brings his hand up to cup the back of my head and pulls me back to his chest.

"I could hold you like this forever. Just you and I wrapped around each other. This is where I always want to be."

A little yawn and sigh erupt from the baby monitor beside the bed. I giggle at Ted's baby noises. I love listening to him over the monitor while he sleeps. He is such a vocal little baby all the time.

"He is never going to stop talking once he learns how." I smile at the thought. Thinking of my Teddy learning and growing makes me happy.

"Not so fast Mrs. Grey. I want to enjoy every moment with our son."

"I do too. You and he are the best things that have ever happened to me."

"Ditto baby."

Christian presses a kiss to the top of my head and I snuggle closer to him.

"Sleep well beautiful girl."

Another yawn escapes my lips. "Good night Christian." Closing my eyes I allow myself to drift off to sleep. Safely protected in the arms of my knight in shining armor.


	90. Chapter 90

**Teddy's tiny body is** pressed against mine when I wake up. He is wrapped in his pale blue receiving blanket which is dotted with puffy white clouds. His baby duck Kissy Kissy gown peaks out from beneath the blanket. Muted rays of sunlight are streaming through the sheer curtains draped over the bedroom window. It must be late. Blinking my eyes they come into focus and I see a note lying on Christian's pillow next to me. Careful not to wake my sleeping baby I reach for the paper and read the fine script.

_Mommy, _

_You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to wake you. Ros called and I had to go in early for a breakfast meeting. Please tell Carla and Bob goodbye for me, I am sorry I wasn't able to see them again before they left. Our son has been fed and changed. He wanted to go back to sleep and snuggle with his mommy so I obliged his request. I love you Mrs. Grey._

_Daddy_

A peaceful smile spreads across my lips as I read his words. Teddy grunts and shifts in his sleep but makes no move to wake. I cautiously set the note back on the pillow as not to disturb him and move my arm to encircle his small frame. I brush my fingers across his left hand and watch with wonder as they slowly uncurl to find my index finger. He curls them back this time clutching my finger in his teeny grasp. I love the feel of his delicate feather soft skin against mine. I rub my thumb to and fro over his hand and press a kiss against his head.

The alarm clock on Christian's bedside table reads nine o'clock am and I know I should get up and great the new day but the urge to steal a few more moments of solace with my baby is too strong. I need to have Mom and Bob at the airport by noon for their flight back to Georgia. Snuggling down to Ted I decide to enjoy this if only for a brief amount of time. All too soon I will need to get up for breakfast and no doubt Ted's tummy will awake him telling him that it's time for another feeding. I close my eyes and breathe in his sweet baby scent as I continue to delicately drum my fingers across his.

**We are at Sea** Tac by eleven to drop off Mom and Bob. Our goodbyes are tearful and our hugs are long. Mom cradles Teddy in her arms and tells him over and over again how much Grammy loves him and how he shouldn't grow too much until she gets to see him again at Thanksgiving. Sawyer stands dutifully by holding the umbrella to shield us from the uncommon summer rain which is now falling from the sky as we say our final goodbyes. Oddly the rain seems to match our tearful and somber moods.

"Be sure to call me when you land Mom." I tell her as she places Ted back in my arms.

"We will baby girl. Tell Christian we love him and thank him for allowing us to use his plane."

"Mom, you know he insists. He wanted you to use it when you came too."

"He's a good man Ana, such a good husband to my daughter and father to my grandson." She brings her hand to her lips and kisses it then touches Ted's little head once more.

"Grammy loves you baby boy."

Bob stands by my mother's side and gently places his hand on the crook of her arm. "Come on Carla, they're ready to take off. Goodbye Ana, be safe."

"I will. Bye Mom, bye Bob."

Mom smiles and finally turns towards the stairs. She doesn't look back but I don't mind. I know it's hard for her to leave Ted and I behind. My heart yearns for the time when she and Bob are in Nevada and not so far away from us. The rain begins to fall harder as I watch them close the doors to the plane.

"We'd better get going Mrs. Grey." Sawyer's voice breaks my trance.

I nod and cradle Ted closer to my chest. "Yes, thank you Sawyer."

He opens the back door of the SUV and waits with the umbrella while I strap Ted in his car seat and climb in myself. Sawyer starts the engine and slowly pulls away from the plane. I turn around to watch out of the rear windshield until we are off the tarmac and I can no longer see the plane. Ted fusses slightly and I give him my finger to hold in his hand.

"We'll see Grammy again soon baby boy. So soon it will feel like no time has passed at all."

I know my words are silly and that Ted can't understand what I am saying but my voice soothes him and provides comforting reassurance for myself.

My cell phone inside my purse begins ringing 'Your Love is King'. The corners of my mouth tug into a reluctant smile as I search my bag for it.

"Hello," I breathe blowing out a shudder from my tears.

"Ana, baby are you okay? What's wrong?" Christian asks me in an alarmed voice.

"I'm fine, just sad from saying goodbye to Mom and Bob." I glance over at Ted; his eyes are fixed on me. I strum my fingers over his to acknowledge that he is watching me.

"We'll see them again soon baby. I wish I was there to hold you."

"I know." I sniffle once more, my tears finally subsiding.

"Did they get off okay then? No problems?"

"No, everything was fine. Thank you for your note." I try to move the subject from that of my mom leaving. I hear Christian sigh over the phone before continuing.

"You were so beautiful sleeping this morning, both of you were when I left…" He trails off before speaking again. "So you are going to meet Jose' now?"

"Yes, we are meeting him at a little Italian place in Pike Place Market." With my words my smile gets broader, I am looking forward to spending some time with my friend.

"Good and you'll keep Sawyer with you?"

"Yes, he will be with us. Don't worry Christian we'll be fine."

"Call me as soon as you are done with lunch. I'll leave work then since I came in early. Taylor drove me in the SUV this morning but I have given him the rest of the day off. He has a function at his daughter's school tonight."

"We will call you Daddy. Teddy sends his love." Teddy forms a little _o _with his pink lips and squeals excitedly. "Did you hear him Daddy? I think he knows I'm talking to you."

"I did hear him. Tell him I love him to the moon and back Mommy…and Mommy?"

"Yes Daddy?"

"I love you too." I can hear him exhale, as his words are breathy.

"I love you Christian, bye."

"Bye."

With that he hangs up the phone and I do the same. When I look back up from where my hand is caressing Ted's we are pulling up in front of the bistro. Jose' is standing under the red, white and green striped awning of the restaurant near the curb waiting for us. He waves when he sees the SUV and I raise my hand, waving back.

"Are you ready to go see Uncle Jose'? I ask Ted, giggling. Uncle Jose'…I wonder how Jose' will feel about this new term of endearment. He is one of my closes friends and I want my Ted to love him just as much as I do.


	91. Chapter 91

Jose' opens the rear door for me to exit the SUV once Sawyer has parked. His beaming smile mirrors my own. He is gorgeous as always in his dark jeans, light blue polo and brown boots. The colors only serve to highlight his black hair and deep chocolate eyes which are full or warmth and love. He is definitely more polished and grown up than he was just a year ago. I lean over and unbuckle Ted from his seat.

"Let me take your bags for you Ana." Jose' offers holding out a hand to me. I gratefully hand him my purse and Ted's bag before gathering Ted up in my arms and exiting the vehicle.

"Thank you Jose'. Travelling with Ted certainly adds more things for me to carry."

"I don't mind at all. Shall we?" He holds his hand out indicating for us to move towards the door.

"I'll be here waiting for you Mrs. Grey. Please let me know if you need anything."

I turn back to Sawyer, "I will, thank you Sawyer. Yes we shall, I am starving."

Jose' holds the bistro door open for Ted and I and he follows behind us.

The waitress shows us to a corner table and places our menus on the table. Jose' orders us both a glass of water with lemon to start with before the waitress departs.

"Jose' do you mind to hold Ted for me while I put my wrap on?"

"Ummmm…I've never really held a baby before Ana."

I smile at him reassuringly. "He won't break Jose'. Here, hold him like this, support his head." Jose' takes Ted a bit awkwardly into his arms but when Teddy flashes him his little baby grin I see my friend instantly melt.

"See? He likes you."

"Hey, look at him Ana. He's smiling at me! Hey there little buddy. I'm your Uncle Jose'."

I grin infectiously at Jose' and Ted. Uncle Jose', well that was easier than I thought it was going to be.

Once I have my wrap secured I take Ted from Jose's arms and cradle him against my body in my wrap. Jose' pulls my chair out for me and allows me to sit before taking a seat himself. The waitress reappears with our waters and gives us a few minutes to look over the menu before ordering. The bistro is quant and quiet. There are only a few coupling dotting the room. The pictures of the Tuscan countryside on the wall are breathtaking and I catch Jose' admiring them just as much as I am.

"I've always wanted to visit Tuscany." I tell him.

"Me too, and I may be getting the chance to do just that." He gives me a sideways smile, like he has something he is dying to share with me.

"Really?"

"After I was commissioned to do landscape portraits in Oregon the state of Washington asked me to do the same. Well, somehow my name and my work made its way up to the editors of Travel and Leisure Magazine and I've been hired by them as a photographer. I get to travel all around the world Ana taking pictures of faraway places I've only ever dreamed of visiting."

_Wow_…I am stunned by the amount of success my friend has gained in only a short amount of time. Not shocked though, Jose' has always been talented. I am so glad the right person has seen his work. He deserves everything, he has definitely earned it.

"Oh Jose' that is wonderful news! I am so happy for you. Have you been anywhere yet?"

"I've just been working here in the U.S. so far but on the fifteenth of this month I leave for Argentina."

"You are going to be a well-traveled bachelor my friend."

"Hopefully not a bachelor for long Ana. Things with Monica are…perfect. She transferred to WSU last August to finish her degree in journalism and we have been dating since the second semester began in January. She was hired on with Travel and Leisure too."

"So she will be going with you?"

"Yes. The editors were all too eager to assign us as partners on several future projects."

I'm speechless. Things are working out so well for my friend, more than well really. Jose' has earned this happiness and I am thrilled to see him having found his niche in the world.

The waitress reappears and takes our orders then leaves us once again. Our conversation shifts but flows effortlessly. We talk about Jose's work, he shares more with me about Monica and we talk about Kate and Elliot's wedding of course. Knowing that we three friends have found the courses life intended for us makes me happy and content. I think back to all of the times we spent studying, cramming for finals, gorging on Chinese take-out or pizza and hanging out at the library. Those were amazing times for me and I could not have picked better friends to have shared them with.

Before our meal comes Ted, who had fallen asleep for a little cat nap begins to fuss and I know he's hungry.

"Jose' I need to feed him." I begin to stand and excuse myself from the table. I don't want to make my friend uncomfortable by feeding Ted in front of him. I watch a look of confusion fall across Jose's face followed by realization.

"Ana please don't feel the need to leave. If you're comfortable with feeding him here…" He begins then trails off.

"Jose' I don't want to make you uncomfortable." I feel my face begin to flush.

"Nonsense Ana, don't worry about me. Feed your baby. Unless you'd feel uncomfortable. I certainly don't want to make you uncomfortable." His words are rushed and I see a blush creep across his cheeks too.

I laugh nervously and sit back down. "No it doesn't make me uncomfortable. Are you sure?"

"Yes, please Ana go ahead and do what you need to do."

I reach for Ted's bag beside me and take out my cover. I place it over my head shielding Ted from view I reach under, unbutton my dress and unsnap my nursing bra. Ted immediately latches on to eat his lunch. When I shift my eyes from Ted to look at Jose' he is distractedly checking an email on his phone, or just trying to look inconspicuous. I pick up my glass of water and take a sip just as the waitress brings out lunch to us. Jose' sets his phone aside and risks a glance at me.

"I'm sorry Ana. I hope I'm not being rude."

I reach my hand across the table and give his a slight squeeze. "You're fine Jose'. Let's eat our lunch."

Again I marvel out how things change, how much has changed in such a short amount of time. We never stop growing; things are always flux and constantly changing. But we change with them and our friendship grows, matures and amends itself.

*Thank you all for your kind and lovely reviews. I love reading them. I will be out of town for a few days so look for another update on Tuesday. My mind is creating scenes faster than I can write.*


	92. Chapter 92

Sawyer parks the SUV at the curb in front of Grey Enterprises to wait for Christian. I called him once we were finished having lunch with Jose' to tell him that Ted and I were on our way to pick him up from work. I wish lunch could have been longer, Jose' and I had a wonderful time but I always feel like it is never long enough. With his new job it will inevitably be a long time before we see each other again. Teddy became fuss though towards the end of lunch and his fussiness has not subsided.

"Daddy will be here soon Ted and then we will go home." I try to reassure Ted by touching his face and hands.

Ted only continues to gripe and cry which is very out of character for him. He is always a calm and happy baby. His behavior is beginning to concern me and I cannot help but wonder if something is wrong. Does he not feel well? Is he getting sick? I feel myself bite my bottom lip in contemplation and worry. I wish Christian would hurry up.

An unexpected knock my window startles me and I look anticipating seeing Christian standing beside the SUV. When I look no one is there but I shift my gaze slightly forward to catch the sight of someone walking away from the vehicle and my breath ceases…Williamson.

"Mrs. Grey, did that man just knock on your window?"

I manage to find my voice, "Sawyer that was him." I sputter out in shock. Driven by an unnamed emotion I find courage deep within me and feel myself grasping the handle on my door.

"Mrs. Grey stay in the car!" Sawyer commands.

"Stay with Ted Sawyer, lock the doors behind me." My voice is stern and I have made my decision.

I open my door and abruptly slam it behind me, leaving my crying Ted. My heart cringes and I almost choose to stay but I am done with letting this man terrify me.

"Williamson!" I shout out, calling to the retreating man who is walking so casually down the sidewalk. When he hears my voice he stops and turns to face me. I see a smug smirk spread across his face.

"Why Mrs. Grey…Ana…so lovely to see you again."

I move towards him with purpose, stalking with a firm gait.

"Cut the shit Williamson. I'm done with standing behind others and letting you have delusional thoughts about me. You are a stalker and you will leave me alone. Do I make myself clear?"

The shock on Mr. Williamson's face is evident as is the shock on the face of the passersby. Several people have stopped along the sidewalk and are watching the spectacle unfolding before them. The rain begins to fall again and starts to soak my face and clothes but I am relentless.

"This is a bit melodramatic isn't it Ana. If you don't want to be friends that is fine but this show you are giving is not necessary."

How dare he attempt to wave me off, making me looking like a raving fool? The rain is streaming down my face but I refuse to wipe it off.

"Melodramatic? You've stalked me! You've created a relationship in your mind that we never had! I'm not your victim Williamson. Stay away from me."

I turn on my heel to make my way back to the SUV. I'm sure Sawyer has called Christian by now and he will be here any second. When I turn I feel Williamson grab my arm and pull me into him.

"God you're even better when you're mad." He growls and leans down pressing his mouth to mine. I almost convulse and bite his lip hard while pushing him down to the ground.

"No!" I scream and in an instant I see Williamson being pulled backwards. My body wavers but I keep my footing. A policeman is slamming Mr. Williamson against the wall of the building we are standing next to.

"Hands on your head sir, now."

Williamson complies and the officer jerks his hands down from his head, placing them behind his back and cuffing him. He talks into his radio asking for a backup officer.

"This is all a big mistake…we were just talking."

"I heard the lady telling you no and I saw you assault her sir. I'd save my breath if I were you."

The officer turns his attention to me. "Are you okay ma'am?"

"Yes…yes sir." The turn of events has shaken me but I hold onto my resolve.

"ANA!" I hear Christian screaming behind me and turn. He is running through the rain and makes it to me in no time. Wrapping his arms around my soaked frame, I refuse to allow my body to go limp in his arms. _I am not weak and I will not be the victim. _I keep repeating the mantra over and over in my head.

"Is this your husband?" The officer asks me as Christian runs his hands over my arms and face.

"Yes, I am her husband." He answers the question before I have a chance too.

"Yes, officer he is."

"Ana, are you okay? God what were you thinking?" His voice begins to tremble and I see tears welling up inside his eyes.

A police cruiser pulls up alongside us and parks, leaving the spinning blue and red lights on before I can answer him. Another officer steps out and introduces himself to us as Officer Shaw.

Christian follows suit introducing first me, then him. The officer asks several questions. What happened, if I know the man who attacked me and if I would like to press charges? I quickly answer each question, telling him everything and let him know that yes I do want to press charges.

"We will also be filing a restraining order." Christian interjects firmly, still holding near him. I can feel his body trembling but he appears calm and in charge on the outside.

The officer holding Williamson accounts for what he witnessed which is surprisingly almost the entire scenario which played out between Williamson and I.

"Mrs. Grey I'll need you to come down to the station to make an official statement and fill out the necessary paperwork for the assault charges and the restraining order."

"Officer I would like to get my wife some dry clothes first."

"I understand." Shaw nods and along with the other officer they read Williamson his rights before putting him in the rear of the squad car. Strangely Williamson was quiet and cool throughout the entire ordeal with the police. It's almost eerie to me, like he's been through this before. He flashes an almost evil grin through the rear windshield of the cruiser as they pull into traffic.

Before I know it Christian is bending to gather me in his arms. I want to protest that I can walk but I don't. _Let him do this_, my subconscious whispers. She gives me a quiet high five for standing up to Williamson.

He opens the rear door of the SUV and gently places me in. Ted is still screaming and that is when tears find me. I watch Christian dart through the summer downpour to the other side of the vehicle and get in.

"To Escala please Sawyer."

"Yes Mr. Grey."

"It's okay Ted…baby Mommy's here." I coo to Ted trying to calm him with no avail.

Christian takes Ted's hand in his and I see a single tear trickle down his face. My hand finds his as he grips our son's hand.

"I'm here Christian." I offer soothingly.

"Ana, you should have been here." He says wearily.

"I can't let that man keep doing this to me Christian. I was done with it. I had to do something."

He nods. "I know that Ana and baby I'm proud of you but it just brings a flood of memories back to me Ana and I can't help it."

I know what he's reliving and a part of me is reliving that same nightmare as well. I continue to caress his hand reassuringly as Sawyer drives us to Escala for dry clothes.


	93. Chapter 93

We arrive at Escala, under much different circumstances than the last time we were here just a few weeks ago. Without uttering a word to me Christian quickly opens his door then leans in to take Ted's seat from its base. I open my own door and grab the bags from the floor and dart towards the front doors.

"Sawyer, I'd like to speak with you in my study as soon as you are finished parking the car." I hear Christian speak, his words are a command but the blow is softened by his weary nature.

The elevator doors close and I watch Christian punch in the key code for our penthouse. Instinctively I wipe my lips as the thought of Williamson's lips touching mine enters my mind. I quickly try to block out the horrendous musing and focus on something else. Ted's cries have toned down but he is still unhappy. The sounds of his whimpers fill the confined space. Adding to the distressed temperament that hangs in the air like a thick cloud. I risk a glance in my husband's direction and see him standing, holding his son's carrier while his body shudders. I entertain the thought that he must be as cold as I am from the drenching rain but deep down my subconscious knows that his trembling is caused by much more.

The doors open and I follow him through the foyer and into our apartment. He sets Ted's carrier on the bar and immediately begins unfastening his restraints.

"Unbutton your dress Anastasia, you need to feed him." He instructs without looking my way.

"I nursed him just over an hour ago Christian, he's just fussy. Here let me hold him." I step forward holding my arms out when Christian's eyes find mine. They are cold steel gray.

"You were at lunch over an hour ago."

"Yes…"

"You nursed him while at lunch, at the table, with Jose'…" He's not asking a question, he is stating a fact, many facts to himself at once. It's like he is putting together pieces of a puzzle.

"Christian I have nursed him in front of your father and your brother. I was covered. Please know that there was nothing wrong. Jose' was very respectful."

"Fine, this isn't even about Jose'." He says shaking his head petulantly. "This is about you leaving our son to go after a man who has been stalking you. You left our son crying in the back of the car."

"He was with Sawyer…"

"I don't fucking care Anastasia!" I blanch and Ted begins to wail. "Feed him now Ana. I need a moment. I need to get away and think because right now I can't. I can't think." Handing Ted over to me he stalks out of the kitchen and I hear the door to his study slam. Ted's body startles at the sudden noise as does mine.

_Give him time_, my subconscious commands sternly, h_e is scared and needs time_. I can give him that. I am scared too though. I choose to put my needs away and tend to my baby.

I sling Ted's bag over my shoulder and carry him into our bedroom. Gently I lay him on the bed and change his diaper before slipping out of my soaking wet clothes. I leave them in a heap on the floor and rummage quickly through the drawers finding a dry bra, panties, yoga pants and a t-shirt. It's not much but it will have to do. Before putting on the bra and top I climb on the bed beside Ted and lift him into my arms.

"Are you hungry my boy?" I ask him and attempt to persuade him to nurse. Quickly he latches to my nipple. I'm not sure how hungry he is but even if he is using my body to calm himself that is okay. And it does calm him. In moments the only remnants of his fit are a few lingering tears and red blotches on his face. His breathing relaxes and his eyes close. I sense the harmony that Ted is feeling pass from him to me.

"Mommy is so sorry she left you baby boy." I cradle him and begin to hum a lullaby to him. My emotions feel numb as I rock slowly, back and forth, sitting in the middle of Christian and I's bed. I don't regret standing up to Williamson. If I hadn't made the decision I made I have no doubt in my mind that he would have continued to harass and terrify me. It had to stop somehow and at some time. I am glad that time was today. I am tired of looking over my shoulder. Wondering when the next time he is going to show up will be. I can't live like that. I refuse to live like that. I only pray and wish that Christian will see that and understand where I am coming from. Right now he is blinded by fear. The fear that something might have happened to me coupled with him losing me as well as Ted losing me, his mother.

I sit with Ted and he nurses until my right breast is empty. I burp him then shift him to my left breast, allowing him to feed again if he is still hungry. He latches on sleepily and eats for a few more minutes before drifting off to sleep completely. Thank God he is quiet and happy now. Seeing him distressed is so hard. It tears at my insides in a way that I have never thought possible.

I am still sitting in the center of the bed when Christian comes through the doorway. He just stands there for an endless amount of time, staring at the sight before him, soaking in the fact that I am here with him and our son. His eyes are serener now, pools of somber ashen gray. Silently he pads over to me and before I can think another thought he bends down and takes my face in his hands, placing one hand on each of my cheeks. He presses his lips to mine, kissing me intensely…softly…deeply. I immerse myself into his kiss, allowing it to bathe away the feeling of Williamson's lips on mine. Silently I beg Christian to saturate me with himself, leaving no trace of the unwanted touch I felt from that man.

When he breaks the kiss he kicks off his shoes and discards wet clothes to the floor before crawling into the bed with me. He pulls my body against his, lifting me into his lap, and then reaches for the blanket at the foot of the bed he wraps it around us like a protective shell. It is sheathing us in its warmth and shelter. I allow myself to lean back against him and feel his skin against mine, reveling in this tender moment, and the calm after the storm.

"I have spoken with Detective James at the precinct. He has apparently been working the case on Williamson for quite a while now."

I swallow, processing his words and what they mean.

"When Shaw and the other officer brought him apparently the detective was thrilled to finally have Mr. Williamson in police custody. There was a warrant for his arrest out. He was charged with domestic violence against his wife. Apparently there are several other restraining orders as well. All filed by women he has worked with. Welch found that out this afternoon, I had him look into it after the man accosted you this weekend." Christian pauses before continuing. "I let my guard down Ana and I failed. I had security on you and I thought that was enough…"

"Christian, it was enough. I was the one that chose to confront him. I had to Christian. I couldn't keep living with that man harassing me." I tell him, keeping my voice low as not to wake the sleeping angel in my arms. "You always protect me Christian, never doubt yourself."

"When I saw you on the sidewalk, the police, that man and I could hear Ted crying in the car. When Sawyer called me and told me what you had done and he felt so helpless Ana because he could not leave Ted, he would not leave Ted. You put him in an awful position Anastasia."

I hang my head down. My heart cinches for Sawyer, I know what Christian is saying is the truth.

"I know Christian, I know."

"Ana…" His voice breaks on my name and he wraps his arms tighter around me. I feel sobs racking his body as the dam breaks. "I'm so proud of you Ana for standing up for yourself but…"

"Shhhhh…I'm here Christian. I'm never going anywhere. I've got you both. You've got us both. Shhhh…."

We sit like this for an hour I know. Slowly, just like his son's did, Christian's sobbing subsides. Knowing the degree of worry and pain I caused him is agonizing but at the same time hearing that what I did brought Williamson in causes a surge of vindication to flood through my veins. This man is not a good person in any way, shape or form. He hurt his wife and harassed countless other women. I am no longer the victim. It's as if one thousand pounds have been lifted from my shoulders.

"Ted is okay?" Christian's words break the stillness of the room.

"Yes. He nursed and fell asleep right after."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you Ana. I'm so sorry I yelled in front of Ted. I never want to scare him like that. I know I scared him Ana."

I lay Ted down gingerly on the bed next to me before shifting my body to face Christian. This time I take his face between my hands. Stroking his cheeks with my thumbs I try to comfort him.

"You are only human Christian. Ted will grow to understand that. You will make mistakes, we both will. What is important is for Ted to see us admit our mistakes and apologize to each other. He needs to know that even after we fight or disagree we still love one another and nothing will ever break us apart."

I brush my lips against his and bask in the heat radiating between our bodies. His hands move up and down my back as he cherishes me with his kiss, our kiss.

"I love you Ana."

"I love you." I smile slightly against his mouth. "Let's get dressed in some dry clothes, go do what we have to do and then take our son home Mr. Grey."

"Home, it sounds good to me."


	94. Chapter 94

***Opinions...I am getting ready to wrap up my story. I plan to continue writing, moving forward to Ted's first Christmas at 6 months of age. Him crawling and such...After that I will approach his first birthday, them going to visit Christian's mother's grave and chasing fireflies in the meadow once Ted is walking. My question is this...Should I continue writing in this story or start another one? Thoughts? I intend to actually go back and rework some of this one and host it on my own site eventually but that will take some time. When I do though I will let you know and I would love for you to read it there b/c somethings may change/become more detailed as I feel that my writing and grown and gotten better and better as time has gone by.***

**On with the chapter**

**Detective James holds open** a wooden door with a large window at the top. With his hand he motions for Christian and I to enter the room.

"Please have a seat Mr. and Mrs. Grey." He says pulling out one of the hard wood chairs for me. We sit at the large rectangular table; it is the same dull auburn colored wood as the chairs and the door. Even though Ted is held securely against my body in my wrap sleeping, I still have my arms cradled around him. Christian sits in the chair beside me but before he does he scoots it so that he is sitting very near to Ted and I. He places his arm around my back protectively before giving the detective his attention.

"Would either of you like a bottle of water?" The Detective motions to a tray in the center of the table which holds several waters.

"No thank you." I say softly. This entire circumstance has my stomach in knots. I know I'm not in trouble but somehow being in a police station is giving me a topsy turvy feeling inside. There is a knock at the door and Officer Shaw, the officer from the scene earlier today, walks in.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey," he nods politely before taking a seat across the table from us.

"Well, now that everyone is here shall we begin?"

I nod yes and Christian speaks up telling the detective we are ready. Detective James asks me to first recount the situation today as it unfolding from beginning to end. I swallow back the lump in my throat and begin with the moment Mr. Williamson knocked on the window of the Audi SUV and continue my story from there. I watch the detective's deadpan expression as he listens, taking notes and nodding while I speak. He gives away nothing as his face remains impassive. I feel Christian's thumb rubbing my back through my navy blue hooded jacket. That simple contact helps me find the courage to tell my side of the story. I am sure that whatever report Mr. Williamson gave was either full of half-truths or was just an entirely flat out lie.

After I am finished telling my story the detective thanks me and stands, signaling that the inquisition is over for now. A light tap at the door catches my attention and I look to see a young blonde woman standing on the other side of the door. Shaw and James exchange a questioning glance before James walks over to the door and opens it. I listen intently to hear the young woman's words to the detective.

"I know I have no place here right now detective but please, if I may speak with her for just a moment."

He murmurs something to the woman before closing the door and walking over to me. She remains standing at the door, chewing on her lip anxiously.

"Mrs. Grey, Mrs. Williamson is here and she would like to speak with you."

I feel Christian bristling beside me but I place my hand on his knee and look up into his eyes pleading with him to understand my words. "Christian, it's okay, I will speak with her." He opens his mouth to speak but closes it, choosing to say nothing.

The detective opens the door once more and the petite woman with lackluster blonde hair follows him in the room. She is wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt. Her hair is pulled back into a pony tail. She is attractive but looks as though she has been trampled by life.

"Thank you for seeing me…" She begins and I push my chair back to stand.

"Ana, you can call me Ana. And your name is?" I offer a hand to her and she takes it, shaking my hand gently. I keep my other hand firmly on Ted's back.

"Melanie," she almost smiles.

"What is it that you wanted to see me about?"

"I just wanted to thank you for what you did. It helped the police find Michael, and he needed to be found…He wasn't always this way. When we first married five years ago he was not the man he is today." She begins speaking and my heart aches for this woman. Despite everything Michael Williamson is her husband and they share a life together. "Our first years of marriage were heavenly…but after I lost our baby something clicked inside of him. It was like he stopped loving me, he resented me and wanted to replace me with whichever woman he could find. At first I didn't want to believe it. A few women at his job filed against him for harassment at work. He quite that job and then began working at L&E, months went by and things seemed to be getting better but then history began to repeat itself. When I confronted him he became violent with me. I finally found the courage about a month ago to leave him and file for first a restraining order then divorce. He found me living at my sisters and attacked me again, this time a warrant was put out for his arrest for domestic violence charges. He constantly eluded me and the police. If it hadn't been for what you chose to do today I don't know when or if he would have ever been caught…Mrs. Grey…Ana, I can't thank you enough."

Christian, who is now standing beside me, draws me nearer to his side, almost squeezing my body. No doubt he is as affected by Melanie's story as I am. I have a hard time finding words to give her. This poor broken woman has been through hell.

"I…I don't know what to say."

She half smiles again. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to meet you face to face and thank the woman who found the courage to confront Michael Williamson much sooner than I found mine. I pray that he can now get the help that he needs so he can find some semblance of life. I am cutting my ties with him and working to rebuild my life for me."

"We wish you all the best Mrs. Williamson." Christian speaks up, clearing his throat first and offers his hand out to Melanie. She gratefully takes it and shakes it gently, just as she did mine. "Thank you Mr. Grey."

With that she turns to the detective. "Thank you Detective James."

"We'll be in touch with you Mrs. Williamson. Please rest assured that you are safe now."

She nods and smiles once more before walking out of the room.


	95. Chapter 95

**Thank you for all of your input on my question. I have decided to start another story when I finish this one. It will be called Fifty Shades Complete Part 2. It will start with Ted at 6 months of age, right around Thanksgiving when her Mom and Bob are moving to Las Vegas and Mia and Ethan are planning their wedding. I also plan to have Ana and Christian visit his birthmother's grave in the new story as well.

***I have begun editting the chapters I have already written, the first one is done. I have added a few scenes and combined chapters to make them longer, actual chapter length. When I have my site up with the entire first story on it I will let you all know. Until then keep enjoying this one, I have just a few chapters left to write. Thank you all for reading!***

**I am contemplatively quiet** on our drive home, as is Christian. We are both cloaked in our silences as we sit in the backseat of the SUV. Each of us is holding one of Ted's hands while he sleeps in the middle. Seeing Mr. Williamson's wife and hearing her story has given us both a great deal to think about. Listening to how her hopes and dreams of a happily married life came crashing down around her so suddenly was gut wrenching and sobering. You never know what makes a person tick or what is going on behind closed doors. Just thinking about what she has had to endure breaks my heart for her all over again.

"That will never be us Ana." Christian interrupts my thoughts.

I shift my gaze from the window to stare deep into the depths of his soul. "I know Christian." I want him to believe me. I have no fear of losing him now.

"You have never been just enough for me Ana. You are for me, we are forever." I relinquish my grasp from Ted's tiny hand to place it over his.

"I know." I tell him earnestly. Any doubt I ever held has been eradicated for what seems like eons now.

"I don't ever want to not tell you that enough. I want you to always know I love you."

Once more I move my hand, this time to cup his dear sweet face. Following my lead he leans over our sleeping baby and we kiss. I linger a moment longer than necessary, not wanting to let go of the taste of him.

"Forever Christian."

**I drag my weary** body from the SUV when we drive up to our house. I am happy to put the second half of this day behind me. Thinking that just this morning I dropped Mom and Bob off at the airport and then had lunch with Jose' boggles my mind. It feels like those things happened ages ago, they have all been shadowed by the events that unfolded for the remainder of the day. Gail meets us in the foyer as we enter the front door. Her eyes fill with concern when she observes my down trodden state.

"Mrs. Grey, shall I take Ted for you?"

"Yes, thank you Gail. Would you give him a bottle please and is dinner ready?"

"Yes ma'am, I have shepard's pie set for you both at the kitchen table."

My stomach grumbles stressing my hunger to me. Gail takes Ted's carrier from Christian's hand and retreats upstairs.

"Let's get you fed Mommy." Christian tells me, turning from hanging our bags in the coat closet. He pulls me towards him and we walk in unison to the kitchen.

The individual shepard's pies smell inviting and full of comfort. Gail always sets a beautiful table, taking care to make dinner a special event for Christian and I every night. He pulls my chair, allowing me to sit first.

"Wine Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes, red please."

A glass of wine is a welcome idea and since Ted is having a bottle I more than gladly accept the offer. I watch Christian take two wine glasses from the cabinet and fill them with crisp, cool red wine from the wine chiller. Taking one in each hand he walks over to the table places mine in my hand before sitting down.

"To us Mrs. Grey and our beautiful son."

We clink glasses and I drink an appreciative sip. The sweet crimson liquid slides smoothly down my throat. This wine is especially fruity and delectable. I pick up my fork and pierce the crispy cheese coated potatoes adorning the top of the pies first, then dig deeper for the lamb and vegetables. Closing my eyes I savor the first bite of delicious food. _Hmmmmm…._

"This is amazing Christian."

He grins infectiously at me. I want to shake my head but I don't. Sharing a meal with me has always been special to him.

"Eat up baby, we've had quite the afternoon and I know you must be starving."

We eat in pleasant quietness, enjoying each other's company. Christian offers to fill my wine glass once the last drop of my wine is gone but I decline. I am sure Ted will wake in the night for a feeding and I want to be able to nurse him since I know Christian will go back to work tomorrow. I wonder if I will have to do anything else where the Williamson case is concerned. I am hopeful that I can put it all in the past now and not deal with it anymore. Curiosity still lingers though, making me ponder what Mr. Williamson stated as his side of the story when I filed the report and pressed charges against him. My expression must giveaway my contemplations because Christian is observing me intently.

"What are thinking so hard about?"

"I was just speculating about what Mr. Williamson may have put in his statement."

"Hmmm…" He picks at a pea with his fork before continuing his thought. "Well if you'd like to know you won't have to wonder long. Once we are finished eating I plan to call Welch and inform him of the day's developments. I plan to ask him to investigate about Williamson's statement. I will leave no stone unturned when it comes to this twisted man Anastasia. I want to know exactly what we are dealing with incase he chooses to rear his ugly head again in the future."

Christian always has had an eye for detail and he never lets anyone have the upper hand over him. I am not surprised by the plan of action he is taking.

"I doubt he shows his face again Christian. I believe this is all behind us now."

"I feel the same Ana but still, I like to always be prepared for any unlikely event."

I cannot argue with his logic nor do I want to. The more knowledge with have the better off we are. I just do not ever want to need to use it.

Together we load the dishwasher and tidy up the kitchen when we are finished eating. Christian goes to his office for a few moments to speak with Welch so I decide to call Mom to make sure she and Bob got home alright. Ray called my cell earlier and left a message but I will call him back tomorrow. Ray has always been an early to bed man and I don't want to wake him.

My conversation with Mom is brief because she is tired from the flight back home. The time change between Seattle and Savannah always takes a toll on me so I understand completely. She tells me that the flight was good though and that she misses Ted and I already. I quickly tell her about Jose' and I's lunch. She is thrilled to hear about his new job and how well he and Monica are doing. I would like to get to know Monica better whenever she and Jose' are back in town again. I elect to leave out the part of the day where I was stalked and spent the afternoon in the police station filing a report. That is another story for another time. I am not ready to relive the episode yet. We say our goodbyes and she tells me to kiss Ted for her. I promise that I will have her call him soon and then we hang up.

Drained I tow myself upstairs and find Gail readying Teddy for his nighttime bath. She has filled his tub and has him lying on a towel on the large countertop beside his sink. His perky gray eyes find me the moment I enter the room. It's like he can sense my presence. He always finds me right away.

"Is that your Mommy Teddy? Tell Mommy that we were just about to have our bath. You made quite a mess of yourself with your bottle didn't you young man?"

"Were you a little piggy big boy?" Standing over Ted I cannot help my grin and he answers back with a squeal.

"Would you like to bathe him Ana?"

"Yes, I've got him. You go ahead and take off for the night Gail. Thank you for dinner and for watching Ted."

She touches my arm sensing my trepidation and fatigue. "Are you sure you're okay dear? I can take care of him if you'd like to go have a bath and turn in for the night."

I smile thankfully but decline. "I'm sure. Taylor should be home soon, you go ahead." She almost blushes as she thanks me and tells Teddy that she will see him in the morning.

I take Ted's diaper off and pick up his tiny naked body. I am careful to put a towel between us though. Teddy is quite the little sprinkler sometimes. I giggle at the thought of how he got Christian when we first brought him home. Christian has been much more mindful of having a new diaper ready before taking off the old one since then. I place him gently in his tub and using his washcloth I cleanse him with the warm water. He kicks his legs, straining them outwards, trying to build up his muscles. I know for now his involuntary movements are jerky but they have purpose. Soon they will help him to roll over, sit up and eventually crawl then walk. Washing his head I notice how his fine brown baby hair seems to be getting lighter. A hint of copper colored red is beginning to show. I smile, just like his daddy in every way.

I rinse the soap from his body and reach for his towel. I embrace him in the soft warmth and carry him to his room to find a pair of his footed pajamas.

"Would you like to wear your cars tonight Teddy?" I ask him holding up his white pajamas adorned with tiny green cars. He coos before he yawns big. I pick up his bottle of bedtime lotion and squeeze some in my palm. Rubbing my hands together I warm them and begin to massage his baby body. His eyelids droop and I know he is falling fast asleep. Carefully I slip the clothing under his body before covering his feet and pulling his arms through the holes.

"Let Mommy button you up and then it's bedtime for you little man."

When the last button is fastened I lift him, careful not to wake him and place him in his crib. This tiny little boy has captured my heart and for the rest of my life a large piece of it will belong to only him.


	96. Chapter 96

**Strong arms encompass me** and I feel warm breath on my neck. I want to open my eyes but they are so heavy that they resist. My body feels like it weighs a ton and limbs are leaden. Sluggishly I try to reposition my tingling arm from under my head.

"Shhhh…baby…shhhhhh…" Christian soothes me while pulling a quilt from the bottom of our bed to cover me. I remember lying down on the bed to wait for him, I must have fallen asleep. Indolently the thought that I am still dressed in my clothes passes through my mind. I need to at least take them off and slip into a t-shirt but I can hardly move.

"I waited for you." I tell him half consciously through the midst of a yawn.

"I'm sorry I took so long."

"What did Welch say?"

"We can talk about it tomorrow Ana. Sleep now my sweet girl."

He combs his long fingers through my hair lulling me back to sleep. I wonder if Welch was able to find out what the other report had in it. I lack the strength to ask though and give in to my closing eyes. Without any energy to fight slumber I allow myself to succumb to it.

The red numbers on my clock tell me it is two in the morning when I finally unseal my eyes. I feel like I have been asleep all night, probably because I went to sleep so early. I take stock of my appearance and remember falling asleep dressed. Christian is wrapped around my body like ribbon on a spool. He is still dressed in his clothes as well. I'm not sure what stirred me from sleep until I hear the crying from the monitor beside my bed. Ted is awake and probably needs to be changed and fed. The quilt from the foot of the bed is covers us loosely and I attempt to untangle myself from it and Christian. I feel him rouse next to me before his husky voice meets my ears.

"What is it Ana?"

"Ted, he's awake."

"I can go fix his bottle, you go back to sleep."

As enticing as that sounds my breasts are full and uncomfortable because I fell asleep without pumping.

"I need to nurse him Christian, I'm uncomfortable." He unwinds his body from mine slowly and I struggle to sit up.

"Okay baby, I'll go get him."

While Christian is gone I take the chance to slip out of my yoga pants and t-shirt. In the bathroom I wash my face and brush my teeth. I definitely look like a woman who fell asleep in her clothes suffering from exhaustion. With my brush I comb my mess of hair back into a pony tail before grabbing one of Christian's t-shirts from the dresser to slip on after I feed Ted. Just as I sit back down on the bed I hear Ted fussing on his way down the hall in his father's arms. My swollen breasts react to my baby's cries immediately. I definitely need to nurse him.

"Here you go son, Mommy's ready to feed you."

Christian places Ted in my arms and gently guides him to my nipple. Ted begins to suckle and as soon as I feel my milk let down for him relief takes over my body. I look up to see Christian watching me with the same look of adoration which always adorns his beautiful face at the sight of me feeding Ted. There is an unnamed emotion resisting to surface on his face though. I know, I can see he is hiding something from me. He closes his eyes though and shakes his head to whisk it away.

"I'll be right back baby." He tells me before going into the bathroom.

I hear the sink turn on, I assume he is brushing his teeth as well. A few moments later the door opens and he emerges wearing his pajama pants. He takes his seat on the bed beside us and draws me to his side.

"What's bothering you Christian?"

"Nothing why?"

"I can see it Christian. I know there is something you are not telling me. What did Welch say?"

"Ana we can talk about it in the morning. Let's just feed Ted so we can go back to sleep."

It's obvious something has happened which he is not willing to tell me. I won't let him put the shudders back up again. I refuse to allow him to take this entire burden on himself and leave me in the dark. We are married. We are partners. We promised we would talk to each other and never keep secrets and I intend to hold him to those promises.

"I can give you tonight Christian but tomorrow you have to talk to me. You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your own. It is far to taxing on you. I am here for you, please don't shut me out."

He sighs deeply. I feel his chest move with the rhythmic motion of his breathing. "I know Ana. I'm just trying to sort things out. Tomorrow, I promise. Just give me tonight to be with you and our son without thinking about what Welch said."

"Okay." I can do that. I need time away from what happened too. Remembering that man's mouth on mine brings a shudder through my body, drawing goose pimples on my skin.

"Baby what is it? You're shivering. Are you cold?"

Ted releases my nipple and moves his head away. "Are you ready to be burped?" I ask him lifting him to my shoulder. "Christian I need a blanket from under his bassinet."

He fetches the blanket for me and puts it over my shoulder. Ted supports his chin on it and I begin the pattern of rub, pat, pat, urging a burp from him. Right on cue after the third pattern repeat a little burp escapes from his lips. "Good burp little man. Do you want more to eat?" I shift him in my arms to my other breast and he latches on. Christian is watching me wearily, waiting for me to answer his question.

"He kissed me Christian." I finally blurt it out. "He tried to. I bit his lip."

I see Christian's hands flex into tight fists. Oh no.

"What?" He whispers. "You didn't tell the police that."

"I did, I wrote it in the report I filled out."

"You didn't tell me Ana…" I expected anger to be his reaction and initially I know it was but now I hear distress in his voice.

"I didn't know how to Christian. I was scared and ashamed. I never wanted anyone to kiss me but you." I feel a release finally getting these words out. They have been pent up inside of me all day. Gnawing at my insides, desperately trying to find their way out but the right moment never seemed to present itself.

"Ana, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It was him. I could…"

"Don't Christian. Don't let him control us anymore than he already has. He's not worth it."

"But you are my wife and he violated you. He touched you."

I take in a deep breath before choosing my next words. "Only we can decide if we continue to give him power Christian. I don't want to think about what he did I want to think about what I did. I took control and now he has been put away. I want you to wipe away his touch. Wipe away the memory of his lips on mine."

In the darkness I hear his intake of air and sense his body moving around until he is facing me on his knees. "My beautiful, brave Ana." He murmurs against my mouth, cradling my cheeks in his hands. With Ted nursing at my breast between us he takes my lips with his. Kneading them, caressing them with his tongue. His kiss is a kiss of devotion. With one arm still holding Ted I reach up to caress his beloved face. I feel moisture on his cheeks from shed tears. This knowledge only makes me kiss him harder. I let my tongue stroke his repeatedly. Tasting the delicious mint flavor of his mouth and pouring as much passion into him as he is pouring into me.

"This is all I need Christian. You here with me, loving me, this is all I need." I whisper to him.


	97. Chapter 97

*Sorry this took a few days. I have been busy editting and getting ready to put the story on its own site. I am excited for you all to read it over there. The chapters have been combined so that they are MUCH longer and I have already added a few new scenes. Now I just need my husband to get the site up and running! He's working on it but not fast enough for me ;) *

***On with the story***

** The hum of sweet** words and the sound of gentle suckling wake me the next morning. Opening my eyes I see Christian lying on his side facing me. Ted is between us, propped slightly on a pillow, and is nursing the bottle his daddy is holding for him. The strong daylight pouring through the room makes me realize it is much later than I usually wake.

When Christian's eyes meet mine he smiles. "Good morning Mommy."

"Good morning Daddy. Good morning Ted." I run a finger down Ted's cheek and he sighs but continues to devour his breakfast. Nothing could come between my little boy and his food. "What time do you have to be in to work today?"

A brief frown furrows Christian's brows. "I'm not going to work today Ana. I've told Ros and Andrea that I'm staying home with you and Ted."

"Christian, there is no need for that. We're fine here, Gail is with us." I attempt to encourage him. He's missed so much time at work lately due to Ted being born, our anniversary trip and Kate's wedding. I'm sure Ros and Andrea need him at work.

"Ana, I'm staying here with you two. After what happened yesterday I can't stand the thought of being away from you." He is very insistent.

I reach my hand out for his arm and rub it soothingly. "It was awful, I know, but we can't let it dictate our lives, remember?"

He casts his eyes downward, focusing on Ted for a few contemplative moments. "I'm not allowing anything to dictate my life Anastasia. I want to be at home with my wife and my son. My job allows me that luxury and I intend to take advantage of it. Anything that requires me to be there can wait. You two are the most important people in my life, you both come first."

I can see that I'm not changing his mind; he is indisputable on this subject. I choose to switch my approach with him. If he wants to stay with us then we need to get out of the house instead of staying home and allowing what happened yesterday to simmer in our minds.

"What would like to do today then? The weather is beautiful. Let's get away and go somewhere, just the three of us."

He looks back up at me and his gray eyes are now full of happiness. "Where would you like to go?"

"I don't know, not somewhere too far, just a little getaway." I ponder for a few minutes before coming up with the perfect idea. "Let's drive down to Olympia and go to Tumwater Falls. I haven't been there since Kate and I first started college and I remember it was absolutely breathtaking. It's only about an hour away."

A smile spreads across his face and he nods his head. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. I'll ask Gail to pack us a picnic lunch and have Taylor bring the SUV around."

Ted finishes up his bottle and Christian burps him while I climb out of bed and go have a shower. I choose jeans, a light blue t-shirt and my converses to wear. It will be a casual day of being outside, enjoying nature and the beautiful late summer weather. Once my hair is dry and pulled back into a pony tail I take Ted from Christian so that he can shower and dress as well.

Teddy plays on is floor mat near me in the nursery while I pack his bag for the day. He is already dressed in his gray, blue and green striped jumper. I love how the playful bright colors bring out his eyes and rosy complexion.

"Are you ready to go on your first road trip little man? Mommy and Daddy are going to take you to see waterfalls." Teddy squeals with delight at the sound of my voice while I pack several extra jumpers, diapers, wipes, burp cloths, blankets and an extra pacifier. I zip up his backpack and leave it on his changing table. Bending down I scoop him up in my arms before reaching for the back and slinging it over my shoulder.

"All packed and ready to go, let's go find Daddy."

"Here's your picnic lunch Mr. Grey and Taylor has pulled the car around for you."

"Thank you Mrs. Jones." Christian says taking the cooler from Gail's hands. "Shall we Mrs. Grey?"

"We shall Mr. Grey." Teddy and I follow Christian out to the car and soon we are all packed in and ready to begin our adventure. I cannot shake my infectiously good mood; a permanent smile seems to be plastered across my face. Before starting the car Christian glances in my direction.

"Happy?"

"So happy."

He turns the key into the ignition and puts the gear shift into drive. We drive down our tree lined drive and through the large white gates. Today is just what we need to move past the negativity of yesterday.

About an hour later we are driving through the small town of Tumwater. The historic homes are breathtaking, just as I remember. I love the Victorian style homes, they are so detailed and delicate they remind me of picture-perfect gingerbread houses. We pass the old brewery. I recall coming here with Ethan and him giving Kate and I an entire history lesson on the town as well as the brewery.

"Have you ever been here?" I ask Christian as I take in the sights.

"I've only ever passed through, I never stopped." He pauses before speaking again. "I never stopped much at all until I met you Ana. There was nothing worth really taking the time to enjoy until you. You have shown me life. You have opened the world to me and made it worth experiencing."

His admission leaves me momentarily speechless; I often feel the same way. Are all couples like that? If a person is fortunate enough to find their soul mate, that one person made for them, do they start really seeing the world once they have their other half to share it with? I have no idea if it is like that for everyone but I know for Christian and I it is.

We arrive at the falls and Christian parks the SUV in the designated parking area. Ted is fast asleep in his car seat, his tiny eyes closed peacefully. I know he will be waking up to eat soon though. Christian unloads our cooler, Ted's bag and our tartan blanket from the trunk while I put on my wrap and lift my sleeping baby from his seat to snuggle him against me. The sun is intense and I can't help but giggle when he scrunches his eyes against its brightness. His little flustered face reminds me very much of how expressive his daddy's facial expressions can be too.

Together we walk to a shaded area near the arch shaped bridge which crosses over Deschutes River. Majestic Weeping Willows frame either end of the bridge. Their deep green leaves shining in the sun. Christian spreads the blanket out and holds out his hand, helping me to sit down gingerly as not to wake our sleeping son. I inhale, breathing in the clean fresh air. It smells heavenly. At that moment I decide that we will bring Ted back here to play when he is big enough. I know he will love running through the lush emerald colored grass, seeing water and feeding the many ducks which swim and waddle around the park. I smile at the movie of the future playing through my mind.

"What are you thinking about Mrs. Grey?" Christian asks bringing me back to the present.

"I'm thinking about how much Ted will love feeding the ducks when he gets bigger."

He laughs warmly, "Yes, I'm sure he will."

I take another deep breath before reaching to untie my shoes. I want to feel the warm sun on my feet.

"Here let me." Christian offers taking my foot. He slips one converse off, then the other before tucking my socks inside of them. I watch as he removes his own socks and shoes next then moves his feet off the edge of the blanket, wriggling his toes in the soft grass. I grin at his boyish behavior. Seeing him like this only makes me love him even more than I already do.


	98. Chapter 98

In the shelter of abundant shade provided by the trees I lift Ted from my wrap and lie him down on one of his coverlets which Christian has placed on top of the blanket. His sensitive baby skin is protected from the sun here, allowing him to sleep more restfully away from my body heat. While I am busy situating Ted Christian unpacks the sumptuous picnic lunch Gail has prepared for us consisting of grilled salmon sandwiches, corn salad, lemon cake with fresh blueberries and sparking waters with fruit juice to drink. Lastly he takes out two plates, two napkins and two sets of silverware. Mrs. Jones definitely knows how to pack a picnic basket. I must remember to thank her. He fills my plate with a sandwich, salad and dessert and hands it to me before preparing his own.

"Mmmmmm…" I say chewing my first bite of sandwich. "Every time I think she has cooked her best for us she proves me wrong and out does herself yet again."

Christian chuckles, "If I hadn't found Gail I would have starved to death or just lived off of takeout until I found you."

"You would have learned how to cook eventually."

"I doubt it Mrs. Grey," he smirks. "Eggs and toast is about as fancy as I get in the kitchen, outside of using the microwave."

"Well lucky for you, you have me."

"Yes, very lucky for me." He leans over and plants a kiss on my lips. "Sweet," he whispers.

"It's the cake." I whisper back.

"No, it's always you." I feel the familiar drop in my belly at his words. Desire and yearning unfold deep inside of me. My passionate devotion for Christian will always here be unwavering, as constant as the changing seasons or the circadian turn from night to day.

When Ted begins to awaken Christian puts away our lunch while I pick Ted up and drape his coverlet over myself, granting him the ability to nurse. A few other families are picnicking around the park. The laughter of children floats through the air as they run, play and feed the ducks. The day is made up of nothing less than perfection and I bask in the splendor of it. Ted finishes and I burp him before handing him to his Daddy. Christian sits him up, cradling him in the crook of his arm and allows him to see the scene before him. Ted blinks his eyes attempting to focus on all of the wonderful sights.

"Do you see the duckies son?" He asks him, Teddy only blows bubbles on his lips and gives Christian a tiny crooked smile. I grin in delight at the interaction between the two of them.

"Would you like to take a walk?" Christian asks turning to me.

"I would love to." I tell him reaching for my socks and shoes.

"Here, would you hold him then? I'll put your wrap on and carry him." I take Ted from his arms wait for Christian to secure the wrap around himself before slipping on his shoes. Once return Ted to his arms he patiently places him snuggly in the wrap while I put my shoes on. Christian holds a hand down to me, helping me to stand. He keeps my hand in his as we walk along the river to cross the wooden bridge, joining the other families who are enjoying some of nature's finest scenery.

Crossing over the river we gaze upstream. The water flows and rushes over large round boulders causing frothy white foam to form amongst the rapids. Where the waters are calm they are so clear that you can see the bottom, a few fish are darting around hurriedly. We stop in the middle of the bridge and I prop my arms on the railing to watch them. Christian releases my hand to place it on the small of my back while rubbing Teddy soothingly with the other one. Savoring this moment I am unprepared for the words he speaks.

"He didn't deny anything." He blurts out, as if he has been trying to figure out how to say the words for so long but could never figure quite how to do it.

I turn my head to look at him. I know he is talking about Williamson. I eye him carefully before saying anything.

"He admitted to stalking me?" My words are more of a question than a declaration.

"Yes, Welch said he came clean in his statement to the police. He wasn't delusional; he didn't play up his factious story of a shared romance between the two of you. He told them that he blatantly stalked you repeatedly against your wishes and often without your knowledge."

A shiver climbs up my spine, spreading throughout my body and I feel chill bumps form on my skin.

"Where is he now?" I feel a stutter trying to form behind my voice but do my best to disguise it. I don't want Christian to know how alarmed I am by his admission. Now I know what he was so hesitant to tell me what Welch had found out. Williamson's admittance to his guilt is eerie and frankly more disturbing to me than if he had continued with his lie. Something just doesn't feel right to me.

"He's still in jail. Welch and my lawyer are handling the charges we have filed against him. His wife is insistent on her charges as well. He should be in there for a while." He rubs my back reassuringly but I can see the fear behind his expression.

"What happens when he gets out?"

"I don't know baby. Welch and my lawyer are still working on that. There will be a restraining order in place, you can bet on that."

"That won't keep him at bay if he really wants to get to me though. You know that Christian."

"Security will be with you at all times once he is out until we know what happens next. No one is jumping at the opportunity to make bail for him." He almost snickers before continuing. "I guess he's not the most popular person among his family and friends."

I nod and turn to look back out at the flowing waters. Christian draws me close to his body, pulling me into his side and protecting me with his arm. "You're safe Ana, you know that right? I will always keep you safe." I nod again and twiddle Ted's wrap with my fingers. Teddy smiles at me with his lips and his baby gray eyes.

"I love you my Ted." I tell him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"I've you got you both Mommy, you are both safe."

Wrapping my arms around Christian's waist I hug both of my boys to me and feel the secure serenity of being with them. Now that I have this information I can only use it to protect myself and my family. I will not let it rule my daily life and routine. Here and now I decide to continue on with our beautiful day, not giving another thought to Mr. Michael Williamson. I trust Christian's team and know they will take care of my family.

"I think Teddy wants to cross to the other side of the bridge and sit on that bench down there so he can be closer to the duckies." I tell Christian, touching Ted's nose with my finger.

"Did he tell you that Mommy?"

"Yes he did Daddy."

"Then let's go look at the duckies." He says taking my hand back in his. His smile is breathtaking and alleviates my previous anxiety. Teddy's smile is almost an exact clone of his father's and he chooses that moment to give me adorable gummy grin.


	99. Chapter 99

**The summer sun is** setting when Christian parks back in front of our house. The bright orange glow as it seemingly sinks into the endless waters of the sound frames our home making it appear to be a painted haven. It is though, to me. This house which Christian found for us is much more than wood, paint and concrete. It is our home where we are safe from the outside world. It embraces our little family in its intricate love.

After turning off the ignition we sit in contemplative silence, neither one of us wanting to break the spell of our dreamlike day we have spent together as a family. The sound of Ted's gentle breathing from the backseat envelopes us. Our little man is all tuckered out from his day of duckie watching. I feel Christian place his hand under my chin, he turns my lips to his and presses them together.

"Perfect day wasn't it?" I ask him.

"It is always perfect when it is with you Ana…thank you."

"For what?"

"For getting me out today, making me see the beauty of the world around me. I know I've said this before but seeing the world with you is like looking at it all for the first time all over again."

I cannot help the urge I have to kiss him again, so I do.

"Let's get our son in, bathed, fed and tucked into bed shall we?" He reaches for the door handle and I do the same. Just then Taylor comes out the front door and helps us unload the few things we have before taking the SUV around to the garage. I never have quite figured out how he always knows when Christian needs him but I am glad that he does.

**Crossing my legs I **sit Indian style on the rug in front of my rocking chair in Ted's nursery. The sun has set and the room is cloaked in blackness with the exception of the moon reflecting over the dark waters and the dim lamp resting near the crib. After fastening our son's footed pajamas Christian quietly pads across the wood floor coming to sit in the chair with Ted. He picks up the bottle I have pumped for him and set on the small table and offers it against Teddy's pink lips while cradling him against his body. I watch our baby take the nipple in his mouth and begin to suckle. A smile spreads across his daddy's face.

"Always hungry…" Christian murmurs mostly to himself.

"He's had a busy day Daddy." I whisper in answer.

Teddy continues to drink, pulling my milk from his bottle. I love his baby grunts and sighs that fill the room while he eats.

"He's growing up too fast Ana. Mom told me before he was born that once you have children time seems to move by faster. I didn't pay much heed to her but now having him here with us I understand what she meant."

I watch them rocking back and forth methodically for a few moments. The motion is almost spellbinding, lulling me into a hypnotic trance.

"She said those same words to me when I was carrying Ted. I felt like I would be pregnant with him forever but time with him in my arms seems to fly by."

My tone is wistful; melancholy is not the emotion I feel though. What I feel is pride. I am so proud of my husband and the beautiful baby we created together. If my heart swelled any bigger it would simply burst.

"Mommy and I will cherish every moment with you son. You are my sun and my moon."

Leaning down he and presses his lips to Teddy's forehead, whispering I love you to our baby. Long after Ted has drifted to sleep we remain the way we are, me sitting on the floor and Christian rocking our slumbering baby in his arms, wrapped in peace and comfort.

*********Thank you all so much for reading. Your comments, reviews, ideas, critiques and encouragement has meant so much to me. I am still working on editing this story, adding scenes and such ;) when I have my site up I will let you know. In the mean time I will be starting the new story Fifty Shades Complete Part 2 sometime this week so be on the look out for it. Thank you for reading!****


	100. Chapter 100

Fifty Shades Complete Part 2 is Up! I have just put up the prologue but more is coming. I am making the chapters much longer in this story so bear with me.


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